by Ciara Cole
Alain couldn’t remember the last time he’d been into vanilla sex. With other women he’d never really welcomed the intimacy of making love and felt more comfortable within the walls of a kinky, BDSM liaison with all the accompanying boundaries. Maya gave him a whole new perspective, where he could always have it both ways. It simply blew him away.
Brushing his lips against hers, he thrust and thrust and felt ready to lose himself in an endless foray of Maya. Sensing the changes in her body as her constricting walls pulsed and gushed in readiness to orgasm, Alain groaned and pulled back from her lips.
Watching her he saw her phases of release, the dilating of her liquid brown eyes, the way her lips parted in a silent scream while her body shuddered in ecstasy. Alain followed suit moments later, having held back just long enough to ensure they both coasted the smoldering waves together.
He looked into her eyes while Maya lay beneath him and in that moment, he sensed all her emotions. Her trust, love and fulfillment. Alain knew that would have been a perfect moment to tell her the truth – and to let her know he felt the same.
I really should have told her I loved her, he would think to himself over and over weeks and months later. It was a lapse he would regret with all the depth of his heart when the time came. Because in the end, even when he hadn’t set out to, he managed to leave her all alone, emotionally and physically. And would hate himself for it for a long, long time to come.
Chapter Eight
Nothing seemed to make sense anymore, not to Maya. Just days ago, she was so sure she understood the way of the world, and just where she stood with a certain man who’d blown into her life at just the right time. And now he was gone.
That rainy night a week ago, Maya and Alain finally had sex. The next morning before Maya was awake, Alain had left with a vague note and his phone number, saying he had to go back to Europe early.
Maya had been in shock the whole time afterwards, and even the fact that there were signs Alain would be back gave her no reassurances. For one thing he’d left the keys to the garage and some money to continue to source parts. But the whole leaving in the middle of the night thing didn’t bode well.
What could she do, but pick up the pieces and forge ahead? She had her menswear shop job, and on top of that was her new past time of networking within the car community. A new determination set in, as Maya began to decide how to move forward. Maybe her new career would be centered round being a classic-car enthusiast.
She certainly needed every kind of distraction to keep her mind off Alain, or any thoughts of calling his number.
That was, until a month later, when she found out she was pregnant.
Chapter Nine
Her best friend Nikki was all for Maya calling Alain up with the news about the pregnancy. All Maya wanted to do, was first just get her head around the fact she was carrying a baby. For a man who’d made love to her one night, then disappeared. And hadn’t called her since.
Finally, Maya found it impossible to keep up her stance not to contact Alain. He’d been the one to leave, whether on an emergency, or to escape any kind of repercussion from their night of passion. A part of her, was beginning to regret her wish for them to become lovers, because it had all but backfired on her if she had to admit.
There was no more time to think. She’d received the full test results that morning, confirming her suspicions.
For so long all she’d wanted was a stable relationship. She had a comfortable life, but nothing was really complete without someone to share it all with. How could she now connect the caring Alain, to the cold one who’d left her high and dry and in the biggest pickle of her life?
Now she was carrying his child, and she suddenly knew she had to tell him before it was too late.
Maya didn’t want to raise a child all alone. She couldn’t imagine putting a child on her parents either, when they had their own kids to raise. If she was going to make any decisions about her pregnancy, she’d at least need Alain’s input. Whether he would deny it, or turn his back on her completely, was what she couldn’t be sure of. When it came to Alain she could never be sure of anything ever again.
Maya called the foreign number with a sense of purpose she hadn’t had, before she found out about the baby. But the person who answered the phone was female who first spoke in rapid French. When Maya interrupted her in English and asked to speak to Alain, there was a sudden silence.
The next moment, Maya could hear the phone exchange hands and then it was Alain speaking. Maya’s breath caught for a moment at the sound of his voice after so many weeks.
“Alain, it’s Maya. We need to talk,” she started after they shared the initial greeting. It ached her deep inside to feel like she was talking to a stranger.
“Is everything OK?” His tone had been surprised when she’d first said who she was, as if he’d never expected to hear from her again. Now he sounded deeply concerned.
Maya had to hide her confusion. She didn’t understand who it was who’d first picked up the phone. It had definitely been a woman, but who was she to Alain?
Somehow, she couldn’t find the words to say what she’d meant to say. “I just wanted to know when you’ll be back. You’ve been gone a month already, and I didn’t want to seem impatient, or entitled in any way or I would have called earlier. Still, I’m curious to know if you really ever plan to return.”
Resentment had begun to creep into her voice, and Maya was sure Alain detected it. He seemed to let out a deep sigh. “I’ll still tied up here for at least another two months. But if there’s anything serious that needs…”
“No,” she said quickly. “There’s nothing serious, honestly. You do what you have to do.”
“So, you’ll wait for me?”
The husky heat in his voice was back, and try as she could Maya couldn’t fight the chills of pleasure going up and down her back. She was crazy, wasn’t she? Because she was already making up all kinds of excuses why this was happening and how it couldn’t be any fault of Alain’s. It had to be something beyond his control, and she’d have to respect that.
“It’s not like I have a choice, do I?” she finally joked, while thinking that of course, Alain couldn’t tell what she really meant. What could she do but wait, even when she knew that in two months, she was possibly going to start to show.
Wait, she was keeping the baby?
Maya kept asking herself the same question over and over, long after her call with Alain had ended. And yet, deep down she already knew the answer.
Two months was indeed a long wait. Maya could only keep busy as much as she could. Partly, she acted as if the pregnancy hadn’t happened and life was normal as usual. But during unexpected moments, she’d get bouts of sentimentality when she’d simply burst into tears of disarray and fear. How could she possibly know what decisions to make, when this baby wasn’t hers alone?
Somehow, she made it through the many long weeks of waiting. Being a woman who always had that enterprising spirit, nothing could ever really keep her down for long. She was so sure she’d got herself together, but that was until the moment her phone rang, and it was Alain. He was back.
He asked if they could meet up, and Maya said yes. They made plans, and the moment the call ended Maya felt the panic set in. Did she really want to see him again? This was the weirdest relationship if there ever was one. Even if it was a long distance one, why was he so close-mouthed about himself – why couldn’t they keep in constant contact? Could he possibly be – gasp – married? And was trying to keep Maya as his dirty little secret?
That was all the least of her worries though. The baby inside her was showing more and more signs of its presence each day. She had no obvious symptoms yet, except some infrequent bloating that went after a day or two. Maya wondered, would Alain notice anything different about her physically, when they met up again after three whole months apart?
The fact was, Alain did notice something a whole lot different – in Maya’s demeanor,
for one. She still had her usual confidence, just not with the same openness that had made it so easy to get closer to her. Now, she’d put up fences around her emotions and responses, acting more guarded than she’d ever been – but could Alain really blame her?
Normally, he’d meant to stay away three months thanks to an unavoidable work emergency. Yet, he’d done his best to wrap things up in two, so he could make it back to Maya. Now there was this divide that hadn’t been between them before, and he hated it.
He wanted the old Maya back, but how could he ease her mind, wouldn’t having to spill all the secrets he’d so far kept from her? There had to be another way to melt down her reserve, so he started asking about what decision she’d made as to her future, as well as what cars she’d found for him to restore. It was the first time she began to show any kind of animation, as her face brightened while talking about her plans. There was still something about her that had him concerned though.
“Looks like you’ve been busy,” he said. “I’d imagine how exciting and exhausting it must all have been. You did manage to put on a little weight, so that’s a plus.”
Maya let out a slight laugh, even as she raised a self-conscious hand to her cheeks. “For some women, weight gain isn’t actually a good thing.”
“Well, the extra pounds looks great on you. You have this delightful glow, Maya. I can’t tear my eyes from you.”
And yet, you could tear yourself away for three whole months, Maya would have burst out saying, but held herself back just in time. She wasn’t going to attack him for leaving. She just felt so glad he was back – even though she couldn’t show it to the fullest.
Maya wasn’t surprised at Alain’s level of observation – he was always so astute and had noticed her body had changed. But he couldn’t guess it was from pregnancy. Maya, in her own case had been careful with her outfit, choosing a flattering dress in a free-flowing silhouette that hid her baby bump. She was already starting to show and couldn’t keep the baby a secret too much longer – not if Alain was going to be around for a bit. She just couldn’t decide, when would be the best time to break the news.
Maya didn’t argue when Alain chose to bring her back to her place. But she led him up to her apartment instead of lingering in the garage. It held too many memories of their time together and Maya didn’t want any of those memories clouding her judgment. Once upstairs she offered Alain some wine or coffee, he chose wine but Maya didn’t pour a glass for herself.
“You must have a lot of things on your mind where we’re both concerned,” he began, twirling the empty wineglass in his hand as he sat on the edge of the couch. Maya sat on the other end, hugging her arms around her with her back stiff while sitting forward.
“I’m simply interested in how you plan explaining yourself,” Maya said calmly.
“What if I asked you to trust that it’s for the best?” Alain lifted those arresting blue eyes up to Maya’s. “You always put faith in whatever I said. Has it changed?”
“Oh, you have no idea what’s changed,” Maya said with a dramatic shake of her head. “But there are a few questions I have. When I called your number, it was a woman who answered and I wasn’t sure what to think. Is she some secretary, or…”
“That was Cerise. She’s an assistant at the company where I work. You don’t have to bother about her or anyone. I’m more interested, in knowing just how much progress you made. And if you really want to make your mark in the car community like you’ve implied. Is that really your dream?”
“So now you care about my dreams?” Maya huffed. “You skip out of here without warning, barely even call me or keep in touch, and suddenly my dreams matters? You’re joking right?”
Maya saw Alain’s cheeks flush slightly and she felt a twinge of satisfaction. Whether he was angry or just embarrassed that she called him out, it didn’t matter. If she didn’t love him so much, she’d have kicked him out from the first second.
Feeling annoyed with herself, with everything, Maya sprang up from the couch. Alain rose too, and now his brow was furrowed, this time in concern. “Maya, are you okay?”
“What?” she asked wide-eyed, surprised at the look on his face.
“Your nose is bleeding.” He gently grabbed her shoulders, swearing harshly in French even as he peered into her face. “Just what the hell is happening? Are you sick?”
“No, I’m not sick!” She brushed out of his arms and turned away, while lifting a tissue she kept handy to her nose. “I have nosebleeds every once in a while. I just need to soothe it with a dab of petroleum jelly and it’ll be back to normal.”
“There’s something you aren’t telling me,” Alain said, his chest slightly heaving as he placed his hands on his hips. “I’m not backing down till I find out what it is. I was with you for months and you never had nosebleeds once.”
“Nose issues are quite common in my condition.” Maya spoke in a calm tone, closing her eyes briefly before turning to face Alain again. “It’s the pregnancy hormones, or so my doctor tells me. Alain, I’m having a baby. Our baby.”
Chapter Ten
The following day was Maya’s three-month appointment, and she’d invited Alain to come with her. She had the hope that Alain might settle down and work on this with her.
He did show up, and when they both see the baby on the screen for the first time (a boy), Alain seemed overcome with emotion. Maya didn’t think it had all set in for him, until now. When she’d told him last night about the baby, she’d asked him to go back home to his hotel and think things over for the night. They’d both needed some distance but Maya had been glad, that he hadn’t acted like a dick and asked her if it was sure it was his.
Now, she felt incredibly connected with him as they shared a look. Afterward, they took a walk around the park surrounding the hospital. They found a bench in a cozy corner of the garden, and talked.
“Before I say anything, I’d like to know how you feel.” Alain didn’t look at her, but had his hand over hers in a warm, reassuring grip that almost, made Maya forgive him for his disappearing act.
Taking a deep breath, Maya found her voice, and gathered her thoughts. “Having the baby feels right to me. I’ll continue to work my retail jobs and support my small family. I’d love for you to be involved, but…I’ll understand if you’re not ready.”
She could have sworn she saw him flinch slightly, but Maya couldn’t be sure. She turned to him fully, expectantly. “Alain?”
His light blue eyes shifted to hers, and she saw all that genuineness she’d found so compelling and attractive from the start. There’d always been something noble and worthy about Alain, but could she still trust her instinct after what happened?
“The baby feels right to me too. This is what I want for my future, as well. That’s all I can say.”
“That’s all I need to know.” For now, Maya added to herself.
Seeing something in her eyes, he moved closer, took her hand and tugged her the rest of the way into the cache of his arms. It had been so long…and she was feeling extra vulnerable tonight. Getting to see her beautiful baby boy for the first time, and learning that he was fully formed and healthy, gave her life more richness than it had ever known. Even just breathing felt like the utmost treasure, and Alain’s nearness, his touch…felt just as precious.
Maya knew she was a fool, but she couldn’t stop the way she felt about him. He kissed her lips and the world became picture perfect. He’d never made her any promises, and just with his smile did he manage to spin his wizardry that had her melting into his charms.
She could tell herself it was just sex, and she was just using Alain’s body for the pleasure she craved. Or she could admit that she was ready to settle for whatever he had to offer, even if it wasn’t lasting, or secure. If it had to be for just here and now, then I’ll have to live with that, Maya told herself, as she stepped into her bedroom while leading Alain in with her hand in his.
The door closed behind them in the dimly li
t bedroom and that’s when Maya relinquished control, and Alain took over. As willingly as ever, she gave herself up to his guiding touch and wishes. Such as when he told her to strip, slowly, and then had her stand there naked and quivering while he perused her blooming form with blazing eyes. Her breasts were fuller and her nipples thicker, and though her waistline remained trim there was definitely evidence of the baby bump as Alain rested his hand there along with hers.
“I’m going to take care of you. Both of you,” he said huskily, and when he looked up, Maya held his gaze with bated breath. Could he really be making a commitment right now? Maya almost didn’t dare hope.
Just dwell in the moment, Maya thought to herself. She watched breathlessly as Alain too, undressed with deliberate slowness. She drank in his masculine beauty as he walked over to her, never taking his gaze off her. Shivers chilled up and down her body and she moved back, until she bumped into the dresser behind her.
His hands on both sides of her head, he leaned closer and brought his lips closer to hers then stopped. Feeling his warm breath on her lips, and his gaze burning unto her skin, drove Maya’s hormones up the wall. She was going weak at the knees, wishing she could lean further back but instead, found herself drawing in and closing the space between them.
Hmm, his lips were soft and tasted like cherry wine. Gasping, Maya drew back instantly as heat shot down her stomach to her inner thighs. This time, Alain chuckled and seized her mouth again, crushing her lips with his and exploring the inside of her mouth hungrily. Maya gasped and arched against him, just as he shifted from her lips to kiss down her neck to her breast. Taking one full into his mouth, he sucked it deeply and brought tingles of bliss throughout her nerve cells.
“Alain. Oh God,” she gasped, throwing her head back and shuddering. While she gripped harder at the edges of the dresser for support, Alain sank on his knees and buried his face within the apex of her thighs.