The girl nodded before she quickly got up to do her mistress's bidding.
Kerrigan followed up the stairs after her. She led him to an attic room that was at the far end of the shop.
He hesitated as he saw the meager furnishings that made up their dormitory. Each girl had been relegated to a small pallet with a thin, paltry mattress that sat on the floor. Each bed had one small, flat pillow and one threadbare blanket. To the right of each pallet was a plain trunk. There was nothing warm here. Nothing welcoming. It was no better than the bleak atmosphere of Camelot.
Yet this was where his little mouse had dreamed of her modest merchant who would one day claim her…
Anger welled up inside him.
"Who are you, girl?"
She paused before one of the pallets to look up, then she caught herself before she met his gaze. Her eyes fell back to the floor. "Wendlyn, my lord."
"Wendlyn," he said, softening his voice as he recalled her from Seren's memories. "You two are friends."
She nodded as she opened the lid to the ark that was nearest the window. "All of Seren's belongings are in here, my lord."
Kerrigan had to duck to enter the room. He didn't speak as he approached the trunk that held almost nothing. There was a modest cloak for the colder weather. A pair of patched hose, an old kirtle, and a ragged white chemise. He moved them aside to find a single pair of leather shoes that had a hole in the bottom of each sole.
Pain hit him hard as he realized that this was all his little mouse had in the world. And she'd been so proud of it. After all, she'd had potential…
His heart heavy, he gathered up each item until he found her small loom resting in the bottom, wrapped in a piece of brown cloth. It looked as worthless as the rest of her belongings. Yet it was priceless to him. If not for this loom, he would never have known that Seren existed.
As he pulled it out, a small pendant fell free from the brown cloth it was wrapped in. Kerrigan frowned at the sight. He reached into the chest to find the heraldic dragon of Avalon. The symbol of Arthur. He knew instantly that it must have belonged to her mother.
"Why is this in here?"
The girl glanced at the pendant, then looked away. "We are peasants, my lord. The necklace belonged to Seren's mother. Had Mistress Maude known about it, she would have taken it from her and sold it for her upkeep, so Seren kept it hidden. She would take it out sometimes at night and pray for her mother, then she would hide it away again."
He could just imagine her doing that. His hand shaking from his raw emotions, he ran his fingers over the trunk's lid and imagined Seren opening it up every day and carefully closing it. He felt connected to her.
But she was his past now…
Taking a deep breath, he gathered up everything and rose. As he started away, the girl's voice stopped him.
"My lord?"
"Aye?" He looked back to find her staring at the floor, her brow knitted by worry.
"Might I ask after Seren? Is she…is she well?"
Her concern for his mouse warmed him. "Aye, Wendlyn. She's hale and healthy, and in a much better place than this one."
He saw the relief on her face. "Would you please tell her that I asked after her, my lord? And let her know that I wish her well?"
"I will indeed."
"Thank you."
He inclined his head before he left the room and found Blaise waiting for him on the stairs.
"Are you all right?"
Kerrigan glared at him. "Do I not look all right?"
"Nay. You look strange."
He grimaced as he brushed past the mandrake. It wasn't until after they had left the building that Kerrigan stopped. He lifted the sleeve of her kirtle to his face so that he could inhale the scent of Seren mixed with the cedar of the box.
He missed her already.
Oh how he wished that things were different. That he was different. But wishing was good for naught. This was the way of it.
His resolve set, he handed the bundle off to Blaise. As he did so a small copper thimble fell free of the cloth. Kerrigan bent down to retrieve it.
How paltry it was. How worthless.
But it was Seren's.
"You're not planning to go to Avalon, are you?" Blaise asked.
"Nay," he said as he clutched the tiny thimble in his hand. "We both know that the Lords of Avalon would never allow me to their shores. Not that I blame them. We've been at war far too long for them to welcome or tolerate me. I made my choice centuries ago. I'm man enough to live with it."
Blaise arched a brow. "Honestly, I don't want to go there, either. You know how I feel about good guys. They're boring."
Kerrigan gave a short laugh at his words. "Morgen will kill you if you stay with me. Besides, Seren will be lonely and afraid at Avalon. She needs a friend."
"She would rather have you."
Kerrigan handed both of Seren's necklaces to the mandrake. As he started to hand over the thimble, he paused.
It was a part of her he couldn't let go. Closing his fist over it, he lowered his hand.
Blaise gave him a hard stare. "Do you have anything you wish me to tell her for you?"
"Just convey Wendlyn's words to her."
"But none from you?"
Kerrigan shook his head. "Words are ever deceitful. There's nothing more to be said between us."
By the expression on Blaise's face, he could tell the mandrake wanted to argue, but he didn't. "You know that when I leave here, you're stranded in this time."
"Nay, I still have my Merlin's magic to sustain me." With that he could still evade them.
"But nothing else."
Not true. He had a copper thimble and the memory of a fair-haired lady who'd given him the only sense of peace he'd ever known.
It was more than he'd ever had before.
"I shall battle onward. 'Tis what I excel at."
Blaise let out a long, weary breath. "It's been an honor to be with you all these centuries, Kerrigan. I've always considered you a friend."
"I know. It's why I never killed you for your insubordination."
Blaise laughed.
"But," Kerrigan said, interrupting his amusement. "I would ask one thing of you."
"And that is?"
"Find someone to marry Seren before she shows her pregnancy. Her worst fear is to have the baby bastard born."
"If she's unwilling?"
"She won't be. She knows that the child needs a father to claim it." But inside he was aching at the thought of that father being someone other than he.
She was his…
He clenched his teeth as the pain of it overwhelmed him. Damn it, no wonder he'd always profaned altruism. What good was it? All it did was hurt.
Yet for her, he was willing to suffer, and that was the most amazing part of all.
"I'll find her a husband."
"Thank you."
Blaise inclined his head to him. "God speed you, Kerrigan."
He snorted at that. "God speed you, my friend. He was never with the likes of me."
And then he watched as the mandrake faded out of this existence, to manifest himself on the shores of Avalon.
Kerrigan tightened his grip around the thimble as he imagined the look of hurt on Seren's precious face when Blaise appeared without him.
But what was done, was done. It was for the best.
Shaking his head, he listened to his internal voice scream at him that he was an idiot. He had traded his kingship so that Seren could live as a queen. And for what?
"For the woman I love," he whispered. The truth seared him. He wasn't sure how she'd managed to wiggle into his diseased heart, but she had.
He had given her his worst and she had brought out a best in him that he'd never even known he possessed.
Now it was time to finish this. Even without the sword or Seren's necklace, his magic was enough that he could still time-travel to escape Morgen's army, but to what purpose?
He'd never once in his life b
een craven and he wasn't about to start now. There was only one way to make sure that none of his kind ever hunted Seren again.
"Morgen!" he shouted in the alleyway. "If you want me, I'm here."
Within a few seconds, four Adoni appeared. They flashed into the alley, then looked about nervously as if expecting a trap.
Kerrigan sneered at them and their fear. "Oh, what's this, Morgen? When have you ever been a coward? Face me."
Morgen appeared between the Adoni. Her arms folded, she narrowed her gaze on him. "Where is she?"
He kept his face completely blank. "She's gone."
"Gone where?"
"Avalon."
She gaped before her face was contorted by her anger. "Have you gone mad? Why would you let her go?"
He shrugged with a nonchalance he didn't feel. "It's where she belongs."
Morgen shrieked in outrage. "Have you completely lost all reason? Why would you do such a thing?"
He offered her a taunting grin. "I did it just to piss you off. Your face always turns such a becoming shade of red whenever you lose your temper."
Hissing, she closed the distance between them. And as she drew nearer, he could see the moment she realized that he no longer had Caliburn.
The rage melted under a wave of disbelief. She raised her hand up as if she were sensing the air around him.
A slow, evil smile curled her lips. "I may have lost my temper and my pawn, but you, dear boy…you're going to lose more than that. A lot more."
Chapter 15
Seren had to give Merlin credit; the woman certainly made her feel at home. She was brought into the castle and set up in a room that made the one she'd had in Joyous Gard seem like a hovel.
But no sooner had she stepped into her room than something strange happened to her. Everything began to spin. One minute she was on her feet listening to Merlin, and the next she was kneeling on the floor as an awful pain ripped through her.
It felt as if she were being torn asunder.
"Seren?"
She could hear Merlin, but she couldn't respond as she knelt on all fours, trying to fight off whatever held her in its grip. It was as if something volcanic was building up inside her, getting ready to erupt.
Suddenly, things were flying around the room, breaking, tumbling.
The entire world was out of control.
And then she felt…something even more foreign. It slithered through her body like poison, moving slowly, methodically.
It was Kerrigan's magic. That dark and frightening part of him that lacked all humanity. She could feel his Merlin's powers taking root inside her, and with them came archaic knowledge. They were all-consuming and so incredibly painful.
Merlin backed up as she saw Seren open her eyes. No longer green, they were a frightening shade of yellow with streaks of red in them.
"Seren?"
"Do you fear me?" It wasn't Seren's gentle voice she heard, but rather a deep, demonic one.
"Nay." But Merlin knew it for a lie. She was afraid of this. She could feel the evil that radiated from Seren. She didn't know what held possession of the woman, but it wasn't benevolent or kind.
And then a new maelstrom rushed through the room. It was blinding as cold winds whipped her around. Paintings and tapestries were torn from the walls as objects crashed to the floor. Objects flew at her so furiously that she couldn't even identify them.
Merlin tried to duck as best she could, but it wasn't enough. Things slammed into her body with a stinging resolve. Her hair streamed around her, snapping in the wind as her dress was plastered against her body. "Seren!"
Demonic laughter answered her.
Merlin saw another flash by her side an instant before something rushed across the room to wrap itself around Seren.
Two seconds later, the winds stopped.
Merlin touched her hand to the place on her forehead that was throbbing most to find a cut there. She wiped away the blood as she realized what the flash had been.
It was Blaise who was now holding Seren as a mother might hold a screaming child.
"Seren," the mandrake cooed to her. "Let it go."
Seren screamed out madly. "I want the power. It nourishes me."
"But it could kill your baby."
The winds picked up for a heartbeat, only to settle down once more as those words reached Seren.
Merlin felt a jolt go through her as the power in the room evaporated.
Still Blaise held Seren to him, rocking her gently in his arms. "It's Kerrigan's power to wield, Seren, not yours. He only gave it to you because he thought he'd be around to help you control it so that you could fight Morgen's army. You no longer need it. Now let it go."
Seren clung to him as if he were her lifeline. "Where is Kerrigan? You were supposed to bring him here."
Merlin's heart clenched at the pain she heard in Seren's tone.
"I left him in London."
Anger descended on her pale face before Seren shoved at Blaise's chest. "Let go of me. You promised you'd bring him here."
"I know, Seren. I know."
Merlin crossed the room to kneel on the floor beside them. How she wished she could soothe Seren's pain, but she knew Seren was past that. "It's for the best, Seren. Kerrigan doesn't belong here."
Her eyes flashed back to yellow. "Then neither do I."
"Yes, you do."
Seren paused as she heard another voice. This one wasn't Merlin's and it wasn't Blaise's.
More than that, it wasn't coming from outside her body. She could hear it only inside her head.
"Kerrigan?" she barely whispered his name.
"Aye, little mouse. I'm here with you. And I need you to do as Merlin says. Let her care for you and the baby." The deep cadence of his voice was music to her, but it wasn't enough.
Closing her eyes, she used her thoughts to talk to him. I would rather you were here.
"I know. But trust me, this is for the best. You're safe there."
What of you?
"I'm fine, little mouse. I've escaped Morgen's clutches and am forced to travel to keep her from finding me or you. There's no need to worry over me. You do as Merlin tells you, and I will be here whenever you need me."
Where are you?
"I'm…I'm where I can be with you. But not at the moment. I need to go for a bit."
She felt him pulling away from her.
"Kerrigan!" she cried, trying to pull away from Blaise.
But it was too late. He was gone.
She looked up at Blaise, who was still holding her. "What is wrong with me? Why can't I control anything?"
It was Merlin who answered. "Your body is trying to acclimate itself to the evil that Kerrigan gave you. I can bring you a purge that will remove his powers from you."
"Nay," she said, interrupting her. "I don't want a purge. I want to keep Kerrigan within me."
Merlin looked skeptical, but didn't argue.
As Blaise released her, Seren's gaze fell to her belongings, which were on the floor beside him. She'd never thought to see any of it again, and even though it was a worthless bunch of objects, those few things meant the world to her.
Picking up her loom, she held it to her as gratitude overwhelmed her.
She almost felt whole again as Blaise passed along Wendlyn's words.
How she wished she could see her friends again, but Morgen would never allow that, and she knew it. If she went to them, Morgen would find her.
Blaise hesitated before he held his hand out to her.
Seren frowned as he placed something cold in her palm. She opened her hand to see her mother's two necklaces. One brought relief to her, but the other…
It infuriated her.
"Kerrigan has no way to come here."
Blaise shook his head. "He wanted to make sure the doorway was closed. For your safety."
"For my safety?"
"Aye, Seren. What he did, he did for you."
Still it didn't make sense to her. "But why? Wh
y won't he come?"
"The Kerrigan is our enemy," Merlin said quietly. "And he knows this. The men who have fought him all these centuries past would never welcome him here."
Stunned, she indicated Blaise with her hand. "Is he not an enemy as well? He's Kerrigan's servant."
Merlin's next words stunned her most of all. "Blaise has been a friend of ours for many centuries, Seren. He's no enemy of Avalon."
"What?"
Blaise nodded. "I was taken in as a child by Emrys Penmerlin. I was there when Camelot fell to Morgen, and she captured me to be her servant as punishment after Emrys vanished. I was given to Kerrigan, but I've been in touch with Merlin many times over the years."
"You spied for them?"
"Aye."
Seren shook her head in disgust. "You know the truth of Kerrigan. Tell her that he isn't evil. He belongs here, too."
Blaise looked away.
Even angrier than before, she met Merlin's gaze. "Is it the will of the Merlin that a man who sacrifices so much for the well-being of another person should be denied entrance to this place?"
Merlin sighed. "There is much in our past that you don't know about or understand. Kerrigan—"
"I don't want to hear one word against him," she snarled between clenched teeth.
Glancing down, Seren saw the medallion her mother had given her in her dream. Aye, with this she could go to Kerrigan. She didn't have to stay here.
That thought had barely completed itself before Blaise snatched the medallion from her hand. "You can't leave Avalon, Seren. Ever."
"Fetch me more wine, slave."
Kerrigan hissed as he felt the bite of Morgen's whip against his back. He tried to send a sorcerer's ball at her, but she easily deflected it and sent another one straight into his chest. The blast of it knocked him off his feet and sent him skittering across the stone floor.
He tried to rise, but couldn't. His body ached too much. The pain of her abuse tore through him like shattered glass.
Morgen crossed the room to kick him over, onto his back. She glared down at him with open hatred. "Poor worm. Look at you. Yesterday you were the Kerrigan, king of Camelot. Now you're nothing but a nameless slave. Worthless. Disgusting. And for what? For a peasant who cares nothing for you." Curling her lip, she kicked him again and again.
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