That was mighty tempting, but I suggested we get there quickly for fear of Billy Ray drowning.
“I don’t think that’ll happen. Those two ladies love that old guy.”
“Oh, bless your sweet but stupid little heart. You just have no idea, do you?”
“About what?” He said that just in time to hear the hollering as we approached the dunk tank.
“You good for nothing snake, what makes you think you can just switch gals like that?” Bonnie yelled.
Bam! A BB hit the corner of the target and ricocheted off it. The on-lookers all ducked.
“Why I got half a mind to stop aiming for this dunk tank thingie right here and shoot ya myself,” Henrietta screamed. She aimed her BB gun at Billy Ray.
“You going to stop her?” I asked.
Matthew stood next to Dylan. They leaned toward each other and whispered.
Belle nudged me with her shoulder. “You missed the good stuff. Bonnie dropped a cuss bomb the devil would have blushed from. Old Lady Shallowford, the one that always wore the big orange hats to church back when we were in high school, she about had herself a heart attack right over there.” She pointed to the left side of the dunk tank.
“Old Lady Shallowford? I thought she died?”
“Everybody thought she died.” She shrugged. “Guess not. Unless she’s a ghost. It is almost Halloween.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Anyway, Billy Ray, bless his heart, he tried to get out of that tank. Said he needed to grab her some sweet tea and a Band-Aid, but no way was that going to happen. Them two? They were all over his skinny little behind like flies on manure, as your momma would say. They told him if he left that tank before he chose one of them, they would shoot him dead right there.”
“With a BB gun?”
“They’re spitfires. You never know what they’ll do.”
“That’s true.”
Matthew grabbed hold of Bonnie’s arm while Dylan latched onto Henrietta’s. They pulled the two ladies aside while Dylan spoke loudly, but calmly. “Now, now ladies. You don’t want to go shooting anyone with these things.”
The two men plucked the guns from the old women’s hands.
“You could hurt someone with them. ‘Specially an old man like Billy Ray Brownlee. You really want to go and do that?” Dylan asked.
“Darn straight we do,” Henrietta said.
“Darn tootin’,” Bonnie agreed.
“You know what he done said to us?” Henrietta asked.
“I heard, something about not being sure which one of you lovely ladies he wants to call his girl? Now, I certainly don’t want to be shot either, but I can see why he’s conflicted.”
They both snarled at Dylan.
I peeked over at Billy Ray as Matthew snuck past me to help him sneak out of the dunk tank.
Dylan waved his hands in surrender. “Ladies, let me explain. You two are both beautiful. You’re funny, and you’re smart. Why, if I were Billy Ray or Old Man Goodson, I’d be just as perplexed about the two of you, too. I mean, look at yourselves. You’re both the perfect catch. Who wouldn’t want to sample the menu before calling in their order? Cut the boy some slack. Just tell him who he gets and be done with this craziness he’s put you through, okay?”
Oh my goodness. He’d either struck gold with that one or dug his own grave. I held my breath waiting for their decision, and from the shifting of Dylan’s eyes, I knew he worried about it, too.
When Henrietta and Bonnie glanced at each other, smiled, and nodded, I finally breathed again.
“He’s got a point there, you know,” Bonnie said.
“We are the best catches in Bramblett County,” Henrietta said.
“I was thinking in all of north Georgia.”
“Well, I was trying to be nice. I haven’t been to Forsyth much lately, so I can’t say for sure. And those rich biddies in Fulton, they get all that plastic surgery done so they might look a little better than us.”
“Henrietta, it ain’t just about looks, it’s about the whole package.” She pushed out the top half of her potato sack dress, a lovely orange and green floral printed one that represented the season well. “And how we use it.”
Belle clapped. “That’s what I’m talking about right there. Work it like you mean it ladies.”
“Don’t encourage them,” I whispered.
“Are you kidding? I’m taking notes!”
The corner of Dylan’s mouth twitched.
Old Man Goodson crept up behind the ladies. “I’m just blessed that either of you will consider me your guy. I’m not complaining.”
“Oh,” Belle pushed herself in front of him, just in case one of them took that wrong.
The ladies laughed.
“It’s okay,” Bonnie said.
Henrietta agreed. “He’s a pleaser. He’ll do whatever we tell him. He’s just happy to get out of the house and away from that tyrant of an ex-wife.”
“Maybe it’s her we ought to be shooting with BB’s?”
“Ladies?” Dylan used his official sounding voice.
“Yes, Sheriff?” Bonnie used her innocent voice.
“I’m not opposed to throwing you in lock up for the night if I need to teach you a lesson.”
“Would you have to handcuff us?” Henrietta asked.
Belle and Matthew bent over in laughter.
Dylan did his best to keep a straight face. “Only if you asked nicely.”
“Oh, yes, Sheriff. We would. We definitely would.”
Those ladies were an absolute hoot.
A scrawny looking teenage boy with sandy blond hair brushed toward his face and gangly arms dangling at his sides wearing torn jeans and a black retro AC/DC t-shirt tapped Bonnie on the back of her right shoulder. “Meemaw, I’m going over to the corn maze now, ‘k? I’ll meet you there?”
“You go on honey. Have yourself some fun. You deserve it. We’ll be there in a bit.”
He nodded and walked off by himself.
Belle and I shared a look, neither of us realizing Bonnie had a child, let alone a grandchild.
* * *
We took our time meandering around the festival. Matthew and Caroline did a fantastic job of setting up a mini-carnival with booths and games, and Dylan won me a big brown teddy bear by tossing sandbags into a bucket. The bear was three times the size of Bo, and when he handed it to me, Bo growled and hid between my legs.
When the sun finally set and the sky darkened enough for just the light of the moon and stars to guide the way, the haunted corn maze opened, and for the first time in history, William, instead of his father, took the bullhorn and told the story of Abernathy Farm.
“Legend has it that over a hundred years ago the Baggarly family bought over two-hundred acres of land in what’s now called Bramblett County. A portion of that land is right here where y’all are standing on Abernathy Farm. The Baggarly’s bought the land from the widow of a strange old farmer named Woodruff Harvey. The widow sold the land after her husband’s passing.
“You might have heard about old Woody Harvey. He was an odd one, that Woody. Town folk used to call him the Crow. Woody farmed his land, growing corn and selling it in town, but the man was smart and used other parts of his property too, growing grass and raising cows for dairy purposes.
“As smart as he was, he was also cheap, and instead of stuffing a lot of scarecrows, old Woody Harvey set out at night in his beat up overalls and a big straw hat, stuffed to the hilt with his own hay scaring off anyone and anything that threatened his money makers, thus the nickname, the Crow.”
The crowd laughed, even though we all, or most of us anyway, knew the story well.
“Until the one fateful night when the eccentric old man finally lost it. Done gone and went two bricks short of a load, he did.” William accentuated his southern accent for effect.
A loud boom sounded across the farm, and the maze lit up the dark sky like a bright flash of lightning, and then everything went dark again.
Several members of the crowd screamed.
Dylan tightened his arms around my waist.
After a moment, my eyes adjusted to the light from the moon and stars again.
William turned on a flashlight and held it under his chin. “That night was Halloween. And it was cold and rainy, too. Like tonight, the full moon lit the sky and gave the townspeople just enough light to find their way through town. But what they found that night, they wished they’d never seen.”
William walked off the stage he’d been on and through the top half of the gathered crowd. “You see, the Crow’s wife had come out earlier that day cryin’, oh Lord she’d been cryin’. Seems her Woody hadn’t come home from his scarecrowing the night before, and she was worried something terrible had happened to her husband. She didn’t worry none about it at first, she said. Mentioned that sometimes he’d disappear like that. Maybe fall asleep out there in the field or something, so she hadn’t been too worried, but the sun fell again, she got to worryin’, and she came to town seekin’ help. And being the good people of Georgia like we all are, they did.
“They never did find Old Woody Harvey, not all of him, anyway. They did find his overalls, and his straw hat, and a trail of bloody hay and bloody, torn up corn stalks leading from the back of his barn disappearing into rows of corn in his field.
“To this day, people say they still hear his screams in this here cornfield.” William pointed to his chest. “Even me. I’ve heard them. I’ve even seen the dark, shadowy scarecrow figure floating in and out of the rows of corn, hear it laughing as I walk past. My dog won’t even go into the field anymore, he’s so scared.”
I tried not to laugh. William didn’t own a dog.
“But y’all go ahead, go through the maze. Don’t sweat it when you feel the hairs on the back of your neck rise, or that lump in the back of your throat. That foreboding feeling? It’s just the Crow behind you.”
A little boy a few people behind us cried. “Daddy, I don’t want to go. I don’t want the crows to kill me.”
Dylan chuckled. I elbowed him and whispered. “Stop it. He’s a little boy. This is scary stuff to a kid.”
He whispered back. “Crows though? That’s cute.”
I smiled because he was right. “That’s not the point. You should say something to him. You’re the sheriff.”
He sighed. “Great. You sure know how to hit the heart hard.”
“I am pretty good at that, aren’t I?”
He flipped around and walked over to the little boy crying.
“Hey, partner. My name is Dylan Roberts.”
The boy wiped his nose with the back of his hand. His father nodded to Dylan.
Dylan showed the boy his badge on his belt. “I’m the sheriff here in Bramblett County. Do you know what that is?”
The boy nodded. “Yeah. You’re the po-leece.”
“I am, and that means I’m here to protect you if something happens, right?”
The boy whimpered. “Uh huh.”
“Well, I know your dad is going to do a fine job of protecting you in that maze, but I’m going to be in there too, and you see that man right there?” He turned around and pointed to Matthew. “That’s my deputy, and he’ll be in there with me, so you’ll have two sheriffs in the maze along with you in case any of those crows come callin’, you got that?”
The boy dipped his head but shifted his eyes up toward Dylan. “Uh huh.”
Dylan rubbed the top of the boy’s head. “Okay then. You go on and have fun.”
The dad thanked him, and we headed back to our place in line, my heart full of mushiness for my country guy.
William and three of the maze staff had already begun to let the long line of people slowly enter just a few at a time.
“Only twenty every ten minutes,” he informed the waiting crowd.
The four of us wanted to wait until most of the crowd subsided.
“We’ll be here forever if we don’t go soon,” Belle said.
I nodded. “But I feel bad just cutting in front of people.”
“Uh, but we’ve got connections. That’s what friends are for, you know.”
Because Belle had the best timing ever, Caroline approached us then and told us if we didn’t get our scared little behinds up to the front of the line she’d take it personally. “And y’all don’t really want to upset a pregnant woman, do you?”
Matthew shook his head like he meant it. “No, ma’am,”
“Thank you, Matthew.” She winked at Belle. “You got yourself a keeper there, Belle.”
Belle smiled. “Don’t I know it.”
* * *
That movie Children of the Corn changed Abernathy Farm’s haunted corn maze forever. It likely changed corn mazes across the world forever, too.
Before that, our maze was fun scary, but ever since it bordered on wet-your-pants and forget-sleeping-that-night scary.
“Hey, do you have your location settings turned on your phone?” Belle asked.
“I’m not sure, why?”
“Because that’s cheating.”
“I don’t even use it. I think you had me turn it on for that app with all those photo filters once, but I never even use that thing. You know I hate that stuff.”
“You’re such an old fuddy-duddy.”
“I am not.”
“Come on girls, it’s our turn to go in.”
Belle grabbed my hand and wished me luck.
We entered the dark tunnel entrance draped closed with black roofing tarps, and I immediately jumped back, shaking from the bloodied clown face that popped out in front of me. Bo barked and cowered between my legs, peeing a little on the dirt ground. Dylan picked him up and carried him back out of the entrance and left him with William, which I’d initially suggested in the first place.
“Poor guy,” Belle said.
All I could think about was that little boy from earlier. I hoped he had on some kind of pull up because that bloody clown scared me. Kids under six had no business being in a haunted corn maze.
A hand grabbed mine, and I jerked back.
“It’s just me, Lily Bean,” Dylan said, laughing. “Don’t panic.”
“Oh, I’m going to panic, so just be prepared.” I squeezed his hand as tightly as I could. He clutched mine back.
Three hanging witches swung out at us at the end of the entrance, one with a bloodied broken neck and the other a knife to her chest.
“They had crappy days, didn’t they?” Belle asked.
“Looks like it to me,” Matthew said.
An icy fog crept up from the ground, and several zombies walked by munching on raw pieces of meat, or at least they appeared to be fresh pieces of meat. Belle asked for a bite, and one of the zombies growled at her. She snarled back.
Jason rushed by with a chainsaw, chasing a group of screaming teenage girls dressed in outfits similar to mine. One of the girls fell, and Jason yanked on the chainsaw cord right above her head. She screamed for her life, but he just laughed and ran away.
Something moved through the corn row beside us. I barely caught the movement, only seeing it out of the corner of my eye so I couldn’t recognize what it was, but I would have sworn it was a scarecrow. I waved my hand through the stalks, but nothing was there.
“What’re you doing?” Dylan asked.
“There’s someone in there, and I don’t want them jumping out at me.”
“That’s the fun of it all,” he said.
“Maybe for you but not for me.”
A scarecrow head rolled out from the stalks and landed at my feet. I jumped back, pressed my hand to my heart and screamed, “Oh my goodness!”
Belle fell to the ground in tears. It took her at least a full minute to stop laughing. When she stood, black eyeliner and blood red costume makeup dripped down her face. If she wasn’t a zombie it would have been a makeup nightmare but instead, it just accentuated her already nightmarish appearance.
“Thanks for your best frie
nd-like support.”
“Bless your heart, you’ve always been scared in this thing,” she said—through more laughter.
“Because it’s supposed to be scary.” I kicked the ominous stuffed head away from me. “Besides, look at that thing. It’s gruesome, admit it.”
Belle bent down and picked up the head. She held it up near my face, swinging it back and forth. “It’s going to get you while you’re sleeping.”
“Ew.” I cringed. “Stop it. That thing stinks.”
Matthew stepped backward. “She’s right. What’s wrong with it?”
Dylan leaned toward it and sniffed it. He took the head from Belle and examined it. “Someone put real deer blood on this thing.”
Belle glanced down at her hands. They were stained red. Her eyes bulged. “Oh gross.” She wiped them on her torn tights. “I’m going to be ill.” She spun around in a circle. “I need to wash my hands. This isn’t funny.”
Matthew pulled a bandana from his back pocket. “Here wipe them on here for now. That’s the best we can do until we’re out of this thing.”
“Come on.” Dylan moved along. “Let’s keep going.” He carried the scarecrow head with him. “Keep an eye out for the body this belongs to.”
“Wait.” I headed the opposite direction. “It came from there. Why don’t we go check?”
“Oh honey, if you think I’m walking through the corn rows without a path in the dark of the night you are two biscuits short of a dozen, let me tell you,” Belle said. “There is no way that’s happening.”
I put my hands on my hips and jutted one side out. “Who’s scared now?”
She pointed to her chest. “I’m not afraid to admit it. I’m sticking to the path. You go on and get all Children of the Corn if you want, but not me.”
“What if it’s like that other movie?” I joked.
“What other movie?” she asked.
“The one with the guy my mom likes. From that Hidden Figures movie, the boss.”
“That old guy? What movie?”
“I can’t remember the name. It was from a long time ago.” I struggled to remember the title. She used to make me watch it every time it came on one of the cable channels. “Something about a baseball field in Ohio maybe? He built it on his farm?”
The Scarecrow Snuff Out Page 2