by Jill Shalvis
“Easier said than done.”
“Know what you need? A ride.”
Her tummy quivered. “Is your house empty?”
He stared at her, then let out a low laugh. “I meant on the bike.”
Damn it. “I knew that.”
He shook his head and took her hand. “Let’s get out of here before I forget why we have to.”
“Yeah, about that…” She dragged her feet. “Kevin, what are we doing?”
“Getting some food, and hopefully some laughs while we’re at it. Sounds like we both need it.”
“I meant more generally than that.”
“I know. Just come out with me tonight. Let’s see where it goes. No plan, no media blitz, no campaign, no expectations.”
She had to smile. “Yeah, okay.”
They rode over the canyons toward the ocean, and as always the experience was both visceral and sensual, almost overwhelmingly so. Mia leaned into Kevin with every turn, her breath catching with wonder at how it felt to have such power between her legs, the utter exhilaration of being so exposed to the elements.
Not to mention the feel of the man she clung to. Every inch of her legs brushed his, his broad back making a perfect resting spot for her breasts and belly.
And, God, he smelled seriously dee-lish. It should be illegal to smell that good. The evening wind was warm from the long summer day, and the sound of it almost tuned out the rest of the world.
They ended up at a small outdoor café in Malibu, where they shared a finger salad and a huge club sandwich. With the ocean pounding the surf as the sun set, Mia sighed with an odd comfort. “Teaching seems like an odd vocation for a rebel,” she said and picked up an olive.
“A rebel.” He grinned. “You only say that because of the bike.”
“Yeah, I like the bike a lot,” she admitted. And the man on it…
He bit into his sandwich and, watching her, chewed thoughtfully. “If I’m a so-called rebel, it’s only because rules don’t seem to agree with me much. Or authority, for that matter.”
“But to be a teacher and not respect authority…”
“I didn’t say I didn’t respect it,” he said. “But I do believe in showing these kids, or people in general, that it’s okay to have your own thoughts, to do things your own way. As long as it’s legal,” he corrected and shook his head. “We’re still working on that in my classroom. And my house.”
“Yeah, about your brother. You two live together. Have you always?”
“Wait.” He cocked his head. “Was that…a personal question?”
She rolled her eyes. “Maybe. But it’s for Tess, not me. Are you two close?”
He smiled. “Better be careful there, you’re going to get to know me.”
“Funny,” she said. “Now answer the question. He’s had trouble keeping jobs.”
“Some.”
“So you help him out.”
“Yeah. People discriminate against him for his hearing loss, you know? He pretends it doesn’t matter, but it does. And, yeah, I help him out.”
“Does he appreciate it?”
“Sometimes.” He laughed roughly. “Actually, mostly no.”
“Ah. So you gather and collect the needy,” she said. “Whether they like it or not. Is that it?”
“No. That’s not it.” He stuffed another bite in, chewed some more. “Okay, maybe,” he conceded after swallowing. “Actually, we just fought about this very thing. About you, actually.”
She straightened in immediate defense mode. “Me? Why?”
“Mike thinks I tend to put people in my life that need fixing. People that don’t want to be fixed. Himself included.”
Mia connected the dots and felt a frown gather. “Well, he’s right there. I don’t want to be fixed, so don’t even try.”
He lifted his hands as if in surrender. “Wouldn’t even think of it.”
“Because we’re just…you know. Releasing steam.”
“Right.” He nodded sagely. “Nothing else. Not friendship, or affection, or more.”
Her breath caught, jammed in her throat. “Well, maybe a little bit of that.”
Leaning over, he pulled off her mirrored sunglasses.
“Hey,” she protested.
“The sun is down. Your retinas are no longer in danger.”
But what about her heart?
“That’s the first time you’ve admitted we’re more than bed partners. I wanted to see your eyes.”
Her stomach jangled. “I said a ‘little’ bit more. You heard that part, right?”
He laughed softly. “Were you always like this? So independent? So…closed off?”
“You think I’m closed off?”
“Definitely not in bed. But out of it, yeah.”
She stared at him, then looked away, where the waves hit the beach with a rhythm that soothed. “I have not been plied with enough alcohol for this.”
Without missing a beat, Kevin lifted a hand, gestured to the waitress for another beer.
When she brought it, Mia took a long sip and said, “I have no idea why my guard is always down around you.”
He smiled, looking quite pleased with himself. “I’ve worn you down.”
“This isn’t funny. I don’t like to think about my past, about where I came from.”
“Why?”
“Because it reminds me that I was once nothing. Less than nothing. It makes me feel vulnerable, like in a blink of fate I could find myself there again.”
“Seems to me, Mia, we make our own fate. You’ve certainly made yours. You know exactly who you are. No one can take that from you.”
But she didn’t know. Not that she could admit that. “I’m sorry.” She pushed away the beer. “I lied. I’m not ready to do this, not even with all the alcohol in the joint.”
Accepting this with his usual easy grace, he easily moved the conversation on, in no time enthralling her with the antics of his students, whether it be climbing out the windows or their fondness for the burners in the back of the classroom.
“Tell me it wasn’t Adam,” she said of his mysterious pot smoker.
Kevin shot her a long look.
“Shit. Why couldn’t it be someone nice and sweet lusting after Hope?”
“She’s smart, she’ll figure him out. There’s also another kid who likes her. The one I told you about, Cole.”
“Terrific.”
“Cole’s a good guy.”
He spoke quietly and from the heart. The kids meant a lot to him, all of them, she could tell. “I bet you’re amazing at what you do,” she said softly.
“The best,” he agreed and made her laugh. He did that a lot, she noted, and they continued to talk over ice cream, where she discovered he’d gone to UCLA as well.
“I went to junior college first,” he said. “And then into UCLA poorer than dirt.”
“I’ve been poorer than dirt,” she said without thinking and then stared at him. “There I go again. What is it about you that makes my mouth run?”
He just smiled and let her think about it. Afterward he paid for the bill even though she reached for it, and then took her hand to walk through the restaurant. She excused herself to go to the restroom, and when she came out, saw him waiting for her in the reception area, which had gotten crowded. He had his back to her and was talking to a tall, willowy, gorgeous blonde. The same one who’d been at the teen center, the one who’d practically screamed old money. As Mia moved closer she heard the woman say, “I’ve changed my wicked ways. I won’t leave claw marks this time, promise.”
Whoa.
“Beth.” Kevin let out a low laugh and shoved a hand through his hair, a gesture Mia recognized as discomfort. “I can’t.”
“What is it, another woman? Who could be more important than your ex-wife?”
Mia absorbed that with a little shock of jealousy, which was not only stupid, but made no sense. The ex. The one he’d married when he was eighteen. The one who’d broken his hear
t.
“The thing is,” Kevin said. “There’s an ex in ex-wife for a reason.”
“Damn it,” Blond Woman said. “Don’t give me that. We were kids and I was stupid. I want another shot at you.”
Mia would have given anything to see Kevin’s face. Did he want another chance, too?
And what would she do if he did?
She didn’t realize she was holding her breath until Kevin shook his head. “Beth—”
“Don’t tell me no.”
“I know the word is foreign to you, I know. But no. There’s someone else.”
“Ditch her.”
“Yeah.” Kevin laughed roughly. “Can’t do that.”
“Why not? You in love or something?”
At that, Mia laughed to herself. Love. Yeah, right. As if he’d fall in love with her.
But Kevin didn’t laugh. “Actually,” he said, his back still to Mia, “I don’t know yet.”
Mia gasped and Kevin whipped around to face her, and if Mia had thought she couldn’t breathe before, she was really screwed now. “I…have to go,” she said brilliantly.
“Mia.” He grimaced. “I—”
“No. Listen, I really have to go.”
“I think it was the L-word,” Beth told Kevin with a tsk. “She lost all her color at that, did you notice?”
“I—I’m sorry.” Mia couldn’t draw air into her taxed lungs. “I really have to go.”
“Yeah, that’s the classic kiss-off,” Beth said to Kevin helpfully.
“If you could just zip it for a minute,” he said.
Beth shrugged. “Sure. I’ll meet you in the bar when she’s done dumping you.”
Kevin ignored her and looked at Mia again, who swallowed hard.
“I’m not the falling-in-love sort of woman,” she whispered. “I don’t even get close enough to have this conversation. I don’t even like to repeat.”
“You repeated me.”
“I know, I just don’t know why.”
“Don’t you?”
“Look, I’m not good at sharing myself. In fact, I don’t share at all. I think I missed that day in kindergarten.”
“So what now then?” he asked. “Are you freaking out and walking away?”
“Oh, I’m freaking out.” She put a hand to her racing heart, looked at her legs. “But I don’t appear to be walking away.”
He let out a breath.
“Of course I can’t walk because my legs turned to rubber and I can’t feel my toes.”
At that, he smiled, the one that always made her feel everything was going to be okay, and reached for her hand. “How about we just take it one step at a time?”
She felt his long, strong fingers entwined with hers, and could suddenly breathe. “As long as you’re not in a hurry.”
“No hurry,” he promised. “Let’s get out of here?”
He took her to the beach, where they kicked off their shoes and let their toes sink into the sand, still warm from the sun of the day.
With her Choo’s dangling from her fingers, Mia stared out at the pounding surf. “I can feel my toes again.”
He smiled.
“What?”
“Nothing. You just said that with a very Southern accent, that’s all.”
Mia scrubbed a hand over her face.
“I like the sound of it.”
“It’s Tennessee. I’m Southern white trash from a single-wide stuffed to the gills with crap.”
“Tennessee is pretty. And there’s nothing wrong with living in a trailer, if that’s your life.”
“It was,” she said quietly. “For far too long. Hope feels the same. It’s why she’s here. I can’t believe she’s staying another month. God help the both of us.”
“It’ll be good.”
“Said the man who doesn’t have to listen to her music or live in fear of flipping on a light switch and having the doorbell go off instead.”
“Is it that bad?” he asked quietly.
She stared at him. Shook her head. “I hate that I waited sixteen years to get to know her,” she whispered. “But I wish like hell I could have eased into this instead of going from no contact to a full-time gig.”
“Well, that’s honest, at least.”
She let out a breath. “Yeah.”
“Put her in my science class. It’s where she wants to be anyway.”
Mia turned to him, took in the strong lines of his body and face, and felt some of her tension release. He wasn’t going to be scared off, as she might have been. He wasn’t going to do anything but accept her. The realization was like a breath of fresh air. “You’ll still add her?”
“I can’t wait to add her. She’s smart, Mia.” Kevin leaned in and touched his lips to hers, and she felt the shocking urge to cling. Cling. “And so are you,” he said. “You’ll both find the happy medium. If you want it.”
If she wanted it…If she wanted it…
He was still looking at her, and now he was closer than he’d been. Mia had no idea how badly she wanted his mouth on hers until he leaned in and gave her just that, put his warm, sexy lips to hers with a soft, low sound that scraped at her belly. His hands came up and cradled her face, his fingers sinking into her hair as the taste and smell of him surrounded her like the soft mist from the ocean at her back. The kiss seemed to flow all the way through her, along her veins, in time to the beat of her heart, much deeper than she’d imagined, igniting all sorts of sensations.
His fingers tightened on her, and he made a low, lost noise that had her pressing her body closer, closer still, hungry in a way she couldn’t remember feeling, hungry and needy. They kissed and kissed like that, until a wave splashed over their feet, making her gasp.
He pulled back and slowly opened his eyes, as if he needed a moment, and she knew the feeling. She put a hand on his jaw, mesmerized by him, pulled in by him like the gravitational pull of the tide.
“What was that for?” she whispered, her voice a little hoarse.
“To show you the happy medium. It’s right there, for the taking.”
The words haunted her on the long, lovely, dark ride home through the night while holding on to a warm, hard body she most definitely wanted next to hers.
Kevin enjoyed the ride as well, and especially the arms around him holding him tight. When he turned off the bike and pulled off his helmet, he turned to Mia. “Cold?”
“No.” Mia let out a long sigh that sounded blissful, and slowly, almost reluctantly it seemed, slipped her arms from around his middle—or maybe that was just wishful yearning on his part.
But slip away she did, pulling off the helmet, tossing back her hair. “I could do that every night.”
Worked for him.
“I hear you go out sometimes, you know. I lie in bed and think Lucky bastard.”
“Join me anytime.”
She handed him the helmet. “Anytime is a pretty wide-open invite.”
“I mean it.”
She didn’t respond to that, and he knew she was considering the offer, maybe putting it up against the other things he’d said tonight.
“Let me walk you inside,” he said and reached for her hand.
“Actually…” She met his gaze, her own steady and warming with each passing second. “I was thinking I’d walk you inside.”
She brushed her mouth over his jaw as he unlocked his front door. Then, when she followed him in, she turned to face him and fastened her mouth to his throat. “Your bike makes me hot,” she murmured between nibbles. She slid her arms around his neck and tugged his mouth to hers. “Hurry up and get your mouth on me.”
He couldn’t think when she looked at him like that, like she was already halfway to orgasmic bliss and only he could get her the rest of the way. To slow her down, he captured her hands and held her arms out to her sides.
“Kevin? What are you doing?”
“Looking at you.” Her work clothes fascinated him, but tonight she wore tight black jeans and a long, sleeveless
black-and-silvery sheer tunic sort of thing, with a black camisole beneath. He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her. He pulled off the tunic while she tugged his light jacket off his shoulders, gliding her hands beneath his shirt, shoving it up to put her mouth on his pec, making his muscles jump and quiver as she spread hot, open-mouthed kisses across his chest. “God. Why are you wearing so many clothes?”
With all the blood in his brain draining south for the cause, he couldn’t talk. He reached for her instead, but his arms caught at his side, trapped in the jacket hanging at his elbows. “Damn it.”
She let out a breathless laugh and popped open his Levi’s. “I love your body. I could just eat you up. How did you get to be so gorgeous?”
Flapping his arms, he let the jacket fall off. Then he tore off his shirt and made the same haste with hers. One quick tug had her camisole to her waist, her breasts free. He filled his hands with them while she kicked off her heels. “My jeans,” she said breathlessly. “Hurry.”
In a blink, he had her jeans off, his down, and a condom on. Whipping them around, he pressed her back against the door and lifted her up, wrapping her legs around him. “Hold on,” he demanded and thrust into her, her soft cry mingling with his low groan. It was all he could do to hold them upright. He had no idea how he could need her this way, crave her like water, but somehow she filled him, just as he now filled her.
As if she felt the same, she stared into his eyes as she held on tight, allowing him to see her, the hunger, the want, the need, the affection, all of it, and it staggered him.
In that moment, something within him shifted, changed. Fell. It was as if he could see, for that one beat, every bit of her, all the way to her heart and soul. She was accepting him, maybe for the first time, wanting him, letting him in. He almost lost it on that alone because, though he’d wanted this very thing from her, he hadn’t been sure she had it to give. Throat thick, he touched his forehead to hers.
“Please,” she whispered, gliding her hands up his back.
Yeah, I’ll please, he thought and began to move, thrusting in and out until she shattered in his arms, eyes glazed but open on his, mouth trembling as his name tumbled with shock from her lips. He lasted another whole big whopping two seconds before he let himself go as well. His knees buckled as he shuddered into his powerful climax, and he took them both down to the floor. “Jesus,” he breathed, then murmured it again on a shaky sigh, brushing his lips over her hair. “You’re going to kill me,” he said.