by Robin Roseau
“I imagine not,” said the abbess. “How soon should I bring them back to you?”
“When they ask,” she replied. She smiled again. “If they ask.”
I gave a hug to the abbess, made sure she knew she could come see me again if she wished, even just to talk, and told her I’d be visiting her abbey as soon as I could find room in my schedule. “Tell the next to give us a few minutes, though.”
As soon as she was gone, I turned to the Goddess. “Was that extreme?”
“Perhaps,” she replied. “They will fight. Two people forced to share company like that will fight. But they are going to learn something, too.”
“Oh?”
“They’re going to learn how good it feels to be nice to the other one.”
I laughed.
“I doubt they’ll ask me to remove the bond. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this, and no one has asked yet.”
“Will they become lovers?”
“Almost certainly. But watch them. They don’t just feel the joy and pain they offer each other. They feel everything. If one has an itch, the other will know. Watch.”
And so, for the rest of my visit, I did just that. The two were together every time I saw them, and the only difference was which pair of hands they were holding. They could switch, any time they liked, but they were always holding hands. And one day over lunch I saw Rastari reach over and gently scratch Taratartalia’s nose, and later, Taratartalia was scratching Rastari’s back. By the time I left, they were offering other sorts of comfort to each other, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out they had become lovers.
I didn’t check my link with them to be sure.
* * * *
She led me back to the library after lunch, posting Naddí and Féla outside if we needed errands run. We sat down facing each other, touching, always she was touching me.
“I wish to talk about Ralalta and Larien.”
“Larien lied to us,” I said. “And she is at least partly complicit in how I came here. Do you know about that?”
“Not all of it. Tell me. Everything, from when you believe it began until I claimed you.”
So I did. It took time. She knew much, but she didn’t remotely know all of it. When finally I finished, she said, “I should have asked when you were here before, but I was focused on fixing the mess and claiming you, and that’s as far as I thought you were ready.”
“I think you’re right.”
“So Ralalta remains angry with Larien and others, but Larien is close at hand, and the others are not.”
“Yes.”
“You have forgiven her, though.”
“Yes, but Ralalta hasn’t, and I don’t think she’s going to. Prestainamatta, I’m scared. I can’t let her prosecute one of our priestesses.”
“No. I certainly cannot allow that, but we must have healing.”
“I don’t think Larien did anything illegal, but I am convinced she knew of the plans, and I believe she knew of the plans even when we were writing letters, as she attempted to lure me to Alteara. But Prestainamatta, I had to come.”
“And they should have said the truth. Queen Ralalta would have been understanding. You might not have believed, but we would have reached a solution.”
“I’d have agreed to grow my hair, at the least, and then to come here, at least to visit, to see if you showed yourself to me.”
“It would have taken longer,” said the Goddess. “But what was done was a mistake.”
“It’s because my mother wasn’t here to guide them, isn’t it?”
“Partly. They grew desperate, for all the reasons you know. This is what I want you to do.”
We talked. And we talked. And then she said, “Yalla, trouble is coming. Serious trouble. You wonder what I am doing? You wonder why I sent your mother away to make you? It is because I need you. Not just a high priestess. And not your mother. I need you, a girl of The Arrlotta, a woman of Framara, and a High Priestess of Alteara. I need you, with your delightful titles and your gift of horses. I need Framara and Alteara to be friends, and more than friends. Trouble is coming, and if the two countries do not stand together, supporting me, both countries will fall, and I will be destroyed.”
Conversation With The Goddess
I sobbed, beginning immediately. She held me tightly, crooning to me, rocking me, assuring me the danger was clear to her, and she intended to win.
“Juleena and Ralalta must accept me into their hearts,” she whispered. “And it cannot be out of fear. It must be from joy. Yalla, you cannot tell them this part. You must bring them to me from joy and love and serenity and trust. Their love is a gift given, a gift received. It is not a bargain for security. Do you see?”
“How?” I stammered.
“We have time. The danger is not close. It may not arrive for a decade or three. There will be forays against me, but only to test us. These we can handle. Yalla, everything else you do here is important, but it is nothing compared to bringing Ralalta and Juleena to me. Do you see?”
“Did you make Juleena pick me?”
“No, but I influenced her. It was enough.”
“Did you make her be less jealous?”
“Oh, now that I definitely did. She was in the Heart of the Goddess, and she struck one of my priestesses. And she is devoted to you, so that made it easier. She is not a true enemy, so I could work a subtle magic.”
I smiled weakly. “There’s a problem though. I’ll need to tell Alta ‘no’.”
“To what?”
I told her about the petition. She smiled, then smiled more broadly. “No. You are going to invite Alta into your household as a friend. And then when you speak with Ralalta, this is what you will say.”
And then the Goddess set a spell into me, one not yet triggered, and taught me how to trigger it.
* * * *
We sent Naddí for Alta. When she arrived, I brushed cheeks with her and pointed her to a chair. I handed her back her petition, and her face fell.
“Wait,” I said. “Just listen.”
And then I told her what the Goddess wanted. Alta was smiling, nodding, and crying, all at once, long before we were over.
“Thank you,” she said over and over when we were done. “Yes.” Then she rushed over and hugged me tightly. “Thank you.”
“For now, friends,” I said. “A member of my household. I need your advice and help on so many matters, and your company, and that is entirely true.”
“And what of the others?” she asked.
I translated that for the Goddess, who understood before I did. She began laughing. “Find joy,” she responded. “I can imagine none with more joy to share than those four.”
After that we discussed the other petition. The Goddess listened and then said, “I am returning to Lopéna with you. We will discuss this with the entire royal family.”
* * * *
“You said something about a statue, and you wished to speak further.”
“Oh.” I told her about the artist, and what I wanted to do. “But-“
“But?”
“I was going to use the funds for things like helping Martí. If the order doesn’t have enough funds for her stipend with her man, then I will supplement that.”
“Oh, the order has funds,” she replied. “But I know you have other things you wish to do. I believe you should build this household as you feel best. I will tell you if I am displeased.”
I smiled.
* * * *
We discussed my magical training. “Continue what you are doing for now,” she said. “Grow more comfortable. We’ll wait another year or two before we begin real training, and I will do it myself.”
And then my stomach growled.
* * * *
For the next two weeks, my days were like that first day. We prepared for the solstice celebration. I accepted duties and training as they came to me. I helped with conversations, and then more conversations as the rest of the incoming pri
estesses arrived.
I talked to everyone. I hugged everyone. I offered affection to everyone.
And the Goddess rarely left me. She rarely even stopped touching me. She let me sleep, but I think even then she stayed with me, as she was always there whenever I woke, regardless of the time.
I felt warm and safe and very, very loved.
I saw Juleena, but not often. We went riding together a few times, the Goddess and my household joining us. Juleena and I exchanged hugs and kisses, but we had no time alone. I felt bad about that, but Juleena assured me she was fine.
I didn’t think she was.
She and the Goddess held conversations. Terél and Naddí both helped at times, although Juleena’s Altearan was improving. Alta joined some of them, and then later I learned Juleena and Alta were spending time together, too.
That was good.
Vérundia, the Goddess, and I talked to Ullaméistra. She was surprised we asked her but said, “Of course I will see to the needs of the Heart of the Goddess while Vérundia is away, as long as you promise this is temporary.”
We transitioned to three tables at dinner, and then four, and then five long tables, three filled with my priestesses. I rotated my seat between them and talked to everyone I could. The Goddess sat beside me during meals, insisting we eat as we normally would, but not wanting to be away from me even for a meal.
And then the solstice arrived. The celebration was very similar to the summer solstice celebration, with only a difference in speeches. But this time, the Goddess was in attendance the entire time, sharing her joy with us all. Alta held a position at the altar, and she cried with joy as much as any of us did.
Later that evening, I was quiet, and finally the Goddess asked me, “What is wrong?”
“I wish Juleena could have attended.”
“She must accept me to her heart.”
“If she felt your love, she would have little choice.”
“If she felt my love before accepting me, it is not true acceptance. She must come to me of her own desire, a desire to love me, not only a desire to be with you. It is important we do it this way, Yalla. I want you to offer to teach her of me, but only offer.”
“Yes, Prestainamatta.”
* * * *
We stayed another week, and then it was time to leave.
Hunting
As planned, we did not travel directly to Lopéna. Instead, the day before our departure, we invited everyone who would travel with us, including Juleena and our honor guard, both Framaran and Altearan, to the dining hall. We told them what had happened, and what we would do about it.
“Princess Juleena and Princess Lásenalta,” said the Goddess. “Can you share leadership of this expedition?”
I think that surprised both of them, but they agreed immediately.
“Princess Alta, if Princess Juleena issues an order to an Altearan soldier, I want it followed. Princess Juleena, if Princess Lásenalta issues an order to a Framaran soldier, I want it followed.”
The two exchanged looks and nodded, and then turned to the respective guard captains. There was a quiet discussion, and neither captain was pleased, but agreement went down through the ranks.
“We will not face true opposition,” said the Goddess. “But we do not know the extent of the rot. A force this size will not be challenged, but I trust our honor guards to take caution. I expect our priestesses to allow their protection.”
We all agreed we would.
There were other things to discuss, and then we shared a meal. The Goddess then said, “The guards may prepare our departure. Princesses, please remain.”
Soon we were a much smaller group: the Goddess of course, my entire household and the other priestesses that would travel with us, and both princesses. As soon as we sat back down, and after ensuring no one else was lingering, Alta said, “I have never in my life led a military force.”
“I have,” Juleena said. “But I cannot operate inside Alteara without you.”
The Goddess waited for translation and then said, “And this is why they are co-leaders. Lásenalta, you must learn as much from Juleena as you can. From this moment forth, I wish you to do your best to speak only Framaran.”
“My Framaran poor,” she said in that language.
“Which is why you will practice,” the Goddess said. Yes, after I translated. “Juleena, Altearan.”
“My Altearan is not good,” she said in that language. “I will do best.”
“In the future, if possible,” said the Goddess, “anyone serving as honor guard to my High Priestess should speak both languages.”
“I will pay for tutors if necessary,” I added to the end of the translation.
“Good. Are there other concerns?”
“Two,” said Juleena. “How will we find them? And what do we do when we catch them?”
“I will find them,” said the Goddess. “And we will deliver them to the king and queen for justice.”
We left early the next morning.
* * * *
Travel was slow. The road to Veresta was poor and in places, the snow was deep. The Altearans used clever sleighs that rode across the top of the snow for those who were uncomfortable atop a mount in the winter. I rode, of course, but the members of my household preferred the sleighs. But unlike the wagons, that liked to break, the sleighs rode well, and so we did not come to unplanned stops very often.
Hálameenisha did not think she could find the exact place she was attacked, especially as it had happened before there was snow. However, she was able to direct us to the home of the farmer who had found her, just outside Veresta, and so on an early afternoon, ten days after leaving the Heart of the Goddess, our combined troop rode into the farmyard of a very surprised farmer and her family.
The first to notice us were, unsurprising, the farmyard dogs, who set up a fuss. It was a boy of ten and six years who stepped out of a barn to hush the dogs, then saw our large troop. He ducked back into the barn before we could even talk to him.
But he reappeared with an older brother and a woman who was probably their mother, and the three of them approached cautiously.
The Goddess and I had already climbed from our mounts. Some of the guard took the reins, and then Juleena and Alta were beside us.
“That’s her,” Hálameenisha said. “She’s the one who helped me.”
The three came to a stop, a dozen paces from us. “Can we help you?”
That was when I pushed back my hood. “I am the High Priestess to the Goddess Yahamala,” I said loudly. “You recently came to the aid of one of our priestesses.” I gestured, and Hálameenisha approached, pushing back her own hood. “The Goddess and I are here to thank you ourselves, and to ask one more favor of you.”
“The Goddess is here?” the woman asked. “Here, on my farm.”
“She is here,” I said with a gesture. “I will now repeat her words.”
The Goddess spoke briefly, offering thanks and gratitude. The woman would have dropped to her knees, but Juleena and Alta stopped her. And then, when I was done translating, I hugged the woman tightly.
“Thank you,” I said.
“I only did what anyone would have done,” she said.
“But it was you who did it,” I replied. “And for that, you have our gratitude.”
At that, the Goddess stepped beside me and set her hands on me. “Brush her face slowly,” she said. “Her eyes. She is half blind.”
“What is your name?” I asked the woman.
“Jamaraíesta,” she replied. “My family calls me Esta.”
“Esta, I hope you don’t mind if I act as family. You may call me Yalla. I want you to close your eyes. I am going to touch you.”
She didn’t even hesitate, and just her trust was heartening. I began to gently caress her face and over her eyes, and I felt the Goddess working through me.
“Oh,” said Esta. “It tingles.”
“Keep your eyes closed,” I replied, and continued to
caress, gently with the tips of my fingertips.
Then the Goddess withdrew from me. I leaned forward and kissed each of Esta’s eyes and then said, “Open them, but slowly, and perhaps shade them from the light for a moment.”
She did as I asked, and then slowly removed her hand. Her jaw dropped open. “Oh,” she said. “Oh. It has been so long.” She looked around, and then she reached over to one of her sons and swatted him with the back of her hand. “Why didn’t you tell me the house needed paint?”
* * * *
Esta led us to where she had found Hálameenisha. “It was here, I think. I was returning from the market in Menoshídi, and it was just after the rise.” She looked around. “She was lying there, I think. I didn’t see her, of course. Those foul creatures had pulled her off the road. But I heard her call out, and then I found her.”
The Goddess stepped to me. “And now, Yalla, you are to see why the Heart of the Heart looks as it does. Come with me and bring Hálameenisha. Everyone else remain here on the road.”
We collected Hálameenisha, and then the Goddess, touching Hálameenisha the entire time, walked through the deep snow alongside the road. And she was right. Something about her was different. She had edges where before she was round and soft, and yet nothing seemed different at the same time. If I were to make a statue of her, it would be the same statue as the last one. But yet she was different.
It took ten minutes before the Goddess asked, “Could it have been here?”
“I don’t know, Prestainamatta,” Hálameenisha answered. “I am sorry.”
“Ask the farmer,” the Goddess ordered. So I called out and did so.
“Maybe,” she called back. “It looks different. I think so.”
The Goddess nodded. And then she turned a slow circle, and then another, and then a third. “Return us to the road,” she told me. “And then I need the princesses and captains.”
We picked our way back. I sent Hálameenisha away and called out for Juleena and the others. We made a small circle of six, perhaps thirty yards from the rest of our group.
“I have their scent,” said the Goddess. “There are six, not four. Three women and three men. They are fifteen miles in that direction.” She pointed.