Since she had stormed out of the bedroom four nights ago, it seemed they weren’t quite sure how to treat her, and it broke her heart. After Josiah had left and she had finished crying, she’d gone back into the house only to find Lily and Poppy sitting at the kitchen table with Aunt Bitsy.
She had walked right past them without a word, gone up to their room, and pretended to be asleep. They hadn’t tried to get her to talk, then or since. If her sisters had decided they didn’t love her anymore, she completely deserved it. She had hurt them very badly when they were only trying to be kind to her. Since she refused to let them take care of her, they didn’t know what to do with her or how to fit her into their lives. The truth was, someone as selfish and spoiled as Rose didn’t fit into their lives.
She had never felt so alone.
Rose hated herself for hurting them, but she couldn’t bear to let anyone give up one more thing for her, and she couldn’t bear that anyone might get hurt.
Not her sisters. Not Josiah Yoder.
The night after she had ordered him off their porch, Josiah had returned with Dan and Luke to paint the back of the barn. She had stayed shut up in the house, and he hadn’t even tried to see her. She had watched him leave from one of the upstairs windows while Dan and Luke came in for ice cream. Ach, could anyone be crueler than she was?
She bit down on her tongue to keep the tears from flowing. She would not think about Josiah. It was hard enough to keep her composure with her sisters this close.
Lily scraped some of the extra cream from the bowl and licked it off her finger. “It’s so smooth, Rose. The best you’ve made yet.”
“Denki,” Rose said, flashing Lily a half smile. Lily didn’t see it because she quickly turned away to put the dirty bowl in the sink.
Aunt Bitsy came in from outside with her shotgun. She didn’t venture out without it anymore, and she always took the extra precaution of taking Billy Idol with her. Billy Idol was tough, but he wasn’t quite as threatening as a shotgun. Leonard Nimoy frolicked into the room as if Aunt Bitsy had just taken her on a grand adventure. Billy Idol came in scowling and hissing. He would have made any watchdog proud.
Rose bit her lip. The shotgun, the somber looks, her unhappy family were all because of her. All this trouble and worry was about her. Rose’s throat swelled up, and a weight the size of a buggy pressed against her chest.
What could she do? Every dream was a nightmare. Every day felt as if she were marching closer and closer to some terrible event, and she had no one to turn to. She didn’t want to turn to anyone. No one must be in danger but her, but the possibility of danger was terrifying.
Aunt Bitsy rested her shotgun against the wall. “Dan and Luke must think we don’t have anything better to do than entertain them.”
Lily’s head snapped up, and it was the first time Rose had seen her smile all day. “They’re here?”
Aunt Bitsy grunted. “An hour early. Nobody likes guests an hour early. Have they forgotten their manners?”
“I don’t mind if they’re here early,” Lily said.
Aunt Bitsy shrugged. “It just gives Luke more time to eat us out of house and home.”
Poppy beamed. “I know. Isn’t he adorable?”
Aunt Bitsy opened the door before they could knock.
Luke and Dan came into the room as if they were family, which they were. Both of their gazes immediately settled on Rose, disquiet gleaming in their eyes. They were friends with Josiah and no doubt fully aware of how horribly Rose had treated him. Dan and Luke were both too kind to scold Rose, but they were probably wishing they could.
“If you come early, you have to help with dinner,” Aunt Bitsy said.
“I don’t cook,” Luke said, winking at Poppy. “It’s women’s work.”
Aunt Bitsy didn’t take Luke’s bait. She was getting soft. “You eat more than your fair share, and Poppy has a broken hand. You’re cooking whether you want to or not.”
Although Rose felt alone and vulnerable and frightened out of her wits, she wouldn’t have reconsidered Lily’s suggestion of postponing the wedding for the world. Lily lit up like a propane lantern whenever Dan was near, and Poppy was like a Fourth of July fireworks show. Rose would never be the one to separate her sisters from the boys they loved, no matter how devastated she would be when they left.
For some silly reason, Josiah, with his dark auburn hair and blue eyes came to her mind. Seeing him was like watching the sun rise, and sometimes she felt the fireworks when he smiled at her. Was Josiah her Dan?
Not anymore. The heaviness in her chest thickened like ice on the lake in January. She would never forget the sound of his voice when she had told him to go away. It was as if he would never find happiness again. She’d been mean and adamant—for his own good. But Josiah hadn’t seen it that way. She had proven a disappointment to him after all, and for sure and certain he wouldn’t be coming back.
A sob tried to claw its way out of her throat, but she swallowed hard and bit her tongue. She would draw blood if she let Josiah linger in her thoughts any longer. She turned the cake plate around and around. Their Bienenstich cake looked very pretty. Maybe Poppy and Lily would want to serve it to their fiancés instead of taking it to the Millers.
“Is that cake for me?” Luke said, losing his grim look and grinning at Rose like an affectionate big brother. “You shouldn’t have.” He reached out to take a sample of Lily’s almond topping.
“It’s for Eli Miller,” Poppy said, giving Luke’s hand a swat with a wooden spoon. “He had bunion surgery yesterday.”
Luke’s eyes widened in disgust. “Bunion surgery? Your fiancé is less important than bunion surgery?”
“Jah,” Poppy said. “And don’t you forget it.”
Dan followed Lily to the sink, where they both washed their hands. “What am I making for dinner?” he said, flicking some water on Lily.
Lily let out a little squeak and threw a towel at Dan. “Rose baked a pizza crust. We’re having cold chicken bacon ranch pizza.”
Dan gave Rose a smile. “Denki, Rose. I could eat your pizza crust plain, and it would be a fine dinner.”
Rose held perfectly still. If she tried to form her lips into a smile, she might just burst into tears. Lily and Poppy were as happy as she was miserable, and they were happier without her.
“Cum, Rose,” Lily said, eyeing her doubtfully. “You spread the ranch dressing while Dan and I cut chicken.”
Rose very nearly turned and ran up the stairs and fled to the safety of her room, but that would leave Luke to spread the dressing, and he wasn’t even good at pouring water. For the sake of the pizza, she’d have to bite back the tears for a few minutes longer.
Poppy handed Luke some plates. He stared at them as if he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Poppy rolled her eyes, and he cracked a smile. “Okay. Fine then. I will set the table, but only because I’m hungry. Remember my willingness when you consider giving that cake to Eli Miller. I’ll bet he doesn’t set the table for his wife.”
Poppy grinned. “He can’t. He just had bunion surgery.”
Rose spread the dressing, and Dan helped her sprinkle chicken and bacon and cheese while Lily made a salad. Rose set the pizza on the table and turned to see Poppy and Luke with their heads together, whispering and looking in her direction.
A shard of ice pierced her heart. Ach, du lieva, they were whispering about her. She didn’t even belong in the family anymore.
When Luke and Poppy had gotten engaged, Rose had surrendered her place at the table to Luke and moved to the end of the table opposite Aunt Bitsy. Before today, it hadn’t hurt so bad to give up her seat. Today it was as if she sat on the outer edges of everyone else’s life, looking in on their happiness.
Lily put her arm around Rose. “Cum, Rosie. Sit by me this time.”
What was wrong with her? How silly she was to feel sorry for herself. “You should sit by Dan.”
“I’ll have many years to sit by Dan after we’re
married,” Lily said. “I want to sit by you.”
Rose looked at the lonely chair at the end of the table. One of the slats had a strand of duct tape wrapped around it. Her heart flipped like a pancake. Josiah had fixed that chair. She gave Lily a half smile and squeezed her hand. “I don’t mind.”
Lily pursed her lips but didn’t argue.
They sat down, Rose in her duct-taped chair, and took hands for Aunt Bitsy’s prayer.
“Dear Lord,” Aunt Bitsy began. “I am going to bless the food first, because I always forget. Please bless the food and make us grateful for it. Amen.” She growled and bowed her head again. “Lord, I forgot all the other stuff I was going to say. We are a little nervous about people making trouble on our farm. They seem to be picking on Rose specifically, and I won’t stand for that. Please will You give one of them a bladder infection and the other the measles, or whatever You see fit. And Lord, I’m still waiting for that dose of humility for Luke Bontrager, if You’re not too busy. Amen.”
Luke leaned back in his chair and smiled. “How can I be humble when I have the prettiest fiancée a boy could ask for?” He nodded at Lily. “No offense to you.”
“No offense taken,” Lily said. “Rose and Poppy are both far prettier than I am.”
Aunt Bitsy shook her head adamantly. “All you girls are as unique as the flowers on our farm. The bees like them all. There isn’t a prettiest one.”
Dan winked at Lily. “I am partial to lilies.”
Josiah had winked at Rose like that once. She lowered her eyes and stared at her napkin. Luke had obviously set the table. Her napkin was crinkled and bent as if someone had made an attempt to fold it and given up. Her thoughts wandered down the lane to Josiah’s little house and pumpkin patch. She had sent him away to keep him safe, but she couldn’t have felt worse about it. She hated the thought of Josiah all alone in that house with no one but Honey the dog to comfort him.
Dan seemed a little sad tonight. Rose frowned. Dan was never sad. “Josiah has a whole garden full of roses,” he said.
Rose tried to ignore the butterflies that came to life in her stomach. She had seen the rose garden. Josiah had taken her there. Her chair creaked as she leaned back and wiped her mouth with her napkin.
Luke smirked. “I can take that chair to my shop tonight and make a new slat. Josiah shouldn’t be allowed near a roll of duct tape ever again.”
Rose frowned. “Please don’t fix it.”
Luke eyed her doubtfully. “It looks a little ragged. Are you sure?”
“Josiah has a gute heart and wanted to fix it, even if he didn’t know how. He did the best he could.” Her voice cracked, and her heart suddenly broke for Josiah and the man he was trying to be. He didn’t always do it right, but he did it with great enthusiasm. “It’s perfect the way it is.”
Poppy gazed at Rose and pursed her lips. She nudged Luke’s arm with her elbow. “Tell her, Luke.”
Luke looked from Poppy to Rose to Dan, and back again.
“Tell her,” Poppy insisted, between gritted teeth.
Luke was stubborn and+e with Rose. She liked that about him, even if she knew he was doing it on purpose. He was also protective and strong, and he loved Poppy. Rose adored him for how happy he made her sister. He placed his hand on Rose’s arm. “Carl Poulson drove us to Wallsby this morning. Josiah came with us.”
She didn’t know if her heart beat faster at the thought of Josiah or the thought of La Wayne Zook and his angry family.
“We wanted to find out about La Wayne Zook,” Dan said.
There was a long pause. Everyone looked to Rose, waiting for her reaction. She fidgeted with her crinkly napkin and tried not to seem distressed. “And . . . what did you find out?”
“We met La Wayne’s cousin Matthew, who told us that La Wayne’s wife left Wallsby while La Wayne was in prison,” Luke said.
Another pause as they stared at Rose, no doubt making sure that this information didn’t make her faint. She tried to ignore the panic rising in her chest and did her best to look interested but not terrified enough to need medical attention. “Where did she go?”
“She left the church and got a divorce.”
Rose held her breath so a moan would not have the chance to escape. Divorce meant excommunication and shunning.
Luke reached out and wrapped his fingers around Rose’s wrist. “Do you know how many times one of his seven children was in the hospital before he pushed you, Rose?”
She shook her head.
The muscles of Luke’s jaw twitched. “Twelve.”
Dan leaned in, and everyone else seemed to lean in too, as if he were telling a great secret that the cats weren’t allowed to hear. “Matthew’s wife, Erna, and La-Wayne’s wife, Martha, were very close. Martha didn’t want her children to grow up like that. The elders had tried several times to call La Wayne to repentance. Before she left for good, the ministers took Martha and the children out of the home twice.”
“But La Wayne would not stop drinking,” Luke said, his eyes flashing with anger. He did not look kindly on anyone who hurt a child. “When La Wayne went to prison, it gave Martha the opportunity to escape.”
Poppy’s expression was soft. “Don’t you see, Rose? Because of you, Martha got her chance to leave.”
“But she left the church,” Rose said.
“That wasn’t your fault any more than La Wayne’s drinking was,” Luke said. “He died three months ago of cirrhosis.”
“What is cirrhosis?” Poppy said.
“It’s a liver disease from drinking alcohol,” Dan said. “La Wayne couldn’t stop drinking, even when he got out of prison and moved back to Wallsby. His death is no one’s fault but his own.”
Aunt Bitsy laced her fingers together. “But someone is mad at Rose.”
Dan slumped his shoulders. “Or maybe La Wayne’s death has nothing to do with what’s happening on the farm.”
Aunt Bitsy shook her head. “Too much of a coincidence. And coincidences are only for those who don’t believe in Gotte.”
Rose’s throat tightened. “So this is Gotte’s will?”
“Nae, baby sister. Gotte is leading us to the troublemakers.”
“What about La Wayne’s children?” Poppy said.
Luke fingered the stubble on his chin. “Matthew says they all came back for the funeral, but none of them live in Wallsby anymore.”
“Maybe one of them lives too close,” Aunt Bitsy said.
“Matthew said he would try to find out where all the children are scattered. At least three are still living at home with Martha.”
Once again, they turned in unison to stare at Rose. She clasped her hands together so they wouldn’t see the trembling. If they wanted some sort of reassurance from her that she would be all right, they wouldn’t get it. There wasn’t room in her heart for despair or hope. She could only feel the fear.
Dan nodded. “We will find them.”
“And what will you do when they are found?” Rose said, gripping her fork until her hand stiffened.
“Luke is strong and I’m fast, and Josiah is determined,” Dan said, glancing at Rose when he mentioned Josiah. She didn’t even flinch. “But none of us is foolish enough to try to catch a troublemaker. We’ll leave that to the sheriff.”
“If he is in the mood to answer his phone,” Aunt Bitsy said. “I’ve stopped calling him four or five times a day.”
Poppy widened her eyes. “Four or five times a day?”
Aunt Bitsy huffed in irritation. “I only call him once a day now. Surely he has time to talk to me once a day. All he does is chase runaway cows and shovel roadkill off the highway.”
Rose couldn’t school her expression well enough to fool anybody, let alone her perceptive sisters. “It’s going to be okay, Rosie,” Lily said. “I promise we will not let anything happen to you.”
“We all want to keep you safe,” Dan said. “And I want to protect my fiancée.”
Rose closed her eyes and willed th
e ache of fear to subside. “I can take care of myself.” They could probably tell she was lying when she burst into tears. Lily and Poppy jumped from their seats and were immediately at Rose’s side with their arms around her. She felt ashamed and relieved at the same time. “I hate being a burden.”
Lily knelt next to Rose’s chair and took her hand. “Rose, we’ve been trying to tell you. You are anything but a burden.”
“But everything you do is for me.”
Lily shook her head. “And everything you do is for us. You paint hives, you mop floors, you bake eats for every gathering. You were the one who always made me feel better when I got teased at school. You stay up late at night and let us talk about our boyfriends.”
Dan’s face lit up. “You talk about us?”
Luke laced his fingers together and put them behind his head. “Poppy thinks I’m adorable.”
Aunt Bitsy snorted. “You’re not even a penny’s worth of adorable. Don’t get cocky.”
“I can’t let you sacrifice your lives for me,” Rose said through her tears.
Poppy smoothed a piece of hair from Rose’s cheek. “Then won’t you just let us be your sisters?”
“That’s what I want most in the world,” Rose said. She wasn’t altogether sure they understood. She was sobbing pretty hard.
Lily squeezed her hand. “Then let’s just be sisters and do what we’ve always done—stick together and take care of each other.”
“We are all in the same boat,” Aunt Bitsy said. “Even Luke. The hand cannot say to the foot, I have no need of thee.”
Rose wiped her eyes. “I need my sisters.”
“And we need you,” Poppy said.
It was amazing how much heartache and loneliness could be washed away by the unconditional love of a sister. Rose was doubly blessed.
After a long, bracing hug, Lily and Poppy sat back down in their seats, and Rose regained enough composure to carry on a conversation. She needed to tell Luke and Dan how much she appreciated them. She managed a smile. “Denki for going to Wallsby. At least we know more than we did.”
“We spent three hours there this morning,” Dan said. He again glanced doubtfully from Rose to Luke to Lily. “And then we took Josiah to the hospital.”
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