“He didn’t have to offer,” she pointed out. “He could have just let you walk home. Plus . . .” Her eyes lit up. “He came straight over here once the game was over, which means he had to have noticed you during the game.”
“So?”
“So?” she repeated indignantly. “Look how many people are here.”
I obliged her by glancing around at the dispersing fans. There were a lot.
“He picked you out in a big crowd,” Jen concluded, “in the middle of a game. If you ask me, I think that means he was looking for you.”
“I’m not asking.” Though I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right.
Two weeks ago, I would have said she was crazy to suggest such a thing. I would have kicked myself for entertaining the possibility. But after that kiss . . .
Maybe. A big maybe, especially considering his lack of reaction to it the next day, but a maybe.
A few drops of rain sprinkled my face by the time we reached the parking lot. Parents and students were already climbing into their vehicles, in a hurry to avoid the impending shower. I searched the occupied spaces for the familiar red truck, and finally spotted it near the school.
“It figures he would get the most convenient parking spot,” I grumbled as we approached it. Right outside the rear entrance to the school. Almost as if he’d checked the weather report, and knew he would be running to his truck in the rain after the game.
God forbid he got his hair wet.
I wondered what he meant by his comment about my hair. I hated the way it got all curly when it was wet. Actually, that’s not a bad thing. Did that mean he actually liked my hair like that?
“Ana?”
I glanced up at Jen. She was standing beside me, on the passenger side of the truck, waiting for something. Waiting for me, I realized too late. Because my hand was holding the key to the lock, but I hadn’t opened the door yet.
See? Thinking too much . . . and I wasn’t even grounded anymore. Look at what that punishment started.
I slid the key in, and started to open the door when she stopped me.
“Ana,” she said slowly, like she was repeating herself, “I said I’m going to get a ride with Cindy.”
I followed her outstretched hand to a car a few spots away, where a girl I vaguely recognized was patiently waiting by the open driver’s side door.
“And you . . .” She tapped her finger to my forehead. “Get out of your head. Enjoy a few minutes alone with the school’s most eligible bachelor. Kiss him again, for all I care, but this time, I want to hear about it right after. Got it?”
“Oh, my God. Really, Jen?”
She backed away with a big smile. “I’m dead serious. Now go!”
She darted off to jump into Cindy’s car, and I was left standing beside Ben’s truck alone. I glanced worriedly at the sky. Fearing I didn’t have much time before I got drenched, I hurried around the truck to the driver’s side door to unlock it. I barely had the door open when I was shoved into it by a heavily thrown shoulder. I spun around to find Tracy Ryder’s eyes slicing into me.
“What are you doing with Bennett’s keys?” she asked me in an artificially sweet voice, worse than nails on a chalkboard.
“He gave them to me,” I answered.
For some reason, she found this funny. And she was staring at me like I had cow manure in my hair. I didn’t know why, but her scrutiny infuriated me.
They had gone out, I reminded myself. Maybe they were still going out? She obviously didn’t like the idea of another girl being in Ben’s truck, but I didn’t care. I ignored her penetrating glare as I pushed the door open, unsubtly dismissing her.
That didn’t dissuade her. “You know he’ll only get what he wants from you, then dump you. He’ll come crawling back to me, like he always does.”
“Good for you?” I tossed over my shoulder.
“He doesn’t like it to be too easy. He needs a good challenge every now and again.” Her lips curled with disgust as her eyes swept over me from head to toe. “He’s a sucker for a good charity case, too.”
My mouth ran dry. Her words knocked the wind out of me, and I couldn’t stand up to her like I wanted to. Because, God, what if she was right?
She leaned in, and her voice dropped to a threatening octave. “I just thought you should know,” she said, “before you end up pathetic, heartbroken, and alone.”
I stood in the open door and turned to face Tracy toe-to-toe. “There’s nothing going on between Ben and me.”
She shot me an icy smile, but she didn’t respond. Finally, she slinked away and entered the school while I climbed into the truck. I stared through the windshield as the door drifted shut behind her.
I didn’t doubt that she was waiting for Ben. What would happen when she cornered him? Would he ignore her? Walk right by her?
Somehow I doubted that.
Charity case.
Pathetic.
Heartbroken.
Alone.
He wouldn’t. Would he? Had he already?
You have me too, Ana.
Which Ben was I getting? Which Ben had said those words to me two weeks ago? Which Ben had comforted me while I cried for my mother? Which Ben had kissed me? Which one would leave me pathetic, heartbroken, and alone?
Suddenly, I didn’t want to ride home with him anymore. I climbed out of the truck as a few players exited the building. I recognized one of them from my history class, and zeroed in on him.
“Ben still in there?” I nodded my head at the door.
He gave me a cursory glance, pausing briefly on my chest, before nodding.
“Good. Do me a favor, and give these to him.”
I tossed Ben’s keys at the boy, and he fumbled the catch. I used the distraction to get out of there before he could stall me with questions.
The walk from the school to the farm wasn’t a long nor a difficult one. I wasn’t worried about that. I wasn’t even worried about the fat raindrops already falling out of the sky, or the fact that I would be drenched by the time I got home. I only wanted to get out of there before Ben walked out that door.
I suspected something was wrong the moment the second-string junior dropped my keys in my hand. I knew something had gone terribly wrong when I stepped outside to find Tracy perched against my truck. The smirk on her face told me all I needed to know.
Ana was gone.
And it was starting to rain.
“I’ve got to go, Tracy.” I moved past her to open the door.
“Take me home first,” she purred. Her arms came around me, and her hands pressed against my chest. “Or we can just go up to the bluff.”
I tensed under her traveling hands. “What did you do to Ana?” Tracy’s fingers splayed across my stomach, and I wrenched free of her hold. She stumbled backward as I whirled around. “What did you say to her?”
Tracy looked away with a scoff. That was all the confirmation I needed that my instinct had been correct.
“Listen to me, Tracy.” My voice dropped with a warning. “You and me? We’re not together. We’re not going to be together. You understand that?”
“You’ll come back when you get bored with her,” Tracy returned with a confident flare. At one time, I had found her confidence attractive. Now, it boiled my blood.
I didn’t even bother to tell her that Ana had nothing to do with what I said, that my relationship with Ana wasn’t what she thought it was. Instead, I said something I knew would send Tracy into a frenzy. “That’s not going to happen with her.”
“She’s nothing like me, Ben. Nothing—”
“That’s for damn sure,” I interrupted. My eyes raked over Tracy. For the first time since I’ve known her, my distaste was visible. I saw her in a new, unflattering light now, and she knew it.
She flew at me with an open palm. I blocked her arm before she could connect with my face. “Fuck you, Bennett,” she snarled.
“Already did that, Tracy. Not interested in a repeat.”
I left her sputtering as I climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed the door.
A bolt of lightning shook the ground as I put the truck in reverse and sent Tracy scampering for cover as the sky opened all the way up. I had my wipers turned on high before I was out of the parking lot. I went slow, searching through the thick curtain of rain for Ana’s jacket. Considering the ten minutes it had taken me to change and talk to Coach, I doubted she had made it home yet.
Unless she’d gotten a ride from someone else. Her friend had disappeared too, so that was a possibility. I actually hoped that was the case.
Of course, I was going to make sure, because I felt guilty as hell right now. I should have expected this. Ana wasn’t the first girl Tracy had dug her nails into at the first hint of attention from me. Even if my motives concerning Ana . . .
Hell, I didn’t even know what my motives were anymore. Maybe Tracy had a valid reason for attacking Ana—what Tracy considered valid anyway. If Tracy targeted Ana then that meant I hadn’t done a good job of keeping my interest—as bewildered as I was by it—hidden from those I least wanted to know the truth. Whatever the truth was, because I honestly didn’t know anymore.
All I knew was that staying away from Ana wasn’t easy.
Kissing her had been easy. Good. Too damn good.
But I also knew it shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have kissed her, especially when she’d been vulnerable. Problem was, I wanted to do it again.
But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t put a target on Ana’s back. Though, after today, I feared she already had one.
“Dammit!” I slapped my hand down on the steering wheel when I reached the main road without spotting Ana.
Directly across from me was the now-muddy road that led to both of our houses. I paused long enough to make sure the intersection was clear before I raced through it. My tires slid when I hit the mud, but not enough to take my foot off the gas.
What in the hell had she been thinking, taking off in a storm like this? What had Tracy said to her that she would have rather walked than let me drive her home?
I eased off the gas when I finally spotted a blur of blonde ahead. With every hair on her head soaked by the rain, Ana resembled a drowned rat, yet marched on with a fierce determination. She straightened when I sped up alongside her as if she knew it was me.
Slowing to a crawl, I rolled down the window. “Get in!” I ordered.
Her chin tipped in my direction, but she kept walking.
“Ana!”
No response. Nothing. Apparently, whatever Tracy said to her was bad enough to risk pneumonia.
I drove a few yards past her before whipping the truck to the side. By the time I threw it into park and jumped out, she was already rounding the rear fender on the opposite side, trying to dodge me. I spun, and darted around the front of the truck to cut her off.
“Ana, just get in.”
She skirted around me, and I grabbed her arm. My mouth opened to plead with her one more time before I resorted to tossing her over my shoulder, but her outburst beat me to it.
Her fist connected with my chest—hard, but coming from her, it didn’t faze me much. My lack of reaction only infuriated her more. A noise that sounded shockingly like a growl ripped from her throat as her hands combed through the drenched mess of hair on her head.
“Am I a charity case, Ben?” She finally looked up at me, searching my eyes for an answer.
I gave up trying to make sense of her question, and let go of her arm with a shrug. “Ana, I don’t even understand what that means.”
“Am I Bennett Sawyer’s newest challenge?” She fired off another question—or maybe rephrased the first one. I honestly didn’t know. “Am I the pathetic new girl that doesn’t know she’s supposed to be chasing you like all the others? Am I the new challenge?”
She was making a little more sense now . . . but she couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Unfortunately, I doubted she would believe me now. Not after what happened between us two weeks ago.
“Is that what Tracy told you?” I returned, instead of answering her.
“That and other things.”
I took a step forward. I knew I was crowding her, but I didn’t care. “What other things?”
She snorted, and looked away. Rain poured down her face. Mine too, but I barely noticed. I was tempted to wipe it away for her, to shield her from it, but I knew it was pointless.
“Ana,” I pressed gently, “what other things?”
“Probably the truth,” she muttered.
“Let me be the judge of that.” My tone was a little harsher than I’d intended, but it got her attention. For that reason alone, I didn’t back down. “Tell me what she said to you.”
Her eyes lifted to the sky as if searching for the memory. She blinked against the onslaught of rain before answering. “Only that you’d get what you wanted from me, then leave me heartbroken and alone.” Her eyes roamed my face, watching my reaction. “Is that true? Is that what you’re trying—”
“No,” I answered quickly. “She sees you as a threat. She’ll say anything, do anything, to keep you away from me.”
Ana scoffed. “Well, she won’t have to try very hard.”
My feet stuck to the ground when she moved around me. While Ana getting safely away from me, and staying away, was what I wanted, hearing her say that . . . well, it kind of stung.
“That’s good to know,” I fired back. Regaining use of my legs, I turned to snatch her elbow. “Please, Ana, just get in the damn truck. I’m not going to leave you out here.”
She ripped her arm out of my grasp. “Why did you do it, huh? If I’m not the unlucky target of your next challenge, then why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you kiss me? Is it because you feel sorry for me?”
“What?”
“Am I a charity case?” she fired quickly.
“Ana . . .” She was being ridiculous now, but there was no stopping her.
“Is it because of my mom? The whole shitty disaster that is my life story? Is that why?”
I reached for her again. “Will you stop—”
“The easy girls got too easy for you, so you stoop to a pathetic orphan that has never really kissed a boy before? Nothing screams challenge like an inexperienced—”
“I shouldn’t have done it, Ana!” I roared. “It wasn’t some test to see if I could do it. It wasn’t planned. It just happened, and I’m sorry it did.”
She froze, and blinked up at me as I continued.
“You’re too fucking stubborn to accept pity from anyone, so no, I don’t feel sorry for you because you won’t let me. Am I trying to get into your pants? Absolutely not. I’m doing everything in my goddamn power to avoid you, but I just can’t do it anymore. Hell, I don’t know if I want to do it anymore. I don’t know what the fuck I want anymore. You have me so goddamn turned upside down, I don’t know what I’m doing!” I stopped to take a breath, and leaned my forearms against the hood of the truck for some much needed support. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
My head dropped between my shoulders when I realized everything I’d said, what I’d just admitted to. She was silent beside me. Too silent, when I had come to expect the opposite from her—regarding everything else. But this?
This she clammed up on. When I finally manned up enough to look at her, I found critical eyes staring back at me.
“You shouldn’t have done it?” she asked softly. “You’re sorry?”
I shook my head at the ground. Out of everything I’d just said, that’s the part she focused on?
“It’ll be in your best interest to stay far away from me. You don’t deserve the shit that I’ll bring into your life,” I offered as explanation, and turned to face her with a sigh. “Look, Ana, we’re both soaked. Could you just get in the truck and let me take you the rest of the way home? Please?”
Her chin dropped, and she gave me a barely detectible nod. The fight had left her. Her usu
al spunk had given way to exhaustion by the time she surrendered and climbed into the truck.
Thunder rumbled in the distance as I stalked around the front to my door. Mud caked my shoes, hair stuck to my forehead, and wet clothes hung from my body. As miserable as I was, it didn’t compare to the heaviness I felt in my chest.
The air in the truck was weighted, thick with awareness as I drove her the rest of the way home. The words said—and those left unsaid—between us were suffocating me by the time I pulled up to the farmhouse. She opened her door, and had one leg partially out, before I came to a complete stop.
My hand shot across the seat out of reflex and landed on her arm. “Ana?”
She paused, and waited for the words I couldn’t muster. Sorry was at the top of that list, but I couldn’t think about what I should have been sorry about. Sorry for kissing her in the first place? I’d already said that I was, even though I wasn’t. Not really. Sorry for doing it when and how I did it? Absolutely, but I couldn’t explain that to her now. Sorry for what happened today? Sorry for letting her get mixed up with me? Sorry for ever going near her in the first place?
Where to start?
She pulled away when I hesitated. “Just forget it, Ben,” she muttered. She jumped out and slammed the door on whatever I might have ended up saying.
Probably for the best, since I only managed to dig myself a deeper hole every time I opened my mouth around her. I threw the truck in reverse, and got the hell out of there before I made it worse.
I had no idea what I was doing, no idea where I should go from here. Avoid her again . . . until I couldn’t stand it anymore? Yeah, that was probably what I would end up doing. At some point, I needed to put a definite end to this—whatever this was.
For me. Mostly for Ana. Saying that she didn’t deserve the shit storm I would bring her had been the most honest thing I’d ever said to her.
I had no plan, but I would figure it out. All I knew right now was that I needed to get out of these wet clothes.
I pulled up to the house to find Mama sitting on the porch swing, enjoying the spring rain. She held a cup of coffee in her hand, and a faint smile lit her face when she saw me.
What Comes Next Page 9