That was where I was, sitting on one of the two wooden chairs facing the creek, when Mitch returned later. He looked much better than when he left, and now even sported a broad grin on his face.
“Ran into your little firecracker,” he teased as he took the steps. He settled into the chair next to mine with a sigh, and helped himself to a beer. “She thought I was you, at first. Had to dodge a few stones thrown at my head. Got pretty good aim for a girl.”
I suspected he was messing with me. Then again, I wouldn’t put it past Ana to hurl rocks at what she thought was my head.
I grinned at my brother. “I sure hope you didn’t tell her that. She popped me in the mouth the last time I referred to her as a girl.”
“It seems that she likes me better than she likes you, little brother,” he chuckled. He took a swig of beer while I eyed him over the rim of my own bottle.
“You didn’t see her,” I concluded.
Mitch shrugged, and turned to stare off into the night beyond the porch. The joking between us evaporated faster than a puddle of water in the desert. He was here . . . but he wasn’t.
What happened over there? The question froze on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to ask, but I didn’t know if I wanted to hear the answer.
“You need to fix it.” His quietly spoken words drifted to my ears. “I don’t know what happened, but I know you need to fix it.”
He was talking about Ana. I leaned forward to brace my elbows on my knees. The beer bottle dangled from my hand. “Mitch, it’s not—”
He turned to pierce me with a severe look. “It is that simple. You want to survive over there? You want to come back in one piece, and not like me? Then you need that girl here waiting for you to come back.”
I shook my head at the floor. “And what about her? What if I don’t come back?”
Mitch groaned. “You think she won’t grieve anyway? Just because you’re not together? Please, that girl loves you. Don’t know why . . .”
That was what I was afraid of. “I don’t know which is worse,” I admitted with a sigh. “Leaving her now, or possibly leaving her later.”
I thought if I left her now, I could spare her the heartbreak. I hadn’t considered the heartbreak that would cause for both of us now.
“You have to go with the option that gives you a chance,” Mitch declared confidently. “You’ll have a better shot at coming back if you have something worth coming home to.”
I sat frozen in my seat, watching the array of emotions that paraded across his face. I suspected he wasn’t finished, and I waited him out as he collected his alcohol-stunted thoughts.
“What you have . . . I wish I had that before I left,” he finally said. “Might have made it easier to come back in one piece.”
I stared at the floor, unable to look at my brother when I asked, “And what if I come back like Dad?”
“Or like me?” I glanced up, expecting to see anger on my brother’s face, but only saw resignation. “You’re not Dad. You’ve got too much of our mama in you.”
I give him a questioning look, and Mitch shrugged lazily.
“Alright,” he sighed. “Sure you’ve probably gotten more skirts than most of your friends.” He pointed a finger at me. “But I know you haven’t gotten more than me, baby brother. You’ve got a conscience. I lost that a long time ago. And Dad? I don’t think he ever had one.” He gave me a long look. “I’m not him. And if I’m not, you’re definitely not him. You hear me?”
I sat back in my chair with a nod. “I hear ya.”
Mitch held my gaze for a few heavy seconds before he settled into his seat. “Good.”
I stared through the trees, trying to catch a glimpse of the moon, but it eluded me. Finally, after a long silence, I said, “Two.”
“Hmm?” Mitch’s eyes squinted up, and I peeked at the empty bottles at his feet. Already three. He was going through them fast.
“Two girls,” I clarified, coming back to his statement from a moment ago.
It took him a few seconds, but when he finally got it, he leaned forward in his seat. His eyes were much clearer now. “You’ve only been with two?” I nodded, and he shook his head in disappointment. “And you call yourself my brother?”
I shrugged. “I’ve never claimed you.”
He grunted in disapproval. “Apparently, I shouldn’t have ever claimed you. Two?” He shook his head at the floor, and I watched as his eyes glazed over. Suddenly, he was gone again.
I sat up and started to reach for his shoulder, before I remembered the last time I touched him when he zoned out. It was almost as ugly as the morning I woke him. My hand clenched into a fist as I dropped it to my side. I finished the rest of my beer while I waited him out.
When his head snapped up, I pretended nothing happened.
“So what’s you going to do about it?” he slurred.
“About what?”
“You haven’t even been with the one girl you’re actually in love with,” he told me, and shrugged. “That’s the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”
“What do you think I should do?” I asked in all seriousness.
“Don’t take what you got for granted. That would be a start.”
I snorted softly. “I don’t have her anymore, Mitch. That’s where you’re mistaken.”
He rolled his eyes in my direction while he finished off the last of his beer. “You don’t have her because you’re a fucking idiot. Do something about it. You don’t let a girl like that get away from you. If you do, you’ll regret it forever.”
Despite the fact that he was drunk most of the time now, my brother was a smart man. He forced me to consider my future with Ana through a new set of eyes. A future that might not end in heartbreak or disappointment for either of us. One that could keep her in Stone Creek, and away from her deadbeat father. If she ever stopped hating me long enough to hear me out.
As the last week of school ticked down and graduation drew closer, I knew I needed to hurry before I lost my chance. I had never been more nervous than I was tonight, as I sat at home, watching the moon rise in the black sky and waiting for the perfect time to act. If all went according to plan, I’d be back with Ana by the end of the night.
Then, the phone inside the house rang and my plan went to hell. Since Mama was working the late shift, and Mitch had vanished for the night, I took the call.
“Bennett?” I barely recognized Travis’s voice, nearly drowned out by the loud music and chatter coming through the line. I guessed that he was calling me from Vince’s house—the location of the pre-graduation party I’d heard so much about earlier today. There was a strain in his voice that told me something was wrong. “You need to get over here, man.”
“What is it?”
“Your brother,” he sighed. “I don’t know what the hell he got into, but he’s a mess.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers. “Is he high?”
“He’s, uh . . . he’s something, man. I don’t know what he’s on, but Vince is about to blow a gasket.”
“I’ll be right there,” I promised before I hung up.
By the time I got to Vince’s five minutes later, I was a walking, solid ball of frustration. My hands fisted at my sides as I squeezed between classmates assembled on the front yard and porch, and stepped inside the house. I ignored the pats on the back and the shouts from those excited to see that I had finally made it out to the party. I didn’t bother to tell them I wasn’t staying. Travis waved to me from the crammed kitchen, and I shouldered my way over to where he sat perched on the counter.
“Where is he?”
Travis shrugged. “Last I saw him, he was getting naked in Vince’s room.” He pointed a crooked finger in my face. “Vince was not happy!”
“Is he with a girl?” I honestly didn’t know if that was worse, or better, than the night he stripped down for no apparent reason and passed out on the living room floor.
Travis shrugged again, and nearly top
pled off the counter. “Someone said they saw your girl in there.”
“Ana?” My voice rose in disbelief.
Travis smirked. “No better way to get your attention than going after your brother. If you ask me—”
“I’m not.” I cut Travis off mid-thought, and pushed away from the counter. Ignoring his calls after me, I elbowed my way through the cluster of happy, drunk, and dancing bodies on my way upstairs. Except for a group of junior girls smoking grass in the bathroom, it was deserted. The only sign I found of my brother was his damp and discarded shirt on the floor of Vince’s bedroom. It reeked of spilled beer, smoke, and a hint of musky perfume.
Not anything I’d smelled on Ana before, thank God. But where was she? Where was my brother?
“Fucking perfect,” I grumbled under my breath.
I turned to head back downstairs, but came up short when a petite shadow moved into the doorway. A dim band of light from the hallway lit her face, just enough for me to recognize the cunning grin on Tracy’s lips. Before I could open my mouth to ask her what she wanted, she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.
I heard a soft click, and Vince’s bedside lamp turned on. As she approached me, she said, “We need to talk.”
“I need to find my brother, Tracy.”
“Mitch?” Her head tilted in emphasized contemplation. “Last I saw him, he was headed home shirtless after spending a considerable amount of time in here with a girl. One we both know. You know her better, of course.”
My chest tightened. That was two who claimed to have seen Mitch with Ana tonight. I didn’t like the odds.
She snatched on to my unease and rolled with it. “Guess that perfect girl of yours caught his eye too. Though she didn’t seem to mind she was with the wrong brother. You might want to reconsider that perfect label you gave her.”
I knew better than to take anything Tracy said at value, but I couldn’t help the heavy knot forming in my stomach at the picture she painted. I needed to get out of this room. First, to find my brother. Second, to kill him if Tracy’s version of events was even a little accurate. Third, track down Ana, because apparently she was here somewhere.
I started around Tracy, but her slender arm shot out, catching me in the stomach to block my escape. She shifted until she was practically standing on my toes. Both hands pressed against my chest, preventing me from taking another step.
“Don’t you think it’s been a long enough, Bennett?” She threw her head back with a short laugh. “Even she has moved on by now, and I don’t think we’ve ever gone this long without—”
I applied gentle pressure to her shoulder in an effort to push her aside. “I don’t have time for this, Tracy.”
The girl was rooted in front of me like a damn tree. One with flexible, reaching branches that snagged on to anything it could to keep me in place. “Since when do you not have time for this?”
Before I could dislodge myself from her grasp, her lips were on mine. Her arms squeezed my neck like a vice-grip, and I locked up. While her lips moved brazenly over mine, I did nothing. I didn’t stop her. I didn’t kiss her back. With my arms dropped to my sides, nothing but my lips touched her.
It took her a moment to notice my disinterest. When she did, her kiss turned frantic in a desperate attempt to entice me. She pressed against me harder, and one arm tightened around my neck while the other slipped between us. Her fingers grazed my stomach as she lifted my shirt to slide her hand down the front of of my jeans.
“What about this?” she purred. “I know you like this . . .”
My body defiantly started to betray me. No matter how much I didn’t want Tracy, no matter how much I longed for another girl, I couldn’t deny that what Tracy was doing felt good. But the physical gratification I’d once found with Tracy was no longer enough for me.
At the sound of my zipper being undone, I snapped out of the trance she’d temporarily put me in. I grabbed her by both shoulders, and gruffly dislodged her from me.
“Enough, Tracy,” I ordered.
She stared at me like I’d sprouted another head. “You can’t be serious!”
“I’ve never been more serious.” I sidestepped her and ripped the door open before she could stop me.
Tracy was on my heels as I flew down the stairs. I drew to an abrupt stop when I noticed the wall of familiar faces in the living room, all watching the stairs with unrivaled intensity.
I watched Vince frown and hand over a wad of cash to one of the guys on the baseball team. For weeks, I had pretended to not know anything about the stupid bet the entire school had on how long it would take for Tracy and me to get back together. Seeing us descend the stairs together, they all concluded that it had finally happened.
I considered telling them just how wrong they were, but the sound of laughter from the kitchen stopped the words in my mouth. I glanced in that direction to find everyone looking and pointing toward the entrance as a streak of color dashed outside. Standing just inside the door was Ana’s friend, Jen. The prominent scowl on her face was targeted directly at me.
It clicked together in a matter of seconds, but it felt like I was rooted to the floor for hours as my stomach dropped. The flash of color I’d glimpsed?
“Ana!” I shouted, eliciting another onslaught of laughter from the group.
Tracy glided up behind me, draped her arm across my chest. “Let her go, Ben. She can’t—”
I ripped out of Tracy’s grasp, leaving her sputtering behind me as I raced after Ana.
I had told Jen I didn’t want to go to that stupid party. I’d told her, but she’d insisted that I get out of the house and do something.
Like a fool, I’d stared at the stairway along with everyone else. Despite the whispers around me, I hadn’t wanted to believe it was Ben and Tracy up there. I hadn’t believed that he would end up with her again. Not until they walked down the stairs together, and I saw it with my own eyes.
My feet carried me home in a blur of disbelief. The mile-long walk didn’t take as long as I thought it would, but I didn’t remember one minute of the journey. Ben’s face as he descended the stairs with Tracy on his heels, and his zipper partially undone, was all I’d seen for the past ten minutes. Behind the tears, the vision was vivid.
I started toward the house, drawn toward the comfort of my pillow that had absorbed its fair share of tears over Bennett Sawyer the past three weeks. Seeing movement through the window, inside the kitchen, I stopped.
I still had a few hours left before curfew. I didn’t want to spend them crying to Ma about what I’d seen tonight. I’d rather cry alone, where no one would know to find me.
The treehouse sounded like a good idea . . . until I actually saw it, and was overcome by memories—the good, the not so good, and everything in between. Sadly, every single memory included Ben.
As I climbed the ladder, I pushed the wonderful images I had of him aside. In their place slid the most recent image I had—the one that made me loathe him on a whole new level. Then I climbed inside the small enclosure, and came face-to-face with him. Bennett Sawyer, in the flesh, stood in front of me.
I squeezed my eyes together tightly, thinking I surely had to be imagining that he was there. When I opened them again, he stepped closer.
“I was hoping you would come here,” he told me.
I whirled around and seriously considered throwing myself out of the treehouse to get away from him faster, as I raced toward the ladder. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me away from the edge, and I knew I was stuck in here with him.
“Ana, listen to me.” He pulled my back against his chest, and his breath tickled my neck as he pleaded. “Nothing happened between me and Tracy tonight.”
I pushed at his forearms, attempting to dislodge myself from his arms, but his grip didn’t loosen. “Let me go,” I cried.
He effortlessly spun me around so that I was forced to stare at his chest, his neck, his chin. I refused to look any higher. I also ref
used to struggle, because I knew it was pointless. He’d already proven once before that he could trap me for as long as he wanted. Right before he’d also claimed he would never hurt me like some other guys would.
He’d lied.
“What do you want, Ben?” I choked back the sob that had reduced my voice to a pathetic quiver.
“I was planning to talk to you tonight,” he started.
“There’s nothing left to say,” I refuted. “You said enough three weeks ago, and I saw enough tonight.”
He pushed me back to arm’s length. I kept my head down, avoiding his eyes despite his persistence that I look at him. “I went there tonight, looking for my brother. Tracy cornered me in the room. She kissed me”—his grip tightened as I attempted to wrench out of his hold—“but I didn’t kiss her back, Ana! I shot her down. That’s it. Nothing happened.”
“Sure didn’t look like nothing.”
“Why? Because we walked downstairs together? Because—”
“Your zipper was undone, Ben.” I finally looked up to meet his eyes with a hard stare.
His mouth clamped shut, and he shook his head once. “She tried—”
“I really don’t want to hear it, Ben,” I cut him off. “I heard enough from everyone else.”
“They’re all a bunch of idiots, Ana!” He released one hand to jab a finger over my head, in the general direction of Vince’s house. “No one there knows what really went on, except for me and Tracy. Including you, but I’m trying to tell you what happened. It’s definitely not what you think.”
I shook my head at the floor. I wanted to believe that he was telling me the truth, but why should I? How could I?
Why did it even matter?
“I don’t get a say in what you do, or don’t do, anymore,” I told him. “We broke up. Remember?”
One corner of his mouth lifted, but it wasn’t a friendly grin he gave me. “Yeah. Is that why you were with my brother tonight?”
“What? I wasn’t—” I wrenched free of his hold. Or he let me go.
“So you weren’t with Mitch tonight?” he snapped.
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