Swiftly shutting down those thoughts, he asked a blessing on the meal and glanced over the table. Jemma’s cooking had steadily improved. The roast she made the previous day had been so tender it fell apart at the touch of his fork. Fully anticipating more of it and the Yorkshire pudding, which seemed like an eggy biscuit to him, he stared at a platter that held something she hadn’t served before. As she passed it to him, he tried to decide what it was and took a serving.
“It’s bubble and squeak,” Jack said as Thane passed the platter to him.
“Come again?” Thane stared at his plate. Golden brown on the outside, he cut into the mystery food. The inside looked like it contained vegetables and he couldn’t decipher what else.
“Just take a bite. You’ll like it.” Jemma grinned at him while cutting Lily’s meat into small pieces.
Hesitantly forking a bite, Thane stuck it in his mouth, prepared for some strange texture or flavor but found he enjoyed the savory bite. After taking another, he smiled at his wife. “That’s good. What’s in it?”
“Leftover potatoes and vegetables from dinner yesterday, and a few drippings from the bacon we had this morning.” Jemma let out a sigh of relief, inordinately pleased Thane liked something that was such a reminder of her home and brought her comfort to both prepare and eat.
“Definitely make it again.” Thane helped himself to more and ate his dinner with enthusiasm.
He helped clear the table then shrugged back into his coat, promising to return to tuck Lily and Jack into bed. Even though he often stayed out late, he always came in for a few minutes to tuck in the children and wish them sweet dreams. Jemma often wished he’d do the same for her.
After washing the dishes, she sat on the sofa in front of the fire, sewing buttons onto a new shirt she made for Jack while Lily wiggled beside her, pretending to read a story. Jack sat at the table working over some math problems she wrote out on a piece of paper.
Right on time, Thane appeared to help tuck the children into bed then disappeared outside again. A draft of cold air blew in as he shut the door, making her chilled.
In need of something to soothe her weary body and confused thoughts, Jemma heated several kettles of water on the stove, preparing to take a hot bath.
She dragged in a galvanized tub they used for bathing from where it hung on the side of the cabin. Briefly, she debated whether she should set it in the bedroom for more privacy or in front of the crackling fire. The sound of the wind howling outside tipped her decision in favor of the fire. She pushed back the table by the sofa to make more room for the tub and filled it with the steaming water. After adding a pitcher of cool water, she hurried into the bedroom and returned wrapped in a towel with a bar of fragrant soap she’d brought from England.
To test the temperature, she lifted her foot and stuck one toe in the water. Finding it to her liking, she sank into the tub, lathered herself with the soap, then let the hot water ease her tense muscles and tired mind.
Relaxed, she tipped her head back, closed her eyes, and let her thoughts drift as she dozed in front of the fire.
A sound woke her from her slumber and her eyes snapped open. Uncertain how long she’d been asleep, Jemma stood and wrapped the towel around herself then stepped out of the tub. When she turned around, she bit back a scream. Thane stood just inside the door, gaping at her.
Mortified, she ran into the bedroom and shut the door.
Thane watched her go, rooted to the spot.
He had stayed outside after tucking in the kids until he couldn’t stand the cold any longer, hoping Jemma was asleep. Quietly entering the cabin, he shut the door and turned around, gawking at her still form in the tub in front of the fire. All he could make out from his position by the door was her shoulders and the arm she had draped along the edge of the tub.
Then she awoke and stood.
The vision of Jemma rising from the tub, sleek and wet, embraced in the glow of the fire, danced through his mind, tempting and teasing him. The sight of what hid beneath all her proper clothes set his blood boiling at such a high heat, he thought he might combust.
If he went to her now, if he opened the bedroom door and stepped inside, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself. He’d break his promise and her trust, and he couldn’t do that no matter how much he wanted her.
Hurriedly grabbing two buckets from beneath the sink, he emptied the water from the tub outside. He had to breathe through his mouth to keep from inhaling the luscious scent of the soap.
Finished with the chore, he stood in front of the bedroom door with his hand lingering on the knob. Everything in him told him to open the door, take his wife in his arms, and confess the deep love he held for her.
Before he could make that move, Tully’s words echoed in his head about crumpets and cowpies.
Convicted by the truth, he strode across the floor, opened the door, and went back out into the cold night.
Chapter Nineteen
“Have you seen Thane?” Jemma caught Sam as he walked out of the bunkhouse on the way to the barn.
“He stopped by real early this morning, had me rustle him up some grub. Said he was gonna ride out to check on the mines then spend a few days at one of the line shacks to make sure the cattle in the southwest section are doing fine.” Sam patted the pocket of his coat and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. “He asked me to give you this. Almost forgot.”
Sam handed her the missive and tipped his hat before continuing on to the barn.
Jemma stood in the middle of the ranch yard, staring at the paper in her hand, dreading what it would say. Fortified with a deep breath, she unfolded the sheet and read Thane’s words.
Jemma,
My apologies for what happened last night. I assure you, it was not intentional.
It’s past time for me to check on work at the mines. On my way back, I reckon I’ll spend a few days at one of the line shacks before returning to the ranch. I’ll be home for Thanksgiving.
After giving our arrangement consideration, I realize it’s unfair to burden you with such a rough existence. Although I can’t give up Jack and Lily completely, if you’d like to move into Baker City, I could visit them frequently and make sure you have a comfortable home in which to raise them. Of course, I would see to an annulment of our marriage so you would be free to find a husband much more to your liking.
Please tell Jack and Lily how much I love them and give them a hug from me.
With admiration,
Thane
“Oh, that stupid, stupid man!” Jemma wadded the paper into a ball and tossed it on the ground, giving it a vicious stomp before picking it back up and marching into the cabin. She slammed the door for good measure, cringing as she heard Lily cry out in startled surprise from her room.
Forgetting the children slept, she hurried to comfort Lily, hoping she’d go back to sleep.
When she did, Jemma tossed the note into the stove and took pleasure in watching it burn.
If Thane thought he could get rid of her that easily, he had much to learn about women in general and her in particular.
“Burden me with such a rough existence, my foot.” Jemma worked the pump handle at the sink with such force, it squeaked and rattled in protest of the rude treatment.
After filling the teakettle, she placed it on the stovetop and stoked the fire.
She’d been horrified beyond words when she turned around last night and saw Thane watching her with a dazed look on his face. Frantically rushing to the bedroom, she dried off and slipped on her nightgown, expecting him to walk through the door and say something to make her blush even more.
The sounds of his footsteps and the front door opening and closing let her know he emptied the tub and carried it outside.
As she continued waiting for him to enter the room, her conversation with Maggie filled her thoughts.
Jemma was tired of skirting around her feelings for Thane.
She loved him, had fallen in love with hi
m, and wanted him to be her husband in every sense of the word. Ready to take that step, she anxiously waited for him to walk in so she could tell him what was in her heart.
From the look on his face and the fire in his eyes in the brief moment her gaze met his before she hurried into the bedroom, she admitted Maggie spoke the truth. Thane cared for her, longed for her, too.
That’s why she turned back the covers on the bed and removed the barrier she’d placed there with pillows and blankets. It was time to remove the wall that separated their bed as well as the one that kept him out of her heart.
When his footsteps approached the door, she held her breath in anticipation then let it out in a disappointed whoosh when the front door opened and all grew quiet.
Quickly opening the bedroom door, it was obvious by the empty room that Thane had gone.
Annoyed with herself and him, she climbed into bed and fumed until sleep eventually claimed her.
In hopes of waking to find him beside her, she opened her eyes that morning to discover he hadn’t come to bed at all.
Angry, she hurried to dress and went outside to search for him. Ghost was missing from the barn so she knew Thane was gone even before Sam confirmed her suspicions.
If the numskull thought leaving her a ridiculous note was a proper way to say goodbye, she’d certainly educate him on the matter when he returned.
The whistle of teakettle caught Jemma’s attention. She pulled it from the heat and made herself a bracing cup of tea then sat at the table, trying to decide what drove Thane away.
Since only he could answer the question, she forced herself to calm down as she sipped her tea. When he finally hauled himself home, she intended to ask him.
Until then, she had children to care for, holiday surprises to plan, and recipes to practice. Maggie assured her the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday was a celebration Americans took seriously. Even if it killed her, Jemma intended to master the basics of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner.
Jemma forced a smile to her face as she glanced first at Jack then Lily. The two of them played with their food, rather than ate it, and their gazes continued to drift to the door of the cabin, as though their wishes could make their uncle magically appear.
After laboring for days to prepare the elaborate meal on the table, Jemma hoped Thane would return from wherever it was he went to hide to enjoy Thanksgiving with her and the children.
As the day wound to an end, it became unmistakably clear her wishes and work at making the meal had been in vain.
That morning, she drove the buckboard into town so she and the children could attend the Thanksgiving service at church. Maggie invited them to spend the day with her, since she was cooking a meal for several people who had no other family, like Tully, but Jemma wanted to hurry back to the ranch in case Thane put in an appearance.
The afternoon sped by as she cooked. She hurried to change into one of her best dresses, styled her hair in a loose chignon, then dressed Lily and combed her hair while Jack changed into one of his suits.
Disheartened, she waited as long as she could before she made the children join her at the table for the meal. Had she postponed the meal any longer, it would have been unfit to eat.
She’d cooked turkey with stuffing, baked yams smothered in butter, mashed potatoes to serve with creamy gravy, and prepared green beans, and corn. In addition, she’d made fluffy yeast rolls with berry jam, and pumpkin pie for dessert. The feast, made for her absent husband, settled like a rock in her stomach.
Anger gnawed at her as she thought about him missing such an important day with the children.
It was one thing if he chose to ignore her, but he didn’t seem to realize how much his absence hurt Jack and Lily. Since he left so unexpectedly, Jack reverted to his quiet, solemn ways and Lily constantly asked if he was dead like her papa.
Disappointment drew out her sigh. Sam told her Thane would probably be gone for at least two weeks by the time he rode to each of the mines then spent a few days on the range. They’d already passed that mark and neared three weeks.
No amount of encouragement from Sam or Maggie made her feel better about him leaving without even saying goodbye to her or the children. They deserved better than that. She deserved better than that.
Tired of poking at her food, she finally gave up and set her fork on the edge of her plate. “You two may be excused if you’re finished with your meal.”
Jack nodded and carried his plate to the sink, scraping his uneaten supper into a bucket. Lily did the same before shuffling across the floor and climbing into the rocking chair by the fire. As she set it into motion, the child hummed a song to herself, one Thane had sat in that very spot and sang to her many times.
With her heart aching for the children, Jemma determined she’d give Thane Jordan a piece of her mind when he came home. She might even forget she was a lady and pop him in the nose, although it would be a pity to break one quite so handsome.
Furious with herself for the direction her thoughts headed, she pulled on a wide apron to keep from soiling her dress and stored the leftover food in the icebox Thane purchased on his last trip to town. As she washed and dried the dishes, she kept an eye on the children. Both stared listlessly into the fire and she didn’t know what to do to bring them a bit of cheer.
After wiping off the table and blowing out the candles she’d lit, she returned her grandmother’s crystal candlesticks to the mantle above the fireplace, removed her apron, and fetched her coat.
“Come along, children,” she said, motioning for them to join her at the door.
“Where are we going, Auntie Jemma?” Jack asked as he and Lily walked over to where she waited. She handed him his coat then helped Lily slip into hers. When they both had their coats buttoned with knit caps and mittens in place, she lit a lantern, wrapped a scarf around her head and neck, then slid on a pair of warm gloves.
Lifting the lantern in one hand, she opened the door then took Lily’s hand in the other.
“I think some fresh air would do us all a world of good.”
“But it’s dark out and cold,” Jack said, pointing out the obvious as he closed the door behind him.
“I know, but let’s think of this as an adventure.” Jemma smiled brightly, walking down the porch steps and across the ranch yard toward the trail that went past the bunkhouse and out toward the north pasture. Rigsly, Salt, and Pepper followed along, chasing each other and barking at the fun they created.
The snow that fell earlier in the week crunched beneath their boots as she led the children on a walk, pointing out the shapes of rocks and brush in the shadows of the evening. The moon did little to provide light, so they depended on the lantern to illuminate the darkness.
Not wanting to get too far away from the ranch yard or help, should they need it, Jemma realized she forgot to bring a pistol with her. Although the snakes were no threat in the cold temperatures, there were still concerns of coyotes and the occasional cougar in the area.
One of the ranchers several miles to the north related a tale after church one Sunday of killing a bear on his property. Thane assured her the man’s ranch was in the mountains and bears preferred that area to the scrubby sagebrush of his place.
The coyotes howled in the distance and Jemma stopped, listening to their cries. Accustomed to their racket, she bent down, grinning at Lily and Jack. “Can you hear the coyotes tonight? What do you suppose they’re singing? A love song? Telling a story?”
“A story,” Lily said, regaining a little of her enthusiasm. “It’s a story about a papa who gets lost and forgets to come home and his babies are very, very sad.”
Jemma lifted her eyes heavenward, sending up a prayer for Thane and for the children they both loved. She handed Jack the lantern and picked up Lily, kissing her cool cheek and giving her a warm hug.
“I think that’s enough adventure for tonight. Let’s go home.”
Although she tucked Lily into bed when they returned, Jemma waited a
while to check on Jack. He sat in his bed with a book open on his lap, but he wasn’t reading. His brow furrowed in twin vertical lines, looking so like his uncle when something concerned him. It made her heart catch to see him.
“Auntie Jemma?”
She sat on the edge of his bed and ran a gentle hand along his forehead, pushing his bangs away from his face. “Yes, lovey?”
“Is Uncle Thane ever coming back?”
“Yes, Jack. He’ll come home soon, I’m sure. Sam said his mines are spread all over the valley and it takes time to ride to each one.”
“I know, but I miss him being here. If Uncle Thane isn’t here, I want to go home.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Jemma pulled Jack into her embrace and kissed the top of his head. “I miss your uncle and wish he’d come home very soon. Until he does, though, I think we should make some plans for Christmas. Tomorrow, let’s make a list of all the fun things you’d like to do, decorations we can make, and treats you’d like to have. How does that sound?”
“Good.” Jack gave her a smile, but it was more for her benefit than because he held any excitement for the upcoming holiday season.
“Get some rest, Jack. Don’t worry about your uncle. He can take care of himself.”
“I love you, Auntie Jemma.” The boy hugged her again then snuggled into his pillow.
Jemma pulled the covers up around him, kissing his cheek. “I love you, my darling boy. Now, go to sleep.”
A few more days passed with no sight of Thane. Sick with worry, Jemma took her concerns to Sam.
“I’m getting a might unsettled myself. I’ll send a couple of the boys out to check the line shacks. If they don’t find him there, I’ll have them ride on out to the mines. If the boss says he’ll be back at a certain time, he’s usually here or sends word he’ll be late. It ain’t like him to disappear, and it sure ain’t like him to miss Thanksgiving, especially with you and the youngin’s here.”
Crumpets & Cowpies: (Sweet Historical Western Romance) (Baker City Brides Book 1) Page 25