by Toni Aleo
Looking away, she shrugged slowly. “I don’t know, maybe because I’m the only girl? My mom passed away when I was seven from breast cancer.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his heart going out to her.
She gave him a tight smile before she went on. “Thank you, but they’ve been a little smothering since then. I think they are scared I’ll get hurt, when I could take out anyone who tried to hurt me. They are nuts and overprotective, which reminds me, I’m sorry Grady did that. He’s a bonehead.”
“He loves you; I understand it. Anyone ever touches Kacey, and I’ll do the same. It’s a big brother thing.”
“I guess, but he goes over and beyond the big brother requirements. He’s treated me like a walking time bomb since the diagnosis. It’s annoying.”
Karson stopped and glanced over at her. He could see it all over her face. She hadn’t meant to tell him that. “Diagnosis?”
Clearing her throat, she asked, “Huh?”
“You said diagnosis.”
She laughed, waving her hand at him. “I don’t know why, silly me.”
Still looking at her, he said, “I know this is new, but I know when you are lying to me. Lacey, what diagnosis?”
Dropping her fork, she let out a breath before wrapping her fingers together in her lap. She picked at the nail polish that was flaking off her fingers. Karson watched as she took in a deep breath before letting it out again. Looking up at him, she said, “I had breast cancer.”
His heart stopped as she held his gaze. “You had it, too?”
“Yeah, that’s how they found out about it. My mom had, so I was at risk. They suggested I come in early, just as a precaution, and found it.”
“Do you still?”
“No,” she answered, shaking her head.
“Well, that’s good, great even, that you fought it. Why are you bashful about something like that? You should be proud that you are a survivor.”
“I am. It’s just that I’ve been sick for so long, and I am just now getting back to me. You know what I mean? Like, I still don’t look like me. I used to be healthy looking and my hair was so long, but the chemo took it, and then I—” She stopped suddenly and shook her head. “It’s just that I have this second chance and I want to make the most of it, but sometimes I am so scared that I’m not the girl I used to be.”
Turning to her, Karson took her hand in his. “I didn’t know that girl, but I bet she was as amazing as you are now. You’ve taken something that could be a tragedy and are capitalizing on it, wanting to help women feel sexy after something that could make them feel like they aren’t female anymore. Breast cancer is scary. I admire you for what you’ve overcome and for your plans for the future. You are amazing, Lacey, and gorgeous. Don’t ever forget that.”
Her mouth pulled up at the side as she looked away bashfully. He said, “And to let you know, I’ve fallen just a bit more for you. You blow me away, Lacey. The more I learn about you, the more I know this instant attraction to you is more than I thought. I hope you’re ready.”
Confused, she asked, “Ready?”
“Yeah, ready for the kind of relationship that will ruin you for anyone else. Not that we have to worry about that because I know this is a forever kind of thing.”
“You’re so confident,” she said, shaking her head, a grin pulling at her lips.
“Yeah, because I know what I want, and when I want something as bad as I want you, I know I’ll do anything to keep it.”
“I admire that about you.”
“Good…because I’ve never been in love, and I want to do this right. I want to do you right. I read once that being someone’s first love is great, but to be their last is beyond perfect. I want that with you, and I don’t care how crazy that sounds.”
Looking away, she pulled in a deep breath before looking back at him. “You scare me shitless, Karson King, because I have decided to trust you. I hope to God that everything you say will be true because cancer broke me into a billion pieces, and I’m just now putting that all back together. Picking all those pieces up again would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do, so please don’t break me.”
Cupping her face, he leaned in, running his nose along hers before he whispered, “There won’t be any pieces to pick up because I’m not breaking you. I’ll hold you together. You’ll never face anything without me right there. I’ll be there until the end. I promise you that.”
“I trust you.”
That was all he needed to hear.
Their relationship was on the fast track from that moment on. It was intense and maybe a little insane, but Lacey wouldn’t have it any other way. She was falling madly for him, and she wasn’t the least bit ashamed of it. Wherever Karson was, Lacey was, and vice versa. They were constantly together, studying, going out, and just enjoying each other. She had never felt so free in her life, and she knew it was because of him. He made her feel alive, like the most beautiful girl in the world, and he continually told her that. She had never felt so strongly about someone, and despite Rachel and Grady telling her she was nuts for falling for him so quickly, she still allowed herself to do so.
It was just that Karson made everything feel so right, so perfect, as if it was meant to be. He made her feel as if there was nothing but them, and she loved that about him. And boy, could he make her hotter than anybody ever had before. Lacey wasn’t a virgin, not by a long shot. Growing up around nothing but Grady’s friends, she’d lost her virginity when she was sixteen, but there was a difference between fooling around with boys and being with Karson.
He made her feel so special with each touch. They hadn’t had sex, but there had been heavy touching and rubbing because he said he wanted to wait. What twenty-year-old guy wanted to wait? Karson King did because he wanted her to be completely ready and trust him. It was night and she was thankful because every time they fooled around and things got hot and heavy, her anxiety was always high when his hands gravitated toward her breasts. She knew she needed to tell him about them, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She loved their relationship and didn’t want to feel the sting of rejection if he felt he couldn’t deal with it. In her heart she knew that wasn’t true, but still, it made her nervous.
Along with spending every waking moment together, they never missed an event for the other person either. Every game, Lacey was there, Karson’s number written on her cheek with Rachel right beside her, Grady’s number on her cheek. Grady still wasn’t okay with Karson and Lacey being together, but at least he hadn’t tried to swing at Karson in the last two months. When Lacey performed with the Catappellas, Karson was front row, watching every moment, and the loudest person cheering when they finished a set. They had a routine; Karson walked her to every class and was always there at the end to greet her before rushing off to his own. She wasn’t sure how he got away with missing so much, but he guaranteed her it wasn’t a big deal, that he was passing. She was fine with whatever he was doing as long as she got to see him. Call her selfish, but she valued the time she got to spend with him since, more than likely, he’d be going into the draft. After being picked for a team, he’d be shipped off to whichever team chose him. He had been flying out a lot, interviewing with all kinds of teams, and it was nerve-racking, but she was so proud of him.
While she prayed every night that the Blackhawks chose him, she knew that was probably not going happen since they were on the road to the Cup, and they wouldn’t get the first draft pick. Karson wasn’t sure, but he promised, no matter what, she would always be the keeper of his heart. She was grateful for that and trusted him, but she also knew that her man would probably go to some team that was rebuilding somewhere far away. She believed that nothing could derail their love. She loved him so hard that it was scary. The more she thought about it, the more she knew that if he asked her to go, she’d go without hesitation.
Looking across the table at her father, she smiled when he met her gaze. His mouth curved in a grin, and it made her he
art happy. Her dad had aged so much over the last couple of years, and she knew it was her fault. She knew he loved her though, and that eased the guilt a little bit, but she wished she could take the hard years away.
“Daddy, can I invite Karson to dinner next Sunday?”
Grady looked up as Rachel glanced up, too. Rachel had been coming to Sunday dinners since Grady asked her out, but Lacey hadn’t brought Karson yet. Even though they had been together for two months, she figured it would be a tough pill for her dad to swallow, knowing his daughter was involved with someone. He had always been so overprotective. He knew about Karson and he seemed indifferent to it all, but still Lacey wanted to include Karson in their family get-togethers.
“So it’s serious, buttercup?”
Lacey’s heart kicked up in speed as she nodded. “Yeah, Daddy, it is.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, they are saying he will be a number-one pick for the draft, meaning he has a one-way ticket out of Chicago.”
“I know, but we feel we’ll be fine. You never know, I might go with him. I could transfer schools.”
Grady’s brows shot up and, unfortunately, so did her father’s as he asked, “Transfer schools? Leave Chicago?”
Swallowing loudly, Lacey looked down as she said, “I mean, I don’t know. It’s all up in the air, but I know that I care for him deeply. I want him to be involved in our family dinners, and I want you to get to know him. He’s an amazing person.”
“I know who he is. I’ve trained him for the last two years. While yes, he is a great guy, I don’t think he is the guy for you. I didn’t say anything when you two got together because I figured it would end when he left, but you saying you want to go with him is out of the question.”
Her father didn’t yell at her, it was more of a very stern voice, but it scared her as much as if he had, though she wasn’t going to be treated like a child.
“Daddy, I am eighteen years old, about to turn nineteen. If I want to go, I will.”
“No, you won’t. I won’t pay a penny of your education.”
“That’s fine; that’s why there are loans. You are getting your blood pressure up for nothing though. I don’t know what will happen. All I wanted to know was if my boyfriend could come to dinner.”
He looked at Lacey with eyes that told her the answer before he spoke it. But still her heart dropped when he said, “The answer is no.”
Slowly, she nodded before standing up. “If my boyfriend can’t come to dinner, then I won’t be here either.”
“Sit down, Lacey. That is ludicrous,” he said, setting her with a look.
Shaking her head, Lacey’s eyes filled with tears as she said, “What’s ludicrous is that Grady can have his girlfriend to dinner, but I can’t have my boyfriend. I am tired of the double standards around here, and things better change before I change them for us.”
With that, she turned and headed for the front door. Her dad called her back, but she ignored him as she put on her jacket and hat. Fighting back the tears, she glanced up at the portrait of her mother and said, “Bye, Mom.”
Slamming the front door to her house, she stomped to her car and drove off. She pulled her phone out her pocket and dialed Karson. He answered on the second ring.
“Hey babe, you done with dinner?”
“Yeah, can I come see you?”
“Yeah, of course. I was hoping you would.”
She worked her lip and then asked, “Are you alone?”
She could hear the smile in his voice as he said, “Well, yeah, Grady was with you. I don’t know if he is coming back here. He might go to Rachel’s.”
“Oh yeah,” she said, feeling dumb. She decided that she would text Rachel to take Grady back to their dorm because she wanted to be alone with Karson. “Okay, I’m coming over.”
“Sounds good, babe. See you soon. Be careful.”
“I will,” she promised as she hung up and headed toward his frat house. It was on the other side of campus. She hated the drive, but soon she was there, parking beside his car. Hopping out, she bundled up in her jacket as she headed up the stairs to the door. Opening it, she was greeted by some of his teammates. She smiled and waved as she headed up to Karson’s room. His was on the third floor, the last room on the right. Being the captain and co-captain, Karson and Grady got the best room. It was basically a suite. It was so big, and Lacey was jealous every time she came over, since her and Rachel’s room was the size of their closet.
Knocking on the door, she pushed it open when Karson said come in. In only a pair of shorts, he met her at the door, kissing her softly on the lips. As they parted, Lacey found herself breathless as she took in each ab and muscle in his chest. Her boyfriend was gorgeous with clothes on, but it was easy to say she liked him better without.
“Missing a shirt, I see?”
He laughed as he shrugged, taking her jacket and throwing it on Grady’s bed. “I just got out of the shower and didn’t feel like finding one.”
“Oh,” she muttered as he wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in his scent and warmth. “Mmmm,” she whispered, cuddling closer and holding on to him. She needed this. Needed to feel him like this, especially after what had just happened with her dad.
“How did it go at your interview?”
He shrugged. “Good, I might end up going to Tampa. They like me a lot, and it would be fun to visit Florida, right?”
She grinned up at him. “Yeah, it would be. I love the beach.”
He smiled back before saying, “I do, too. Never know though, we’ll see.”
“I’m excited for you,” she said. He kissed her softly on her jaw before nibbling down her neck.
“I missed you,” he whispered into her neck. “Did you have fun at your dad’s?”
“Not really, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You sure?” he asked, placing a kiss below her ear before pulling back to look into her eyes.
She nodded, running her hands up his back and then down. “I missed you.”
His mouth curved into a grin as he ran his nose along hers. He touched his lips to hers, his hands sliding into the back pockets of her jeans as he deepened the kiss. Closing her eyes, she moved her mouth with his and then slowly reached back to lock the door. Pulling away, he eyed her as his grin grew.
“You know that won’t keep him out.”
“I don’t care,” she whispered as she returned her lips to his. She was ready for this. It was time, and she wanted to share this moment with him. She wanted to take their relationship to the next level. She loved and trusted him. Pulling away, she took his hand in hers and led him to his bed. Karson’s eyes searched hers as she lowered herself down and took in a deep breath, waiting for him to join her, but he didn’t move.
Running his hand through his hair, he asked, “Are you sure, Lacey?”
She slowly nodded. “Yeah, don’t you want to?”
“Fuck yeah, I do, I just don’t want to rush you.”
A smile pulled at her lips as she hooked her finger at him. They had lain in his bed countless times, watching TV and just fooling around, but this time was going to be different. This time she was going to give him all of her and hope that he didn’t reject her. Her heart was pounding and tears were gathering in her eyes, but she was ready. She wanted him, needed to feel him in the most intimate way.
“You’re not. Now come on, make love to me.”
That was all he needed to hear because, within seconds, he was crawling on top of her, pressing his hard length between her legs as he drew long, drugging kisses out of her. Running her shaky hands up his back, she tried to still her wildly beating heart but it was no use. Between Karson’s intoxicating kisses and the fact that he was about to see her breasts, her heart was beating louder than a drum.
Parting only an inch, Karson cupped her face in his hands as he held her gaze. “You’re shaking. Are you sure, baby? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”
“No, I�
��m just nervous.”
His brows cocked up as he ran his thumb along her bottom lip. “You have nothing to be nervous about. It’s just me. I love you.”
It was the first time he’d said it outright like that, and it totally stunned her. Usually, he would say, he was falling or that he was completely sprung for her, but never had he said those three words. Her stomach went nuts with butterflies, and her heart pounded against her chest as she held his gaze. “I love you, too.”
His grin grew as he said, “I thought you were going to leave me hanging.”
She laughed. “You know I love you. Isn’t it obvious?”
Dropping his head to hers, he slowly nodded before moving his lips along hers. “Yeah, I’ve known, but hearing you say it is better than scoring the winning goal, Lacey. I love you so damn much.”
He went to kiss her, but she knew it couldn’t go any further without telling him. Placing her finger against his lip, she whispered, “I need to tell you something before we go on.”
“Yeah?”
Biting into her lip, she knew she just had to say it. This was going to happen, and giving him a warning would be best. “You remember how I had breast cancer?”
He slowly nodded. “Yeah, it didn’t come back, did it? Is that why you had a bad time at your dad’s?” he asked, his eyes filling with panic as he placed his hands on the bed to push himself back on his haunches.
“No, not at all,” she said, trying to calm him down as she sat up, crossing her legs and placing her hands on his chest to soothe him. “It can’t come back in my breasts, Karson…since I don’t have any breasts. I had to have a double mastectomy a year ago.”
Without realizing it, her eyes filled with tears and she looked down at the bed to hide them. She couldn’t look at the shock on his face. It hurt her too much because she wasn’t sure what it meant. Was he thinking of an easy way out? Was he trying to figure out how to get out of bed with her without hurting her feelings? As seconds turned into minutes, she took in deep breaths and finally couldn’t take it anymore. Looking up, she met his confused gaze as he asked, “What? What do you mean? I’ve touched your boobs. I’ve grabbed them when we’ve made out.”