by Toni Aleo
“I do love me,” she admitted. “I just hate that I allowed him so much power.”
“He’s gone,” she said, squeezing her hand. “You are Lacey Martin, owner of the hottest lingerie store in the US. You are successful, beautiful, and simply amazing. No one has any power over you.”
Well, that wasn’t entirely true, but Lacey said, “You’re right.”
Rachel smiled as she wrapped her arms around Lacey’s waist, placing her chin on her shoulder. “Now what else is wrong?” she asked, her eyes locking with Lacey’s.
Rachel was one of those women people loved to hate. She not only was married to a successful, star hockey player, but she was gorgeous. She had big brown eyes that were always filled with love and dark brown curls that fell just to her chin in a chic way. Standing in Lacey’s white fifties pin-up style lace set that covered her midsection, Lacey could see that Rachel was thicker than she was when they first met freshman year, but that had a lot of do with the fact that she had been pregnant twice with Lacey’s nephews, Flynn and Zander, in the last six years.
“Nothing, I’m just in a mood,” she said, trying to downplay what was really the problem. She knew she was using the Ethan thing to cover up the real reason she was upset. Why she was always upset when he came to town.
She bit on her lip as Rachel nodded. “You’re always in a mood when the Nashville Assassins are in town.”
How did she do that?
That was an easy question to answer. They had been best friends her whole adult life. No one knew her like Rachel did.
Taking in a sharp breath, Lacey nodded as she looked down at the counter, tears stinging her eyes. She did her best not to mention him. She kept him locked tight in her heart, but as always, Rachel saw right through her. She hadn’t been lying all those years ago when she’d looked him in the eye and said that she would never be the same.
She hadn’t been since she’d watched him walk away, leaving her behind.
“Yeah, I don’t want to hash out all that again, haven’t done it in nine years, and today isn’t the day to do it. I’m sorry for being a bitch. Let’s go do this.”
“Okay,” Rachel said but didn’t let Lacey go like she expected her to. Instead, she held her gaze and said, “You’re not going to lock yourself away all weekend are you?”
Yes. “No, but I’m not going to the game.”
She never missed a Blackhawks home game, except when the Assassins were in town. She didn’t step foot anywhere near the arena when that team was here. She couldn’t chance it. She hadn’t seen him or spoken to him in nine years, and she wanted to keep it that way.
“I know that, but you’re still coming out tonight, right?”
She nodded. “Of course I am. It’s Grady’s birthday. I wouldn’t miss that.”
“Okay, are you going to leave the bitchy attitude at home?” she asked with a teasing smile.
With a smile, Lacey nodded. “I’ll try.”
It was actually harder than she thought to leave her bad mood at home. It seemed like the whole walk toward The Gage, Grady’s favorite restaurant, all Lacey saw were Nashville Assassins hockey jerseys. They were everywhere, the damn purple and black jerseys with the stupid ninja assassin guy on the front that she hated so much, visible at every turn. If Lacey didn’t know the game was tomorrow, she would have thought it was tonight. It honestly made no damn sense. Did the whole Assassins fan base drive up for the damn game? She wasn’t sure, but it sure did fuel her bitchy mood, especially when a familiar number sixteen jersey ended up walking in front of her. That had her breathless and made her walk a little faster and around them toward the restaurant.
She thought once she got around her family she would be good, but no such luck. Everyone was so happy, while she was anything but. Grady and Rachel were blissfully in love, still after so long, and of course they were the best parents to their beautiful boys, looking like a family off a Pottery Barn catalog. She should have known that night at her very first college party that Rachel was a goner when she met her big brother, but a part of her didn’t want to accept it. Even when they got married a year later, Lacey waited for someone to tell her it was all a joke. They just didn’t go together. Rachel was crazy OCD and Grady was a freaking pig, but they worked. Perfectly together. To the point that Lacey was insanely jealous of them.
Even her father, Nate Martin, had brought someone to dinner, his girlfriend, Sabrina. It was weird seeing him with someone other than her mother, but it had taken him at least twenty years just to date, so she kept her mouth shut while he was extremely happy with Sabrina. She fully expected them to get married, which would be the final nail in her coffin.
While everyone else was happy and in love, Lacey was alone, and if she was honest, lonely. It had been three years since she’d kicked Ethan to the curb; maybe it was time to start dating again. But as soon as the thought came, she pushed it away.
She didn’t want to date. She didn’t want to put herself out there again just to be hurt in the end. She had been there, done that, twice, and she was done with all that. Maybe it was time to get a dog, or a cat, or turtle. Maybe she needed a vacation, somewhere tropical, where she could sleep with someone there and not worry about what they thought of her body as long as they got her off. Or hell, give her a vibrator and a good erotic novel, and she’d be fine on her own. That was the only way she’d been getting off lately, and now that she thought about it, that’s probably the way she’d end the night.
Yes, she was envious that everyone else got to go home and bang it out with their significant other, but, oh well, it wasn’t in her cards. She was meant to be alone, and the faster she accepted that, the better.
“How was the shoot today, ladies?” her father asked.
“Went great,” Rachel said with a grin, her face burning with a little color.
He looked over at Lacey. “You happy, princess?”
Lacey smiled at her childhood nickname as she nodded. “Yeah, it’s going to be great.”
“Can’t wait to see it,” he said and Lacey smiled.
“You all right, Lacey?” Grady asked and she nodded.
“Fine.”
“You’ve been quiet,” he said, taking a pull of his beer.
She shrugged. “Lots on my mind.” By the look Grady gave her, he knew exactly what was on her mind. Leaning back in her seat with her wine glass in hand, she took in a deep breath and let it out. Glancing at her phone, she saw that it was nearly nine and hoped that Grady would say it was time to go soon.
“Lacey, darling,” Sabrina said, bringing Lacey’s attention away from her phone. “Are you dating anyone?”
Shaking her head, she said, “I’m not at the current moment.”
Or ever.
“My nephew, Richard, would love to meet you,” she said and Lacey shook her head.
“No, thank you, I’m too busy with work.”
“Don’t let work take over your life. It’s lonely, princess,” her father said and she nodded.
“I know, but at least my work will love me, no matter what. Men, not so much,” she said with a tip of her glass toward him. He gave her a tight smile that told her he was not happy with that response. Too bad she didn’t care.
“Mr. Right is out there,” Sabrina said, causing Lacey to laugh.
“I think Mr. Right had a one-way ticket out of Chicago and never looked back. But I’m fine on my own, no worries,” she said, and she didn’t miss the way her father and brother tensed up.
“It’s good he’s gone,” her father said. “He didn’t deserve you.”
“That’s your opinion,” Lacey said through tight lips.
“Who are we speaking of? Ethan?” Sabrina asked and Lacey laughed.
“Hardly. While he didn’t deserve me, he isn’t the one we are talking about.”
“No one important, honey,” Nate said with a shake of his head, but Lacey couldn’t disagree more.
He was important, he was the love of her life, and he j
ust chose to leave her. To this day, she still didn’t understand what happened. They were so in love, so happy, but then he just left her. The rejection had kept her in hiding for years, but every once in a while, she got the idea of flying to Nashville and finding him and demanding answers. It was too late for all that though. It had been so long, but still Lacey’s heart yearned for him. She missed him, and that alone was crazy.
An awkward silence fell over the table, except for Zander and Flynn, who were playing, not knowing what the adults were talking about. Looking away from her father’s eyes, Lacey felt her own get misty with tears. How did she still miss him after all these years?
Ugh, she needed to go home.
Draining her glass, she stood suddenly and reached for her jacket.
“You’re leaving?” Rachel asked, surprised, as Lacey went to Grady, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“Yeah, I’m tired. Happy birthday, Grady. Goodnight, everyone. Bye, boys,” she said and then kissed and loved on everyone, despite their protests, before heading out into the cold air. Taking in a deep breath, she let it out and welcomed the bite of the cold against her face. Wrapping her scarf around her neck tighter, she pulled her knit hat down over her ears and walked out to the street to hail a cab.
She should have stayed home tonight. There was no way of knowing that her father would have brought him up, but now her heart just ached. She had been hoping that she would get to work on her erotic novel and vibrator, but now it looked like she’d be going home, pulling out her box of him and crying the whole night.
Pathetic.
Ugh. Closing her eyes to fight back the tears, she wondered when she would be over him. Was it because there was no closure between them? He’d just left. Didn’t give her a good reason for why he was leaving. Just said that it was better for her for him to leave. Why? Why was it better? It made no sense. He was on the fast track. He went straight into the NHL—didn’t start in the AHL like Grady had. His contract with the Lightning was a thing of beauty, and when he got traded to the Assassins, his contract was even better. They would have been set for life, but instead, he’d left her behind.
Why?
Wiping away the stupid tear that fell, she watched as a cab pulled up and she reached for the door. But as she got in the cab and sat down, someone else sat down beside her, having entered the cab from the other side. Someone big, someone who filled the whole side of the cab. Not that she cared; this was her damn cab.
“Excuse me, this is my cab,” she said, but when a pair of caramel eyes that she could never forget met hers, everything inside her went blazing hot. Sitting beside her wasn’t just some jackass who was trying to steal her cab—no, it was the love of her life.
The same love of her life who’d left her behind.
“Karson.”
His name on her lips was a billion times better than the cheers from the thousands of Assassins fans when he’d lifted the Stanley Cup above his head two years ago.
This. Was. Not. Happening.
All Karson could do was blink as he got lost in the pale green eyes of the girl he loved more than life itself. When he opened the door and the woman fell into the seat, he was about to ask if they could share since he had to leave. He had to get back to the hotel. After having a dinner full of thoughts of Lacey and ignoring his friends, he figured some drinking would help him calm down.
It didn’t.
It made it worse. The thoughts were coming in waves, drowning him with everything Lacey, and he couldn’t take it. The next thing he knew he was calling it a night at nine o’clock, something that didn’t happen when he was out with the boys. He didn’t understand why this time was different, but maybe it was different because the powers above knew that when he got into this cab, he would see her.
See the love of his life.
And man, what a fucking sight to see.
Her Facebook pictures didn’t do her justice. Her eyes, so round and such a phenomenal green they had him fighting for his next breath. She had aged; she wasn’t the baby-faced young woman he’d fallen for. No, she was a woman now with laugh lines that had his stomach turning with jealousy at the thought of the person who’d put them there. Her lips were painted a delectable dark red that made her face look paler but still oh so beautiful. Her long blond locks were curled down her shoulders, covered with a dark blue beanie and a matching scarf that wrapped around her neck twice. She had that deer-in-headlights look, and he was sure his expression matched hers.
But this was fate.
He always said too, when he saw her again that he wouldn’t think, he would just do.
So he did just that.
Taking her face in his hands, he pressed his lips to hers and almost cried at how right it felt. When her hand came on top of his, he deepened the kiss, getting lost in the splendor that was Lacey Martin. His heart. Her lips were as soft as he remembered…and the taste. Sweet Jesus above. She tasted like heaven. He never wanted to stop; he wanted to die with her lips on his. He knew then that he could die a happy man.
He probably should have made sure she wasn’t dating anyone or maybe said hi first, but ah, he was an act first, think later kind of guy. And by the way she was kissing him back, he was sure there wasn’t someone else. As his thumbs brushed along her cheekbones, he deepened the kiss even more, basically feeding from her succulent mouth, drinking in her sweetness, and never wanting to drink anything else for the rest of his life.
He wanted to pull her from the cab and take her somewhere he could devour her body. Make her scream his name instead of saying it in shock. He wanted to bury himself so deep inside her just to feel the connection that he only got to experience once with her. He craved it. Needed it. But what if that was a bad idea? Maybe he should take it slow. But the only thing he could hear roaring in his head was that Lacey was his. Had always been his.
“Folks, where am I going?”
Karson tried to ignore the driver, moving his tongue along her bottom lip, not able to get enough before kissing her again.
“Folks! Tell me where I’m going or get the hell out of my cab.”
Tearing her mouth from his, she looked deep into his eyes, both their breathing erratic as they searched each other’s gaze. He didn’t want to stop, and he cursed the cabbie to Mordor for interrupting them.
He didn’t know what to say, but thankfully, she said, “Where is your hotel?”
He could only blink. “What?”
“Hotel? Where is it?”
“By the arena,” he answered, still stunned. Was she doing what he was praying to God she was doing?
“Too far,” she muttered and then said an address that he assumed was hers. To say that Karson was stunned was an understatement. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but when she looked back at him, lust swimming in the depths of her green eyes, he knew that his dreams, or prayers, really, were going to be realized. Especially when her mouth met his again. Something rumbled in his throat as he deepened the kiss, his hand sliding up the nape of her neck under the scarf to the back of her hair, his fingers tangling in her thick, luscious, blond locks. It was easy to say that his imagination, or memories, for that matter, didn’t live up to the feel of this sweet woman in his arms. All of his senses were coming alive for the first time in years. His cock strained in his pants, begging to be inside her. His heart was pounding in his chest as he pulled her closer, his hand coming around her waist to hold her tighter. He could feel her shaking, feel her heart slamming against her chest, and he took pride in the fact that he caused that.
When the car jerked to a stop, she pulled away and opened her purse, but he stopped her. Placing his hand on her purse, he shook his head.
“No, baby,” he said while pulling out his wallet and throwing a couple twenties to the cabbie. “Wait,” he asked and then got out, coming around, happy that she did as he asked. Looking around, he saw that they were in front of some ritzy-looking apartment complex, one he walked past earlier that evening to go to din
ner. One he always passed. She had been there the whole time, and he didn’t know it? He was always so close, but now, close wouldn’t be the word he would use to describe what would happen once they were upstairs.
They would be one.
Opening the door for her, he took her hand in his and pulled her to his chest. Slamming the door, his hand slid up her back as his mouth crashed against hers. Moving his lips along hers, he closed his eyes tightly, willing God to not let this be a dream. To allow this gift to be real, and when he pulled back, looking down into her flushed face and smile, he knew.
This was real.
Her eyes searched his, as if she didn’t believe he was real either, but he planned to prove just that as soon as they got to her apartment.
“Let’s get out of the cold.”
She nodded briskly and started for inside, but he didn’t let her get far. Stopping her, he took her hand in his, lacing his fingers with hers. Her eyes looked at where their hands were joined and then back up to meet his gaze. When a small little smile curved the side of her mouth, he felt like he had been hit in the chest with a puck.
Good God, she was magnificent.
Tearing her gaze from him, she started for the building. When they entered through the large glass entrance, the guard said, “Good evening, Ms. Martin.”
“Good evening, Oscar. Have a good night.”
“You too, ma’am,” he said, his eyes wide as he took in Karson.
He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he wasn’t really worried about it. His mind was solely on Lacey. Heading to the glass elevator, he was curious to see if the whole apartment complex was made only of glass. If so, Lord help anyone who was awake because they were sure to get a show.
When the doors shut, he watched as she pressed the penthouse button before entering her card and typing a code. Impressive. She had made something of herself, and pride burned in his veins. That’s what he wanted. He wanted her to have the best of everything, and while he was sure he could have given it to her, he was glad she’d done it for herself.