by Toni Aleo
And not knowing the answer was killing him.
Karson was proud of himself.
He left his issues with Lacey at the door and was playing some damn good hockey. As he sailed across the ice, Shea at his right, he moved the puck with the blade of his stick while waiting for his forwards to set up. The played called for Brooks to crash the net after Karson shot, but it wasn’t going to work. He didn’t have a clear shot. So without looking, he acted like he was going to shoot, but instead, he sailed the puck to Shea and he took the shot without even thinking, Karson suspected. When it flew through the goalie’s five-hole, Karson threw his arms up in the air as Shea pointed to him with a grin on his face.
“Great pass, King,” he said, tapping Karson’s head when he reached him. With a grin on his face, he congratulated his linemates before heading to the bench for another round of congratulations. With that goal, it put the Assassins up by two against the Ducks. Tate was hoping for a shutout, and Karson was all about giving him one. Gotta keep his goalie happy.
Sitting on the bench, he squirted some water in his mouth as he watched the Assassins fight off the Ducks. Since they were down two and it was only the second period, he figured they were trying to get some momentum, but the Assassins weren’t going to let them get it. Thoughts of Lacey tried to sneak back in, but Karson pushed them away. He hoped she was watching, but he wasn’t going to stress if she wasn’t. She was with her dad. Having a grand fucking time.
Shaking his head, Karson leaned back and squirted more water in his mouth. As it dripped down his chin, he wished he could just let it go. She was coming home. She was going to adjust, and they were going to be fucking happy together. That’s all there was to it, damn it. Clearing his mind of all those negative thoughts because he had a damn game to win, he watched as his teammates fought to get the puck out of their zone.
Stealing the puck, Titov raced up the ice and had a two on one, but somehow there was miscommunication because the Ducks got the puck back, sailing back up the ice. Thankfully though, Tate was there, fighting off the three shots. JT tried to clear the zone, but then a Ducks player stopped it and shot it, though it rebounded off Tate’s left leg pad. JT cut left and raced to the puck to clear it, but so did another player. The player somehow tripped JT up, and before he even crashed into the wall, Karson knew it was going to be bad.
But nothing could prepare him for the sounds of JT’s pure agony or the image of his leg lying lifeless in a way that wasn’t natural.
No, he wasn’t ready for that.
Her father and Sabrina were getting married.
Yay.
While she wanted to be excited for her father and the big, glitzy wedding they were planning, Lacey couldn’t muster up those feelings. It was clear that her father was extremely happy, and she knew he would be. He loved Sabrina, but it still bothered her. It should have been her mother sitting beside him. She should be the one to move his hair back to the side. The one to look at Lacey with all the love in the world and tell her how proud she was of her. She should be there. But she wasn’t.
And it still gutted Lacey umpteen years later.
While dinner was nice and she enjoyed spending time with her father and his new fiancée, she hated the way any time she brought up Karson, they changed the subject. It was essentially the Sabrina and Nate show, and it was annoying as hell. She wanted to talk about her house, about how Karson was playing on the first line that night, and how she couldn’t wait to get home to him, but she basically wasn’t allowed to. It irritated her to no end, and the first chance she got to leave, she took it.
She knew that her father was upset she left so suddenly, but she was just burnt out. After a full day of shopping, hanging with her friends, and spoiling her nephews, dinner with the newly engaged couple was the last thing she wanted to do. What she wanted to do was cuddle up in Karson’s clothes and watch him kick ass on the ice. She only caught the first period, but he looked amazing and she knew he would continue kicking some major Ducks ass.
A grin sat on her face as she pushed open her apartment door and locked it behind her. Looking around the apartment, it felt so dull. She used to love this place. It was her own sanctuary of loneliness, but after sharing a home with Karson, she found herself missing his socks laying all over the place and the many cups of water that he left everywhere. She missed him; she always did.
Being back in Chicago was great though. Yeah, it was colder than a snowman’s balls, but she couldn’t help but miss it. Nashville had great weather and she loved how it didn’t know what it wanted to be weather-wise, but she loved the bite that Chicago gave her. Her beautiful city always kept her on her toes. Also seeing all her friends, visiting the store, and seeing all her clients caused her to be a little misty-eyed. She missed this place, but it wasn’t home without Karson.
Home was where your heart was.
And her heart was with Karson.
It was that simple.
While she couldn’t wait to go home to welcome him, she was going to enjoy Chicago and get her fill before returning back. She would treasure her time with her friends and steal as many kisses from her nephews as she could. She would make the next week last her until she came back, but maybe by then she wouldn’t miss it as much as she had. It had been hard, but she knew that it was because of all the changes. She didn’t do change before Karson, but since being back with him, that’s all she had done. Change after change, and while, yes, it was good and she was happy, it was all a little crazy.
But it was their crazy.
Hanging her coat up and then her scarf, she saw the pile of mail Grady said he had dropped off. Picking up the pile, she went to the counter to open it all. She would need to call to have her mail forwarded now that they’d moved into their house. There was no reason to keep mail going to her apartment, especially when they wouldn’t be renewing the lease. It worried her a bit to do that since she wouldn’t have her own space to stay when she came to check on the store, but then again, it gave her more time with her nephews since she would stay with Rachel and Grady.
Just thinking of Rachel, a grin formed. It was like they hadn’t been fighting for the last month, and Lacey couldn’t stop being giddy from it. She was thankful that Rachel had let it go and that she had apologized. Whenever Karson called, Lacey planned to tell him that Rachel was completely genuine. It was honestly like they were back in college. She asked questions about Karson for hours, and it was great to talk to a fellow hockey wife who went through the same things Lacey was going through now.
Lacey had everything she wanted, and life was good.
She just hoped it stayed that way.
She and Karson still hadn’t spoken about the kid thing since that night in bed, and she wasn’t sure if he’d forgotten or if he was waiting for her to speak to him. If that was the case, he would be waiting a long time. She knew that was wrong, but why ruin a good thing? They were happy and they were adjusting to being apart. Soon they would be pros and the time would fly by until the moment they were together. It was going to be fine. Great even, and then they would discuss the kid issue. Even then, they would work it out. That’s what they had to do because they belonged together.
Still smiling, she flipped through her mail that was mostly junk mail until she came to a letter from her doctor. Her brows came up as she opened the letter to find that her doctor needed her to come in for further testing because her levels were off. As her stomach sank, she sucked in a deep breath, rereading the letter. Checking the time, she figured it wasn’t too late to call the doctor who had been her physician for as long as she could remember and who was also a close friend of the family.
He answered on the second ring. “Why are you calling me at nine o’clock, Lacey Martin?”
She smiled. “It’s Lacey King now.”
“Oh really, no invite for your favorite doctor?”
“We eloped.”
“How very spontaneous of you. I’m surprised I haven’t seen your father
for a heart attack,” he joked and Lacey giggled.
“Me too, actually. Anyway, I was calling because of this letter I got a week ago. Why didn’t anyone call me?”
He paused for a moment and then said, “You know I was thinking of you the other day. I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you yet. I need you to come in.”
She felt like her stomach flip-flopped in her body as she asked, “Is it serious?”
“Eh, it could be.”
Swallowing past the lump, she asked, “On a scale from one to cancer, what are we at?”
“Maybe a seven. I’m not sure, but your blood work was all over the place. I’m hoping it’s nothing too serious and I can fix you up with some meds,” he said softly, but Lacey’s heart wasn’t slowing down any. “But if it’s cancer though, we’ll kick its ass again. Don’t worry. How about you come in Monday? I’ll have my receptionist call you.”
Lacey scoffed, trying not to think the worst. He didn’t sound that worried, so hopefully she would be okay. “Will she actually call me this time?”
“Yeah, I’ll make sure of it, and believe me, this won’t happen again. I’m sorry for the mix-up.”
She nodded. “No biggie. It might only be cancer,” she teased, but he didn’t laugh and that made her more nervous.
“We will see. I’ll see you Monday.”
“Okay,” she agreed before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. Sitting on the barstool, tears gathered in her eyes. Her body felt like it was tingling everywhere and she couldn’t catch her breath. Things had been looking so good, and like she thought it would…
The other shoe dropped.
Her hand was shaking as she reached for the phone to call Karson. Wiping away a tear that had rolled down her cheek, she bit into her lip as she waited for him to answer the phone. It took a second, but it felt like eternity. Finally, he answered, and when he did, she knew something was wrong.
“Hey,” he said in almost a whisper. “Hold on.”
“Okay?”
She paused as she waited for him and finally he said, “Hey, sorry, I’m at the hospital.”
“Why?” she said, panic lacing her voice. “Are you okay?”
“Did you not watch the game?”
“No, only the first period. My dad wouldn’t let me do anything but listen to their crap. But that doesn’t matter, are you okay?”
“Yeah, baby, I’m fine, I promise.”
“Okay, then why are you there?” she asked, her heart slowing down a little bit.
“JT shattered his leg in the game tonight,” he said sadly and her heart dropped.
“Oh no, is he going to be okay?”
“They aren’t sure if he’ll play again, but he will walk. It’s bad though. He’s laid up right now, stoned out of his mind.”
“Oh my God, what happened?”
Karson explained the play and how it was one of the scariest things he had ever seen. Lacey’s heart broke not only for JT but also for Karson. He was understandably upset; the guy was an asshole, but he was Karson’s asshole. And, she guessed, hers as well. “He was trying to hold in his pain, but man, Lacey, his leg was laying a whole different way. It was bad.”
“That’s so scary,” she cried and she almost laughed. Who would have thought that she would be crying over Jordie Thomas? When she met him a month ago, she would have never thought this moment would come, but it had. Jordie was family. “Are you okay?”
“I’m shaken up. Worried about him and I’m dog-tired, but yeah, I’m okay. Hearing your voice makes it better.”
She smiled and knew she couldn’t tell him about her appointment. He was already worried about his friend; she couldn’t add her own issue on top of that. Especially when it was probably nothing. She was fine. It wasn’t cancer, and there was no reason to have her husband worked up over nothing. She’d have Rachel go and everything would be okay.
No reason to worry at all.
But when Monday came and Lacey sat on the little bench in Dr. Bellows’s office, she was bursting at the seams with worry. After a weekend of ultimate hell trying to think where the cancer could be because she didn’t feel any different, she was basically freaking the hell out. She spent most of Saturday self-diagnosing herself and then Sunday debunking her diagnosis. Some people really needed to stay off WebMD, and Lacey was one of them.
Every time she talked to Karson, she wanted to tell him, but he was so worried about his friend. JT had surgery, but then they flew him back to Nashville for another one while the guys headed to Arizona. Because he was so worried about JT and then playing well, she hadn’t told him, even though she knew she should have. Hell, she wished she had, and now she sat in the doctor’s office with Rachel driving her insane.
“This is nerve-racking,” Rachel said for the hundredth time.
Lacey nodded. “Yeah, you’re not making it any better,” she said with a forgiving smile.
Rachel giggled nervously. “Sorry.”
“No biggie He’ll be in soon, no big deal.”
“It kinda is. Like, why isn’t Karson here?”
Lacey bit the inside of her cheek before taking in a deep breath. “He has a game tomorrow and his friend is hurt. He has a lot going on.”
“But you’re his wife, you trump everything.”
“I know,” she said, not wanting to admit that she hadn’t told him. “But there was no reason to get worked up. There is nothing wrong.”
“If there was nothing wrong, we wouldn’t be here,” she muttered and Lacey glared.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious. If you don’t want to be here, you can leave,” she snapped, but it was all her nerves. She didn’t mean to be so brusque, but Rachel was stressing her the hell out.
“I’m sorry. I’m just worried,” she said, not meeting Lacey’s gaze.
“I am too,” she whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. When her phone signaled a text, she hit the screen to see it was Karson.
Karson: Busy?
Lacey: Yeah, I’ll call you in a bit.
Karson: Okay, I love you.
Her lip wobbled as the tears streamed down her face. She didn’t want to have cancer again. No one did, she knew that, but she had so much to live for. She just got Karson back. She didn’t want to lose him and put him through that kind of pain. Biting into her lip and reminding herself that she was just fine, she wrote him back.
Lacey: I love you more.
Wiping her hand along her cheek, she tucked her phone between her legs and took in a deep breath. Then she waited. And waited and waited. She was so frustrated and on pins and needles that when the door opened, she almost came out of her skin. Dr. Bellows was a thin older man, with gray hair and a gray mustache that he curled at the tips. Wearing black-rimmed glasses, he carried Lacey’s chart in his hand, flipping through the papers as he dropped down on his stool. The tension was unreal, and Lacey could hear her heartbeat in her ears.
“Well,” he said quietly, moving the papers up and around the file. “Looks like it’s not cancer.”
“Oh, thank God,” Rachel cried out, raising her hands like she was praising the good Lord above.
Lacey sucked in a deep breath before wiping her face and letting out her breath in a whoosh. When she felt someone’s hand on her back, she let go. She had been holding it in all weekend, telling herself that she was fine, and she was. But at that moment, it was like she was taken back to the time when she sat on that bench and Dr. Bellows’s diagnosis was way different. She remembered the shock she felt, the way her father didn’t understand, and how everything seemed to stand still. All she could remember was the chemo, the pain, and then the surgery that took her breasts. She could still see the look of pure heartache on her dad’s and brother’s faces. The way they cried when she did and how they begged for answers. She could still feel the sobs that would crash out of her because some days she wished she would just die, but then others she begged to stay alive. There was something worth living for out there, and she didn’t know i
t at the time, but it was Karson.
Sucking in a deep breath, her body shook as she sat up to see that it wasn’t Rachel comforting her, but Dr. Bellows. “You okay, Lacey? You heard me, right? It isn’t cancer.”
“Yeah,” she nodded, wiping her face. “I was convinced it was, though.”
“Eh, I was a little worried, but thankfully it isn’t. You have a guardian angel looking after you.”
Her lip started to wobble again as she slowly nodded.
Her mom.
After learning of her new diagnosis, which was a very mild case of hypercalcemia, Lacey walked with Rachel to the car in silence. There was so much information that Dr. Bellows had overloaded her with, and while she was glad it wasn’t cancer, hypercalcemia seemed like a pain in the ass. A manageable pain in the ass, but a pain nonetheless. She was going to be fine though, and she was thankful for that. Just a new morning med and blood work every month to make sure her levels were good.
“That was intense, but I am so glad you are okay,” Rachel said, wrapping her up in a tight hug.
Smiling, Lacey hugged her back tighter. “Me too, thank you for coming and driving me insane.”
“Anytime. I’m sorry I had to be your stand-in for you husband,” she said, and the way she said it was almost like a jab. Or maybe she was being paranoid like Karson. She wasn’t sure, but one thing was for certain, she didn’t like the way Rachel said that.
“No reason to drag him all the way here for nothing. I am fine.”
“You didn’t seem fine. I’m pretty sure you thought you had cancer, but it’s whatever. It’s over with.”
Lacey looked away as she shrugged. “You’re right, it is over with. Got my prescription and I’m ready to get my levels all normal. Thanks anyway for coming.”
“Anytime. I’ll call you. I gotta go meet Zander for lunch.”
“Give him a kiss for me,” Lacey said, expecting Rachel to turn to leave but she just kept grinning at Lacey. “What?”