by Toni Aleo
Her heart sank since she knew there was something more he wanted. “A child?”
Meeting her gaze, his eyes looked sternly into hers as he said, “Let’s nip this kid thing in the bud real quick, okay?”
She could only blink as his hands slid into the waistband of her PJ pants. Her heart started to race because this was the one thing she thought would keep them apart, but by the way he was looking at her, she knew that she was completely wrong. They would work it out even though she had seen no way of that ever happening.
“Did it ever cross your pretty mind that we could adopt?”
“You don’t want that. You want a child of your own.”
“No, I want to watch you be a mother. I want to love a little person with you and raise them to be a fantastic adult. Together.”
Her lip started to quiver as she nodded. “I would love that, but I know you want a child of your own. Hell, I would love one too, but it just scares me so much.”
“I know, baby, but just think of it this way. If it is a girl, then she will be the strongest little shit in the world. Yeah, her grandma didn’t win the fight, but her momma did, and you’ll teach her to be strong. We will be proactive, teach her about everything you went through, and if, by God, it happens, we will fight. Together,” he promised as the tears spilled over her cheeks. “Nothing can stop us as long as we have each other.”
He made it sound so easy, so perfect, but could it be?
“The main thing, Lacey, is that we have to do this together. We have to make the decision together. We have to work together because we will fail if we don’t. You can’t run off or shut down every time you get scared. Talk to me; let me help you fix it because that’s what I am here for. If you need counseling to help with the years that the cancer took, then, baby, tell me and I’ll be right beside you, holding your hand. I am here to love you and support you. That’s my job, and if you don’t depend on me, then what am I supposed to do?”
She didn’t know how to answer him, so she didn’t as her gaze stayed locked with his, her heart clanking against her ribs. She could feel her body vibrating with each beat her heart took. Maybe she could use some counseling. It worked for other people, but she hadn’t gotten it because her dad wouldn’t allow her. It scared her, but with the thought of having Karson beside her, holding her hand and comforting her through all the pain, she knew she could do it. All she needed was him.
Holding her face, his thumbs wiped away her tears as he said, “I can’t promise you today or even tomorrow because I don’t know what the future holds, but, Lacey, I’ll love you no matter what. You bring out the best in me, and I don’t want anyone but you. Every single second of every day I’ll love you, and I’ll never stop.”
“I won’t either,” she vowed as she held him close. “I’ll love you no matter what.”
“Good, then we’ll be fine.”
She nodded slowly as he hugged her tightly. Closing her eyes, she nuzzled her face in his neck, her arms so tight around him, needing him more than he would ever know. He would never realize how much good he did her. How he took her soul and polished it up to perfection. He made her a better person. He gave her the strength and the love she needed.
Kissing his neck, she remembered what Grady had said earlier and cleared her throat before whispering, “My mom had me even after fighting cancer because she said she wanted to live a life that she was proud of, and she knew that a child would do that for her.”
Pulling back, he cupped her jaw as his eyes bored into hers. Swallowing past her sob, she admitted, “I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do that. How can I put a death sentence on our child?”
He scoffed. “You’re stronger,” he urged, cupping her jaw. “I know you are scared, baby, I get it, but how can you not have a baby if you want one? Yeah, it could happen, but what if it doesn’t? That’s years of joy we would miss out on, and you’ll regret that. Didn’t we say we didn’t want to live with regret anymore?”
She nodded. “We did.”
“Then tell me, baby, do you want to have a child?”
She did. So fucking bad. Always had. She always imagined having Karson’s baby. Carrying it in her body and loving it more than she loved herself. As the tears fell in streams down her face, she nodded, holding his gaze. “Yes.”
“Then let’s do it. Your mom was right. This is the only life we get, and together it will be the best life we can make it. Just never forget that I’ll be right there with you, helping you, supporting you. I’ll be here as long as you want me.”
“And when I don’t, you’ll come out after me,” she added and he smiled.
“Always.”
Her stomach went nuts with butterflies as she looked deep into his eyes. Could they really do this and throw all caution in the wind? Would they be okay? One thing was for sure, she knew she could do anything with Karson beside her.
“My life is complete with you in it.”
“So is mine, and that’s why we have to work for this. Things that are worth a damn aren’t easy. You have to work at it, you have to nurture it and take care of it, or it will go to hell. And we can’t let that happen,” he said, his eyes watering a bit as he gazed into her face. “And I won’t. But I’m not going to lie. It’s gonna be hard. It’s gonna suck sometimes, but as long as we work together, we will be okay.”
“You’re right.”
“I know,” he said with a wink. “But my main concern is making you happy. While I would love to toss you up on this counter and try to get you pregnant, I know you need time to accept that we are going to do it. That we are going to welcome a child, our child, into this world and love it with all our hearts.”
When a tear rolled down his chiseled face, she came undone, her heart aching with love for him as he said, “I honestly can’t wait for that moment, and I know it’s going to be the second best thing I’ve ever done.”
Wiping away his tears, she asked, “What was the first?”
“You.”
She gasped for breath as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. “Never fails, you’ve always been the one to sweep me off my feet, no matter what.”
“That’s damn right, wife, and that will never change,” he said with a wink. “Now let’s get you packed and get you home.”
Smiling, she kissed his lips hard, their hearts beating as one. “Great plan, husband.”
And it was. Did she have any kind of idea how their life would pan out? Nope, not at all, but as long as she was with Karson, it would be the life she needed. There was still so much to learn about each other and so much that could go wrong, but she didn’t care. She didn’t make a mistake taking the leap and marrying him after being apart for so long. A little voice inside her had told her it was the right decision, and she believed wholeheartedly that it was her mom. It had been hard, but she knew it was worth it. He was worth it.
Because he was it.
Her forever.
By the tenth novel, I’m pretty sure my family and friends know I love them.
Just in case though: Michael, Mikey, Alyssa, and Nick—y’all are my everything and I love you so much.
Noey, Dad, Kristina, and Patsy, thank you and I love you.
Bobbie, Nortis, and Stacey, y’all are my best friends and I love you so much.
My editor, Lisa, you’re not only my editor, you’re my friend, and I’m so blessed to have you. Thank you for helping me grow, pick out covers, and for being totally awesome. Couldn’t be that without you.
My cover designer, Regina, I swear to everything holy, you are amazing! This cover rocks, you rock!
Thank you! My authors, you know who you are and why I love you.
My readers, this couldn’t be done without you. I love you. All of you. With all my heart. Thank you.
Ed Sheeran, you rock, dude, love you to pieces.
My mom, there isn’t a second that passes that I don’t wish you could be here celebrating my accomplishments. I love you, Mo
m. Thank you and I miss you so much.
Upcoming from Toni Aleo
Want more of Karson and Lacey? Even Kasey and the rest of the Assassins gang?! Well tune in December 10, 2014 for A Very Merry Hockey Holiday, an Asssassins Novella!
A Very Hockey Holiday (Assassins 7.5)
Becoming the Whiskey Princess (Taking Risk Novel 2)
Clipped by Love (Bellevue 2)
And a brand new series is coming in 2015 from Toni Aleo
The Spring Grove Novels
Bring on the cowboys!
Make sure to check out these titles and more on Toni’s website.
Or connect with Toni on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, Instagram and more!
Also make sure to join the mailing list for up to date news from the desk of Toni Aleo.
A little snippit of A Very Merry Hockey Holiday
Shea and Elli
The Adler residence not only looked like Santa crapped all over it with Christmas decorations but it also looked like a tornado had gone through it. Wrapping paper and toys covered every square inch of their living room, but Shea Adler didn’t care.
His family was happy.
Like they had done for the last seven years, they woke up at the butt-crack of dawn and surrounded the tree, passing out gifts. With each year, it became more hectic though. When it had been just him and his gorgeous wife, Elli, it was easy but consisted of a lot of sex under the tree. Then Shelli came, again easy. Then Posey, still easy, but when the twins came, things started to get a little rowdy. By the time Quinn came, it was a mess. Lots of tearing of wrapping paper and lots of screaming, but he didn’t care. The kids were always happy.
And he actually liked the chaos.
“Mommy, I love it! Thank you! Daddy, you’re the greatest!” Shelli exclaimed as she held up her new iPad.
“But I want an iPad, Daddy!” Posey complained.
“Open the box, honey,” Shea said softly. She did then gave him a sheepish grin.
“Thank you, Daddy,” she giggled, holding up her iPad.
“You’re welcome, honey,” he said as Elli leaned against him.
She looked gorgeous with her hair a mess and in his big Assassins tee with long pants. Her feet were covered by the new reindeer socks that Quinn had gotten her. She had on earmuffs that the girls gave her and also gloves that the twins had picked out.
“Warm and toasty?” he asked and she grinned.
“Oh yes, my kiddos give the best gifts, don’t you think?”
He chuckled as she looked him over. He was wearing a big, bright purple scarf that the girls had selected, along with knee-high hockey socks that the twins had gotten him, and reindeer slippers. He looked like a total loser, but he wore his gifts with pride. “I say I think you are right.”
She smiled before leaning up to press her lips to his. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned her forehead against his jaw as they watched the kids tear open presents and cheer when they got something they wanted. He always loved when they got clothes though. Their faces were priceless. Especially Owen’s. He didn’t hold anything back and made sure they all knew that a gift wasn’t what he wanted. Shelli was kind and always thanked them for things even if she didn’t want it. Which didn’t happen a lot.
Just to mess with her though, he got her a Ninja Turtle, and when she opened it, she asked if it was for one of the boys. He told her no, it was for her, and her face was something for the books. He’d never laughed so hard in his life before telling her it was his, when really, he was going to give it to one of the rookies. The others kids were just happy to get to open presents, and he enjoyed that they were so ecstatic. They still had Christmas with his family later that night, and they were even going to Elli’s dad’s house the following day, which would be awkward because her mom and sister would be there. Since they were still trying to suck up to Elli, he was sure that they would get something overly extravagant for the kids, and he hated that. They didn’t have to buy the kids’ love or Elli’s, they just had to be good to them.
That was obviously hard for Victoria and Olivia Fisher.
Kissing his beautiful wife’s forehead, he said, “Wanna open my gift?”
“You got me something?” she asked sweetly and he smiled.
“You know I did. You probably already know what it is,” he said, getting up and going to the tree to retrieve the gift.
“I really don’t,” she reassured him as he handed her the large box. “Shelli, baby, hand me Daddy’s gift.”
“Got me something?” he teased and she shot him a grin.
“You know I did. I love Christmas.”
That she did. It was her favorite holiday, and that was one of the main reason he wished they weren’t going to Michael Fisher’s house. He didn’t want her sister and mother to ruin Elli’s favorite holiday.
When the kids stopped opening their gifts and gathered around them, Shea nodded toward Elli for her to go.
“No, you go first,” she said, basically jumping in her seat. “I’m so excited for you to see what it is.”
To please her, he nodded and opened the box. It was a watch box, and when he opened it to the expensive-looking watch, he smiled. “Thank you. I needed a new watch.”
“That’s not even the best part, look at the base.”
His brows pulled together as he focused on the watch to see that it not only had the time but a picture of Elli and the kids. “And the inscription,” she added.
He smiled as he read the inside of the watch: To the best daddy in the world. We love you. So much.
His grin grew as he put the watch on, looking over at Elli. “I love it. Thank you.”
He then leaned over, kissing her lips as the kids giggled and some said ew. Parting, she grinned as she bounced in her seat.
“Your turn.”
“What is it?” she asked as she pulled the wrapping off.
“A horse,” Shea deadpanned and she giggled. “Open it and see.”
Her grin was unstoppable as she torn open the box. When she looked inside, he smiled when a perplexed look came over her face. Pulling out a smaller box, she glanced at him and he chuckled.
“You thought it was that mixer, huh?”
“Maybe,” she said slowly as she started to unwrap the smaller box.
“It’s under the tree,” he answered and her face lit up.
“Then what is this?”
“Open it and see.”
The kids were basically bouncing off the walls in anticipation. Everyone knew what he had gotten her, and it had taken almost a year to plan. He was excited to see what she thought, though. Opening the box, her brows came together as she took in what she was looking at.
“Are these plane tickets?”
He nodded as she pulled them out.
“To Fiji?” she asked but then separated the tickets. “There are only two here.”
“Because only you and I are going. For a week.”
“What? I can’t leave the kids or even the team! You’re crazy.”
“Mom and Dad are going to come stay with the kids, and I already cleared it at work. We are leaving after New Year’s.”
“What!” she gasped, looking at him in disbelief. “Really?”
His hand came down on her thigh and he smiled. “We haven’t had a vacation since Shelli was born. I think it’s time we had some us time, don’t you think?”
When she looked up at him, tears gathering in her eyes, he knew he had done good. Great, even. “Yeah. I think so,” she agreed, wiping her eyes. “A whole week? Just us? No yelling, boogers, or hockey?”
He laughed. “Just us and the beach. We are staying in a hut with no one around but a guy to give us food and drinks.”
“Sounds like paradise.”
“It will be.”
“Oh my God, I can’t wait! Thank you!” she cried, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him hard on the lips. When she parted, she was frowning though. “I only got you a watch.”
&nbs
p; He scoffed. “Baby, you’ve given me the world and then some. Now it’s my turn to give you everything you can dream of.”
“You do that every day, Shea, just by loving me,” she said, tears rolling down her beautiful face. Her eyes still hit him straight in the gut, and her lips could knock him to his knees. She was everything and more. He would give her anything she asked without even really thinking.
“I love you,” she whispered, her lips ever so close to his. “More than words could express.”
“I love you.”
“Group hug!” Shelli exclaimed, and soon all five of their children jumped in where they could fit in. With Shelli in his lap, Quinn on his back, and Evan around his waist, he looked into the eyes of his forever and smiled. Elli was holding Posey and Owen close but still holding him too, a beautiful, happy grin on her face.
“Daddy, I love you,” Shelli said, kissing his cheek. “I love you too, Momma.”
“Yeah, I love you,” Quinn said.
“Me too, I love y’all,” Owen said.
“I love you so much. Thank you for my presents,” Posey said softly.
“I love you more than they do,” Evan informed them, ever serious but the instigator of the family. Soon everyone was protesting on who loved whom more.
Finally, Elli said, “Guys, stop. I love you all. The exact same. You are all the world to me.”
They all grinned and seemed content with that. Looking over at Elli, Shea smiled, holding her jaw. “You happy, baby?”
She nodded, kissing his nose. “So much so, it hurts, Shea. You’ve given me everything I could have ever asked for.”
His heart pounded in his chest as he got lost in her eyes. How did he get this lucky? To find his soul mate and not only marry her but make beautiful children with her. Kissing her nose, he said, “And to think, I still have the rest of our lives to give you even more.”
Her grin grew as her eyes clouded with tears and she said, “Merry Christmas, my love.”
“Merry Christmas.”