by E J Darling
Declan’s fingers moved inside her. She clawed at his exposed back and felt the still marred skin there. He didn’t give any sign of pain, so she ignored it for now. His eyes watched her lips as his thumb moved to roll circles over her clit, collapsing every last bit of control she had. She angled her head up and took possession of his mouth. If he wasn’t going to do it then she would. Declan parted his lips and allowed her access to him. Their tongues danced and they moaned together as he pressed her into the bed and finger fucked her like it was a damn passion. He was perfection. She wanted more. She wanted him inside her, all of him. Lexie pulled at his sweats and tried to slide her hand inside. She wanted to touch him. Make him feel what she was feeling.
He didn’t stop her, but an odd sound permeated the room, like the growl of a wild animal. It had come from him and she knew it. Lexie forced her hands too stop, but Declan didn’t. He leaned up, gripped the elastic band of her pants, and pulled them down her legs until they were in a pile in the floor.
“I need to taste you.” His voice was rough, and he didn’t sound like himself. “Say yes, Lexie. Please.” His eyes were locked on her and the silently begged her to say yes.
She was stunned. Everything was moving too fast for her brain to work, but she still had no doubt in her mind what she wanted. “Hell yes.” She whispered.
An excited grin pulled at the corners of his mouth and he bit his bottom lip. “I’ll be gentle with this. I promise.” She had little doubt he would be, but she wished he would let himself go and do what he wanted, needed. “But I can’t go further than this.” He lowered his gaze to her lips and slid down the bed until his knees hit the ground and he pulled her ankles until her ass slid off the bed. He threw her ankles over both his shoulders and there was no warning when his hot tongue traced her already slick folds. He played with her clit, building up her climax already.
His hands reached around her thighs and pulled at the sides of her lips, increasing the pleasure and Lexie was on fire. She rolled her hips, urging him to go faster, harder. She buried her fingers in his thick dark hair and pressed him down. She could take it. She didn’t want him to hold back. She’d been on a dry spell for months and she wanted everything this man had.
“Don’t hold back.” She gasped. “Please.” Lexie wasn’t above begging, and this was the perfect opportunity to get what she wanted out of him.
Something happened then. Declan gripped her thighs tightly as he began to pull and suck on her clit. Lexie cried out his name, rolling her hips to cheer him on. Declan made that same unique sound from earlier and it sent vibrations to her clit. She wouldn’t take it anymore. He rolled his head back and forth, as he buried himself harder into her. The ecstasy built to almost pain but there was no stopping the orgasm when it slammed into her. Waves of pleasure crashed down on her until all she could do was scream out his name.
“Declan!”
She panted now, not able to catch a full breath. She tried to roll her hips, but he pinned her down and the vibrations picked up again, adding to the already indescribable white-hot feeling that now engulfed her entire body. He sucked on her once more before he pulled himself off her. Causing the cold air to hit her sopping wet and exposed sex.
Lexie felt like she melted into the mattress. Declan had done one thing he’d promised, she couldn’t move or think right now. She just laid there like she’d been paralyzed from the neck down. “Holy. Shit.” She said slowly.
“I need a shower.” Declan said through noticeably clenched teeth.
Lexie tried to lean up and she managed to prop herself up on his elbows. He was pacing the room now, not taking his eyes off her. His hands gripped his hair and he looked like he was in pain. “Are you okay?”
He shook his head. Declan crouched down and covered his head with his hands. “She’s not Autumn. Not Autumn. Where is Autumn? Where is my Autumn? Dead. She’s dead. They killed her. My fault. My fault. My fault.”
Lexie jumped off the bed and immediately tried to wrap her arms around this broken man. He was in pain. He’d been bleeding and now he was on the verge of a mental break down. She’d seen one before. Her mother had been like this once and she’d taken care of her until the end… until her mother ended it. The suffering was too much for people. Lexie didn’t know who Autumn was, but she really fucking hated her right now.
“No!” He roared and pushed her away as he tucked his head again. She fell on her ass and that pissed her off. He didn’t get to do that. He didn’t get to blow her mind and then blow her off.
Lexie righted herself again and approached Declan. This was going to be a terrible idea, but she doubted being sweet and cuddly to a man like him was going to get her anywhere… or him.
She tapped him on the shoulder and Declan raised his head to look at her the moment she pulled her arm back and she decked him square in the jaw. It had stunned him that was for sure, but it did get the reaction she was hoping for.
Declan stood, his eyes clear and his mind seemed quiet. “Why the fuck did you do that?”
“You were going crazy! Again!”
Declan looked around the room until he stopped on her again. His eyes gazed down her body as he noticed her missing pants, and his eyes widened in shock as his hand covered his mouth as he backed away. He inhaled a deep breath through his nose and all the stability that had once been there was gone again. “I… I have to go.”
“Go where?” She begged the answer she knew wouldn’t come. And it was too late. Declan gripped the sides of the ladder and slid down, not even bothering with a single rung. In a blur he was out the door and Lexie was once again left in the silence.
Her heart was aching. She didn’t know what was happening to him. She didn’t know who Autumn was, but Lexie didn’t think she was going to be able to compare to a ghost. If that bitch wasn’t dead already, Lexie would kill her herself. Why was she so unbelievably heartbroken about him leaving or about his fixation on this seemingly dead woman? Had Declan really killed her?
Lexie dropped back down on the soft bed and cried. She cried until her eyes grew heavy and the winds outside blew with a fury against the logs of the cabin. It was colder up here without the fire to warm the air, but she didn’t dare move. She didn’t dare take one step away from where he’d left her. He’d come back, she hoped, and she would be right here.
Waiting.
CHAPTER SIX
Declan hadn’t shifted yet. He wanted to though. His skin was tingling to rip apart and his bear was roaring but he couldn’t. If he turned right now there was no telling when he’d come back and he couldn’t leave Lexie again. Not when she was awake and not after how she’d reacted when the wolves came. She’d smelled so scared and it had riled his bear up. So here he stood, out in the blistering wind, trying to wrap his head around what happened.
He’d been fine. He’d kept a semblance of control while his hands and mouth had explored her body. But the moment it was done, the moment she’d cried out his name, he snapped.
He needed air, needed to get her addictive scent out of his nose. It had filled the room and filled his body. Declan could still taste her there on his lips, on his tongue. She’d been sweet and so unbelievably soft, giving him everything he wanted to hear. She’d responded to his touch so easily.
That was the problem.
It had been so long, too long, since Autumn. He never thought he would get a second chance until Lexie quite literally fell into his lap. But it was too good to be true. He couldn’t have her. She didn’t belong here. She needed to leave once this storm passed and go back to her life and job. Away from him.
Declan stepped away from the light of the porch and into the dark wilderness. His feet were numb, and his bare torso was taking a beating from the wind and snow that battered down in his mountain.
His mountain.
It was his. This whole area was his. He’d worked his ass off to buy it and to be alone. He never had help from anyone in his life. His mom died years ago, and his father was a
piece of shit, always had been. The only thing he’d been good for was drinking and beating his son. Declan had needed space. He’d needed it so badly that he worked his ass off doing anything he could. Construction, mining, whatever else he could find, and bought an entire mountain when it had come up for sale, so he’d never have to see anyone again. But that hadn’t worked out either.
Autumn had been the first. The only. She was wild in nature but so beautiful. He found her, broken and wounded by the river a mile from his home. She was already half dead, but he’d wanted to help her, save her. But her mind was broken and wounded. Declan thought his love would save her, but it never did. He could never love her enough to keep her with him. Her heart and mind had belonged to the wolves that had tried to kill her, and she didn’t have any room left for Declan. She’d been blind. Blind to his love and blind to their hate.
Declan turned and looked back at the cabin. It looked so resilient and immoveable sitting there in the dark wood, battered by wind and snow. It was so unlike him. He felt broken and misshapen. Like he could fall apart any moment. He was a shell of the male he used to be. He’d been good for something once, but now he couldn’t keep his head on his shoulders or his mind in the moment. He couldn’t keep doing this with Lexie. The first time was bad enough, but this time had been worse.
He needed to go back in there. Not only because he was literally freezing his dick off out here, but he needed to wash himself. He needed to get her off his body, it was messing with his mind and he needed to keep it screwed on straight right now. Didn’t need to get attached to another woman that would leave him. It was too much. He wouldn’t survive another. He took a step. Then another until he reached the door.
Declan turned the nob and took a tentative step inside. He shouldn’t be afraid to enter his own home, but he’d fucked up by leaving the cabin in the first place and women could be vicious. She’d already decked him for going nuts. There’s no telling what the little hellion would do after leaving her inside alone after that.
The cabin was silent. He looked around behind the door towards the kitchen to make sure she wasn’t hiding in there somewhere with a weapon, but there was no one. Just bare counters and empty space, like usual.
He closed the door behind him and when it clicked shut, he instinctually locked it. He didn’t care how remote the cabin was, anyone could walk in at any time and that didn’t set well with him. Not when he had more enemies than friends and not when he had someone in here to protect.
Declan took his time downstairs. He grabbed the blanket from the couch where Lexie had slept and tucked it under his arm to take with him to the bed. Something hit the floor by his feet and Declan looked down to see the green leather book she’d been reading earlier. He bent down and picked it up, taking in the beautifully ornate cover and thumbed through the now worn yellowed pages. It had been his mothers. He had great memories of her reading it to him every day over lunch when his father was at work. If he had known she was reading him a love story he would have destroyed it like everything else he touched, so his mother had kept it their little secret. He hadn’t lied to Lexie before about it being his favorite book, it truly had been. But now it was just a grim reminder about what he’d once had and what he’d lost.
A story about a man and a woman caught in a tragic tale didn’t feel the same to him anymore. It felt real, not fiction. The only difference was that Isolde had loved Thomas and she had wanted to stay. Autumn had wanted to leave. Every second of everyday she’d fought the urge to run until the wolves had come back, and she couldn’t stop herself any longer.
Howling.
Declan pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, trying to concentrate and make it go away. Maybe it was the wind this time. Maybe they were really out there. Or she was.
The howling was louder now. The concentration only made the noise louder and seem closer.
Declan dropped the book and covered his ears, like the action would help the problem that was coming from within. He couldn’t fix the imagined. He couldn’t stop the broken pieces inside from grinding together creating false images and sounds.
She’s out there this time. She came back.
“No!” He roared. Declan knew his bear was lying. He was always lying. Autumn was gone and he needed to forget the woman that had hurt him. The one that had gotten herself killed because she couldn’t love Declan enough to stay. Everything was a lie. “No!” He roared again. Declan picked up the green book and threw it into the dying fire, causing a momentary blaze that quickly engulfed the tome in flames.
He reached for the pillow that sat on the couch and shredded the material, causing the insides to fall to the floor, and roared once again. This was the only thing that would drown out the noises in his head. He needed something, anything to make himself feel better.
His skin stretched, tore, and healed as his bear desperately tried to claw his way out and Declan screamed in pain. He couldn’t let him out, not right now. He was crazy… manic. Declan wasn’t much better but at the very least he didn’t have claws to tear apart the fucking cabin. He fell to his knees, the pain too much to stand, and his back hunched as his spine threatened to break. The pain of holding back was worse than shifting, he knew this, but there was no way in hell that psycho was getting anywhere near Lexie.
Lexie.
“Fuck!” He screamed. Where was she? Where is she? Declan looked around the cabin. To the shredded pillow, the empty couch, the dying fire. He shook his head, she wasn’t here. No one was here. He was alone like always. Alone and in pain. His back arched again, and Declan nearly lost his will. The bear inside him was so desperate, so feral that he wanted nothing more than to shift and never allow Declan to come back. He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t allow that. He’d been on the brink of it for so long, holding himself off by will alone. Someone needed him. Someone was depending on him, but he couldn’t remember.
No, she’s dead. Lexie. Lexie is dead. Where is Autumn? My beautiful Autumn. Lexie is dead. Pretty Lexie. You killed her.
That was all Declan could take. His spine bowed again, and Declan felt his shoulders dislocate and pain was the only thing he knew. He tried to hold the beast back, tried to keep the monster contained, but he was so broken. Lexie. He killed Lexie. He looked around frantically but all he could see were the wooden log walls that closed in on him. Declan was on fire. His skin felt like it was melting off his bones and he desperately tried to calm his mind.
He looked down at his bloody hands. Bloody? Lexie. He’d killed Lexie. His bear had said. Where was her body?
His fingernails grew into sharp claws and his fingers were on the verge of snapping to make way for wide paws. “No!” He roared one last time.
Like something out of a dream, small delicate arms wrapped around Declan’s head and he was held close to a warm, soft torso. He inhaled the angel as he wrapped his arms around the small frame and held it close. He must be dying now. There was no other reason than that for him to calm so easily.
A soft calming voice filled the cabin and his mind, “Shh,” It said. “I’m here. I’m right here Declan. Shh.” She kept repeating as her fingernails lightly raked his scalp. The touch was indescribable. He hadn’t let anyone touch him in so long that he didn’t know how much he’d needed it until now.
They both began to sway, and Declan’s mind slowly calmed. His nails burned as they receded into his skin and his body contorted back until he felt almost painless. A calm washed over him and his eyes felt heavy. It was always like this when he came down from a feral episode. Exhaustion hit him hard and Declan slumped as the woman gracefully laid them both down.
…
Lexie laid on the hard cold wood floor with Declan. When she’d woken up to his screams, she hadn’t known what to think. Her heart was racing, and she’d just reacted when she saw him in pain. His face had been terrifying, and his voice was worse. But he was silent now. His breath steady and his body relaxed.
Her sides hurt though. The
skin had been punctured when he’d wrapped himself around her body, not realizing that his claws were injuring her. She knew that. He was desperate. There was something about this man she didn’t know, but she knew it was bad. He’d told her he was a monster, and maybe he was, but she would never doubt that she was safe right here in his arms. Right here on this hard cold floor.
Lexie looked toward the fireplace mantle to the only clock within eyeshot. He’d been out for nearly an hour, but she couldn’t sleep, her nerves were shot. She didn’t know in what mood he would be in when he woke up, but she wasn’t going to leave him. He hadn’t left her in the snow when the wolves drove her here, and he’d used his body to keep her safe when they came for her again.
She wouldn’t pretend to know what the hell was going on, nor would she admit that there might be some truth to what Declan had said earlier. She hadn’t wanted to believe him, but after what she saw this evening, after what she saw Declan’s body do, there was no doubt something more here.
There were monsters in these woods.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Another twenty minutes and Declan still slept peacefully. She sat next to him in the floor now, unable to stand the harsh surface anymore. If she was strong enough, she’d move him to the couch but that wasn’t going to happen. He was a good two hundred and twenty pounds at least and she couldn’t even lift one hundred on a good day. Instead, she grabbed the wolf skin blanket to cover him and propped his head up with a pillow from his bed. He was comfortable enough she figured.