by Piper Rayne
“I’m glad you’re safe,” I say and step away.
“Wait. I’m sure he’ll want to see you.” His hand lands on my forearm, but his wife hits his arm and he turns to see what she’s talking about. “Oh.”
Sympathy that matches his wife’s tells me I don’t need a second look.
Instead, I round the corner of the street and when I get into the safety of my car, I down the entire bag of M&Ms in my purse, before ripping the wrapper into small pieces. I never want to see those initials again.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Mauro
“Cailin!” I push her shoulders and remove her hands from my cheeks. “What are you doing?”
She falls back to her heels, her cheeks red with embarrassment.
“I’m just so happy you’re okay and in one piece. They kept comparing it to the fire, and Hunter’s name and picture were all over the news again. I had to make sure you were okay.”
I blow out a breath.
“We need to talk.” I shake my head, staring down at the ground.
“Maybe I got too carried away, but I’m just so relieved.” She heaves for breath and her mascara is trailing in waves down her cheeks.
“I get that, but you know I’m with Madison.”
The other guys with their significant others are lingering around and my eyes do a quick scan of the area. No sign of Madison. I’d hoped she’d see the news and come.
“I know,” Cailin says in a small voice.
“Do you?” I take her by the hand, pulling her to the side of the building away from prying eyes.
“I do,” she says with her back against the wall.
“I think you’re transferring your feelings for Hunter on to me or something.”
She shakes her head and rubs her face with her hands. “I just don’t want to be alone. It’s so hard, Mauro. Raising Devin, going to bed alone every night.”
I hug her. “I know. But I’m not going to take his place. My heart isn’t up for grabs.”
She nods into the crook of my neck, sobs wracking her body.
As I’m consoling her, I look off onto the road and spot Madison’s car parked down the street. It can’t be her, can it?
“Hold on. I’ll be right back.”
Cailin keeps her head down, tears continuing down her face as I jog down the street.
Approaching the small SUV, I figure it’s a car similar to, but not hers, because if she’s here, why isn’t she in my arms?
When I bend over and look through the window, her head is on the steering wheel, the keys in her hands, resting in her lap.
“Fuck,” I murmur, looking back at Cailin and then at my girl.
She came. I smile at the fact that she came to make sure I was okay.
My knock on her window startles her and she straightens her back.
“Madison, what’s wrong?” I ask.
She doesn’t take time to wipe her own tears but puts the keys in the ignition.
My hand tries to open up the passenger door, but it’s locked. She quickly puts the car in reverse to get out of the parallel parking spot. I bang on the window. “Madison!”
She ignores me, her eyes set on her task of getting the fuck away from me.
Realization makes my gut clench and panic tightens my throat.
“It’s not what it looks like. Let me explain. Don’t leave!” I bang on the window again.
She reverses again, the asshole in front of her way too close to give her any room. Of course, I’m thanking that asshole as I round the hood of her car and plead through the window.
“Come on Madison. I promise you it isn’t what you’re assuming. Hear me out.” Our eyes meet and she stills.
“What are you doing, Mauro?” Cailin approaches the car.
I place my hand up in the air. “Stop.”
“Is that Maddie?” she asks, continuing to walk toward us.
Hasn’t she caused enough trouble tonight?
Madison catches me looking away and turns her head, looking out her side mirror.
A fresh set of tears fall and she moves not caring if she hits me or not.
“FUCK!” I yell as she pulls out of the spot and her taillights round the corner.
“Did she see us?” Cailin asks.
“No, she always drives away from me like that. What do you think?”
From the tone of my voice anyone else would know to leave me the fuck alone, but Cailin follows me as I jog back to the firehouse.
“I’m sick and going home,” I say to my lieutenant passing him by.
“No, you’re not. We have to unpack the truck, get it ready in case we’re going back out. You’re on shift until the morning.” He follows me. “Oh, hello, Cailin.”
She stops him long enough for me to strip out of my gear and head upstairs to grab my keys and phone.
“Bianco, you can’t leave,” the lieutenant says.
“Then fire me.”
I run out of the fire station down the street with Cailin yelling my name behind me.
I don’t give a shit about any of it. I just need Madison to understand.
I call her, not surprised when it goes to voicemail over and over again. I leave pleading messages for her to listen to me and explain that it was a one-way kiss.
What seems like a lifetime later, my tires squeal to a stop outside her house and I jog up the steps, ringing the doorbell over and over again until it finally swings open.
I instinctively cover my nuts.
“Lauren.”
No smile this time around which means Madison is home.
“You are such an asshole. I trusted you and here you’re having an affair with your partner’s widow? You sick motherfucker. Do you enjoy torturing Madison?” She steps out onto the porch and my gaze flickers past her, wondering how I can get around her.
“It’s all a misunderstanding.”
“Were your lips on hers?” she asks, her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised in question.
“For a millisecond until I threw her off me. Where is she? I need to speak with her.” I look into the house again and still see no sign of Madison.
“Nope. You’re not going near her again. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, Bianco and you fucked it up.” She turns her back to me, but I slide by her, shutting and locking the door behind me.
She is going to have my nuts, I know that as I hear her banging and yelling my name, but I’ll deal with that later.
Madison isn’t in the family room, or the kitchen, so I run upstairs, finding her bedroom door shut. I knock.
“Just give me tonight, Lauren, okay? We can talk in the morning.”
I try the knob and it’s locked. Fuck.
“I’m serious, I just can’t tonight. Please understand.”
No fucking way I’m letting her go a whole night thinking I’d hurt her like that.
I reach up on top of the door and retrieve the key she was adamant about us keeping on the ledges of all the doorframes at our flip house.
Trying to be quiet so she can’t put a dresser in front of the door, I insert the key into the lock and turn until the click sounds.
The pounding on the outside door and ringing doorbell sounds below, Lauren voicing all the ways she’s going to torture me when she gets her hands on me.
When I open the door, Madison is on her bed, a pillow tucked in her lap.
“Madison?” I ask, walking in and shutting and locking the door just in case Lauren gets into the house.
“If you’re here, who’s knocking?” she asks, startled to see me.
“I might have outplayed Lauren at a game of chicken.”
She doesn’t find it as funny as I do and this isn’t the moment for me to be raising my fist in victory. We’ll laugh tomorrow morning when all this behind us.
“Cailin kissed me and I pushed her away immediately. I told her I’m with you.” I sit on the edge of the bed, wanting this fight to be over so we can go back to being us.
“I
believe you. It took me a minute to process, but I knew you wouldn’t do that to me because it was done to you.” She wipes at the tears on her cheeks.
Relief fills my insides.
“Never. I’d never do that to you.” I reach for her, needing to feel her, but she leans away from me.
“But it made me realize something, Mauro.” She leans over and grabs a Kleenex from her nightstand and blows her nose while all the relief I was feeling a moment ago flees.
“For a moment I felt like that girl again…the nerd in high school and she was like the cheerleader. I think I’m always going to be screwed up like this. It’s not fair to you. You shouldn’t have to reassure me all the time and feel like you have to prove that it’s me you want.” A tear trickles down her cheek, but she swipes it away.
“I don’t feel like that and I’m happy to tell you every morning we wake up together and every night before we go to bed. As long as I have you, I don’t care about any of that.” I slide closer, but she moves back, keeping the same distance between us.
“This is never going to work. I’ll forever be that girl at the bonfire staring at you while you’re thinking of someone else. At least in my own head. We tried and I thought maybe it could work, but I see now that girl will always live on inside of me. She’s not going anywhere.”
“This is ridiculous. As I was fighting that fire tonight, do you know what I was thinking about?”
I want her to know that I love her, but at the same time I can’t tell her right now. I’m afraid I’ll scare her away and she’ll think I’m just saying it to make her feel better.
“What?”
“How much I wanted to be with you. I wanted you wrapped in my arms. It was scary there for a second and I fought to get out of that building just to hold you. That’s what got me through. Madison, don’t do this. It’s all high school bullshit that doesn’t matter. Who cares if I was the jock and you were the nerd, we’re here now. And what we have, few people get.”
“Ha! You asshole, get the fuck out.” Lauren storms into the room, a key in hand.
“I’m not going anywhere without her.” I look between the two of them, determined to make this right.
“First of all, you’re stinking up our entire house with the smell of smoke. Second, she doesn’t want you here.”
Madison’s gaze shifts to her friend and then back down to her lap.
Maybe it’s good that her friend is here.
“Tell her, Lauren,” I beg. “Tell her how good we are together. I’m with her because of the person she is inside. That I was a blind bastard ten years ago and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to her.”
Lauren’s rigid stance falters and her gaze lands on Madison who is busy sniffling and wiping away tears again.
“I thought he cheated on you?” Lauren asks.
Madison says nothing.
“She caught my buddy’s widow kissing me. I pushed her away, told her I didn’t want her and I was with Madison. But now she’s saying we’ll never work because we’re too different.”
Lauren’s head falls back in what appears to be exasperation, like this isn’t the first time she’s dealt with this issue when it comes to Madison.
“Maddie.” She makes her way across the room and when she reaches her friend, she wraps her arm around her shoulders. They sit there in silence for a minute, Lauren must see something I don’t because she moves off the bed and nods for me to meet her in the hall.
Is she crazy? I’m not leaving without making this right.
Lauren grabs my shirt and pulls me out into the hall, shutting the door behind her.
“Just give her tonight to be by herself and process her thoughts. I’m sure she’ll come to her senses tomorrow,” Lauren says.
“You’re kidding me, right?” I take one step toward the door and Lauren’s hand presses into my chest. “I’m not leaving. She needs to know I’m not going anywhere when things get tough.”
“I understand, but you won’t get through to her tonight. Trust me, I’ve known her my whole life. Her wounds are deep, Mauro, and I wish she didn’t see herself as that girl in high school, but the rejection she felt during those years still lingers. She never even told me about whatever happened between the two of you at the bonfire party. I’m her best friend, and she didn’t think she could tell me which means it hurt bad. So bad she chose to pretend it never happened. Now here you are, telling her you want her. It’s hard for her to believe that deep down. That the one thing she wished for every night for years before bed is coming true. When it comes to you, she feels second best.”
Lauren’s words make me realize how deeply I hurt her and how far I’ll have to go to make it up to her.
I push my hands through my hair. “I still don’t want to leave.”
Lauren gives me a small smile. “Listen, Maddie is a thinker. Always has been. Let her sort this out a bit in her head and you can try to talk some sense into her again.”
“I need to come up with a plan to make her realize.”
“Good luck with that.” Lauren pats my back like she pities me because whatever I come up with will never work.
She obviously doesn’t understand my competitive drive. Madison Kelly is mine and I intend to keep it that way.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Madison
Lucky for me, Mauro is stuck in an interview today about last night’s fire, so I don’t have to worry about him coming to the house. The only reason I know this is because he texted me since I’m still not answering the phone.
He’s upset and doesn’t understand why I’m pushing him away. I’m not sure why he doesn’t see how this will never work out between us. We’re nothing alike and sooner or later he’s going to realize I’m not worthy of him.
Tonight killed me when he showed up at my house smelling of smoke, the soot still lining his jaw and forehead. The urge to wrap my arms around him because he was okay nearly catapulted me off that bed, but what good would that do? Just delay the inevitable.
As I’m walking around the house, writing out a list of everything that needs to be finished before we can put the place on the market, I hear a car pull up outside. I sigh, worried that he got out of the interview early and has decided to plead his case again.
It’s not even just him. Somehow, he’s won Lauren over because she left me a note on my dresser about not wasting true love. Who knew she was such a romantic?
Even Vanessa sat me down earlier today telling me that I had to put the past behind me and live for the present. That I was giving up something special not many people share. Easy for the beauty queen to say.
“Hello?” a feminine voice calls out into the house.
“Yes?” I walk down the stairs, stopping mid-flight when I see Cailin.
The vision of her lips on Mauro’s is still vivid in my mind.
“He’s not here,” I say, walking down the rest of the way, rounding the bottom stairway and heading to the kitchen.
She holds up a thermos and two cups. “I’m here to see you.”
Her blonde hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, no makeup on her face.
“I’m not sure why? I’m out of your way now. He’s all yours.” I cock my hip and stare her down.
“Even if you broke up with him, we both know he’s not mine. He’s still yours.” She sets the thermos on the dining room table that has somehow become a staple of this home.
“Sometimes things just don’t work out. He’ll find someone else. Someone more suitable.”
She places the two cups she brought and fills them up with tea from the thermos. I take a few tentative steps over toward the table.
“I need to apologize, I was an evil witch and I deserve it if you want me to have no contact with Mauro, but don’t take what I did out on him. He didn’t want that kiss. I convinced myself he did, hell that I did, for that matter, but I was just trying to replace what I’d lost.”
She slides the cup my way.
Dr
opping the pad of paper on the table, I sip the tea, crossing my fingers it’s not poisoned.
“When Hunter died, we weren’t the happiest of couples. We fought a lot. About money and his schedule and the new business venture he was going into with Mauro. We argued about parenting, sleeping times, me not wanting sex enough. In my head, I thought that was just marriage….we had a young child and this is what happens with couples at that stage of life. There were times it felt like we were headed for divorce, but he’d always come home with a bouquet of flowers, telling me how much he loved me. We’d make love and we’d be back in our happy place until the next fight.”
If she only knew what he was doing behind her back.
“After he died, I propped him up on this pedestal as a man who could do no wrong. A man who fought fires and saved lives. A man who gave up his own life helping others.”
A tear slips down her cheek and I can’t help the compassion I feel for her, much as I’d prefer it weren’t there.
“I morphed him into the perfect father, the perfect husband in my head. And I believed it for a minute there because I hated that I ever thought ill of him now that he was gone. But you know what? Everyone has their flaws. Look what I did…treated you terribly. Kissed your boyfriend. Tried to steal him away from you. I know you don’t know me, but that’s not me. I never would have done that six months ago.”
I swallow down the revelation I want to give her about Hunter.
“I don’t know why you and Mauro broke up but if it’s because of the kiss, don’t. He didn’t even reciprocate. He told me you held his heart, Madison. I’m sorry that I was so lonely and wounded that I tried to ruin what you two have.”
The pained look on her face has me telling her that I accept her apology. And I do. She seems sincere and I do feel awful for what she’s going through. But it doesn’t change the fact that at some point Mauro is going to come to his senses.
“You’re the one for him, Madison. Mauro told me that you went to high school together, but he didn’t know you at the time. He was over one evening to fix my garbage disposal and he stayed for a drink after Devin went to bed.”