Morning comes along with a fair share of dirty looks. Yeah, I got sick and shot my mouth off about stuff, but what’s it to them? I pull my sweatshirt over my head to hide my eyes from the glaring sun and run the toothbrush over my teeth, spitting in the bushes. A bed in a dark room is the only thing that sounds good to my queasy stomach.
“How you feeling?” Dirk walks over with a bottle of water and hands it to me.
I stare up at him, and there’s something behind his curious stare. Bits and pieces of the night return, but I can’t remember exactly what happened. I straighten. “I’m okay.”
Another lie. How can my mother deal with this day in and out? I feel like crap.
“Good. We’re packing up to leave for Logan’s.”
The way he says his name triggers something in my memories. I’d said something about him at the campfire, but I can’t remember what. Even if I were hungry, that is the last place I want to go.
“Hey, party girl.” Syd runs up from the beach with a smile. “You ready to go? I’m starving.”
I shoot her daggers. How did she recover so quickly? “What happened last night?”
“Before or after you called Logan’s girlfriend a biotch?”
My hand flies to cover my gaping mouth. “I what?”
“Yup. But I don’t think many people heard you.”
Kitty gives me a smirk and holds up the Goldschläger bottle. There’s half a shot left inside.
“This will take the edge off.”
I stave off another wave of nausea, and turn to Syd. “Can’t we just drive back instead?”
Syd’s smile turns upside down. “And give up homemade waffles?”
“No talk of food.” I pinch my eyes shut and hold my hands over my ears.
“Oh, no you don’t.” Kitty walks up and pulls my hands down. “You will walk this road of shame, girlfriend. Of anyone, you need to be the one to tell Logan your dirty secret, before he hears from someone else.”
The blood drains from my face. “You wouldn’t.”
A shifty smile crosses her face. “I’m not going to say anything, but I’m not the one you need to worry about.”
I swallow hard, and glance around camp at the people watching me. “Who?”
“Come on, Kitty. She was drunk and messing around.” Syd gives me a kind smile. “No one will take her serious.” She glares hard at Kitty. “Right?”
She lifts her hands. “You may say you’re just friends with Logan, but we all know that’s not what you really want.”
“I have a boyfriend,” I defend with a shaky breath.
But I know she’s right. Logan will find out, and once he does I can kiss our friendship goodbye, and the thought makes my heart ache. There is no excuse other than I’m jealous, yet how can a taken girl be jealous? All my lies will be exposed, and he’ll see me for the fraud that I am.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Once we are finally in the car, I beg that we just drive to camp.
“Look,” Syd says. “Don’t listen to Kitty. It’s really no big deal. I’m sure if you explain, Logan will be hurt, but he’ll understand. Especially if you build up his ego, and say you think he’s special and that you are worried his girl isn’t good enough for him, or something like that, but after meeting her, you will think she’s an angel.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” I pinch my eyes shut. She can’t be an angel. I’m counting on the fact that she isn’t good enough for him. “Well, I’m going to stay outside. Just the thought of food makes me want to hurl again.”
“Coffee does a body good,” she says. “Besides, running makes you look guilty. Play off you don’t remember. You can’t avoid him forever.”
After too many twists and turns on the road, we arrive at Logan’s house. I slide down in my seat with the hood over my head and my sunglasses on.
“I’ll be in in a minute.”
“Oh, no you don’t.” Syd walks around and opens my door. “You’re getting out.”
I look through the plate glass window in the front for any sign of Logan or this mysterious Kat. “Seriously, I’ll be sick if I see any food.”
“Nothing sounds good?”
“Ibuprofen?”
Syd shrugs. “I’m sure Mrs. Abrams has some, but you can’t hide in here. It’s rude.”
“Sure I can.”
Syd grabs my arm.
“No,” I protest.
I let her pull me to my feet, and squint from the glare of the sun as she removes the sunglasses. Logan stands at the doorway, coffee mug in hand, welcoming everyone inside. His smile melts my insides, and I break out in a cold sweat. This might be the last time he’s cordial to me.
His parents’ house embodies the cuteness of beach life. Wooden siding painted a soft blue, and large windows trimmed in white. There is even a picket fence around the perimeter with a flowerbed filled with wild flowers.
Syd pulls me along and we follow the end of the pack.
“Hey!” Logan’s eyes sparkle, then he frowns as he peruses me up and down. “You feeling okay?”
“Sobering up.” I crack a small smile and secretly wish we could keep things like they are right now. “Is that coffee?”
“Yeah. We have lots. Come on in.”
He leads us inside and closes the door. I brace myself, knowing Kat could pop out at any moment. I’m accosted with bookshelves full of books, antique furniture and pictures galore. Everywhere I look, I see Logan’s happy family: a sister and another brother and oodles of cousins. They pose with huge smiles on tropical beaches in some, holding up trophy fish while on a boat in others, or huddled up at a ski resort with a beautiful lake in the background—all things I would have wanted to do if my family were normal. Smells of bacon and waffles fill the air, and my stomach tightens.
“Where’s your bathroom?” I ask.
Logan points down the hallway. “Last door on the left.”
“Great. Thanks.”
I escape quickly, taking in everything on my way. More family portraits line the halls along with school and graduation photos. My mom never bought photos besides a few graduation ones, complaining they cost too much. In fact we moved so much, Mom never kept many mementos anyway.
I flip on the light and close the door. Decorative towels in aqua blue and gray stripes hang next to the mirror. Everything matches, down to the soaps in the dish. Potpourri sits in a basket on the toilet. It’s so cute it makes me want to hurl. In the mirror, I look like death warmed over.
“Just lovely, Mad,” I tell myself. When I finally meet Kat or his parents, I’ll make a horrible first impression, like it matters.
I wash my face and try to style my wet bangs. I need a shower. I need sleep. I need a portal to get me out of this damn house. After using the facilities, I sit on the potty seat and scroll through my phone. Without Facebook, there’s nothing to see, really.
Someone tries the knob.
“Just a sec.” I flush again, just so they don’t know I’m actually hiding.
When I open the door, no one is there.
I walk back down the hall, toward the noise. My heart beats like mad, and once I hit the foyer, I’m tempted to exit instead of joining everyone in the dining room. The table is covered in another adorable display of every type of breakfast food imaginable on red and white linens. A woman is flitting about, tall and lean with blonde hair and a polka-dotted apron and I assume it’s Logan’s mom, correction Martha Stewart.
“There you are.” Syd walks up, crunching on a strip of bacon, and it takes everything not to dry heave. “This is to die for.”
“I can’t stay in here.” I make a quick beeline through the dining room. As I dart through a sliding glass door into the backyard, someone exclaims, “Rina, is that you?” There’s joyous squeals, but I’m outside before the noise makes my headache worse.
People are sitting on the deck at a picnic table devouring their food. I walk past, eyes up, toward a quaint garden. I sit down on a stone bench far far away.
Hell. I’m in hell.
“Madison?” A leggy blonde with super short shorts and high heel sandals walks toward me. She’s wearing the same apron as Logan’s mother. Her huge blue eyes peruse me up and down before she holds out the mug in her hands. “Its got cream and two sugars. Is that how you like it?”
I blink at the mug for a moment, then at the girl. She isn’t in the pictures inside, so I assume she’s a cousin or something. “Yeah.”
“Great.” She hands it to me, but doesn’t leave. “Logan said you weren’t feeling well.”
“I’m doing better, but this will help. Thank you.” The warm ceramic feels good against my cold fingers. I lift it to my lips.
“I’m Kat.”
I force the first swallow down quickly. The heat burns the roof of my mouth. An awkward gasp flies from my mouth. “It’s hot.”
“Oh, sorry. I should have warned you. Mrs. A. likes it hot.” She sits next to me, and I want to die. “Logan’s told me a lot of good things about you, and I have to admit with all the time you two spend together, I would have been worried if you didn’t have a boyfriend already.” Her eyes sparkle at me as she inspects me, and I want to hate her, but I can’t.
She’s too perfect, and beautiful, and kind. She’s a total fit for this family, right down to her perky smile and matching apron.
“Uh, yeah.” I’m totally confused. Should I be insulted, or relieved?
“I hear I missed a good party.”
“Um, yeah. A little too good.” Obviously no one told her what I’d said, or she would have poured the coffee on me instead of handing it to me. “From what I remember, yes.”
She laughs. “Well, too bad Logan and I missed it. I had no idea so many people he works with were campers the same summer I attended.”
I stop mid sip. “Same summer?”
“Rina? Is that you?” Kitty bounds across the lawn and the two embrace with a squeal. The blood drains from my face. Name confusion or not, Kitty and Kat know each other. They talk fast, exchanging stories, then walk arm and arm and disappear inside.
I trap the air inside my cheeks. I’m dead. I’m so dead. Kat must have been a camper the summer I’d missed, the one before my senior year. Yup. Someone is definitely going to tell her.
“There you are.” Syd saunters up and sits next to me. “How’d it go?”
“I’m so confused. Who’s Rina?”
“It’s Katerina, or Kat for short. She used to go by Rina, but since her Lasik surgery, among other things, she’s remade herself.”
I bite my lip. What other things?
“She was here the summer you weren’t,” Syd clarifies.
“I figured as much.”
“I wish I would have known that that’s Logan’s girl. That would have shed a lot of light on things.”
I lean over on my hands, and rest my elbows against my legs. The talk of light hurts my eyes, and my stomach knots up. “So you’re BFF’s, too?”
“No. She was in the geek squad with Kitty.”
My thoughts return to what Kat might have said to me if I didn’t have a boyfriend? Hands off? He’s mine? At least once we leave this dreadful place and return to camp, I won’t have to face her again, that’s if she doesn’t decide to visit—camp is big and I can escape, unlike here. “So that’s how Logan found out about the job.”
“Dirk’s good friends with both of them, apparently.”
My eyes slide shut and Dirk’s interrogation makes sense. He knows that my fake relationship is on the rocks. Is he the person Kitty warned me about? My hands start to shake. I want to talk to him before he tells Logan.
And as if I’d summoned him, Logan walks out with something in his hands. He tilts his head and the sun catches his dark hair, shimmering across the natural bronze highlights. My body betrays me and I long for him to be mine. “I brought you some bacon. It helps with a hangover.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Oh, no. Keep it away from me.”
He smirks and retracts his hand. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”
I’m going to pretend I didn’t call Kat a biotch before meeting her. “Yeah, well… that’s not all you don’t know about me.”
“How about some toast?” Syd suggests.
I blow out a breath. “That will probably stay down, yes, thank you.”
“Be right back. Stay here.” Syd pops up, and gives me a quick look over her shoulder, nodding to Logan. It’s an opportunity to come clean. My heart hammers.
“I see you’ve met my better half.”
I nod and raise my brows. “Yeah, I did. She’s sweet.”
Through the slider I see Kitty talking with Kat. She gestures to me and Kat watches us talk and frowns. My insides clench. I have to tell Logan before anyone else does.
“Hey Logan…” I start. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Yeah?”
My mouth gets dry. I can’t think, let alone talk, and I chicken out. “Is there more coffee?”
“I think so.” He takes my mug and walks back to the house. Kat joins his side and puts her hands all over him. I frown, then catch Kitty staring at me through the window with a half smile. I look away, guilty.
When Logan fails to return, I try to catch my breath. The salty air and cool breeze cycle through the trees and brush over me, but I can’t relax.
Syd returns with a piece of toast wrapped up in a napkin. “Well, that went better than planned.”
“I didn’t tell him.”
“What? And why not?”
“I just…”
She sits next to me and I lean into her shoulder. She pets the side of my cheek. “Oh, you’ll live.” She sighs. “I almost forgot.” In her palm are two Ibuprofen.
“You do love me.” I down the pills, then nibble on the toast. “What’s she like?”
“His mom? She’s awesome. Makes the best waffles with apple compote known to man.”
“No. I’m talking about her.” For some stupid reason, I can’t say Kat’s name.
Syd’s hands drop to her lap. “She’s the nicest girl you’ll ever meet. If she was your competition, you’d be screwed.”
I cringe, suddenly wanting to leave that instant.
Syd pats my back. “Hopefully now you’ll start feeling better.”
“Yeah. Thanks.” What would make me feel better is a time turner so I could go back and stop what I’d said last night. How could I have been so catty? “Did anyone say anything?”
“I don’t think so.”
I blow out a breath.
“You were drunk. I mean, geez. If he didn’t know there might be something between you two by now, he’s dense.”
My body freezes. “I don’t have feelings.”
“Drunken you apparently does, but it doesn’t matter. If you love Gage, call him and do whatever it is you do when you’re apart, and forget about Logan. Once camp starts, this will all go away, I promise.”
She confesses a similar situation with a teacher she’d grown fond of that almost broke her and Ryder up, and how she almost blew it. I act like her advice is sound, but I can’t just write off Logan. I’m attached to him now, and that’s what terrifies me. If it’s not the biotch comment, it’ll be Dirk spilling that my fake relationship is on the rocks, and the lies will start unraveling. Forget a relationship, our friendship will be over.
“Yeah, okay. Can we go now?”
“Sure.”
We walk through the house, and I keep my head low. Thankfully the table has been cleared, though the smells linger. Kitty and some of the other girl counselors are doing the dishes. Logan and Kat aren’t anywhere to be seen.
“You must be Madison.” Logan’s mom works her way through the crowd and lifts her arms to hug me. “How are you feeling, dear?”
I force a smile. How irresponsible did this make me look? The group drunk who spouts whatever comes to mind and makes an ass of herself, just like her mother. “Better. Thanks. This was so generous, really,
opening your home to us.”
“Oh, I was hoping you’d all come visit. Logan’s been telling us about all of you, and I have to say, Camp Redwood Springs is blessed to have so many talented and dedicated summer staff members to counsel kids all summer.”
“Yeah,” I say, not correcting her assumption.
“We need to go,” Dirk barks from the foyer. “Kids arrive at fourteen hundred hours!”
People scurry around me, finishing up with the dishes and gathering their stuff. Mrs. Abrams is showered with hugs and thanks.
I take the moment to slip out the front door unnoticed, and try to find Dirk. My eye catches a couple down the street, and my stomach plummets. It’s Logan and Kat lip-locked in a hungry embrace.
I get in Syd’s car instead and slam the door. Kitty and the gang walk out of the house, bringing with them food coma smiles, but I hate their happiness. I hate love. I hate romance. I hate men. I hate it all.
Syd can’t return fast enough, and when Logan walks past the window, I pretend to be sleeping. But he doesn’t notice me, which hurts somehow.
The ride to camp is quiet, mostly because I fall asleep. When we park, I wake up and can’t help but notice where Dirk parks. Logan exits and our eyes meet. He isn’t smiling, and immediately I know Dirk must have said something. I need to slip away before Logan can corner me, but I have nowhere to hide.
“Hey!” Syd throws my sleeping bag at me, catching me off guard. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.”
The silky bag bounces off my hip and lands on the ground, shedding a pile of sand.
“I got it.” Logan comes up from behind me and snatches the bag.
“It’s okay.” I try to retrieve it from him, but he doesn’t let go. “I need to hurry. I’ve got dinner duty.”
“We’ve got dinner duty.” His voice is hard.
“Oh, that’s right.” I fake a smile, but he’s not responding.
Syd slams her trunk shut and picks up her things. “Kids will be here in 4 hours. Not much time left.”
The three of us walk down the path. Syd talks about how awesome breakfast was, yet keeps giving me sympathetic looks. I want to tell her to quit it, but at this point, my head is pounding too hard to concentrate. Honestly, I just want to be alone where it’s quiet.
Truly Madly Deeply: Volumes 1-4 Page 8