“He’s not hurting the baby. You should get in and swim with them.”
“He hates me.”
“I think he’s getting over it. He loves you, Porsche. He may be a stupid ape, but his feelings are totally human. It hurt him when you had Mike’s baby. You can’t expect him to bounce back so fast from that kind of disappointment.”
“Haven’t I been punished enough?” Tears sprang to my eyes.
She sighed. “Good Lord. Would you quit crying? Watching you like this is depressing.”
“How do you think it feels to be me? You think I like this?”
“Do you want to go home?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “If things don’t get better…I…don’t know.”
Leslie hugged me. “You hang in there. Today was a breakthrough. Leonard’s bonding with Daisy now. Just listen to that purr. They don’t purr like that unless they’re really, really happy or in love.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I gotta check on the food. You stay strong, girl. You can do it.” She muttered, “Christ knows we’ve been through worse.”
After Leslie left, I sat and stared at Leonard and Daisy. The mother in me didn’t want to let her out of my sight. I waited until he emerged from the water, fluid rushing off his fur. He ignored me and took the path into the forest. I followed behind them, feeling confused and left out. What the hell was that ape thinking? At camp, Bubba held court, a long pipe hanging out of his mouth and the smell of cannabis filling the air. Zelda stood over the fire, stirring the food, her brows lifting when she caught sight of Leonard with Daisy in his arms. The two of them sat on a pelt, the ape leaning against a tree.
The baby had begun to fuss, and I suspected she was hungry. I stood before him with my arms out. “Give her to me. I’ll feed her.” Shiny black eyes glared at me. “Leonard. Give me Daisy.” My breasts ached; they were so full. I reached for her, and he growled. “Leonard!” What the hell was the matter with him? “I have to feed her.” She had begun to cry now in earnest.
The camp had gone deathly quiet. Everyone’s eyes were on us, even Bubba had stopped smoking to stare. Anxious expectation prickled me, as fear wound her icy claws around my heart.
“Leonard. You have to give me the baby.” He held her out, and I grabbed her, clutching her to me. “Thank yo—” He seized me, dragging me onto his lap, which left me stunned. He growled, low and threatening. His behavior was bizarre. If he hated me so much, then why did he pull me onto his lap? Daisy’s crying necessitated action, and I lowered my dress, exposing a breast. She latched on, sucking and nearly choking, as the milk sprayed down her tiny throat.
I had forgotten how comfortable it was to sit in Leonard’s lap. He was damp from the hot spring, wetting the back of my dress. The letdown reflex made me lethargic, and I rested my head against his burly chest, listening to the raspy sound of his breathing. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, thinking that perhaps my punishment was finally over. He had been angry for three months…ignoring me…growling at me.
“Well, looks like things are shaping up,” murmured Zelda. She took a sip of tea from a tin cup. Her eyes crinkled around the edges when she smiled. “I knew he’d come around. That baby’s so adorable. Who wouldn’t love that baby?”
I swallowed, and it felt like there was a boulder stuck in my throat. “I hope it lasts.”
“It’s a beginning, Porsche. You give it some time, and it’ll be all right.”
I glanced at Leonard, our eyes meeting. Here was the beast that had kidnapped me from a camping trip more than three years ago. Those early days had been filled with fear and sex, the most incredible sex I had ever experienced. I had been eighteen then, a recent high school graduate, and all I wanted was to party and have a good time. After my abduction, I had changed. I had grown up and fallen in love with a walking carpet. We had been through so much together…running and hiding from search and rescue teams and other tribes, Lendal’s birth, and Leonard’s brain injury, which had me wondering if he would ever be himself again. Then I had given birth to Mike’s baby.
I didn’t know if he would ever forgive me...but maybe he would.
Chapter Three
Two days later, as I was washing out dishes in the river, I heard the unmistakable sound of a helicopter. The scientists were coming! Dr. Connor Haynes and his research assistant, George, visited two to three times a year to count babies and checkup on the tribe. He was probably worried because he couldn’t reach me by phone. The apes had been outfitted with tracking devices, and every move the tribe made could be monitored daily.
I grabbed the wooden bowls and tin cups, throwing them in a cloth bag, and raced up the embankment, my long blonde hair flying out behind me. I would receive news from home! Mom, dad, and my bratty little sister would send messages and pictures. Mom always packed new clothes, and I couldn’t wait to see them. I’d get bras and panties and shoes! It would be like Christmas and my birthday all wrapped into one. She’d send shampoo and deodorant and toothpaste!
In my haste and excitement, it hadn’t even occurred to me that Mike might be with them. It wasn’t until I reached camp that I saw the handsome forest ranger dressed in tan shorts and a crisp white shirt. Leonard and Rusty were out hunting, and they wouldn’t be back for a while. The Sasquatches gathered around, sniffing and growling at the newcomers. Bubba chomped on a candy bar. Dr. Haynes knew he enjoyed the confection, and he brought many to appease the leader of the apes and gain his acceptance. It was better than the alternative of being clubbed to death.
Leslie glanced at me. “Things just got even more complicated, huh?”
I brushed by her. “Oh, shut up.”
“Daisy should be awake soon.”
“I know,” I grumbled.
“Porsche.” Mike and I headed towards one another, and he grabbed me, hugging me. “Jesus, I’ve missed you. How are you? How was the winter?” He held my face, his thumbs rubbing my cheeks. Feeling the warmth of his arms and the affection in his eyes brought tears to mine. “You look tired, honey. Are you all right?”
“I guess.”
Concern registered. “What’s happened?” He glanced at my belly. What happened to the baby? Is he all right? Did he make it?”
He thought I had given birth to a Sasquatch baby. “Yeah. The baby’s fine.”
“That’s a relief.”
“Speaking of the little tyke,” said Zelda. “Here it is. Someone’s hungry.” She handed me Daisy, who was dressed in a small t-shirt with a cloth diaper.
Mike froze. He’d gone pale, as the shock of what he was seeing registered. Not once did he take his eyes from her sweet little face. This wasn’t a Sasquatch baby; this was his baby! His stunned expression made my stomach drop. While the rest of the tribe talked and laughed, Mike stood immobile like a statue in a museum.
“Oh, my God,” he finally uttered. “Oh, my God.”
I held Daisy, her little hand grasping my dress. “I was gonna tell you…but the phone broke.”
“Oh, my God.”
Zelda had come up behind him. She slapped his back. “Congrats, dad.” George lifted a bottle of wine from his backpack. “Oh, thank God! You brought wine! Oh, how I love you guys.” She dug through my bag, bringing out tin cups. “Let’s celebrate.”
“Oh, my God.”
Poor Mike. He struggled to grasp the fact that he was a father. “I have to feed her.”
“What’s her name?”
“Daisy.”
Lendal bounded into the camp, his eyes glinting with excitement. “Dr. Haynes!” he rasped. He rushed the scientist, hugging him.
“Hey, squirt! How you been?”
“Did you bring toys?”
“Of course I did.”
“I love toys! Did you bring soccer balls? Lendal loves soccer balls!”
“Yeah, I brought those.” His furry little arms wrapped around Connor, nearly knocking him off his feet. “Jesus, he’s gotten big! You’ve grown a couple of inches since the
last time I saw you.”
Mike and I sat on a pelt. I held the baby close, her little pink mouth suckled a nipple. “How’ve you been?” I asked.
“I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about. How was the labor?”
“It hurt, but it always hurts.”
“Was Leonard pissed?”
“Yeah.”
“You seem sad. What’s wrong?”
“What do you think’s wrong? He’s mad at me, and things…aren’t that great right now.”
“I’m taking you home.”
“No!”
“Stop being so damn stubborn. The wilderness is no place to raise a baby! Not my baby.” He wasn’t shocked anymore. He was angry. “If I’d known you were carrying my child, I woulda come out and gotten you. There’s no way in hell I would’ve let you give birth in a cave.”
“Please don’t cause trouble. You know why I can’t leave. Just because I had your baby doesn’t mean anything’s changed. This is my home. This is my tribe. I live here now.”
“Fuck!” He got to his feet, his hands thrust into his pockets. “Fuck this shit!” He stomped off into the woods.
Dr. Haynes had witnessed our interaction. I shrugged in response, while tears threatened. He came over. “I’m a little surprised, Porsche. I wasn’t expecting a human baby. Is she well? Does she need anything?”
“She’s fine.”
“If you’d told me, I would’ve brought immunizations.”
“I’ll bring her home in August for a check up and stuff.”
“You look tired.”
“Everyone says that.”
“Are you sleeping?”
“Kinda.”
“How’s your mental outlook? How do you feel?”
Tears welled. “Horrible.”
“You might have the baby blues.”
“I wake up feeling like shit, Dr. Haynes. It doesn’t help that Leonard hates me. Now Mike’s gonna cause trouble. He’s not taking my baby from me.”
“Nobody’s taking your baby, honey.” He scooted closer, putting his arm around me. “You’re doing remarkably well, Porsche. You’ve given birth twice in the middle of nowhere to two healthy tots. Lendal’s speech is excellent. He’s a friendly fellow. You’ve done a good job raising him. You should be proud of everything you’ve done.”
“I’ve made a big mess.”
“Nobody’s perfect.”
“If Mike wasn’t so cute…maybe I coulda resisted him. Now…he hates me too.”
“Nobody hates you. They might be disappointed, but…it takes two people to make a baby. The blame shouldn’t be all on you.”
“Leonard doesn’t understand that.”
“How is he with the baby?”
“He wouldn’t touch her for three months, until two days ago. He had her in the hot spring, and it was so sweet. I cried when I saw it. He’s been holding her now, but…he still hates me.”
“He’s a stubborn ape. I know you’re having a rough time, but this will pass. He’ll get over it. From a research standpoint, it’s excellent. We’ll be able to see how they adapt to the changes. It’s an entirely different aspect to their tribal balance. You’ve thrown a wrench into everything.”
“Great. I’m glad I could entertain you all.”
His arm tightened around me. “It’s gonna be fine, but if you ever feel truly unsafe, Porsche, please call me. We’ll come and get you.”
“Lendal broke the phone.”
“I was wondering why I couldn’t reach you. I’ll give you mine before I leave.”
Mike had returned from his angry exit. He stood at the other side of the camp, glaring at me.
“I gotta say,” said Connor. “You sure have an effect on man and beast. There’s something about you that gets them going. They all seem to want you.”
“I’m fat and ugly now. That’ll all stop.”
“You’ve just had a baby. A body takes longer to bounce back the second time around. I honestly think this is the depression talking more than anything.”
“How long do the baby blues last?”
“It shouldn’t be more than a few months. Hopefully less. Are you exercising at all?”
“No.”
“You should. Take a walk every day. It’ll get the endorphins going. Those elevate mood. How do you feel about Daisy?”
“I love Daisy.”
“You don’t have…feelings like you want to hurt her, do you?”
I gasped, “No!”
“Okay. Just asking.”
“Why would I wanna hurt my own baby? That’s fucking stupid.”
“Some new mothers go off the deep end. You’re stuck out here with almost no support.”
“That’s not true. Leslie feeds Daisy, cause she has a ton of breast milk from Wolfie. Zelda watches her a lot. Rusty and Dale have watched her. We all take care of the babies.”
“That’s typical ape behavior. You’re not a Sasquatch, though. You’re human, and it’s different for you. You’re young and on your own. It’s a lot to deal with.”
I had to appreciate his concern. “I’m glad you guys showed up. Did you bring a computer? Did my parents make a video?”
He smiled. “They sure did. It’s an hour long.”
Tears formed in my eyes. “I’m looking forward to seeing it.”
I brought lots of stuff you’ll like. We left the bags in a clearing. I’m hoping the apes will help bring them back.”
“That’s so awesome. I can’t wait.” I had given my parents one of Leonard’s gold nuggets, and they had sold it for more than thirty thousand dollars. My mother had placed the money in an account for my welfare and incidentals. She still held out hope that I would leave the forest and live with them.
After Leonard and Rusty returned, we sat by the fire and enjoyed a tasty meal. The scientists had brought vegetables and fruit, with delicious pound cake, wrapped in foil. We had gorged ourselves on the fare. Lendal had eaten so much, he lay on a fur with his hands over his distended belly. Mike was next to him, scratching his head. The little ape grunted happily, enjoying the attention.
Leonard leaned against a tree; his expression was neutral. He hadn’t been pleased that Mike had returned. The males viewed one another as competition. The food and the dessert had improved his mood, and, as he puffed from the end of a pipe, his hooded stare rested on me. I tingled, feeling an attraction, even though he hated me…but the night was young, and anything could happen.
Chapter Four
“Here, honey. Have some wine.” Zelda handed me a tin cup.
“Thanks.”
I took a sip, enjoying the taste. It was a treat to have alcohol. I eyed Mike, who continued to scratch Lendal’s head. My son had his eyes closed, as little grunts escaped him. Dr. Haynes had thought to bring fun amusements for the youngsters, and Bubba Jr. blew bubbles through a plastic loop. The air filled with shiny floating balls that popped when they encountered the leaves and branches of trees.
Feeling the effects of the wine, I scooted closer to Leonard, the smell of cannabis lingering around the Sasquatch. He’d taken to smoking the drug in the evenings, and it relaxed him, although he would be ravenously hungry in three hours. The tiniest hint of a growl rumbled in his chest, which bothered me, but I continued to approach, feeling emboldened by the wine. I was so close I could see the variances in the hues of his fur, the light auburn mixed with deep brown, and the hint of gold. His nose was round and black, the nostrils flaring, as he took in my scent. I knew he wasn’t unaffected by me; I knew he wanted me. We were having sex still, but it was perfunctory and without feeling. I was tired of being used as a Bigfoot sperm receptacle. I wanted something more from him. I wanted his affection. I needed his love.
“Leonard.”
“Grrrrr…” he grumbled.
“I’m tired of fighting.” The corner of his lip twitched. “I’m sorry I had Mike’s baby. You were missing. I thought you left me. I thought you didn’t want me.”
“Grrrrr…”
“Then you were crazy. You tried to kill us. I’m tired of being blamed for everything. I’ve made mistakes, and I’m sorry.” A light flashed within the inky blackness of his eyes. “Can’t you find a way to forgive me? I want us to be a family again.”
He nodded towards Mike, who sat nearby listening. “You leave me for him.”
That was shocking. “No. I’m here with you. I’m staying. If I wanted to leave, I would’ve already.”
“His baby.”
“It is, but I’m staying.”
“You love him.”
I swallowed hard. “I…love you.”
“You love him too.”
Oh, shit! “A little.” His eyes narrowed. “Can’t I love you both? You share me with Rusty and Dale. Can’t you share me with Mike?”
“Gggrrroooaarrrr…”
“I’m being honest. I’m not lying. I’m sorry if it’s not what you want to hear. I won’t leave you, Leonard. I love you.” Tears were in my eyes. “I’ve made a big fat mess, and I’m sorry. Now we gotta find a way to live with it.” He took a puff of his pipe, eyeing me. “Did you hear what I said?” He continued to stare, not speaking or moving. Had his brain injury affected him permanently? Did he hate me that much? I choked back a sob, tears falling. “Maybe it’s over.” Feeling lower than I ever had before, I got to my feet, heading for the woods, so I could find a quiet spot and cry. My night was ruined, and I just wanted to be alone.
Rocks and twigs dug into the bottoms of my feet, but I didn’t care. I grasped at branches, pushing them out of the way, stumbling through the darkness. The trees hid the moon completely. Crickets resounded in a disorganized symphony, while an owl hooted in the distance. It didn’t matter what direction I headed in, because I was beyond caring. These last three months had been the worst of my life, and, if I went missing, I doubted anyone would really be concerned. The tribe would go on, and my babies would be cared for. Leonard would find another woman to breed with, and Mike would meet someone else and take Daisy with him.
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