by L A Cotton
“Yeah, I guess.”
“So you’ll come?”
“I don’t—” The blare of my cell cut me off. I snatched it up and pressed it to my ear. “Hello.”
“Did Poppy tell you the plans?” Ashleigh said.
“Yeah, but I’m not sure—”
“You have to come. Besides, it might be the last chance we get to use the pool.”
“Pool?”
“Yeah, didn’t Pops tell you? We’re taking our bathing suits.”
“You know I don’t swim.” Not in public at least.
“Come on. Please?”
“Fine. But no swimming.”
“Suit yourself.” I heard the smile in her voice. “I’ll be over in ten. And Lily?”
“Yeah.”
“Good for you.”
Thirty minutes later, I found myself sitting on one of the Bennet’s pool loungers enjoying the last of the summer sun. Soon, crisp mornings would give way to cool days as the leaves turned brown and began to fall from the trees. I loved fall though. There was something relatable about it. The hodgepodge of color, being stuck somewhere between fading summer sun and fluffy autumn clouds. It was like being suspended between two worlds—a lot like my life.
“Cannonball,” Poppy yelled, taking a running leap into the pool. Water sprayed up around her and I smiled. My sister was such a goofball.
“You know I can do it ten times better,” Aaron appeared at the door to his shed, yanking off his t-shirt.
“Aaron, don’t you dare.” She smiled, swimming backward to give him room.
“Three, two…” He ran and jumped, tucking his body into a tight ball. The spray almost got me, but I scrambled back.
Ashleigh and Sofia were sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet dangling in the water, laughing and joking. The rest of the guys filed out of Aaron’s den. My heart did a traitorous little flip at the sight of Kaiden standing over by the door. His eyes slid to mine and moved right past me.
Well then. The little flutter of excitement I’d felt quickly sank into the pit of my stomach.
“Where’s Peyton?” Bryan asked.
“She’s at work,” Ashleigh said. “She might come over after she gets out.”
“Tell her I’ll make it worth her while.” He snorted.
“Dude,” Aaron balked. “It’s not that kind of party. Getting in?” he asked them. “The water’s good.”
Bryan looked to Kaiden, like they were asking him for permission. He shrugged. “I’m not getting in.”
“Oh, come on, spoilsport.” Bryan began stripping out of his clothes, and their other friend—Gav, I think—followed.
Kaiden let out a steady breath before dropping into a chair as far away from mine as possible. The permanent knot in my stomach twisted. I shouldn’t have come, that much was apparent. But rejection wasn’t the only thing I felt. I was annoyed at how he was being… all because I was Coach Ford’s daughter. It coiled around my heart like barbed wire. Sharp and deadly.
I hadn’t even realized I was watching him until his dark-gray eyes stared back at me. Time slowed down, suspending us in the moment. My breath caught, waiting for him to look away. But he didn’t drop his gaze… he just watched me. Staring as if he was trying to work out my deepest, darkest secrets.
Eventually, I looked away. I had to. His stare was too intense, and it only confused me.
“Come on, Thatch. Let loose once in a while,” Bryan said, splashing him.
“Fuck you, asshole.”
I flinched at his words, but they were said with a smile.
“Come on. You know you want to.”
Shaking his head, Kaiden laughed as he stood and began stripping out of his clothes. He was a sheer work of art, his body cut to perfection. Hard marble carved by the hand of an angel. Muscles stacked on muscles flexed and contracted as he whipped his t-shirt off his head. Somebody wolf-whistled, yanking me from my trance and I ducked my head, heat staining my cheeks.
Kaiden dived into the water and everyone cheered… and I sat there alone and forgotten. It wasn’t anything new, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. My friends tried to include me. Even when my mind wouldn’t let me participate, they tried to make sure I wasn’t left out. But it meant I spent my life on the fringe, watching but never experiencing. It was exhausting, to be the girl who couldn’t.
Exhausting and frustrating.
Like right now, I wanted to join them. I wanted to say to hell with it and get in the water. But all I could see was the hazards. Panic attacks and deep water didn’t go together. It was easier—safer—to stay on dry land.
It was also a hell of a lot lonelier.
No one asked me to join them. They were too busy having fun. Aaron had Poppy on his shoulders, the two of them duking it out with Ashleigh and Bryan while the rest of them cheered them on. Kaiden lazed back against the edge of the pool, his hair all damp and mussed up.
It was the sweetest kind of torture wanting something you couldn’t have.
When it became too much watching them, I slipped away unnoticed and went inside the house. The kitchen was a huge open plan room divided into the kitchen area and a family area that had a gigantic sectional and television. I grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator and sat down.
“Sofia is that—oh, hello, Lily,” Mrs. Bennet said.
“Hey, Mrs. B. I hope you don’t mind. Sofia invited us over.”
“Of course not, sweetie. Where are—” Shrieks filled the air, pulling her gaze to the yard. “Why is Kaiden Thatcher in my pool?”
“I guess Aaron invited him.”
“I see.” Her brows furrowed. “Did you eat?”
“Not yet.”
“I think we have some frozen pizzas. I’ll get them out. I have a ton of work to do. Do you think you can watch them?”
“Sure thing.”
She paused and studied me. “Why aren’t you out there enjoying the water?”
“It’s that time of the month,” I lied.
“Okay,” she looked like she wanted to say more, but she didn’t, “let me grab the pizzas, then I’ll leave you all to it.”
Mrs. Bennet brought a stack of frozen pizza boxes into the kitchen and placed them on the counter.
“That’s a lot of pizza,” I chuckled.
“Two words, Lily. Teenage boys. Aaron can eat at least one-and-a-half pizzas to himself. I imagine the others are no different.” She smiled, before going to turn on the oven. “You know where to find everything?”
“I think I can manage.” It wasn’t my first rodeo at the Bennet’s.
“Okay, I’ll be in my office. Holler if you need anything.” She disappeared down the hall and I was alone once more. I went over to the patio doors and watched my friends goofing around in the water. They were so carefree, I envied them. They were watching Cole and Bryan perform flips off the edge of the pool. But not Kaiden. He was staring up at the house, at me. I could just make out the frown crinkling his face. He probably thought I was avoiding him.
If only he knew.
But he never would. Because Kaiden Thatcher had written me off before he ever got the chance to really know me. And I tried to tell myself it was his loss.
But he wasn’t the one in here.
Alone.
“Yes, pizza. Thanks, Lil.” Aaron grinned over at me as I sat on the couch in the den eating my slice, watching them file into the room.
“It was all your mom.” I shrugged.
“Well, Aaron’s mom rocks.” Bryan grabbed a handful of slices and loaded his plate before flopping down onto one of the beanbags.
“Hey, you okay?” Poppy asked me, and I nodded. “You should have come in the water.”
“I’m fine.” I brushed her off, hoping she would drop it.
“Surprise,” Peyton appeared in the door.
“Get in here,” Poppy said. “You’re just in time for pizza.”
“Ooh, my favorite.”
“No shit,” Bryan said. “It�
�s my favorite too. If that isn’t some written in the stars thing, I don’t know what is.”
“Are you always this… weird?” She asked him, and the guys burst into laughter.
“I’ll be whatever you want me to be.” Bryan winked.
“God, make it stop.” Peyton smirked, grabbing a plate and perching on the end of the couch. “So, what did I miss?”
“We all went in the pool.”
I internally winced at Sofia’s words. Because we hadn’t all gone in the water.
Peyton sensed my discomfort, her knowing gaze finding mine. “How was it?”
“How was what?”
“The water.”
“Oh, I didn’t…” The conversation in the room fell quiet, the spotlight shining down on me. “I wasn’t feeling it.” I took a bite of my pizza, hoping she would move on.
Thankfully, she did.
“So, game day next week. Do you think the Raiders can do it this season?”
“Fuck yeah,” Aaron said.
“And you three,” she flicked her head to Kaiden and his friends, “how do you feel about it?”
“I just want to play football.” Kaiden grumbled.
“And get the call from Bama.”
“Bama, nice. You think you have a shot?” Cole asked.
“Before the school burned down, I would have said yes,” his jaw ticked, “but now I’m not so sure.”
“Yeah, it must suck being at Rixon High your last season. But Coach is a fair guy. He’ll make sure you get a shot.”
“I hope so.” Kaiden’s eyes flicked to mine but he immediately glanced away.
My stomach sank. It seemed to be doing that a lot around him.
“Where’s Ashleigh?” Peyton asked.
“She went to check on Ezra.”
“Is he okay?”
“You know, E.” Aaron let out a thin breath. “He does his own thing.”
It was true. Ezra preferred his own company. But he and Ashleigh had struck up an odd friendship since he arrived at the Bennet’s a few years ago. Well, Ashleigh called it a friendship. The rest of us weren’t so sure. She was persistent and then some. Anyone else wouldn’t have stood a chance against her, but Ezra was… complicated.
I risked peeking over at Kaiden. Maybe if I was more like Ashleigh, I would have stood up for myself a little more when Kaiden dismissed me.
A heavy sigh slipped from my lips, but nobody noticed.
“Will you girls be at the pep rally Friday?” Bryan asked, his eyes fixed firmly on Peyton. She had that effect on guys. Drew them in with her flirty smiles and overt sexuality.
“Yeah, we’ll be there. Our dad would never let us live it down if we didn’t show our support for the team,” Poppy answered.
“He said there’s a thing at a bar after,” Bryan said around a mouthful of pizza.
“Bell’s? Yeah, it’s kind of the team’s hangout. The booster fund makes it an annual thing. There’s food and music. You’re coming?”
“Well yeah, we are Raiders now.”
That sent a ripple through the air. Because Bryan was right. They were Raiders now.
Whether people liked it or not.
We stayed at the Bennet’s until the sun sank into the tree line.
I watched out the corner of my eye as the guys said goodbye.
“Thanks for having us.” Kaiden and Aaron did that guy hug back slap thing. “See you at school tomorrow.”
“I’m just going to use the bathroom,” I whispered to Sofia, excusing myself. The Bennet’s was quiet except for the faint rumble of noise coming from the television in the living room. Mr. Bennet had gotten home a while ago and after coming to say a brief hello and warn us about the dangers of drinking and having sex, much to the embarrassment of Sofia and Aaron, had left us to it.
I made my way down the hall and slipped into the bathroom. When I was done, I washed my hands and dried them on the towel. I was on edge. Restless. My eyes darted to the ends of my braid, thinking how good it would feel to just sink my fingers into my roots and tug.
Clutching the edge of the marbled counter, I stared at myself in the mirror, wishing more than anything that I was someone else. But this wasn’t a fairy tale and there was no fairy godmother coming to turn me into a princess.
With a resigned sigh, I pulled open the door and stepped out into the hall, only to collide with Kaiden.
“Shit,” he grunted, backing away from me. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I rubbed my shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t—”
“Forget it. I just need to use the bathroom before we leave.” He moved around me and grabbed the door handle.
Just like that.
As if I was no one, nothing.
As if we hadn’t kissed just days ago.
Frustration pulsed through me as I walked away. But it quickly turned to anger.
Without thinking, I spun around and narrowed my eyes at him. “You know. I’ve heard things about you. About your dad. But never once, did I judge you.”
“Lily, that’s not—”
“I’m not done.” I cut him off, blood roaring in my ears. I didn’t speak to people like this, ever. But something had been brewing inside me ever since yesterday morning when Lindsey dropped the bomb that I was Coach Ford’s daughter.
“I know my dad is the coach. I know it complicates things. But I felt something at the party, and I think you did too.”
What was I saying?
Kaiden stared at me, giving nothing away. Under his intense regard, my temporary confidence began to slip.
“So I guess what I’m trying to say is—”
“Lily? Is that you?” Mr. Bennet’s voice echoed down the hall, and the blood drained from my face.
I glanced over my shoulder hoping he didn’t come out here. “We’re just leaving, Mr. B.”
“Okay,” he called back. “Tell your dad I’ll see him Friday at Bell’s.”
“Will do.”
Everything went quiet again and I looked back at Kaiden.
But the hallway was empty…
And he was gone.
Chapter Ten
Kaiden
“This is for you.” Lindsey pressed something against my chest, and I plucked it out of her fingers. “Surprise.”
I opened the envelope and resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the handwritten token declaring her my rally girl.
“So what, you’re going to bake me cookies and rub my shoulders before a game?”
She trailed her finger up my chest, leaning closer. “Officially, I’m here to encourage and support you. Unofficially, I’m available for whatever you need.”
Snagging her wrist, I dropped it between us. “I’m good thanks.”
“Seriously, Kaiden, what the fuck is your problem? I’m offering you no-strings sex and you’re going to pretend you don’t want me.”
“I don’t,” I snapped, already over her bullshit. I didn’t want a rally girl. I wanted to play football and get through senior year without doing some serious damage to Monroe’s face.
Although as the days went on, that was looking less and less likely. He was determined to push me to my breaking point and it was taking everything I had not to call him out on his bullshit.
“Come on, don’t be like that.” She sidled up to me. “We could have a ton of fun together.” Her lips were practically on my jaw, but it only made my skin itch.
“I have to get to practice.” Because Coach wanted to run us into the ground before making us attend the pep rally.
“My number is on there. Use it.”
Jesus, she was persistent.
I rounded the corner and immediately found Lily at her locker. She glanced over as if she felt me, her expression hardening.
I didn’t blame her. I’d left her hanging the other night at the Bennet’s. But I couldn’t stand there and listen to her spill her feelings when it didn’t change anything.
Dropping my gaze, I stalked past her without so much as a wo
rd. It was a dick move, but it was better she hated me than got it into her head that things would ever be more between us.
They wouldn’t.
They couldn’t… not now I knew the truth.
The locker room was electric when I walked inside.
“Yo, Thatch,” Bryan beckoned me over. “Word is Coach is going to announce the starting lineup for next Friday before practice.”
The knot in my stomach tightened. “It’ll be Monroe.”
“You don’t know—”
“Yeah, I do.” Monroe was Coach’s guy, his star QB, and I was the son of a guy he hated. My fate was decided the second I stepped foot into Rixon High.
It was the reason my mood had deteriorated over the course of the week. That and a certain blue-eyed girl I couldn’t get out of my fucking head.
She was everywhere, even when she wasn’t.
Fuck.
My fist clenched against my thigh. Maybe I should just fuck Lindsey and try to get Lily out of my system. It won’t work. No, it wouldn’t. Because she was under my skin. A place few people ever got to be. And all from one kiss in a boat shed.
But it was more than that. It was her. The way she tried to disappear in a crowd. How she hugged herself tight whenever she felt uncomfortable. The way her fingers always tugged on the ends of her braid without her even realizing.
I watched Lily, a lot. Around school when she didn’t even realize I was watching. Then there was AP English, when I had to sit right behind her for sixty torturous minutes every fucking day.
Shutting it all out, I got changed into my football uniform and plopped down on the bench. The second Coach appeared, a ripple went through the room. Monroe caught my eye and smirked.
Cocky fucker.
“Okay, ladies, listen up. This wasn’t an easy task, but I have to choose a starting lineup. If your name isn’t on the list, it doesn’t mean you won’t get game time this season.” His eyes settled on me. “This is a new season, a new team. If we want to get to the playoffs, we need to work together.”
“Try telling that to Monroe,” I muttered under my breath, and Bryan chuckled.
“Something you want to say, Thatcher?”