by Louise Hall
“Cate?” His t-shirt had bunched up just underneath her breasts, exposing the soft swell of her stomach. It was a reminder of exactly why he was doing this.
When he was satisfied that she’d calmed down, Kian released her wrists. “I’m scared what will happen when Liv finds out that whoever this guy is, that he isn’t her dad?”
Kian kissed her forehead, “what if he is? Come on, Cate, he must be out there somewhere.”
“He’s dead,” Cate said quietly. “He was walking across the road, he wasn’t concentrating because he was thinking about the new bike he was getting Ben for his birthday and he didn’t see the truck with the faulty brakes.”
“If that was true,” Kian said softly. “The hospital, the police would have told your mum.”
Cate indulged in fantasy, “as he was lying in the road, a pickpocket stole his wallet. They couldn’t tell us that he’d died, they didn’t know who he was because he didn’t have any ID on him.”
“You’ve thought about this?”
Cate looked up at him, at the amazing father to her daughter and sighed, “what’s the alternative? That he got up one morning and just decided that he didn’t want to be a father any more. He had a few slurps of coffee and left the mug on the kitchen table before he walked out of the front door, carrying his suitcase. While his pregnant partner was getting their three young children washed and dressed, he was at the bank emptying their savings account so that he wouldn’t have to start his new life penniless. As a dad, can you understand how he could do something like that?”
“No,” Kian shook his head. He would walk through fire for Cate and Lola. “You know I can’t.” Cate reached for her phone.
“What are you going to do? It’s nearly midnight.”
“I’m not going by myself.”
Kian winced; Rovers were at home tomorrow against Manchester City.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the front door. Kian followed Cate downstairs. It was Ben. “Is it true?” he asked Cate.
Cate shrugged her shoulders, “Liv thinks so. Remy is flying in to Gatwick tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t know if I can do this. Erin…”
His wife came up behind him. “I’ll be fine. You need to do this.”
Kian wrapped his arms around Cate, “I don’t want you to go.” He spun her around to face him, “and before you say anything, it’s not just because you’re pregnant.” She looked so fragile, “when was the last time you had a…” He didn’t say the words out loud. Apart from Liv, Cate didn’t want anybody else to know that she’d been having panic attacks.
“I’ll be OK,” Cate whispered.
As much as Kian wanted to trust that his wife was right, he couldn’t. Coming face to face with your biological father for the first time would be a big fucking deal for anybody. She wouldn’t be on her own; she’d be flanked by her brother and sisters. Kian thought back to his dad’s funeral; he’d been surrounded by family and friends – his mum, Sinead, his dad’s sisters but he’d never felt so alone. Each of them had had their own relationship with his dad, their own grief. It was the same here. Liv, Remy and Ben couldn’t be relied upon to support Cate; they would be too busy dealing with the quagmire of their own feelings. Cate had been the only light in the darkness of his dad’s funeral. He needed to be there for her now.
“Wait until tomorrow night and I’ll come with you,” Kian tipped her head back so he could look deep into those big, black eyes. If only he didn’t have a match tomorrow. “Please.”
Cate felt that tug beneath her ribs. There was nothing she wanted more than for Kian to be with her when she faced the man who might or might not be her biological father but she couldn’t wait another day. She could still hear Liv’s voice from the answer machine looping through her head. She’d sounded so broken.
“I can’t,” Cate shook her head. “Liv’s hurting. I need to be there for her now.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll leave as soon as the match has finished tomorrow.”
“No,” Cate shook her head. “I’ll be fine, I promise. I need you to stay here with Lola and Erin.”
Kian shook his head, “Cate…?” She was asking the impossible of him.
Cate brushed her lips over his; wanting him to know how grateful she was that he wasn’t fighting harder on this.
She caught Ben’s eye, “I’ll grab some things together and meet you back here in twenty minutes?”
When she and Ben were both packed and ready to leave, Kian held the door open for Cate and stuffed his free hand in the front pocket of his jeans. He didn’t want her to go. “I’ll text you when we get there,” Cate tried to reassure him. “It’s just one night.”
As Ben’s car turned at the end of Cooper Lane, Kian gritted his teeth, “I don’t like this.”
Erin patted his arm, “They need to do this, all of them, that shadow has been hanging over them for too darn long.”
“Wait,” Kian called as Erin turned to walk back to her empty house. “Why don’t you stay here tonight?”
Erin raised her eyebrows, “I’m fine.”
“Fuck,” Kian cursed, running his hands through his hair. “I’m entrusting Ben to look after my wife right now, I need to do the same for him.”
“OK,” Erin grabbed Monty’s collar and led him across the courtyard to Kian’s house.
CHAPTER 19
When they reached the top of the steep hill which led down to Calder Harbour, Ben nudged Cate, “we’re here.”
“Wow,” Cate gasped; it was picture-postcard beautiful. The sun was just starting to rise above the water, illuminating the small, white sailboats bobbing up and down on the gentle waves.
Ben parked at the side of the road and got out to stretch his legs. Cate had offered to share the driving with him but he’d refused. She followed him out of the car, letting the breeze whip her hair up off her shoulders.
It was strange to think that her sister had built a life here, so far from home.
“Have you got the address?” Ben asked Cate.
They got back in the car and drove slowly down the winding road until they reached the promenade. “I think it’s this way.”
There were no other cars on the promenade so they crawled along slowly, checking the numbers on each of the buildings.
“It’s there,” Cate yelped, surprised that they’d found it so quickly. She texted Kian to let him know that they’d got there safely.
There was a bakery on the ground floor but it didn’t open until 9am so they walked around the side of the building until they found another entrance. Ben buzzed the intercom.
When they pushed open the door, it led them into a dark hallway. There was a door to the left, which looked like it led to the kitchen behind the bakery. “Upstairs, I guess.”
At the top of the stairs was another door which was slightly ajar. Cate gave it a push and it swung back easily. Liv was sat on the single bed underneath the window. She was wearing a black lace dress with a black silk sash and black tights. “Hey.”
Liv brushed her long, light-brown hair away from her face. It hung almost to her waist now. She had a crease from the pillow marking her left cheek. “What are you doing here?”
“Jax called,” Cate folded her sister up in her arms. “He said you’d found…”
“The Sperm Donor,” Ben gritted his teeth.
Liv looked down at the threadbare carpet beneath her stocking feet.
“You shouldn’t have shouldered this all by yourself,” Ben paced back and forth. “Where’s the bastard now?”
“At home with his real family,” Liv’s bottom lip trembled.
“I’ve been so, so worried about you,” Cate said softly. It felt so good to hold her sister again.
Ben looked at the suitcase, “you were leaving? Where were you going?”
“I was going to join Jax on tour in America, I can’t stay here.”
Cate studied her sister’s face, despite the fact that she�
�d been crying most of the night, she looked good. Her beautiful blue eyes were clear and focused; Cate could tell that she hadn’t been drinking.
“Jax said you loved it here.” As they’d been driving away from Manchester last night, Cate had called him. He’d filled in some of the details of Liv’s new life in Calder Harbour.
“I did,” Liv nodded. “It felt like home, you know?”
Cate looked at the bedsit, it was small but cosy. Liv had threaded soft, white fairy-lights through the metal headboard and there was a thick, patchwork quilt folded up at the end of the bed. The only other furniture was a wobbly looking card table, fold-up chair and a hotplate. On the far wall, there was a corkboard and Liv had covered it with photos of their family. Cate was happy that she hadn’t completely forgotten them, even though she was living so far away.
“What’s she like?” Cate asked softly. “Ruby?”
If this Dexter Rathburn really was their biological father, then they also had a half-sister, Ruby. “Her middle name’s Tuesday,” Jax had said, “like the…”
“The Rolling Stones song,” Cate had finished for him. “Ruby Tuesday.” Although Cate had never met her biological father, Kian had a few memories of him. Their mums had first met at an antenatal class when Jean was pregnant with Kian and Cate’s mum, Irene was pregnant with Ben. The three things Cate knew about her biological father were (1) he had inky-black hair just like hers, which he always wore slicked back; (2) he smoked cigars and (3) he loved the Rolling Stones.
“I think she’s like we would have been if we hadn’t had all the dad baggage.”
Cate desperately wanted to hate Ruby. It was clear from the way Liv talked about her that they’d become really good friends. Nico, Ruby’s boyfriend, was Liv’s boss at the bakery downstairs.
“I’ve got a photo somewhere,” Liv retrieved her cell phone from the front pocket of her handbag. “That’s her.”
Cate felt a surge of jealousy as she looked at the selfie Liv had taken with Ruby. She hadn’t seen her sister look so happy and carefree since they were children; her beautiful blue eyes sparkled and she had a trail of pink icing on her cheek.
“That was from the Bake-A-Boob night we did at the bakery.”
It stung Cate to look at her sister in that photo and know that she hadn’t been able to find that happiness back home in Manchester with her family, with Cate. Instead, she’d found it here at the other end of the country with Ruby.
Ruby Tuesday. Dexter Rathburn must have really loved his daughter to have named her after one of his favourite songs. He didn’t even know Cate’s name.
Cate forced herself to look at what she was now certain was their half-sister. She had the same inky-black hair that Cate had; that their biological father had.
“I think you’ll really like her. She’s studying to be a Clinical Psychologist too.”
Cate looked down at her bump, “I’m not studying for anything. I’m just a receptionist, Liv.”
Liv backtracked, “now you are, because you’re pregnant. But after the baby’s born, you’ll go back to studying, right? I mean, you’ve always wanted to be a Clinical Psychologist.”
Ben looked over her shoulder, “wow, she looks just like you, Cate.”
Liv heard Nico’s van pull up outside the bakery. “Shit, I said I’d be gone before the morning.”
CHAPTER 20
Liv got up off the bed and quickly began pulling her family photos off the corkboard.
“You’re not sneaking out of here,” Ben grabbed the handle of her suitcase. “We’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”
Nico was just unlocking the back door to the bakery when Liv, Cate and Ben came down the stairs.
“Olivia?” Nico looked up in surprise.
Cate and Ben exchanged a look, Olivia? Liv had never been called that. “I’m so glad that you’re still here.”
“Nico,” Liv stumbled over her words, “this is my brother, Ben and my sister, Cate.”
“Hi,” Nico said, shaking Ben’s hand, “it’s good to meet you.”
“Wow,” Nico gasped when he saw Cate. “I’m sorry,” he blushed, “it’s just that you look so much like her.”
“So I’ve heard.”
Ben coughed, “do you know where we can find Dexter Rathburn?”
“Ben,” Liv put a hand on his arm, “please don’t. He’s not worth it.”
“He might not be,” Cate said, “but we are. We deserve the chance to confront him, all of us.”
“I’m afraid Olivia might be right,” Nico said. “You won’t get the answers you’re looking for from Mr Rathburn, he’s the most cold-hearted bastard I’ve ever met.” He looked at Cate and Liv, “please excuse my language, ladies.”
“How do we know you’re not just trying to protect your girlfriend and her family?” Cate asked.
“I can assure you I’m not,” Nico frowned. “I have no loyalty whatsoever to Mr Rathburn. I’ve seen first-hand how controlling he can be. When he found out that I was dating his daughter, he offered me a lot of money to break up with her. When that didn’t work, he threatened to go after everything I had – my business, my reputation. Ruby knows the horrible truth about her dad, there is nothing I can do or say now to protect her from that. If you decide to confront Mr Rathburn, she won’t be there. She’s staying with me.”
“I’m not looking for a happy ever after,” Ben grunted. “My wife, Erin is eight-months pregnant and we’re having a little boy. I just want to look that bastard in the eye and see what kind of a man deserts his family like that.”
“I’m coming with you,” Cate said. “If we’re doing this, we’re all doing it together.”
“I don’t know if I can see him again,” Liv trembled. “You should have heard him last night.”
“Listen to me,” Ben put his hands on Liv’s shoulders, “you can do this. He’s the one who left, OK? We’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, nothing.”
“Why don’t you come through to the bakery?” Nico suggested. “You’ve been awake all night; I’ll make you some good, strong coffee.”
They followed Nico through the kitchen to the café at the front. The red, velvet drapes were still closed affording them privacy from passers-by.
“What happened?” Cate asked.
Liv looked across at Nico, who was stood behind the counter waiting for the coffee machine to finish warming up. “When I first came here, I didn’t know that Ruby was Dexter Rathburn’s daughter, I swear. Kian and I were talking one night in the kitchen, I think you were getting Lo ready for bed, Cate and he said that I needed to get rid of all of the “peripheral bullshit” and work out what the real issue was. I don’t know, it just really resonated with me. I realised then that I was never going to be able to move forward with my life until I found my biological father. I couldn’t find out anything about him at first but then I snooped around at Mum’s house and found some old paperwork stuffed at the very back of a cupboard. Even then, the internet search only told me that he was married and owned several businesses in this area.”
“Did you have a plan of what you were going to say when you found him?”
Liv looked down at the mug of black coffee Nico had just put in front of her. “I probably should have done but no, I just packed a suitcase and jumped on the first train that would take me to Calder Harbour. I didn’t even book somewhere to stay until 2am the next morning when the train stopped for an hour in Birmingham. It was really early when I got here and I hadn’t charged up my phone so almost as soon as I stepped onto the platform it completely ran out of battery. I knew the bed and breakfast I’d booked was on this less touristy side of the promenade but it was raining so hard I could barely see in front of me. I thought I’d wait out the rain in the doorway to the bakery.”
“Which would have been a good plan,” Nico smiled, “if I hadn’t suddenly opened the door.”
“Oh, no!” Cate gasped.
“Yep,” Liv nodded. “I’d been leaning on the door so of cour
se I went flying backwards into the carpeted hallway. I was mortified so I quickly tried to sit up again but only succeeded in face-planting into poor Nico’s derriere, sending him lurching forward and spilling the entire contents of the hot-pink boxes he’d been carrying onto the wet pavement.”
Ben chuckled, “only you, Liv.”
“When I tried to help him pick them all up, I realised that the boxes had been full of biscuits shaped like…”
“Like this…” Nico said, putting a plate of cookies down on the table in front of them. “I know they’re a little unconventional but I thought you might be hungry after your long journey.”
“What the…?” Ben exclaimed.
“Liv had that exact same look on her face when she saw them for the first time,” Nico smiled. “They’re very popular at bachelorette parties.”
“So this is…” Ben looked around at the quirky décor inside the café.
“It’s an erotic bakery,” Liv explained. “Nico specialises in making biscuits and cakes that resemble certain parts of a man or woman’s anatomy.”
“Erin dragged me to somewhere like this when we were in San Francisco a couple of years ago,” Ben nodded, still looking a little warily at the penis-shaped cookies in front of him. “I didn’t eat one though.”
“I know I’m supposed to be the shy one in this family,” Cate said, “but I’m really hungry right now. Will you two promise not to make fun of me if I try one?”
“Can’t promise that,” Ben teased.
“Mm, that’s so good,” Cate murmured after her 2nd bite of the cookie.
Ben frowned, “I feel like I’m going to have to bleach my eyes out after watching my little sister put that in her mouth. Those cookies look way too realistic.”
“You can thank Liv for that,” Nico insisted, “she does most of the decorating here at the bakery.”
Liv took another big gulp of coffee. “When he realised that most of the cookies he’d made for the bachelorette party were ruined, Nico was in such a grump but Ruby assured him that they had plenty of time before the delivery was due to make another batch. She could see that I was soaked through and freezing cold and insisted that I come back into the kitchen with them to warm up. While I was waiting for my things to dry on the radiators, I was messing about with a discarded biscuit and some leftover pink and black icing. Ruby must have liked what I’d done because she sweet-talked Nico into giving me a job at the bakery and letting me rent the bedsit upstairs.”