by Louise Hall
She was stood by the window, looking out at the countryside so he took a few seconds to appreciate just how goddamn lucky he was. His fingers itched to tangle themselves up in her inky black hair which was pinned up on one side and then flowed loosely down her back in undulating waves. The maternity dress she was wearing had a long black jersey skirt which modestly hugged her bump before cascading down to just below her knees and the bodice was black scalloped lace with dainty cap sleeves and a hint of dusky pink sheen underneath.
He noticed that she was chewing on her bottom lip and he assumed that she was nervous about hosting the party tonight. Even though it was just going to be friends and family, she’d always been shy in big, noisy gatherings.
He remembered how terrified she’d been when he’d asked her to come with him to the glitzy awards dinner that Rovers held each year at the end of the season. Even though they’d been married for six years, this year was the first time that he’d ever asked her to accompany him. He usually went alone. The organisers always asked a number of Rovers’ celebrity fans to present awards and so the red carpet in front of the stadium was always mobbed by photographers.
For the first four years of their marriage, Kian had never publicly acknowledged that he had a wife and daughter. He’d thought that he was doing the right thing by protecting Cate and Lola from the intense scrutiny that came with being the family of a high-profile professional footballer. It was only last year, while they’d been separated for six months after he cheated on her with one of his sister’s friends at the World Cup, that Cate had admitted that although she didn’t want to be a WAG, his refusal to publicly acknowledge their marriage had made her feel like his dirty little secret.
“Wow,” Kian marvelled as he stepped fully into the room, “it looks amazing in here.”
“Thank you,” Cate smiled. As he kissed her cheek, she tried to slip her phone back into her bag without him noticing.
“Is everything OK?” he noticed that her eyes were glossy and he sensed that it was more than just nerves about the party tonight.
“It’s stupid,” Cate shook her head. “I really don’t want to talk to her but I still keep checking my phone to see if she’s called.” Her mum and Remy had left several messages but there was nothing from Liv.
“Angel…”
“I told you it was stupid,” Cate shrugged. “I’m not going to ruin the party tonight. Forget I said anything, I’m blaming it on the pregnancy hormones.”
Before he could reply, the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” Lola yelped, running towards the front door.
India was the last of the guests to arrive. “I’m sorry I’m late. I was just about to leave when my Mum called and you know what she’s like once she gets started…”
“Oh no,” Cate sympathised. She’d spoken to Caroline a couple of times when she’d phoned the office.
After she’d introduced India to the other guests, they went into the kitchen so Cate could get her a glass of champagne.
“Are the other girls coming later?” India asked. “Please don’t tell me that they’re the sort that always has to go to the bathroom together.”
“What other girls?”
India gestured towards Matteo, Domenico and Raimondo. She could still see them through the open door. “You know, their wives or girlfriends… Lucky goddamn bitches,” she added under her breath.
Cate laughed, “actually they’re all single as far as I know.”
“What?” India’s jaw dropped. “You’re telling me that those three gorgeous, Italian hunks are all single and I’m only finding out about this now! I’m seriously wounded. I thought we were friends, Cate Warner.”
“I’m sure you’ll get over it. Come on, let’s get back to the party.”
“Not so fast,” India put a hand on her arm. “You owe me some intel.”
“Okay,” Cate chuckled, “you must know the one in the middle, that’s Matteo Di Vela, he’s one of Kian’s team mates at Rovers?”
“I know it’s probably sacrilege to admit it in this house but I’m not really a fan of football,” India said sheepishly.
“Ugh, don’t let any of the footballers hear you say that,” Cate teased. “They’ll definitely try and convert you.”
“What about the one on the right, is he a footballer too?” India asked, pointing at Domenico.
Cate shook her head, “No, that’s Dom, Matteo’s cousin. He’s an artist; he’s the one who painted the mural for the new baby’s nursery.”
“Wow,” India gasped, “he’s really talented; that mural is gorgeous.”
After the meal, Sara and Yoakey were the first to leave because Noah was tired. “It was lovely to finally meet you,” India gave Sara a hug as they all gathered by the front door, “but I feel like being around all of you gorgeous, pregnant ladies tonight, I’m definitely going to have to double up on my pill.”
Domenico raised an eyebrow, “you don’t want babies, India?”
“Oh no, I definitely want them,” India said. “I just want to find a husband first. I’m traditional like that.”
Matteo rolled his eyes, “you sound just like Dom here.”
“Ha,” scoffed Raimondo, “says Mr “I just want a normal girl that my mama will like”.”
“Just because Domenico and I don’t have revolving doors in our bedrooms,” Matteo retorted.
“Why don’t you have a regular door for your bedroom?” Lola asked. She’d got changed into her pyjamas but Kian had brought her downstairs to say goodnight to their guests.
“Because I’m not a regular guy,” Raimondo shifted awkwardly.
“Are you a superhero?”
“No but…”
“That’s so cool that you have a revolving door in your bedroom like they have at the supermarket. Can I see it one day?”
“Absolutely not,” Kian said gruffly.
“But Daddy…”
“It’s time for bed, young lady. Say goodnight to everybody.”
“I’m so sorry,” Matteo said after Kian and Lola had gone back upstairs. “I didn’t think that Lola was going to come back downstairs again.”
“It’s OK,” Cate couldn’t keep from laughing. “My girl’s always had impeccable timing.”
While this had all been happening, Cate noticed that India and Domenico had gradually been inching closer to each other. “Can I give you a lift somewhere, India?” Domenico asked.
“Actually…” Sinead started. She and Fabrizio were supposed to be giving India a lift home from the party but she was quickly silenced by a glare from India.
“That would be great actually. Thank you so much.”
CHAPTER 32
“Happy anniversary,” Kian came up behind his wife as she was brushing her teeth. The last of their guests had left about an hour ago. Although they’d got married in summer, they’d had their first kiss on Christmas Eve and so they’d always celebrated that as their anniversary.
“Happy anniversary,” Cate took a swig of mouthwash, spat it out and then turned to face him, her bump keeping them further apart than she’d like. “Ugh, I miss you.”
“It’s not for long,” Kian said softly, lifting up her t-shirt to stroke the taut skin of her abdomen.
“I know but it’s our anniversary,” Cate frowned. “I want you to make love to me.”
“Come here,” Kian reached for her hands and led her back into the bedroom. “We can still make love, you know.”
“I know but I want to be able to see you,” Cate stroked the blue-black stubble on his jawline.
Kian tugged off his t-shirt, exposing his drool-worthy chest.
“Now, you’re just being cruel,” Cate scowled.
He pushed down his trousers and boxer shorts so that he was naked.
“I’m going to sleep in the guest bedroom.”
“No, you’re not,” Kian sat down on the bed and trapped her between his muscular thighs. He lifted up her t-shirt, exposing her swollen breasts and abdomen. “I’m
going to make love to you, angel.”
Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, “you can’t. I’m so huge. I haven’t been able to see my feet for a month.”
“Hey, don’t cry,” Kian said softly, wiping away her tears with his thumb. “You are so fucking beautiful.”
He undid the tie and her pyjama trousers fell to her ankles, leaving her naked apart from a scrap of dusky-pink lace.
Cate stroked her fingers through his hair, wanting so desperately to believe him.
He moved backwards until he was lying in the centre of the mattress and Cate was straddling his thighs.
“Kian?” she didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t usually like Cate being on top.
He reached down and ripped off the scrap of lace, the last barrier between them. “Take me inside you.”
“You want to do it like this?” Cate asked. She felt so big and cumbersome. “I’ll hurt you.”
Kian reached for her hand and pressed it against his groin, “you won’t hurt me, I promise. If we try to do it any other way, I could hurt you or the baby.”
Cate tried to climb off him. “Maybe you should just do it from behind?”
Kian gripped on to her hips, “I want to see you, Cate. I want to see those beautiful, black eyes when you come for me.”
He fought his own climax for as long as he possibly could; wanting to savour every moment of watching Cate shatter so intensely above him.
As Cate started to come down from her orgasm, aftershocks still sparking through her body, she felt Kian twitch between her legs. “Fuck, Cate.” His fingers gripped her hips so tightly she was certain she’d have fingertip-shaped bruises there tomorrow. He jerked and she watched in delight as his face contorted with ecstasy. There was nothing sexier than watching her husband climax.
The bed dipped as Kian got up to go to the bathroom.
“Merry Christmas,” he chuckled as he sat down beside her on the bed. He parted her legs again, cleaning between them with a warm, damp flannel.
Cate looked at the clock at the side of the bed, it was 12:05.
“Merry Christmas,” she entwined her fingers through his.
Kian put the flannel down on the bedside table and reached for her hand. He sucked her ring finger into his mouth; she still tasted of sex. “You’re my wife.”
He cradled her ribs and pressed his lips against the taut skin of her abdomen, “you’re the mother of my children.”
He looked up at Cate, who looked as if she might start crying again. “Don’t cry.”
Cate laughed; a single tear trickling down her flushed cheek, “you can’t tell a pregnant woman not to cry.”
“I can try,” Kian laughed. He looked serious for a moment, “you’re my best friend, Cate.”
“You’re mine too,” Cate sniffled, wondering where all this was coming from.
Kian knelt down and pulled something out from underneath the bed. He held it behind his back.
He reached for her hand and rubbed his thumb over the simple wedding band on her finger. He’d never bought Cate an engagement ring; there had only been a couple of days between him proposing and them getting married in Las Vegas.
“Merry Christmas, angel,” Kian handed her the Tiffany’s box.
“Kian,” Cate struggled to sit up. “What is it?”
“You’ll have to open it and find out,” Kian teased. Even though she was married to a Premier League footballer, Cate had never been obsessed with material things.
Cate opened the box. “Oh, my goodness!” The ring nestled inside was one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. It looked like an intricate vine except that all of the tiny leaves were what looked like diamonds.
“Try it on,” Kian urged, removing the ring from the box. He reached for her hand, which was trembling.
“I can’t,” Cate shook her head, “it’s too much.”
Kian frowned, “don’t you like it?”
“I love it,” Cate gulped. “It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.”
Kian turned it around, “it’s an eternity ring. See, it’s got diamonds all the way around the band.”
He reached for her hand again and slid the eternity ring down her finger until it was above her wedding ring. “I know you’re scared about what’s going to happen.” Kian rubbed his hand over her bump. “I love you, Cate. I knew I loved you seven years ago when we had our first kiss in the alleyway at the side of your mum’s house.”
Cate was crying freely now. Kian held her beautiful face in his hands. “Each and every single day since then, I’ve loved you more.”
“I love you too,” Cate hiccupped. “I haven’t got anything to give you.”
“You’ve given me everything,” Kian brushed his lips over hers. He laid her back on the bed and tucked the duvet around them. “In that small chapel in Las Vegas, when you agreed to be my wife…” He remembered her pausing at the top of the steps. In the flickering candlelight, she’d looked like an angel in that beautiful, white dress. He’d been convinced that she’d change her mind before they took their vows. As she’d walked down the aisle towards him, he’d seen the doubt in her big, black eyes. He hadn’t realised until months later that she hadn’t known if he’d loved her; if he’d only asked her to marry him because of the baby.
“You made me a husband,” Kian slid her cold feet between his calves. “You made me think about somebody apart from just myself. You.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Cate shook her head. “You’re a good man, Kian.”
CHAPTER 33
After they’d opened their presents, Kian had to join up with the Rovers squad to travel down to Southampton. “Why does Daddy have to go?” Lola asked Cate as they watched Kian’s Range Rover turn at the end of Cooper Lane.
“He has to go to work, sweetie,” Cate tried to explain. “Rovers are playing Southampton tomorrow.”
“But it’s Christmas,” Lola’s bottom lip wobbled. “I miss him already.”
Without Kian, the house felt so empty. “Do you want to watch a movie?” Cate suggested. “You pick.”
Lola shook her head, “I’m too sad to watch a movie, Mummy.”
“Come here,” Cate cuddled her daughter. “I don’t like to see you sad, sweetie. What can I do to make it better?”
“Is Daddy going to come back?” Lola asked.
“Of course he is,” Cate said. “When you wake up the day after tomorrow, Daddy will be home again.”
“Auntie Liv didn’t come home,” Lola rested her head on Cate’s knee. “Mummy, I don’t like Christmas anymore.”
“This wasn’t Auntie Liv’s home, Lo. She was just staying here for a little while.”
“I miss her.”
It didn’t matter what Cate suggested, all Lola wanted to do was lie on the sofa and mope.
Cate walked into the kitchen. Lola was right; it didn’t feel like Christmas Day. It was too quiet. As she poured herself a glass of apple juice, her eternity ring sparkled in the sunlight. It was beautiful but for Cate what made it extra-special were the words which had accompanied it.
She felt foolish for ever thinking that Ruby could be a threat to her marriage and family. The truth was, apart from the fact that she’d been named after a Rolling Stones song; Cate knew almost nothing about her half-sister.
Vanessa was right; the estrangement from her family wasn’t because of Ruby or even Dexter Rathburn. Ruby had every right to want to get to know her half-brother and sisters. It was because of Liv.
“Come on,” Cate walked back into the lounge, where Lola was still curled up on the sofa. “We’re going out.”
“I don’t want to,” Lola pouted.
“Tough,” Cate said, reaching for her daughter’s hand. “I’m your mummy.”
Cate stopped the car in front of the small patch of grass on the opposite side of the road to her mum’s house. “We’re going to Granny Reen’s?” Lola bounced up and down excitedly in her seat. “Will Auntie Liv be
there?”
As Cate walked down the steep, gravel driveway towards her childhood home, her legs felt like they were hollow. She was terrified of seeing her mum and sisters again. She had to keep reminding herself that she was doing this for Lola. She might not be able to spend Christmas Day with her daddy but at least she could be with her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Taking a deep breath, she pulled off her glove and rang the doorbell.
“Auntie Cate?” Rocco opened the front door. He was almost a teenager now.
“Hi,” Cate faked a smile. “We’re not interrupting, are we?” She had a sudden thought that maybe they’d all just sat down for Christmas dinner.
“Nah,” Rocco shrugged. “Granny Reen burned the turkey so she and Dad have gone to see if there are any shops still open.”
“Rocco, who is it?” Remy called. Cate heard her sister’s footsteps click-clacking down the hallway.
“Cate?”
“Hi Remy,” Cate said awkwardly.
Remy turned to Rocco, “why don’t you take Lola upstairs to the playroom, you can play that new FIFA game?”
“Sure,” Rocco shrugged. He reached for Lola’s hand, “you probably want to be Rovers like your dad, huh?”
“I’m…” Cate shifted awkwardly after they’d gone.
“Thank fuck,” Remy hugged Cate tightly, squeezing all the air out of her lungs. “It didn’t feel right without you here.”
Tears trickled down Cate’s cheeks. She’d missed her family so much. “Darn pregnancy hormones,” she cursed. “I can’t stop crying at the moment.”
As she reached up to wipe them away, Remy noticed her new ring. “Wow, that’s gorgeous.”
“Um, thanks?” Cate blushed. “It was a Christmas present from Kian.”
She heard footsteps coming up the stairs from the basement. “Is Vin back? I’m bloody starving.”
Cate froze at the sound of Liv’s voice. “Cate?”
“Let me take your coat,” Remy interrupted. “I’ll put it in the laundry room with the others.”
When Cate turned around, Liv was stood at the top of the stairs, with Ruby and Nico just behind her. It was strange coming face-to-face with her half-sister for the first time. Cate had built her up into this almost mythical creature.