by J. L. Beck
The thought had his fists clenching, until he noticed her eyes were locked on them.
When her eyes flipped to his, the gaze in them tore him up. At least with his relationship, he hadn’t been married and abused. He had nothing on the pain she felt right now.
So he did the only thing he could think of.
He opened his arms up to her. Even though she was weary of him, even though he was putting himself out there in a way he hadn’t before and it scared him shitless, something told him to just offer the support.
That little voice in the back of his head hadn’t been wrong. With a sniffle, she unfurled her body and launched herself at him.
Britt had always been a tall, muscular woman. She worked out almost daily and took pride in being a health nut. The two of them had worked mostly because of their lifestyles.
With Kate, though, there wasn’t an ounce of muscle on her small frame. She fit damn near perfectly against his frame and the amount of emotion choking him as he put his arms around her made him speechless.
The reality of what he had helped her done slammed into him like a tank. If he hadn’t been sitting down, the realization would have knocked him off his feet. As it was, the thought of breathing suddenly became hard.
“He—he’s a horrible husband,” she whispered, lifting her head from his chest to gaze at him. Her eyes were red and puffy, the depths of them somehow looking even deeper and more abysmal.
“I’m sorry.” What else could he say? I’ll never let him hurt you again.
The words were on the tip of his tongue. Shit, all the words in the world were on the tip of his tongue when she looked at him like that.
“Not only is he—is he an asshole, but he’s… There’s another woman.”
Clouds darkened his vision. Justin, that dirty, disgusting piece of shit, had really managed to screw Kate over.
“What are you going to do?” he asked, jaw ticking. There were a few things he wanted to do—first and foremost, showing Justin just how much it hurt to get knocked around. But he didn’t say that. No, he had to let her take control of the conversation, because there was no way he was going to push her into saying things she wasn’t emotionally capable of saying just yet.
“I’m…I’m going to leave him. For good. I have to… Don’t I?”
He knew it was the victim in her, questioning her rationale, but it still made him see red.
“Listen to me,” he said quietly, staring down at her. “You have two choices.”
She blinked, wiping from under her cheeks. For some odd reason, his hand itched to push hers out of the way and do it for her.
“You can either leave him and find happiness on your own or with someone who will value you, or you can go back to him. You can go back to the abuse, to the hitting. To constantly wondering what’s going to set him off. To constantly wondering if he’s with another woman, or talking to another woman. You can find security, or you can stay…with him.”
She scrubbed a hand down her face, pulling back from him slightly. He immediately missed the heat of her.
What the hell was wrong with him?
“The thing is… I haven’t worked in years because of him. He wanted a housewife, someone to stay home, cook, clean… And my family—I have no where else to turn but to them and the last time I talked to my dad, he practically disowned me for leaving with Justin. He never approved of him.”
For good reason, he thought. Yeah, Justin and him might have known each other in high school, but he had always known the man was an ass. Now so more than ever.
“So, you’re worried that by leaving Justin, you’ll…”
“Be homeless,” she said quietly. “Jobless. Still worthless.”
That had his heart tightening in a way he’d only ever felt when staring down the barrel of a gun.
“I have a spare room.”
The words came out before he could stop them, but even then, he doubted he would have tried to. There was something about her that he wanted—no, needed—to protect.
A tiny smile curled her lips. With her gaze in her lap, their bodies so close yet not touching, she shook her head.
“I couldn’t ask that of you, Gage. You and Justin…you’re friends.”
He barked a laugh. “No. Not friends. Acquaintances—and after this, nothing.”
“You’d choose helping me over him?” she asked, bringing her head up to look at him.
“Kate. You have a place here for as long as you need. I can even help you get a job—shit, you could work for me if you wanted. I know lawyers who can help with the divorce, I—“
She flung herself at him and at first, he enjoyed it—until he heard the sob come from her.
“What—why are you crying? Kate, why are you crying—“
“I’m just… You’re like a knight in shining armor. And I swear—I will make this up to you.” She pulled back slightly, and their eyes locked.
Kate gave no warning before she reached up, took his jaw in her hand, and then pressed her lips to his.
He immediately fell into it. Sliding his arms around her waist, he dragged her against his chest until she was straddling him. When her legs settled on either side of him, her body rubbed against his jeans—and that’s when he realized the words she’d said right before she kissed him.
With a groan, he took her by the shoulders and pushed her back, trying to be as gentle yet firm as possible.
“This is not how you’re going to repay me,” he grated, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I am not—“
“Gage,” she whispered, peering at him. God, but her breath was sweet. He could still taste it, still taste her kiss. From the way she sat on him, her breasts were level with his head, and at eye-level, the gentle swell of cleavage called to him.
Shit.
“Gage, listen to me.” His eyes snapped to hers, and he knew he looked like a mad man. It had been years since he’d had a woman on top of him—and now he was telling her no? Because he had these stupid things called morals?
What the hell was his problem?
“This isn’t how I’m paying you back. I’m not—I’m not having sex with you because you’re helping me save myself.”
“Really?” He looked pointedly between them. “Then what is this? Because it definitely feels—“
“I’ve not been able to choose what to wear in a year. I’ve not felt truly safe with my husband in a year. Hell, I haven’t been sexually active with him and apparently, he’s still getting it on the side. What I want to do right now? It’s not for you. It’s not to repay you. It’s not even to get back at Justin for what he’s done to me both emotionally and physically. It’s for myself.”
He swallowed thickly, trying to take in the weight of her words.
“You’re married,” he reminded her quietly. Anything—he’d say anything to stop this from happening. There was a chance she’d hate him in the morning, that she would hate herself if they went through with it. But then, there was also the chance that she would hate him for telling her no right now.
All he knew was that either way, he was going to end up the bad guy.
And if he let it go on, there would be no stopping. Four years without the touch of a female, and suddenly, there was this beautiful, damn near perfect woman sitting on top of him, taking control of her life in a very skewed, probably unhealthy way—and he was turned the hell on.
8
Gage was silent as he watched her, and for once?
The silence didn’t bother her.
There was no tension, no anxiety that the silence would explode into a battle match. There was no fear of her having to keep her distance from him in the event that he flipped his lid.
There was none of that as she watched the conflicted emotions run through his face. And, as try as she might, there was no guilt, either.
The second Justin laid a hand on her, he had shattered their marriage. Finding out that he had kept another woman a secret? That their sex life had suffered
so detrimentally that he had felt the need to find it somewhere else?
It hurt.
It hurt like a bitch.
But…that was over with. Done with. When she thought of Justin, she didn’t feel anger, she didn’t feel fear. She didn’t feel anything. Now that she was away from him and she had an out, all of that fear where he was concerned was just…gone.
The space in her heart that had been so shattered before was just a void now. A dark abyss, bereft of emotions that should have rendered her terrified of Gage.
As her hand slowly lifted to touch his cheek, all she could think of was the fact that this was her choice. She was in control. Finally, after so long of living in fear of arguments and Justin himself, she was able to say, “I want this, so I’m taking it.”
The thing that made this all better?
Gage wanted it, too. Even if he was trying to play the Good Guy role and remind her she was legally married to another man—he still wanted it. Still wanted her. And that’s all she cared about right now.
“So you…just want the control,” he said, his voice so deep it sent a shiver down her back.
“I want more than the control.” She trailed her fingers up the nape of his neck, to the back of his head. Unlike Justin, his hair was trimmed to his skull. A jarhead cut, she thought.
It worked for him.
“And you,” she admitted, the truth not a surprise at all. Was it mentally sane of her to want someone so soon after deciding to leave Justin?
Probably not.
But he had helped her when no one she knew would have. He had helped her purely on his own accord. He had helped her, a stranger, without even knowing who she was besides a battered woman.
That right there was enough to tell her he was worth this, even if “this” was only for a night.
She wanted to make this worth it.
“Shit, Kate.” His voice was nothing more than a growl and that was all it took to send her over the edge.
Tightening her grip on the back of his neck, she simultaneously pulled him in and leaned down, and he gladly met her halfway. Their kiss was heated and awakening. Like just the soft stroke of his tongue urging her lips open was enough to build a raging fire inside of her, he brought her to life.
She wanted to enjoy this, to enjoy her freedom, but the rush of lust and forbidden desire threw all of that out the window. She might want to take it slow, but she also wanted him now.
The latter won out.
With a soft moan, she pulled back from the kiss to reach for the hem of his shirt. Pulling, pushing it up frantically. He was right there with her, taking her shirt from the bottom and quickly pulling it above her head, leaving her in nothing but her bra and jeans.
“Not fair,” she said. “I can’t be the only one without a shirt.”
He gave her a quick grin and then reached between them to lift his own shirt off.
The sight that met her eyes was enough to have her mouth watering.
“Holy…shit.”
“Eleven years in the military,” he said, the pride in his voice making her smile.
“It did you well.”
He shrugged, then slid his hands under her ass. Gasping, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on as he pushed away from the couch.
“If we’re going to do this, it’s not going to be on the couch.”
Halfway up the stairs is as far as they made it before she started kissing his neck.
“Kate,” he grunted, his steps slowing as he walked up the stairs with her wrapped around him like a snake. “Kate, stop. Just let us get to my bed and…”
The words fell away with a muffled moan and their steps stopped completely. She slid her hand between them, reaching for the zipper of his jeans.
“Shit—No, wait—“ She pushed it down and worked on the button, keeping her laugh to herself. She loved his struggle to control himself, loved that she was doing this to him. Loved that there was nothing but pure, untamed lust between them.
“Don’t you dare stick your hands in my—oh, fuck me—“
His grip on her ass became so rough that she knew there’d be marks in the morning, but as her hand wrapped around his cock and gently squeezed, she knew she wouldn’t care. At least those bruises would be worth it.
“Kate, I swear to God. If you don’t stop, I’m going to fuck you on the stairs.”
She pulled back from his neck, moving her wrist in a way that would help create more room for her hand to pump around him. He was large in her hand. Hard. Hot.
“You won’t,” she said, goading him. At this point, she didn’t care where they did it. She was being swept up in a haze of need, intrigue, and excitement. She wanted him—and she wanted him now.
“I will,” he said, his tone more promising than threatening.
She gave him a gentle tug, nipping his neck.
“Then do it.”
That’s all it took. Those three words, and he was lowering himself onto his knees, setting her ass on the stair, and then gripped her jeans and panties, yanking them off her waist. Once those were off, he made quick work of her bra while steeling a heated kiss from her lips.
With the bra tossed down the stairs, she was completely naked. Completely barred to him. And oddly…she didn’t feel the need to hide. She didn’t feel anything except her overwhelming desire for him.
And once her eyes dipped down to the cock that sprung past the open clasp of his jeans, that desire turned into a rampant need that left her breathless.
He shucked off the jeans without a problem, then climbed above her. Her ass burned from the rub of the carpet on the stairs, but it didn’t compare to how badly she wanted him. This was something she had never done, never felt the security to do with Justin. He hadn’t been adventurous, not in terms of sex.
“I’m going to fuck you, Kate. Right here. Right on the stairs. Do you want me to stop?”
You’re still technically married, a voice in the back of her head whispered. It was the voice that Gage wanted her to hear, the voice he had planted there by asking that question and giving her an out.
She narrowed her eyes on him, reached between them, grabbed his cock, and then guided it to her core. The first brush of contact had the both of them moaning.
With the intense expectation of sex hanging over her head, the whisper of thoughts started to float through her head, thoughts she wished she never would have let come through.
This would be her first time having sex with a man in three years who she wasn’t married to. This would be her first time thinking of another man, touching another man, kissing another man… Her first time taking another man into her body.
Her eyes fluttered to look at him.
Gage was braced above her. His knees were between hers, two stairs lower than the one her ass rested on, and his arms were braced above her head. While she was the one holding his cock and rubbing it against her clit, he was strained, obviously fighting the need to take over and slam home.
He was letting her figure out the pace and determine it.
If that wasn’t encouragement, she didn’t know what was.
The thoughts, the underlying doubt, all fled, and she adjusted her grip on him so that she could angle him at her entrance, giving him a clear shot.
He took it.
Took her.
Everything went quick from here. He slid right in, her body more than ready and welcoming, and then pulled back—just to slam himself inside of her. His cock pushed past her lips, plunging inside of her with an ease that left her dying for more.
“Gage,” she whimpered, trying to brace her arms on the step while still managing to grab his arm. “Gage, this—“
He didn’t let her speak. Instead, he leaned down, still pumping hard inside of her, and kissed the words out of her mouth.
She was more than fine with that.
Kate tried her best to match him thrust for thrust, her body craving completion, but the steps were leaving rug burn on her cheeks
.
“Gage,” she said between kisses. “Take me—take me to your room.”
He grunted, but listened. With one hand sliding under her ass, he deftly lifted her from the stairs while her arms and legs twined around them, keeping them close together, his cock still buried inside of her. Every movement with him inside of her was one more push to the orgasm.
When he kicked open a door, he made a beeline to the bed. Just as soon as he had her laying back on the bed, he was thrusting inside of her, finally in a position to where he could get to her breasts.
One hand held her hip still, and the other reached for her breast. He only gave her nipple a brief tug before he leaned down and laved it with his tongue, taking it between his teeth and gently nipping.
That, coupled with the steady rhythm of his large body against hers, brought on the first swell of the climax. The excitement and disbelief that this was truly happening, that she was actually enjoying sex with another man like Gage, intensified everything.
Kate lifted her legs, wrapping them around his waist. When her hands came up to hold his head to her breast and the moans became louder to the point of being near cries of desperation, Gage growled against her skin and then pulled back. Both hands grabbed her hips, holding her steady, as he started to move quicker, harder.
His cock pounded inside of her and seconds later, that swell turned into a raging hurricane with a crest that seemed to never end. When she cried out, it was his name on her lips, his groans of completion mixing with her soft sobs of relief.
“Gage,” she whimpered as he pulled out of her. “Gage… Thank you.”
“That’s an odd thing to say.” His voice sounded as exhausted as she was, but he still managed to help her slid up the bed and under the covers. He followed soon after, even going as far to take her into his arms so that she was forced to sprawl across his chest.
Not that she minded.