by J. L. Beck
6
I opened my eyes, as much as I could with a night full of liquor and regret in them, and sucked back a scream. Two figures loomed over me, and if they hadn’t come into focus quickly I might have started swinging blindly.
“What are you two doing? Trying to give me a heart attack?” I sat up and the room spun. I laid back down, gingerly.
“If we were, it would serve you right.” Asher said, cocky grin plastered over his face.
I frowned. My brain wasn’t quite booted up yet. “Huh?”
Eli spoke next, sitting down on the side of the bed and taking my hand into his. “You scared the hell out of us last night, running off like that. Not to mention how you declared you never wanted to see either of us again. If anyone’s heart is trashed, it would be ours.”
Right. It was all coming back to me in a blur and I pulled a pillow over my face while I tried to figure out something to say. How does one apologize for being a drunk bitch, while not negating the reasons behind her rant? It was a conundrum, for sure.
Asher pulled away my pillow-defense and sat on the other side of me. “In case you are wondering, Eli and I have been together all night. Drinking, commiserating and trying to figure out just what the hell happened at the club.”
“You have?” My voice sounded like an eighty-year-old chain-smoker’s. But not nearly as sexy.
“Yep,” said Eli. “After you dumped us and ran out of there like your hair was on fire, we had a lot to discuss.”
I looked to both of them. At least no one had a black eye. And they didn’t seem to be cross, at each other or me, so that was a good thing. It still didn’t change how I felt though. I needed to get that right out in the open, sober this time.
“I’m glad you two are now BFF’s, but that doesn’t really change anything about last night. I meant what I said—well most of it—but it’s the part about not choosing between you two that I’m talking about.” My voice cracked and I looked to the ceiling, willing away the tears with shear stubbornness.
The room was eerily silent for several beats. When I couldn’t take it any longer, I finally looked back to them. Eli and Asher seemed to be having some sort of silent conversation about me, judging by the glances and gestures shooting my way.
Eli cleared his voice. “That’s what we, uh, wanted to talk to you about.”
“Don’t worry, Tiger, we heard you loud and clear. And we’re prepared to respect your wishes, if it comes to that…” Asher said, chewing on his bottom lip.
“But we think you’ve overlooked a possible solution.” Eli chimed in.
I cocked my eyebrow at him and frowned. “What’s that? Advanced medical grade cloning? Shared custody of me?”
Asher popped me on my bare leg. “No. For someone so smart, you sure can be a dingus some times.”
Did Asher just call me a dingus? I must still be drunk, I thought.
Eli stroked the palm of my hand. “Well, you’re half-right. We don’t want you to date us both. We think,” he nodded to Asher, “that we could try something outside of the societal norms. Like group dating.”
He spoke quickly and gulped when he was finished. That spoke volumes about how uncomfortable Eli was with the whole situation and hurt my heart for him. I took a minute to consider their proposal, trying to figure out the logistics and such. I didn’t come up with much. I wasn’t even sure I knew what they were suggesting, really.
“Either I’m still drunk or I’m just not getting it.” I said.
Asher sighed and took the reins. “Look, if you date him, I’m going to be a jealous, possessive bastard. If you date me, he’s going to have an inferiority complex—no offense dude—so clearly that won’t work. We’d both be waiting for you to finally pick one of us to take a hike, while praying it’s the other guy you send packing.”
“Okay, that makes sense in a what-not-to-do sort of way. But how does that help us?” I motioned to each of them, wanting to be clear that I was thinking of everybody equally.
“If we only date as a threesome then no one will feel left out.” Eli said.
A threesome? The logic made sense, but the heart’s not logical most of the time. For instance, my heart was thumping faster at the prospect of getting to keep them both, even though I knew reality was a far harsher bitch.
“In theory, yes. But that type of relationship might be more than either of you signed on for. You do realize that means we’d all have to date, go places and do things… we’d also have to sleep together, right?”
Asher shrugged, his way of saying it was no big deal. Eli’s face twitched, but he nodded. My throat tightened and my head swam again.
“I loved both of you already, but the fact that you’d even consider doing that for me makes me love you guys more. But… I’m worried that talking about it and doing it are two very different things. I don’t want to get my hopes up, just to have my heart broken tomorrow when one, or both of you, decides it’s too much effort.”
“Not going to happen.” Asher leaned forward and kissed my forehead.
“I don’t make promises that I’m not sure I can keep,” Eli said quietly. “But I can promise to try.”
To him I turned and spoke. “And I love you for that. I’ll agree to try it, but on one condition.”
Asher and Eli looked at me expectantly.
“If we’re going to give this a shot, we do it now. The plane will take off or it will crash into the runway. Either way, we’ll know.” I tried to smile, but my face stopped in a half grin, half frown.
The guys looked at each other for a beat, then back to me. “Okay,” they said.
“Uh, but first I need a shower. And coffee.” Shit, this was really happening. My head spun a bit and I blinked rapidly. It was my idea, sure, but I didn’t know how to actually go about it. I scooting to the edge of the bed to stand on wobbly legs.
“On it. Dark roast with hazelnut cream and a shit-ton of sugar?” Eli asked.
I smiled and nodded. He’d been paying attention. But so had Asher, and he was not about to be outdone.
“Okay, we’ll run down to the coffee house and get your coffee—and a chocolate scone—and give you time to wash last night off.” Asher slapped me on the ass as I stood, waved over my shoulder and shut myself in the bathroom.
7
Back to where we started this crazy story. Eli sucked my left nipple into his mouth. Delicate, slow pressure built as his tongue circled my nipple. Asher took my other nipple into his mouth. Quick, hard, and with just enough teeth that my body clenched down low. I tossed my head back and moaned, grabbing each of them by the hair and holding them tighter to me.
And then I heard that words that threatened to crush my heart.
“Wait, stop.” Eli’s gaze flickered from me to Asher. “I don’t think…”
I looked to Asher, who seemed carefully blank-faced until I figured out what to do. Lastly, I looked at Eli and did my best to offer him a patient, loving expression.
“I’m sorry,” he said, standing up and pacing the side of the room. He ran his hands though his mussed-up hair. “I don’t think I can do this.”
But at least he hadn’t run out of the room or pulled on any clothing. That had to be a good sign, I thought. “It’s okay. This is a big deal to all of us.” I said, looking to Asher for some help.
“Just sit down and spit it out. What’s the problem?” Asher said, not very helpfully, I might add.
“What he means is, talk us through it. What’s bothering you?” I held out my hand to Eli and he took it, stroking my palm with his thumb.
“Do you want me to make a list?” Eli said sharply, then shame washed over his face. “Sorry. I mean, it’s not one thing. It’s several.”
I nodded as if to say, okay, go on.
“This should be stating the obvious, but I’ve never shared anyone before. And I don’t know that I like it.” Eli said.
“If I’m being honest, I don’t want either of you to think about sharing me. That imp
lies I’m some sort of object that you can possess. It’s insulting.” I could practically hear Asher roll his eyes, so I continued. “Instead of you guys taking turns on the old gal, how about you look at this as a relationship between the three of us, equally.”
“But I’m not gay.” Eli said.
“No one said you were. You can care about someone without wanting to fuck them, can’t you?” I asked.
“Sure,” Eli looked past me, staring at the wall. His jaw muscles flexed and I tried to remember how hard this must be for him, a guy who crossed all “t’s” and liked every box to be ticked.
“Maybe what we need are ground rules? Eli, you’re more like me. Guidelines, reason, logic. You need those things to feel in control. Asher, you’re not at all like me or Eli, but I think that’s a good thing. You can remind us to ease up a bit. Live a little.”
Both of them nodded, so I continued, totally pulling ideas out of my ass.
“First, no jealousy or fighting over me. I’m not your plaything. To help with that, I think we should only be intimate together—all three of us, or not at all.”
“But I’m not gay.” Eli said, again. Stress must put him on autopilot, I thought.
“We heard you the first time.” Asher finally spoke. “Believe me, I’m not either. I’d think that is pretty obvious though, since we’re both giving this crazy relationship a shot—all for the love of one woman.”
“Thanks, I think?” I wasn’t sure whether I should be insulted or not.
I decided to ignore it and move on to the business end of things. “No one is asking either of you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. So ground rules… no touching, licking or anything else that could be construed as sexual contact, without some sort of permission. It goes without saying that rule mostly applies between the two of you—you know I’m good with anything.”
“Well, um. What do you mean by permission? And contact?” Eli asked, flicking a glance at Asher. It was so cute, the way he was really trying to turn the situation into something he could understand.
“Well, obviously, accidents are bound to happen. A lot of moving parts. Darkness. There could be some drive-by-touching. But if one of you is thinking about doing something that might make the other one uncomfortable, make sure it’s okay.”
Asher nodded and we both looked to Eli. He was silent, thinking, for several minutes before he finally spoke. “Okay, but can I ask for one thing?”
“Sure, ask away,” I squeezed Asher’s hand and he parroted my response.
“Instead of diving right in, can we just sleep together tonight? Like actual sleeping—I’d like to be a little more comfortable with a dick in bed with me.” Eli grinned then, the first of the evening.
“Hey!” Asher threw a pillow at Eli and we all chuckled.
“Sure, I’d like that.” I laid back in the bed and Asher joined me. “Get the lights, will you Eli?”
He went to turn the lights off while Asher made himself cozy beside me. I heard Eli stumble over something while making his way back to the bed and I resisted the urge to make a wisecrack. Asher didn’t resist.
“Bro, I hope you’re more coordinated in the sack.” He said.
Eli climbed in the bed on the other side of me and pulled up the covers. “I’ll try, Asher. Just know that if I elbow you in the junk it will be a total accident.”
After a bit more smack-talking, the guys grew quiet and I was able to settle into a contented position, on my side facing Asher. He lay on his side, facing me, and I draped my arm around him, skimming the swell of his perfect ass with my fingertips.
Eli lay snuggled up behind me with his arm wrapped over stomach and another of his body parts pressed into my hip. It was going to be a long night, I decided, drifting off to sleep with a swollen heart and an ache between my legs.
8
I woke to hands roaming all over my body. More specifically, two sets of hands that belonged to my two favorite men, brushing over the curves and angles of my flesh. It was a hell of a way to wake up, for sure.
When I’d fallen asleep hours earlier, things were fragile. We’d all agreed to give our weird relationship a shot, but we couldn’t quite figure out how to start going about it. In the end, we’d settled for a bit of cuddling and sleep, the three of us squeezed into Asher’s double-bed. But darkness and the proximity of naked bodies can overcome more hang-ups than you’d think.
Eli’s slender, but strong, fingers danced over my hip bone, waltzed over my stomach, and twirled a path up between my breasts. His touch was so light, so nimble, that he left a trail of goosebumps over my flesh in his wake. I resisted the urge to squirm or giggle; I didn’t want to break the mood with my ticklishness.
Asher’s meaty, rough hands clutched my breasts, my backside, my ribcage, while he nipped over the flesh on my shoulder with his teeth. His insatiable hunger made me feel like a woman about to be devoured, pooling warmth across my abdomen.
I made a move to reach for both of them, only to find each of my hands held down over my head. Eli and Asher were already working together, even if they didn’t realize it in the darkness. I groaned and bucked my body just a bit. Something about being held made me squirm, but in a good way.
Soft lips brushed against mine. Eli, so tender and loving. We traded breath and kissed some more. When he pulled back Asher took his place. His needy, hungry tongue claiming my mouth, while Eli turned his attentions lower, sweeping his fingers further down with each pass, until he reached the apex of my thighs.
Even with his tongue in my mouth, Asher sensed the catch in my breath and hooked his leg over one of mine, pulling it towards him, opening me up further for Eli. Yay, teamwork!
Within minutes, Eli had worked me into a shameless frenzy, with Asher playing the backup harmonies. I moaned and fought the restraint. “You guys, damn. You’re killing me,” I panted.
One of them chuckled, though I’m not sure which one. My hearing was fading in and out at that point. Little fireworks sparking in my vision, body tingling in all the right places.
Asher scooted up in the bed, so that his shoulders pressed against the headboard and he was in a half-sitting position. Once he settled, he pulled me on top of him, so that my back pressed up against his face and his cock jabbed into my thigh. He kissed my shoulder blade, scraping the tight flesh with his teeth. His hands clutched my breasts like I was his lifeline.
I could just barely make out Eli’s shadow as he took my legs into his hands. Eli moved closer, kneading my thighs as he approached, finally dragging one cool finger over my clit and finding me ready and so very wet. He slipped his erection over my core once, twice, and then slid into me with deliberate slowness. I writhed wanting more, noting Asher’s cock as it slipped around my backside.
Just when Eli finally seated himself fully inside of me, he pulled out and I whimpered. It was on the tip of my tongue to beg for him to return, but before I could speak Asher lifted me and pushed himself in, hard and fast. I cried out in surprise as my body tightened around the length of him. But then he too, was gone.
Eli came back, again with his slow, teasing entry. Then Asher, plunging into me with abandon. Slow, then hard. Tender, then savage. They took turns loving and fucking me and those turns brought me to a quivering, panting end.
“Fu…Fu…Fuck.” I cried, as my body went off like a roman candle. Asher, plunged into me once more with the power of a thousand bombs, exploding into warm jets as he came violently. He pulled out and Eli entered me one last time, milking my orgasm for everything it was worth.
Stroke, spasm. Stroke, quiver. Stroke, tightening. And just when I was beginning to think I could take no more, he pushed into me as far as he could go, his body went rigid and gooseflesh raised over his skin as he finished.
We collapsed into a sweaty, panting pile of limbs and flesh, so thoroughly fucked that blinking my eyes was a chore. I groaned and took Eli’s hand in mine, while rubbing the top of Asher’s head in slow circles.
“
I’m pretty sure I forgot to breathe there for a minute.” I said, my voice raspy.
“You, I’m pretty sure that I died and went to heaven about twenty minutes ago.” Eli said, kissing my shoulder.
Asher chuckled and I waited for him to say something smart-assed. But he didn’t. Instead, he cracked open my heart.
“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but if I wouldn’t mind going, so long as I can go out like that. Together.” His voice was low, barely above a whisper.
And then I knew. This—our crazy pretzel-like relationship—was going to work. We might have some things to figure out along the way, but we were all in it for the long haul. A lone tear slipped down my face, in the dark where no one could see it, and my heart smiled.
9
Three months later
I was frying bacon in my new kitchen when I felt someone come up behind me. Strong, wiry arms wrapped around my torso and Eli kissed my neck. I giggled and squirmed—he knew how sensitive my neck could be, but that didn’t stop him from making me writhe every chance he got.
“Mm, you smell amazing,” he said.
I laughed. “Sure that’s not the bacon you’re smelling?”
He pressed himself into me and I could feel that things were already awake and ready for some action. “Well, I do love bacon. But I’m pretty sure it’s never given me a stiffy before, so I think we can assume that’s all you, Sweets.”
I twisted the stove knob to “off” and slid the pan from the hot burner, then spun in Eli’s arms. I kissed him on his forehead, then on the tip of his nose, and finally our lips connected in a slow-burning moment. Eli swept my mouth with his tongue, probing. I may have moaned just a little.
“Good morning to you,” he groaned against my lips and slipped his hands up under my oversized t-shirt. He grabbed my ass and lifted me slightly. I stood on my tip-toes and brushed his lips again, toying with him.