“As much as I’ve fantasized about this counter since the other night, I’ve fantasized about your bed even more.” Leading her out of the kitchen, he headed up the stairs to the darkened second floor. Stopping outside her door, he looked at her one more time.
He didn’t say a word, but she understood what he was asking. Once they crossed this threshold, nothing would be the same. He was giving her one last chance to change her mind. Taking his hand, she led him into her bedroom.
Moonlight dappled the white comforter and filled the corners of the room. The moon was close to full and it spread its light unselfishly. Tory led him to the side of her bed, then paused, suddenly unsure of herself.
Leaning over her, Holt kissed her gently as he began to unbutton her blouse. In a moment, the soft material flowed apart and his hands stilled as he stared at her. The lacy bra she wore gleamed in the dim light, bright white against her shadowed skin.
She felt his hands shaking as he slid the blouse down her arms then unsnapped her bra. When she stood in front of him, naked from the waist up, he looked at her for what seemed like a long time then raised his eyes to hers.
“I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life.” His voice was husky with feeling. Looking down again, he reached out and cupped her breasts with his hands.
Sensation speared through her, and her breath caught in her throat. Moving blindly, she pressed closer to him, needing to feel his flesh against her own. Her hands fumbled with the buttons on his uniform. She suddenly desperately needed to get rid of the barrier.
Letting her go, he helped her push the buttons through their holes. When he finally dropped his shirt next to hers she drank in the sight of him.
He was lean and hard, his muscles sleek rather than bulky. They corded on his shoulders and his arms, rippling with fluid grace every time he moved. Tory reached out tentatively to touch the mat of dark hair on his chest. It was soft and silky, and she followed it as it thinned and arrowed down his flat belly, stopping where it disappeared beneath the waistband of his slacks.
Her fingers lingered at his waist as she looked at him. His eyes were closed and his face was rigid. As if he could feel her gaze on him, he opened his eyes and stared at her, his face taut with desire.
“It’s all right,” he said, his voice thick. “I want you to touch me.”
When she didn’t move, he took her hand in his and slowly slid it down until it covered the hard ridge of flesh that strained at the front of his slacks. Groaning deep in his throat, he shuddered as she curled her fingers around him. Then, suddenly, he pulled her hand away and reached out for her, fumbling with the fastening of her slacks.
It took only seconds for him to sweep the last of the barriers down her legs. Slacks and panties pooled on the floor in the moonlight, joined moments later by the rest of his uniform. Finally they stood facing each other, naked, and as she felt his eyes on her she allowed herself to drink in the sight of him.
His hips were narrow and his legs long and lean. His hard, corded muscles were dusted with the same dark hairs that covered his chest. She imagined those powerful legs twined around her, pulling her closer to him, and a heavy wave of desire flowed through her belly and legs like thick honey. Letting her gaze rise higher, heat flooded her as she stared for a moment at his rigid male flesh, straining upward. Finally she looked again at his face.
“I want you, Tory,” he whispered. “I want every bit of you.” Reaching out a shaking hand, he undid the braid in her hair and let its waves flow over his hands. Then suddenly he scooped her up in his arms and laid her on the bed.
His mouth was everywhere, teasing her lips and feathering over her face, then sliding down her neck so his tongue could dip into the hollow above her collarbone. His hands closed over her breasts again, his thumbs finding her nipples and pulling on them gently. He swallowed her cry of pleasure with his mouth, his tongue plunging into her with the rhythm of his hands caressing her breasts.
Her hands tightened on his back, and she kneaded his hard, tense muscles with her fingers. His skin was sleek as satin as her hands slid over it. She let her fingers caress his ribs and the ridges of his spine. When she reached lower, cupping her hand over his buttocks, she felt the trembling he didn’t even try to hide.
Raising his head from her mouth, he looked at her with glittering eyes for a moment before he slowly moved down her body. His thumbs flicked across her nipples one more time before his mouth took their place. Suckling gently on her, he curled his tongue first around one nipple, then the other as she writhed helplessly against him.
Every bit of sensation was centered in her core with a throbbing that demanded to be satisfied. Nothing had ever felt like this before. “Holt,” she gasped, her hands tightening on him as she tried to draw him closer.
He groaned once and thrust against her, all his muscles trembling. But instead of responding to her urging, he eased himself away from her. Smoothing one hand down her belly, he lingered just below her waist as she felt her skin jump and quiver with anticipation.
Flicking his tongue over her nipple again, he moved his hand lower and touched her at the same time. “Holt!” she cried as everything exploded around her. When he drew his hand through her hot slickness one more time, she felt herself trembling on the brink of convulsing around him.
In the next instant her control would disappear completely. The knowledge made her freeze, and slowly Holt pulled his hand away from her. “What’s wrong?” he asked as his fingers skimmed over her belly.
Forcing herself to relax, she smoothed her hand down his back and over his hip again. “Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t want to go anywhere alone.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” he murmured, catching her hand and bringing it to his hard, hot flesh. He reached down to touch her again. “I want to give you as much pleasure as you’re giving me.”
Arousal coiled tightly inside her at his touch, making her feel completely helpless in his hands, and she moved her hips away from his fingers. “I need you, Holt. I need you now.”
He hesitated, but when she stroked one finger down his silky length he groaned and slid between her legs. Slowly, he eased himself into her.
When he began to move, she clutched at his back as sensation spiraled upward and pulled her into him. Feeling herself winding tighter and tighter, she dug her nails into his back and felt herself moving with him.
“It’s all right, Tory,” he whispered. “Let go. Let it happen.”
“I...I don’t know if I can,” she answered as her body began to quiver.
“Yes, you can,” he murmured into her ear. The touch of his tongue on her earlobe made her shudder, and she felt herself losing control. Reaching between their bodies, Holt touched her one more time as he thrust into her, and she convulsed around him.
The world spun out of control as the shudders that racked her body seemed to go on and on. Holt’s arms wrapped around her, and he groaned her name as he surged into her again and again, each time sending her spinning higher and higher. They clung together, trembling, for what seemed like forever before her body slowly returned to earth.
Holt shifted to the side, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close, needing the touch of her body against his. Closing his eyes, he absorbed the tremors that periodically rippled through her body and felt her heart slowly quieting against his palm. Her floral fragrance drifted up to him, mixed with the musky, seductive scent of their lovemaking.
Something had happened when he had joined his body to hers, something he didn’t want to think about. The sweetness of her unselfish giving, even when it had become obvious that she was far less experienced than he’d imagined, had stirred something deep inside him. Tory had moved him in a way he hadn’t expected, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do about it.
Except not to think about it. He inhaled again, her fragrance drifting up to him from the dark red cloud of hair that swirled around them. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he fi
nally murmured.
“Tell you what?” Her voice was muffled against his chest, but he could hear the tension in her words.
“That you weren’t very...experienced.”
“I wasn’t a virgin.” She tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn’t let her go. Finally she gave up and lay still against him.
“You were frightened when I tried to give you pleasure.” He reached out and stroked her back, its silky softness making him ache for her again. He was afraid he would never be able to get enough of this woman.
Leaning away from him, she looked him in the eye. Her face was flushed as she said, “It was the first time we’d made love. I was nervous. Weren’t you?”
Reaching around, he cupped her breast again, feeling himself stir when she caught her breath. “At first I was. I got over it real fast, though.” As his thumb slowly circled her nipple, he watched her eyes darken and her breathing quicken. She might be nervous, and she might be startled by her response, but she couldn’t hide her desire from him. “Let’s see if you’ve gotten over it.”
He watched her as she reached up and pressed his hand to her breast. Blood surged through his veins and pooled in his groin, igniting a fire that only she could cool. Rolling her on top of him, he cupped both her breasts in his hands as he said, “This time you can be the one in control.”
In answer she leaned down to kiss him, her long, fragrant hair sweeping over his chest as she touched her tongue to his lips.
The moon shone directly through the window as Tory slept next to him. She’d fallen asleep almost immediately after they’d finished making love, curled around him in a completely trusting way. He knew he should go downstairs, away from the distraction of lying next to her, but he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her.
And that frightened him more than almost anything else would have. He’d warned her he could make no promises, and she’d said she didn’t expect any. But he found himself wanting to give her the words, to tell her he didn’t want to leave her. Thank God she was asleep and couldn’t tempt him to say things he knew he would regret in the sunlight.
Because he didn’t have the right to say anything to her. All his rights had died in that garage with Barb and their dog. To be truthful, they had died even before that, when he had turned his back on Barb and her agony. No, he had forfeited any rights he might have to claim a future with Tory. Never again would he be able to hurt a woman the way he had hurt his wife.
He shifted in the bed and turned to tuck Tory closer to him. She moved against him, her leg slipping between his as she turned in her sleep. He kissed her mouth, unable to resist
Her eyes drifted open, and she smiled at him. The warmth and caring he saw there were like a physical blow. “Go back to sleep, Tory.”
She smiled again and snuggled closer to him. Her face was bathed in moonlight, turning her pale skin to cream and highlighting the few tiny freckles that dusted her nose. Opening her eyes again, she looked over his shoulder at the full moon framed in the window.
“Look at the moon,” she whispered. “It’s so beautiful.”
He didn’t turn. Watching her face, seeing her expressive green eyes soften as she gazed out the window, he felt a searing pain in his chest. He couldn’t let this happen. He wouldn’t be able to bear it when Tory was eventually hurt.
“The side we can see is beautiful, but don’t let the beauty deceive you. There’s a dark side of the moon that nobody ever sees.”
She tore her gaze away from the window and looked at him. “How do you know the dark side isn’t equally beautiful?” she asked softly.
“It isn’t. Trust me, I know.”
“I don’t think you’re being fair to yourself, Holt.” She smiled at him again, then snuggled closer and closed her eyes. In another minute she was asleep.
He laid next to her, cradling her in his arms for the rest of the night, but he didn’t sleep. He thought about her words, about the trust that had looked at him from her eyes, and cursed himself until the moon sank in the sky and the gray light of dawn filtered into the window.
When Tory woke up the next morning she was alone in the bed. Rolling over, wincing at the slight stiffness of long-unused muscles, she raised up on one elbow and looked at the other side of the bed.
Holt had been there. It was no dream. The sheets and comforter were twisted and rumpled, and the pillow still bore the indentation of his head. Memories swept over her of the night before, of the passion they’d shared, and she felt the flush creep up her cheeks. Maybe he’d been as unsure of himself as she was this morning. Maybe he’d already left her house.
Holt wouldn’t have done that, she knew. He would stay until Teddy got here, and he would be back this evening, regardless of how he felt about what had happened last night. He wouldn’t let his personal feelings get in the way of his job.
She froze on the bed, poised to swing out of it. That was exactly what he’d told her last night, when he’d told her about his wife. He hadn’t let his personal feelings interfere with the job he had to do then, either.
Slowly she got out of bed, barely feeling the cold floor beneath her feet. Maybe she was wrong and he was right. Maybe there wasn’t anything left inside Holt except a passion for justice. And wouldn’t it be ironic if she’d fallen for a cop who was just as much a prisoner of his job as Ed Barber had been?
It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. She had seen too much inside Holt, too much pain and grief, too much caring for other people, to believe that he was nothing more than a man doing a job. His heart was still there. It was buried deep underneath a load of guilt and pain, but it was there. All she had to do was find it.
She threw on her clothes and hurried downstairs to find him drinking a cup of coffee and talking to Spike. He straightened abruptly when she walked into the kitchen, and suddenly, remembering the night before, she found herself tongue-tied, unable to say a word.
He solved the problem for her. Pulling her close, he kissed her hard, savoring her for a moment, then carefully set her away from him. “Good morning,” he said. His voice was level, but his eyes showed the need he tried to hide.
Her heart began beating again. Holding on to the look in his eyes, she answered brightly, “Good morning.” Glancing from him to Spike, she added mischievously, “What does Spike have to say for himself this morning?”
Scowling, he turned away to grab the bag of dog food from the counter. “He says he’s hungry. I was just going to feed him.”
“I guess I forgot about him last night, didn’t I?”
Holt’s eyes softened as he set the bag of dog food down. “I’d say we both did.” He reached for her, as if he couldn’t bear not to touch her. “I don’t think Spike minds at all.”
“Neither do I,” she whispered as Holt nuzzled her neck. He was sweeping her away again, pulling her beneath a rising tide of desire, but this time she barely noticed as the control slipped away from her. Lost in the sensations rippling through her, she leaned against him as he tangled his hands in her hair.
He stiffened and moved away two seconds before she heard the unmistakable sound of Teddy’s car pulling into the parking lot. “Teddy’s here,” he said unnecessarily.
She ran a shaking hand through her hair. “I guess I’d better get ready for work.”
“I need to go, too.” The regret that flared in his eyes made it easier to move away from him. She could feel his eyes on her as she searched for her shoes, kicked off sometime the night before and forgotten.
“We need to talk tonight, Tory.”
His words fell into the silence between them like stones into still water. She met his gaze and nodded. “Yes. I guess we do.”
He waited silently while she combed and braided her hair and applied a hint of color to her lips. Then he walked her out the door, making sure it was locked securely behind them.
“Do you want me to walk you over to the clinic?”
She shook her head. “You don’t have to. Teddy’s already
there, so I’m sure everything’s fine. See, he just turned on the lights in my office. Why don’t you go ahead? I’ll see you tonight.”
“All right.” His gaze searched her face, as if he could find the answers he needed there. “Tory...”
“What, Holt?”
Instead of answering, he pulled her to him for one last kiss. Passionate and deep, it answered one of her questions. He wouldn’t be back tonight just because his job demanded it.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
“I’m not sure that will hold me until then,” she whispered.
Pain flashed across his face. “God help me, neither am I.” Without another word he turned and got into his truck. Before she was halfway to the clinic, he had pulled out onto the highway and roared away.
She unlocked the clinic door and carefully locked it again after she entered. The lights in the reception area and her office shone brightly, but Teddy was nowhere in sight. He must have gone into the back to begin walking the dogs.
She barely had time to sling her jacket over a chair and slip on a lab coat before Teddy appeared in the door of her office. His face was as white as her coat, and his hands were shaking. His shocked eyes were huge and black.
“I think you better come in the back, Doc, right away.”
Chapter 12
Fear washed over Tory as she looked at the shaking young man in front of her. “What’s wrong, Teddy?” she asked, her voice filled with dread.
“Come and see.” He turned and headed to the kennel, and Tory rose to follow him, her heart thundering in her chest.
She smelled it as soon as she stepped through the door. Fear filled the air with a sour, acrid scent. Teddy walked to the end of the first row of cages, then stopped. “It’s back there.” He pointed to the corner of the kennel.
She was very sure she wouldn’t want to see whatever awaited her. Teddy looked at her as she passed him, his eyes wide and horror-struck in his pale face. Suddenly he bolted for the door, and as she listened to it swing on its hinges she noticed the unnatural quiet in the kennel room.
The Dark Side Of The Moon Page 17