by T. S. Simons
Luca and the children were out of sight, down the side of the shed, and I paused, juggling a tray laden with potatoes. Luca's strangled response, and the sound of girls giggling, made me freeze, wondering whether I should intervene. Out of diplomacy, and recognising he was the guest of honour, I decided against it. It was just as well Luca couldn't see my face. He would have lost it completely, but I made a mental note to taunt him when we were next alone.
Guests had started arriving around midday, wanting a good place to set up their swags for sleeping that night. We had spent days clearing out the vet shed, the bike storage, and the hay shed, and by late afternoon the bedrolls, blankets and sleeping bags were lined up like a refuge centre after a bushfire. Despite Cam's initial belief that people would want to go home, everyone was here and intending to stay. All the original residents had come, plus the extras like Illy, Cam, Sorcha, Di, and me. Most had paired up and had children, more than doubling the original settlement. Guests had taken over every spare inch of floor space in our house, Illy's, Sorcha's, Isla's and Jacinda's. Even Jorja and Bridget, at the head of the valley, had agreed to accommodate ten guests in their small home. But no one minded. While we had held Christmas Eve gatherings at Garynahine, we had never had a full-community celebration like this before. Not an all-night affair with feasting and dancing.
The musically inclined residents set up a small, cleared area behind the tables and took turns playing the guitar, violin, or singing. Toby brought his bagpipes. The noise hung in a low thrum, making it hard to hold a conversation without shouting. The atmosphere got louder and more out of hand as the night progressed, aided by the free-flowing beer, wine and spirits that had been procured on a recent trip to the mainland. Hamish and Luca proudly cracked open a barrel of one of Hamish's original vintages of whisky, now well cellared and ready to drink. Luca had taken over distilling upon his return here, but Hamish had never entirely relinquished his original role, much to the chagrin of the medical team.
Crowds gathered in various locations. Many seated on chairs around the hangi, enjoying the warmth and glow of the stones. For most, it was the closest thing to an open fire they had experienced in over a decade. Others sat in small groups, further away from the noise of the musicians, trying to catch up on news and socialising. Couples lying on blankets under the trees, enjoying the atmosphere and a day away from chores and work. Everyone had come, and no one had anything to do except enjoy.
The hangi was the pièce de résistance. An audible "ahh" rose from the crowd as everyone watching was awed by the full roasts of beef, lamb and pork being raised from the pit. Several large fish, too. The glow of the embers illuminated the expression of longing in many faces. Trays of roasted vegetables had been roasted in a separate pit, in deference to the few vegetarians here. Juliette unwrapped trays of fresh bread, the fabulous smell mingling with the aroma of roasting meats. She must have been baking all day. Cam and Jamie had placed large bowls of mixed salads on the serving tables, which I suspected Luca would fastidiously avoid, despite Illy's best efforts to coax him to try something green.
After the carving, punctuated with cheers from the crowd, Cam came to find me, and we lined up together amidst the laughter and merriment. The line was long and slow, but it enabled us to speak leisurely to people we rarely saw. Everyone appeared happy, grateful for the opportunity to get together, even if just for one night. Cam's glass was filled several times as we waited in line, I noted, trying not to giggle. Cam was so caught up in conversation, straining over the noise of chatter and music that he barely noticed, sipping as he chatted. By the time we reached the platters with our empty plates, Cam was decidedly less steady on his feet.
'I'm sch-tarving!' he pronounced.
'You're drunk!' I responded, nudging him with my elbow. 'Just as well you aren't in charge of the pit anymore! You'd fall in!'
'No, I'm not,' he slurred as he tried to pick up a roast potato with the tongs and missed. He furrowed his brow. 'Slippery little buggers.'
Plucking the tongs from him, I deftly loaded up both plates and steered him away. At least I had worked out why the queue had taken so long. More than one person appeared to be having difficulty with the serving utensils.
Hearing Cam sloshing the drinks behind me as I juggled plates, I scoped out some seats in a quiet spot a little further away from the main group where we could talk without needing to yell. Illy waved at me, and I took our plates over to join them, dropping them off and returning for the chairs. I tried not to make eye contact with Luca. I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face if I asked him about why my youngest was asking about the consensual tying up of people. But Luca took one look at Cam's plate, lifted Illy to her feet and dragged her off to join the long queue at the table.
'Mind our seats, will you?' Illy called as he swept her off her feet down the path.
Cam tucked into his meal with gusto, and I watched him, eating my own, trying not to grin. As he finished, he looked up and caught my eye.
'What?'
'Hungry, are we?'
'Starving. I've not eaten since breakfast. And that was coffee and an apple.'
'Come to think of it, I don't think I have either. I've barely seen you in days.'
'Goodness. Between digging and checking on the pits, collecting and heating rocks, clearing out sheds, setting up bedding, ferrying chairs and tables, collecting the food and drinks, borrowing cups and furniture from every house on Lewis, I'm shattered.'
'Completely shattered?' I asked coyly, emptying my glass of wine and the slight sense of wooziness enveloping me. Perhaps I had drunk my fair share too.
Removing my nearly empty plate from my hand, Cam placed them on the ground and took my hand, pulling me to my feet. Disappearing around the side of Sorcha's house, he found a dark spot between the window and the door and pushed me up against it, kissing me insistently. Hearing the chatter and laughter very close by, I pulled free.
'Here? Now? Someone will see us!'
'No, they won't. Did you not notice that all the parents have disappeared into dark nooks and crannies? Every quiet space is taken. I suspect we may be responsible for a surge in the population in nine months.' The kissing resumed as his hands roamed lower. Wearing the only skirt I owned offered no resistance to a determined man on a mission.
'Do you not want to go home?'
'There are fifteen bloody guests in our home. How private do you think that will be?' he hissed in my ear.
Lifting my skirt and pulling my panties aside, he found his target, and I gasped as he speared me like a fish against the wall. With nowhere to go, my back slammed against the mud-brick, unable to concentrate on anything else. I threw my arms around his neck as I felt the hardness of him consume me. My toes curled, and knees buckled as the tension tightened my legs, suddenly unable to stand.
'Shh!' he whispered, covering my mouth with his own. 'Someone will hear you.'
Not caring in the slightest about my tender back, I rolled my head back and felt the wave of pleasure rush through me. His weight pressed against me, he shuddered, then convulsed as he held me against him.
'God, I love you,' he murmured.
'I love it when you are drunk,' I whispered as I nibbled his earlobe. Cam so rarely drank to excess. He didn't like relinquishing control, and drinking often fed his anxiety. But when he did… sometimes it made for an interesting evening. Staggering away, we found a patch of grass under a tree, and lay in each other's arms.
'You couldn't have found this spot first?' I teased gently, stroking his chest. 'I'll have bruises for days.'
Sweeping the hair off my face, he gazed into my eyes. 'No, I couldn't. I needed you, that second, or I would die.' The world dissolved as he cupped my face between his hands and kissed me. Everything except his eyes faded to black, and I lost track of everything and everyone.
'I still remember our first kiss in the grotto on August,' I murmured as he ran his hands over the slopes and curves of my hip
s and waist.
'So do I. After you finished trying to drown me.'
'I wasn't trying to drown you. I wanted you to jump me. Almost drowning you was just a bonus.'
'A bonus!' He tickled me behind my thighs, knowing I was immensely ticklish there. Squirming and laughing, he gathered me in as I convulsed.
'That first night in the springs, making love on that rocky ledge, I thought I would burst. I was so filled with desire for you.'
'So was I,' I confessed. 'In that moment, I knew you were the one.' Curling up with my head on his chest, I admitted, 'I only took you there because I was lonely. But I left there that night feeling something so powerful. You stirred in me feelings I hadn't felt in a long time.
'What?'
'Safe.'
His arms tightened as I spoke again.
'I came very close to running away from you. Telling you we had made a mistake and kicking you out. Banning you from my special place.'
'Why didn't you?'
'Honestly? Because we ended up on the far side of the pool, naked. I would have needed to swim back across, dry off again, and get dressed.'
'Why was that a problem?'
'Because my resolve to kick you out wouldn't have lasted that long. You were lucky we didn't end up on the cavern side, or I likely would have. Had we been at your place or mine, I almost certainly would have kicked you out of bed. But kicking you out of the cavern, naked? You might have been seen, and then my secret place would be mine no longer.'
'I still don't get it. Why would you have kicked me out?'
'Because it was strange and overwhelming to someone so used to being independent. I was scared if I let you, you would hurt me.'
'I will never hurt you. Not deliberately.'
Laying in his arms under the coolness of the tree, I could just see the stars twinkling beyond the dome. I wondered how differently my life could have turned out if the pandemic had never spread. Would I have made a life in Melbourne or somewhere else? Would I have met someone, eventually? Been happy? Or would I have continued sleepwalking through my life, insulated from others?
'Honey, you can't fall asleep here.' The gentle shaking of my shoulder roused me.
'Hmmm?'
'Frey! We can't fall asleep here. People will wonder where we are. Come looking for us.'
'So… tired,' I groaned, fighting to force my eyes open.
'Me too.'
'Why can't I sleep?' I muttered, somewhat annoyed at being woken. 'You said everyone was sneaking off. What difference does it make?'
Cam gently lifted me from my lying position. 'There is suspicion, and then there is removing all doubt.' Kissing me, my arms snaked around his neck as I tried to get my seated balance, still half asleep.
'Come on. Let's do one round, get the kids to bed and get to our own. We have served up the meal, and everyone has seen us at least once. The party is likely to go on most of the night. No one will notice if we head home. Besides, we are cooking breakfast, remember?'
Grumbling slightly, I recognised this as a good plan. We may as well go to bed early. We would be woken throughout the night with guests arriving, stumbling over things, and clattering around our home. Then again, we were here to thank people for helping us. Perhaps it was a little rude to disappear mid-event.
Slowly we rose, cleaning leaf litter and grass from our clothing. My hair felt like a bird's nest with dirt, leaves and grass caked through it. As I ran my fingers through it, I felt Cam freeze in the dark beside me.
'Mumma? Dadda? Why are you on the ground?' Xanthe's shrill voice pierced the night.
'Just taking a rest, sweetheart,' he assured her in a low, calm voice, stepping forward to block me as my face flamed. Thank goodness she couldn't see me rearranging my underwear.
'It was getting very loud. We just wanted to talk. But now it is your bedtime. Where are your brothers and sister?'
'Thorsten is with Louis and Sam. Kat is with Kendra,' she wailed. 'They left me, and I couldn't find you.'
'Well, you found us now,' I soothed, stepping out of the shadows. 'Come on, then. Let's find everyone and get you all off to bed.'
'Already?' The whining took precisely two seconds.
'Yes. It is well past your bedtime already, so don't start.'
It took over an hour to make our way around the main group, thanking people for coming, for their friendship, for their donation to the immense feast. Locating each child as we made our rounds, we sent them off home amidst much grumbling. I noticed the desserts dwindling rapidly and badly wanted to sample some. But Cam didn't let go of my hand as we spoke to friends, neighbours, family. Luca and Illy had disappeared, the four chairs sitting silently in the dark. Finally, the end was in sight. Our front door propped open, people streaming in and out. Slipping in, we greeted several friends staying over, checking on each of the children. Thorsten was asleep, out cold on a mattress on the floor of Louis' room. Creeping around him, we could see that Louis was awake, fighting sleep, but alert enough to wish us both goodnight.
'Love you, mum. Love you, dad,' he murmured as he snuggled under his blankets to block the raucous noise from outside the house and the clattering from within.
'Sleep well.' I kissed his exposed forehead. Kat and Xanthe looked angelic in the next room, snuggled up together in Kat's bed, Thorsten's and Xanthe's spaces filled with guests. Neither stirred as we entered, but we kissed them both.
'We are so blessed.' Cam closed the solid door to our room, and I watched as he rolled up our jackets to block the noise drifting in from underneath.
I sank onto the bed, unable to remove my shoes. I sat and looked at them, willing them to fall off my feet. Cam, seeing my exhaustion, grinned, barely visible in the dark. Within seconds he had me naked and under the covers, slipping in himself.
'Why blessed?' I asked belatedly. 'Many people would say that we have been dealt a crappy hand in life. Pandemic kills our parents and destroys our world. We are whisked away to a place with limited resources, and we work ridiculously hard just to survive.'
'Because we are surrounded by people who care about us. Don't you think that is the meaning of life? To be happy. To recognise how blessed you are to have what you do and not constantly be lusting after things you can't have?'
'What have you lusted after?' I yawned, closing my eyes as the pillow engulfed my head like a soft fluffy cloud.
'In my life, many things. Cars, objects, experiences. But now… only you.'
Too tired to respond, I drifted off as the hands, warm on my thighs, keeping me safe.
Katrin called out to me as I walked the final leg back to Roseglen, and I slowed, waiting for her to catch up.
'School finished?'
'Yup.'
With the continual population explosion, the school down the valley had been expanded several times, with children from all nearby crofts and small settlements attending each day. A decent walk from our home, but the children didn't seem to mind. The morning and afternoon chattering could be heard from some distance.
'Where are the others?'
'Left.'
'Oh. Why are you late?'
Kat's manner was that of an early teen, either monosyllabic or using her cutting tongue, much like me at the same age. Regularly required to stay behind after school and help clean up as a consequence for back chatting or insulting someone, usually in a very colourful way. Many a night Cam and I had laughed hysterically in the privacy of our room, hearing of her creative and descriptive insults, usually very apt. Kat just rolled her eyes and said nothing. It didn't matter. I would hear from Bridget when I saw her next.
'Mum, what did you want to be when you grew up? When you were my age, I mean.'
I paused before responding. Not that I didn't have an answer. I did. Many of them. But how did I explain to a nine-year-old that life in Australia, then, had been so very different to life here, without it appearing like I was gloating? Frivolous things like movi
e stars, singers, ballerinas and models. Like all girls, I had been through a phase enamoured of celebrities, social idols, although mine had been geared more towards sporting champions. Even that concept I could never explain to her. She watched me curiously. Realising I needed to give her an answer, I gave her a variation of the truth.
'I had a lot more choice back in Melbourne,' I admitted. 'I admit to being fortunate. I attended excellent schools and had the opportunity to be anything I wanted.'
'Why did you choose to work with animals?'
Laughing as we walked, I explained I had been good at maths and science, but for a long time I didn't like people very much. 'Animals don't complain.'
Kat nodded sagely. 'Sometimes, I think Auntie Sorcha doesn't like people very much.'
I chuckled at her intuition. 'I can't say you are wrong, although please don't say that out loud for goodness' sake. She is an exceptionally good doctor. She has saved your life, mine, and your father's.'
'She saved my life?'
'The night you were born. The birth wasn't straightforward, and she saved both of us. I will always be grateful to her for that.' Especially as she blamed me for having a baby with her brother, remaining the unspoken part of that sentence. But many years had passed, and Sorcha and I had an excellent relationship. Had it not been that Cam was her brother, and Illy and I were close, I suspected we would be even closer. Sorcha and I were very similar. For the millionth time, I wished I had met Cam's parents. I had gleaned enough that his mother was fiery and quick-witted, much like Sorcha, with a highly attuned bullshit meter and absolutely no tolerance for time-wasting. His father he spoke less of, but I gathered had been more like Cam. Quiet, loyal, and always there to support those in need.
I drew my attention back to Kat. 'So, what do you want to be, Missy Moo?'
Kat scowled, hating it when I called her that. 'We talked about it at school today, with Miss Bridget. Different jobs and how we could help others.'