by T. S. Simons
I raised an eyebrow.
'I had a partner for a time. He was military too. Older than me. But he liked to play. Tying me up, handcuffs, using a riding crop. You know, games.'
I froze. 'Really? You?' I never thought Illy would be the bondage type.
'It was exciting, at first. Thrilling. But after a while, I realised it was all about power. Control. And he always wanted it. He didn't see me as his equal. It wasn't the lifestyle I had an issue with. It was him. This wasn't a man I could have children with, feel like he was my true partner. I guess I never felt that there was explicit trust. I never felt that until I met Luca. I trusted him implicitly.'
I was dying to ask her about the bondage, especially after Luca's overheard comment at the harvest festival, but realised it wasn't great timing. But in typical Illy fashion, she sensed my question.
'It isn't supposed to be about power, but in truth, it is. Have you never felt that?'
I considered that. 'Not really. I must admit that I feared relationships before Cam. I usually left before sunrise.'
'That is just a different way of maintaining control. Not letting them in.'
'After my sister… I couldn't. I was hollow but also refused to trust anyone in case they hurt me again.'
'Why did you pick Cam?'
I laughed. 'Well, it had been a year, and I was lonely. Desperate for company. I was only twenty-three. But he exposed his soul to me. Told me about his anxiety and his Asperger's. I had watched him for months and knew he didn't gossip. He had ethics. I figured that if it didn't work out with him, then at least he would be discrete and wouldn't tell anyone. Truthfully, when I took him to the grotto for the first time, I was kind of looking for a friend with benefits. He was kind, respectful, and had an amazing body. Then…'
'Then what?'
'Well, I kissed him. He would never have made the first move. Here we are, naked, in the prime of our lives, and he is floating and enjoying the springs.'
Illy snorted as she sipped her coffee. 'Really?'
'Truly. I'd stripped off and plunged into the water to give him the hint. He followed. But there he is, just enjoying the water. Floating blissfully with his eyes closed. I kept waiting for him to take the hint. He didn't. I admit to being a little frustrated. I teased him, pushed him just a little, and there was this shift in him—a powerful one. Cam is so nurturing and gentle. But that night, he took control. He took possession of me in a way I have never felt before… I still remember that first night. But it was equal if that makes sense. He is larger than me, stronger. But that strength has always been held in check. He wanted me, but he respected me. He has never hurt me or used his size against me.'
Illy sighed. 'That sounds so much like Luca. He is huge, was huge. Formidable and several times my size. But I always knew he respected me. There is something quite special about knowing that you are an equal. I hope my girls get to feel that way one day.'
'Well, I had to kiss some toads before I met Cam.'
'Oh, likewise. The possessive ones, the jealous ones. Those that wanted a plaything. Thought they could control me as I am smaller. But it is the sense of loyalty and partnership I will miss.'
'I know it is too early to ask, but do you think you will meet someone else?'
'No. I have had my great love. I have my girls. That is enough.'
'I understand. After that short time with Cam, I always knew that it would be unfair to be with anyone else. It would be settling for second best. I had plenty of opportunities. I visited many places and met many people. But none of them came close to him.'
'Even though he married someone else?'
'I never really let go.'
'I don't think I ever will either.'
Arriving at Inverness mid-morning, we docked the Eurydice and refuelled as we discussed our next steps. There were vessels here, but no sign of the Selkie.
'What do you want to do?' Illy's dark sunken eyes and pallid complexion made her look nothing like my vibrant friend.
'We are here. We should visit Clava anyway, just to see if they can tell us anything. Nate could have dropped them there.'
'Let's ride. We can get there faster and be on our way to Edinburgh sooner if he isn't there.'
We approached apprehensively, fearful that we may not be made welcome. We had, after all, deactivated our portal and set up an arsenal of weapons capable of taking out a small country. A drone buzzing over our heads announced their rather irritating awareness of our arrival.
'No chance of being inconspicuous,' Illy muttered.
People stopped to watch us as we walked up the main street towards the headquarters. It had been years since I had visited here, just once. But Illy had lived here, then later returned with Di. She knew the place and the people well. She may be given a more welcome reception.
Derek strode purposefully down the steps to meet us. He didn't even try to hide his leadership role this time as he stopped before us, a fraction closer than necessary.
'We wondered when you would turn up.'
'Angus MacLeod kidnapped my son, killed her husband. Possibly mine too.' The inflection of anger was clear, even by a clod like Derek.
Illy placed a calming hand on me and turned to face him. 'Can we talk, please? Perhaps somewhere more private.'
He gestured with an economic movement of his head to follow him inside. Once inside, he flourished an arm towards the large meeting room on the left. Large windows spanned floor to ceiling. The room was floodlit with natural light, the spectacular scenery, shades of green visible in the distance. The view toward the cairns, I thought, remembering my visit there. Not wanting to lose focus, I drew my attention back to the room. I had met with Ashton several times in this room and been served delicious meals. It hadn't changed. A large boardroom style space with a large oval table and black executive style leather chairs. A large screen at the end, hanging silently on the wall. The windows reflected in the black glass of the screen.
Derek poured us each a glass from the jug of water on the table. I paused, and he watched me, reading my wariness. He took a healthy swallow of his, and after a glance at Illy, I did likewise.
'We don't have your stepson.'
'He is my son,' I corrected, 'and if you don't have him, I would like to know where he is.'
Derek shrugged. 'We don't know. Angus left us some months ago after some… philosophical disagreements, I guess you could say.'
Just as I pondered my next question, Illy spoke. 'Have you been keeping tabs on his movements?' Illy's question was so direct even Derek sat more upright. 'Monitoring him?'
'No…' he stammered, mildly intimidated. 'Why would we do that?'
Both Illy and I looked at him in disbelief.
'Oh, come on. You have all of this equipment at your disposal, and yet you didn't watch where he went?'
Derek's face went through a remarkable series of colours as Illy noted, 'Well, you know enough as you were expecting us.'
Derek raised a hand, almost like a child answering a question in class, and an audible click sounded behind me, making me turn in alarm. Illy was at the locked door in a shot. Looking back, I saw Derek reaching under the table, placing a gas mask over his face and smiling nastily as an opaque gas canister dropped from a vent that had opened in the ceiling and started filling the room with a foul-smelling grey gas. Derek backed up as Illy and I struggled to move towards him, lifting our tops over our faces to avoid inhalation. The last thing I saw as the world went dark was Derek's grinning face, sneering at me.
The hard, cold steel imprinted into my back woke me a fraction of a second before the sensation of my arms and legs being restrained registered in my foggy brain.
'Why do people insist on tying me up and keeping me captive?' I muttered.
The sound of Illy groaning somewhere to my right made me crack an eye open, through the dim light, to see her in a similar predicament. Splayed on a sterile hospital bed, with a thin mattres
s covered in a crisp white sheet, her arms restrained with locked cuffs to the gleaming silver bars at her sides. Her feet shackled to the bar at the end, which had been shortened to accommodate her diminutive height. Even a glance at the secure restraints confirmed they weren't amateurs.
'It is my first time,' she replied. 'Can't say I am enjoying it.'
'Oh, you will.' A greasy voice leered from across the room as he entered my line of sight. 'You rejected me once, bitch. Won't be complaining this time, or I'll gag you.'
'Can't say I blame you,' I said as an aside to Illy. 'I'd reject him too if this is how he needs to get women.'
He slipped his rail-thin and oily form between the beds and smacked me hard across the cheek, making it sting. 'As for you, you stuck up cow, you didn't even lower yourself to greet me when you were here last time.'
I screwed up my nose, trying to remember. Had we met? He saw the look and correctly interpreted the silence, mocking me.
'Oh, that's right. Too busy fucking your own man to notice me. We all watched. Where is he now?'
I fought against the restraints as he chuckled. 'Not a chance, princess. You do what I say. Maybe you want to go first.' He ran his hand up the inside of the crisp white hospital gown, and I cringed, desperately trying to move away from him. The restraints were firm, and I couldn't move more than a few centimetres. He continued to cackle cruelly, stroking my smooth inner thighs with his scaly hands.
'What do you want with me, you impotent fucknuckle?' Anger was boiling over now, but it just seemed to rouse him more.
'Anything I want,' he sneered. 'You are mine. Both of you. Any time I want it, I will give it to you.'
'This is the only way you can get a woman to be near you, isn't it?' I taunted. 'Such a man. Your parents must be so proud.'
He slapped me again, harder this time. It stung, but I refused to react.
'Dale,' Illy tried to diffuse the situation. 'I didn't reject you. I just wasn't ready for a relationship. It had nothing to do with you.'
Dale snapped around and punched Illy in the stomach, making her cry out. 'Bullshit! You thought you were better than me, you filthy whore. Thought you were so intelligent, so high and mighty. Walked around like you had a stick rammed up your arse. Well, I'll shove something else up there for you. You might like it more. I heard you settled for that grunt. I'm sure he likes it that way.'
Illy's eyelids lowered at the mention of Luca and squirmed as Dale's hands roved up her gown. Like me, she was bound tightly and had limited space to move. Dale rammed his hand firmly into her, and she grunted.
'Luca was twice the man you will ever be,' she roared, making him recoil slightly. 'At least he was man enough never to force himself on anyone. He didn't need to.'
Lights flicked on violently, making my eyes water. The double doors opened, and a woman wearing a white medical coat walked in. Dale removed his hand discretely, wiping it on his pants, and slipped away from the beds.
'Kalyan?' The relief in Illy's voice was palpable as she saw the woman's face. 'Kal! It is so good to see you. There has been a mistake. I would like to speak to Ashton. Can you tell him we are here?'
'Oh, he knows.' The calm response made my stomach lurch more than the words spoken. 'He will drop in at some point to question you.'
'He knows? That you are keeping us captive?' Illy's tone reflected her shock.
'It isn't like that.'
'Well, what is it like?' My eyes bored into her. 'If this is how you treat guests…'
'What did you expect us to do? You blew up the lab on Auckland and destroyed half our mapped genomes. That set our work back a long way.'
'Your work?' Illy echoed. 'Kal, we were neighbours. Friends. You know this isn't right.'
'I have no choice, Illyria. We need to replace some of the genomes you destroyed.'
'How did you know it was us?'
'Cameras. I'd recognise you anywhere, Illyria. You destroyed more than a decade's research that night. We need to get back on track.'
'So you are starting with us?' I could barely believe what I was hearing.
She moved the loosely untied gown from my upper arm, turning it upwards, as I thrashed to avoid her grip. The restraints were firm, and I had a limited range of motion. As she drew blood from my outstretched arm, she stared at the cross-hatching of scars on my forearms for a fraction of a second too long, then looked away, pretending to be engrossed in the syringe filling.
'I'll tell you about them if you let me go.'
Kalyan ignored me.
'What is that for?' She had already filled the third vial, all capped with different colours.
'Just checking where you are in your cycle. So we can start the process.'
As she lay the filled vials on the silver tray, I watched in horror as she repeated the extraction on my friend.
'What process?' I swallowed the bile. I needed to hear her say it. Surely not. On conscious patients?
'We need to replace the eggs you destroyed. It is important all the genetic sequences are replicated.'
'But I have children. My DNA is in them, isn't it?'
'Yes, but we need to fertilise the eggs with different sperm to diversify the gene pool.'
'Eggs?' I caught the plural and thought I would vomit. 'Is that what you did with…' I trailed off, unable to say her name.
'It was much easier,' she soothed. 'She didn't know. I lived there. She was treated very well, I assure you.'
Silence filled the artificially lit room as she continued the battery of tests, my jaw clamped shut. As soon as the door closed, the dam burst.
'I'm so sorry, Ils. This is all my fault. I never meant for this to happen. This… clusterfuck. Dale. This…' I tried to raise my arms, resulting only in a light clang. 'I am so sorry.'
She turned her head and looked at me for a long time before speaking in a low, rumbling voice unlike Illy's. 'I chose to come. That murdering fucktard waste of oxygen killed the love of my life. I won't rest until he pays for what he has done, and we bring Louis home.'
'What is it then?'
'I lived here.' Her voice dropped even lower. 'I worked with these people. Was my judgement so wrong? Were they all just waiting to keep me captive and raid my body? Rape me?'
'This is my fault.' I grimaced. 'We travelled to Auckland for my sister. We are here because of my son. You came because of me.'
'No. It isn't. Angus would have killed Luca that day, regardless. It was my choice, and nothing that slimy lowlife can do to me will ever change our friendship Freyja.'
Illy changed the subject, for which I was grateful. Ever the optimist, she chatted about what our friends would be doing on Lewis. Spring planting. Animals being born. Guilt for leaving all the work for Isla struck me. Illy sensed it.
'This isn't your fault.' Her tone was resolute. 'We will get home, Frey. We will.'
Smiling wanly, I closed my eyes in the large windowless room and let sleep overtake me.
The sharp jab of a syringe jolted me from my dreams.
'Oww! What was that for?'
'You will get one of those daily until we can retrieve.' Kalyan wiped the drop of blood from the injection site and capped the syringe.
'Harvest me, you mean? Treat me like a prized cow?'
'Well, we know you are fertile. You have what, two children?'
'Three,' I seethed at the mention of my family.
'Ah, our intel must be a little out of date. Three is even better.' She tapped away on a tablet.
'Are they healthy? Full-term gestation?'
'Wouldn't you like to know?' I growled. I would not assist these people, especially by giving away information about my children.
Illy looked kindly at Kalyan as she finished with me, and then at the woman drawing her blood. 'Kalyan. Ngaire. Why are you doing this?'
Ngaire at least had the decency to turn away. Kal responded coldly. 'We told you. We need to replace the material you destroyed
.'
'Then what? You will let us go?'
She looked uncomfortable at that, but feeling Illy's stare, finally mumbled, 'That is beyond my clearance level.'
Illy looked over to Ngaire. 'Ny. Please. Don't do this.'
Ngaire continued to ignore her, but her face flushed, unable to make eye contact.
Illy tried again. 'Kal, please. You are a good person. We have known each other for years. I cared for your babies so you and Jaldeep could have date nights. I don't deserve this. Neither does she. Freyja was just trying to save her sister. Her family. Wouldn't we all do that for our own flesh and blood? We are only here to find her child. He is only ten. Angus MacLeod kidnapped him, and all we want is to take him home. I have two girls, twins. Angus killed their father, so I am all they have left. If you keep me prisoner here, who will raise my children? Do you want to be responsible for that? Leaving two orphaned seven-year-old girls? You have daughters. Is this how you would want your daughters raised? Would you want them treated like this?'
Kalyan looked away, refusing to make eye contact. Saying nothing, she finished up and left as quickly as she could, Ngaire shuffling in her wake.
Illy looked away, but I could see the distress.
'We are being monitored, aren't we?' I whispered.
'We are. No one will do anything to help us. We are trapped.'
'Fuck.' I couldn't contain the sickening sense of disappointment.
'Promise me something, Frey,' her voice so low I needed to strain to make out the words.
'What?'
'Promise me you will never stop fighting. If they break you, they will have you forever. We will get home. We need to believe in that. We will hold our children again. One day, they will lapse… just for a second… and we will find a way home. Never give up hope. Be strong. Never stop fighting. Where there is still a tiny spark within you, they don't have you. Don't ever let them win.'
Flashbacks of being restrained in that filthy shed near Inverness filled my mind, Joey licking my cheek and molesting me. This was so much worse. We knew these people. These were no bumbling buffoons. These people intended to use us as lab rats, just like my sister.