by T. S. Simons
'You raised a good man,' I whispered to Laetitia's ever-lurking ghost. 'He is such a gentleman.'
Illy had dropped me off at Sorcha's while she escorted Louis and Ceri to our home, before heading to Bridget's to collect her girls. Sorcha and Di were awake, but I had woken Thorsten, Xanthe and Kat upon arrival, not being able to bear going to bed and not seeing them. They had staggered bleary-eyed out of their rooms, ecstatic, throwing themselves at me, chattering over each other to tell me their news and ask about Louis. The looks of suspicion indicated that Illy had been right, and they were less than pleased to hear we had brought home a new sibling. Asking a dozen questions, I waved them off, promising they could meet her in the morning. After a brief but tear-filled reunion, I asked them to stay at Sorcha's for one more night. Thorsten and Xan cried, wanting to come home. But I pleaded with them, for Louis, for this one night.
'How is he?' I asked Sorcha quietly after Di had shooed the reluctant children back to their rooms.
'He has a long road ahead,' she said, switching to doctor mode. 'He will survive the wound. We needed to remove his spleen and patch up several other organs. He is at greater risk of infection now, and he is in pain much of the time. But he will live.'
'Thank you,' I said fervently. 'I can't tell you what that means to me.'
'Angus?'
'He will never bother us again,' I said with finality.
Sorcha nodded in satisfaction, recognising a long story here, but now was not the time.
'Good.'
Sometime deep in the night, Cam cried out in pain, and I sat bolt upright in the darkness, unfamiliar with sharing a bed.
'Honey? Are you okay?'
'Frey?' he whispered hoarsely.
'It's me. I'm home.'
He gasped as alertness took hold.
'Louis?'
'He is here too. He is well. Asleep. You can see him in the morning.'
I felt the enormous sigh draining from him as the months of stress dissolved.
'Thank you. My love, thank you.' He forced the words out, emotion strangling him.
I was about to tell him to go back to sleep when he gathered me in his arms and kissed me so thoroughly I almost forgot he was injured.
'Oh, how I have missed you,' he murmured as his hands ran up my back and nuzzled my neck. 'When did you get back? Why didn't you wake me?'
'Sorcha said you were in pain and need rest.'
'Hmph. What would Sorcha know? She just keeps me drugged up and compliant.'
'Pain relief, I think you call that,' I teased as I kissed his chest. 'I have so much to tell you.'
'Tell me.'
Lying with my head on his chest, I summarised the past two months. Nate, Angus, and Louis. Illy's revenge and finally about Ceridwen.
'They did that to your sister? A brain-dead woman?'
'They did. Angus did. He and I were a breeding pair allegedly, and because I refused, they used her. This little girl is Kat's daughter. With Angus. A distant relative of Louis, but she is also a full sibling to Scarlett and Ruby.'
'Fuck. Do Jorja and Bridget know?'
'Likely. Illy went straight there to get her girls. I jumped off here, woke the kids and came straight to you. Illy brought Louis and Ceri home. She suggested that waking our kids to meet their new sibling wasn't the best idea. Seeing their faces when I told them, she was right.'
'What is she like?'
'She looks exactly like Scarlett and Ruby. You can tell they are siblings. She has my hair, Kat's hair. But brown eyes from him. She looks so much like our girls I couldn't stand it. I needed to save her. But Illy says she will need a lot of time and love to adjust to her new home.' Describing Ceri's life to date, I could feel the tension build.
'Who treats a child like that? Like a machine?'
'Clava did,' I admitted. 'Angus, too. She is only six but speaks like a well-educated adult, almost like a robot. She chooses her words with precision. It is a little off-putting. She has never known affection or love. This is going to take some work.'
'Well, you have always been up for a challenge.'
'And you? Are you alright with this?'
'You accepted Louis without question. When I woke and learned Angus had taken him, I knew with every fibre of my being that you would go after him, do everything in your power to save him. So yes. I will do this. She will be our child, as much as the others. She will learn what a family is.'
'I love you,' I murmured in his ear and nearly got carried away as he kissed me.
'Why were you gone so long? Did it take that long to find Angus?'
Swallowing hard, I lay my head on his chest again, needing to be close. I told him how long we had been on Clava. The weeks of being trapped in a bed, injected daily, being prepped for surgery. Being violated. Dale's assault and Ashton finally helping us escape.
'Oh, honey.' His arms tightened as I spoke and the emotion of being held captive and operated on against my will caught up with me, and I started to tremble. He touched my nose gingerly.
'Is it alright?'
'Still very sore,' I snuffled, fighting back the emotion as I spoke, 'but I reset it between Clava and Edinburgh. It is aligned now, and that is all that can be done. That boat has seen a few medical procedures. Many of them on me.'
'I so badly want to visit Clava right now and break more than Dale's nose.'
'I'm fine,' I choked, not wanting the memories of that place to mar our reunion.
'Did they chase you?'
I told him about Tadhg and Jakob firing the missile into Inverness harbour.
'Seriously? It is gone?'
'It is. One shot, and they won't be travelling by sea for quite some time.'
'Luca would have loved that.'
'He would. There is so much more, but only one more thing I need to tell you now.'
'More?'
'Illy is pregnant.'
Cam sat upright at that, knocking me from his chest, and bellowed from the pain.
'Pregnant? Did they do that to her?'
'No. They never told us they knew, but they didn't inject her daily like me after the first few days. They did physical exams. She had injections, but she had no surgery. We are fairly certain it is Luca's child.'
Cam lay back down. 'Is she alright? The baby? Did they do tests on her too?'
'It was me they subjected to the daily hormone injections and surgeries. We assumed I was at a different place in my cycle or that she was too old. When I went through two cycles, I just assumed that they wanted me as the replacement for Kat. Then we escaped, thanks to Ashton. It wasn't until later that we even realised. That sent her into a downward spiral, worrying about what they would have done to her baby.'
'What happened to Dale?'
'I don't know. He threatened to finish what he started, and after I screamed and alerted someone, they dragged him away. Later that night, Ashton came and released us. I guess it was Dale's assault that made him come to his senses. No one else lifted a finger to help us.'
'I always thought he was a good man.'
'Not good enough to release us sooner,' I pointed out bitterly.
'I can't believe they did that to you.'
Knowing that this topic of conversation couldn't end well, I deflected, 'It is Illy we need to worry about. They were one. Now she is alone, with those poor girls and pregnant. I promised her she wouldn't do this alone.' Gulping, I continued. 'I remember what that felt like. Having a life growing inside you but feeling empty. It is the most soul-destroying feeling, knowing you are alone but responsible for bringing a new life into the world.'
Cam's arms tightened around me, squeezing the air from my lungs.
'I am so sorry.'
'Don't be. That was a long time ago, and now I have everything I could possibly want. But she can't be alone. I can't let her go through this by herself.'
'She will never be alone. We will always be there for her. She is our famil
y too.'
'That is exactly what I told her.'
Cam's lips were soft and warm, and I felt enveloped.
'I missed you so much. For the first few weeks, all the time I was chained to that bed, I regretted not waiting until you were out of surgery, conscious, being able to say goodbye properly. I just knew if I had any chance of finding Louis, I needed to get going. Waiting around would make the search harder. Though as it turns out, he fooled us anyway.'
'I cannot thank you enough for what you did,' Cam spoke, choked with emotion. 'He truly is your son.'
'I needed to go. Illy coming surprised me, but she was fuelled by anger and justice. Needing answers. I just knew that I needed to get Louis.'
'He is all I have left of Lae. He looks so much like her, but I still see him as our child. Yours and mine. It is the oddest sensation to have him look like her, but to know that he was meant to be yours.'
I accepted his time with Laetitia, but I didn't want to discuss his former wife. Although after the events of the past weeks, I felt closer to her too. Not that I ever knew her in life, but now I talked to her, telling her little bits about Louis, about Cam. I sensed her watching over us all. But not jealously. Instinctively, I knew she had made peace with Cam and me being a family again.
'How are you doing? Sorcha said you are still in pain.'
Cam sighed. 'The pain comes and goes. Shocking migraines. Sometimes I think it is my heart hurting. For Luca and Illy, for you and Louis. The pain was so intense. As I lay there on the dock, I could see Luca gasping. He was the last thing I saw before I woke up in the clinic, Sorcha nagging me. I cannot tell you how happy I am to have you both home. I need you here.'
'Is there anything I can do?'
Cam stopped talking and cupped my bottom with his hands. Using his knee, he deftly rolled me on top of him, kissing me ardently.
I pulled back slightly, breathless. 'I want you so much,' I breathed, 'but won't it hurt?'
'Let's test that theory. Besides, some pain is worth it.'
'Oh God, I love you,' my voice husky from weariness and emotion, but I awakened more fully to the sensation of hands on my breasts, slipping down my ribs to my waist.
I arched my back with the blissful sensation of being loved after so long apart.
'Does it hurt? From what they did to you?'
I paused, my hands on his shoulders, wondering how much to tell him, but ultimately deciding honesty was best.
'The second was far worse. They weren't exactly gentle. They knocked me out both times. I'm not sure I would cope with remembering that.'
As the moonlight streamed through the window, silence descended. Cam's lips found and kissed the raised keyhole wounds on my stomach. Four of them. Two from each surgery. Not wanting to dwell on the horrors that still tormented me, I slid down and pushed my hips against him in invitation, hungry and insistent. His tongue teased against my lips, making me moan lightly. He accepted the invitation and kissed me with so much passion that my knees would have buckled had I been standing. Slowly we reconnected and returned to each other.
'I'm not letting you out of my sight today,' I heard the honeyed murmur in my ear as the lightness in the room registered.
'Are you well enough to get up?' I was barely awake and wondering if there was any way we could spend the day in bed. Despite spending weeks restrained to one, this bed was different. Large, warm and mine.
'I am. I can't wait to see Louis and meet Ceridwen. The others come after breakfast and drop in at various points throughout the day, but I want to be up when they wake. I'm sick of being an invalid.'
A wave of disappointment washed over me that I was quick to conceal. Despite wanting to hide myself from the world, stay safe and warm in my cocoon, Cam needed to see Louis. Meet Ceri. Lifting myself onto one elbow, I looked down and smiled.
'Do you think I have time to shower first? It has been so long.'
Not taking our eyes off each other, we squashed into the tiny shower cubicle in the private en-suite we had finally installed after years of waiting for four children in bathrooms. We had argued against it for years, feeling guilty about the additional water use, but succumbed after realising that we were rapidly headed for teenage years with two girls.
After inspecting my wounds in daylight, tracing his fingers along my still swollen and highly coloured forehead, cheek and nose, he span me around, washing my hair with his strong fingers, taking the time to massage the delicious rose-scented shampoo in my scalp as I leaned back on him. I closed my eyes in bliss as he rinsed it out, and the suds ran down my body and into the base that caught the water, ready for recycling. I hadn't had anything other than a sponge bath in months, and a shower was heaven. Soaping me up and rinsing me off, I felt clean. Refreshed. Ready to face anything. Cam's arms came around me as I stood there, soaking in the sensation of running water.
'I owe Sorcha my life, again,' he breathed in my ear as I ran my fingers along the scars across his stomach. The jagged horizontal slash inflicted on him years ago, the fresh vertical surgical incision not yet healed. 'She is making quite a habit of it. Did you know she gave me her blood? Mid-surgery, she ordered Hamish to set up a line, donating her blood to me?'
I cracked my eyes wide open to look up at him.
'Seriously? And he complied?'
'We are the same blood type. But the way he told the story, it wasn't given as a request.'
'She is a force to be reckoned with,' I whispered, as my fingers continued touching the still prominent wounds, making him flinch slightly.
'As are you, my love.'
'What do you want to do now that you know?' Cam asked as we dressed.
'Do?'
'The girls. Ask for shared custody?'
I shook my head. 'No. I spent weeks in that bed with nothing to do but think and talk to Illy. I owe her my sanity. Truly, I would have gone mad if it wasn't for her. I didn't know about Ceridwen then, but we talked about Scarlett and Ruby. They aren't mine. I am glad they are here, and I want to watch them grow up. But I meant what I said. Even though I know for certain they are all my nieces, those girls see Jorja and Bridget as their mothers. One day, we will tell them about Kat. I will insist upon that. Not so they don't feel loved, but so they understand what horrors we inflicted on each other. In the name of science.'
'And Ceridwen? What is she like? Her personality, I mean.'
I had only spent a short time with Ceridwen on the return voyage here. Louis had been kind, but wanted to be with me, not leaving my side. Illy had spent a little time with Ceridwen, reading with her.
'She is damaged,' Illy had warned me as I had seen her off to collect her own children, Louis and Ceridwen safely out of earshot. 'She has never known love. You will need to go very slowly. Don't overwhelm her. Don't startle her. She has never been shown affection, been taught how to play. Louis tried, but the concept of play was as foreign to her as teaching a jellyfish to play tennis.'
Cam grinned at the analogy as he pulled on his socks. 'Come on. I can hear them.'
Cam and I opened the kitchen door to find Ceridwen seated, upright and rigid at the table, wearing the same crumpled clothes as yesterday. I need to redress that, I thought as I saw her. Louis stood at the biogas cooktop, trying to make her breakfast. Louis looked up at the sound of the door opening and dropped the milk, flying into his father's arms. My heart winced as I watched Cam grimace from the impact, but hug his son protectively, then hold him at arm's length to check him over before hugging him again. Ceri, unaware I was watching, stared at the emotional reunion in amazement. Illy is right, I thought sadly. As she saw me watching, she assumed a blank expression. One that I had perfected over the years. A mask. Never letting people see your thoughts and emotions. I looked kindly at her as I retrieved the jug and grabbed a cloth to mop up the spilled milk.
You must be Ceridwen,' Cam said, dropping to his knee in front of her.
'You may call me Ceri,' she said, a littl
e overwhelmed by this introduction. I wondered for a moment what she had expected.
'I'm Cam,' he said softly. 'Louis' dad. I am also father to Katrin, Xanthe and Thorsten.'
'Where are they?' she asked, trying to be brave. I knew the look.
Cam looked at me for support.
'Do you remember yesterday when Illy brought you here? I went to see them. They are still next door. Cam's sister, Sorcha, is a doctor. She lives in that house over there with her partner, Diana, and their children, Sam and Kendra. They looked after our children whilst I was away.'
'They did not stay with you?' she asked innocently, looking at Cam.
I sensed his pause and jumped in. 'Cam wasn't well. It was best they were with their cousins.' How did I tell this little girl that the most recent father she had known had tried to kill Louis' father?
'Louis told me that fa… Angus,' she corrected herself, 'hurt you and killed Summer and Allison's father.' She turned to look at Louis for confirmation of the names, and he nodded gravely.
Turning back to look at Cam, she asked, 'Are you better now?'
Cam smiled kindly. 'I am. My sister is a wonderful doctor.'
A commotion outside heralded the arrival of the children, squealing again as they saw Louis and me. This time, it was a full-blown family reunion. I watched Ceri's perplexed reaction as she shrank against the wall, taking in the sights, sounds, and feel of a noisy family.
Di hugged me again. 'I am so glad you are home safely!'
'You told me that yesterday! I can't tell you how good it feels to be home. Truthfully, now, how much of it is because you want to get rid of my kids?'
Sorcha eyed Cam moving around the kitchen critically.
'You must be Ceridwen,' Diana said kindly, her eyes twinkling.
Ceri crinkled her nose and spoke bluntly. 'You are Chinese. I have seen pictures of people like you before. Chinese culture is very old. I learned about many of the ancient dynasties.'
Diana laughed merrily. 'I am Australian Chinese. But now I live here, so I guess that makes me Scottish,' she smiled at the girl, not letting the outburst change her bubbly demeanour.