by Beth Rosalee
We have one of the most secure territories in the entire shifter world. We haven’t been attacked in over a thousand years, but it’s always good to stay on your toes. Always be prepared. We are like Fort-Knox, military-style training and all. I pull up to our five-bedroom house that we have about half a mile out from the main pack mansion, where my father lives with his mates. I take a deep breath and release some of the tension that I’ve been carrying since Liam walked in the office with our mate. Time to grab some food and take long shower before in due for my shift of guard duty.
Chapter 9
Celia
I head to the store and run inside to grab plenty of snacks, drinks and some small meals to make for myself while I’m here. Once I get back to the hotel, I unload and put away my small stock of groceries and decide to make myself some lunch. While I eat, I grab my book and read a few chapters. After I finish, I look at the time and realize it’s only 2pm, maybe I will take a nap.
Then I can find somewhere to go dancing to kill the rest of the night. I take off my boots and shorts, then climb under the covers. This bed suddenly feels so empty. I feel so alone. With that thought I feel that “something” I’ve always seemed to have locked away, stir in the back of my mind. It’s much stronger than ever before, making my whole world shift for a split second, taking everything out of focus.
What. The. Fuck. Was. That?
I’m breathing erratically and my heart is nearly pounding out of my chest. I’m so terrified and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I don’t have anyone I can even talk to about it, to help me understand what is going on. Like “Oh hey, so I have this ‘something’, I don’t really know what to call it, that seems to be locked inside my mind, trying to break free…. can you help me?”
Ha, I’d end up in a mental ward if I ever told someone all the things going on in my head.
That bastard has screwed up my head so bad, I don’t think I’ll ever truly be free of him. I don’t even know why I tried. I’m just some stupid, crazy girl. Who would want to be with the likes of someone like me? As my thoughts continue to turn darker, I begin to sink back into the depression that is constantly trying to drag me under.
As it takes me in its deadly grip, I can feel that hidden part of my mind thrashing against its confines, trying to break free, but can’t. Instead, I’m slammed into the last memory of Nathan before he put me in the hospital and changed my life forever.
“Where have you been? You think you can just leave whenever you want to without telling me!” Nathan was screaming at me.
He was waiting by the front door for me when I walked back inside. He shoved me into the corner so hard that my shoulders and head slammed into the wall.
“Please! Nathan, I tried calling you a bunch of times, but you wouldn’t answer. My mom is sick, I just went to help her,” I pleaded to him a trembling voice.
Tears streamed down my face unchecked.
“You’re a lying little cunt! Where. The. Fuck. Were. YOU!!!!!” he roared in my face.
I’d never seen him like this, and I was terrified.
“Please…. please…. I swear, she’s really sick. The doctors just diagnosed her with thyroid cancer. She’s going to chem”
Whack.
He slapped me across the face so hard that my head rotated ninety degrees, cracking my neck. I cried out in pain and drop to the floor, holding my cheek.
“Now, bitch, tell me where you were. Or is it who you were with? Huh? You been fucking another man, whore?”
He grabbed my hair and wrapped it around his fist, yanking me to my feet.
“NO! I swear! I would never!” I pleaded with him, but it didn’t matter.
I realized that he’s finally completely snapped. He had thar crazed look in his eye as he started dragging me down the hall. I was petrified. Oh stars, what was he going to do to me? I was starting to truly panic then, gasping for breath. My heart was about to burst out of my chest.
“Let’s find out, shall we. Let’s see how dirty your little cunt is. You want me to see that you’ve been fucking someone else don’t you, you disgusting little whore.”
He slammed me down on the bed and began trying to rip my clothes off.
“Oh God, no! Stop! Stop! Please stop!” I screamed as I thrashed around violently, trying to get away.
He was going to rape me, again.
I couldn’t… I just couldn’t anymore.
As I frantically tried to get away, I ended up slapping him with a flailing hand. Time stopped. Everything stopped. I was a wide-eyed, snot-nosed, sobbing mess. He rubbed his cheek, then looked into my eyes.
Oh fuck, oh shit. Oh no, no, no, no, I thought.
He looked unhinged a few minutes ago, but I was wrong.
That look, oh stars, had my entire body breaking out in sweat. I thought that Iwas going to pass out from pure panic. He didn’t even say anything, just cocked his arm back and punched me full force in the ribs. I screamed in agony as it snaps.
He rained down blow after blow. Twisting and snapping every little bone as I screamed until my throat was raw and my voice was gone. He was destroying anything that he could reach until I was just a bloody mess.
He finally stopped, his chest heaving from the exertion. I started thanking the stars that he’s stopped. My breath was rattling in my chest, as I take tiny gasps of breath, and I thought that he punctured a lung.
Everything hurt.
So.
Fucking.
Much.
He took a deep breath and shook his head at me because, of course, this was my fault. He started to undress me again, slowly this time, like he knew that I couldn’t fight back. He seemed to be enjoying his artwork that was my battered body. It turned him on! I could feel how hard he was, and I wanted to throw up.
I couldn’t fight the vomit as it rushed up my throat. All that I could do was turn my head so that I didn’t choke on it. He laughed at that. Laughed! I was going to die that night; I just knew it. He had really lost it and taken that final plunge off the deep end. When he finally got me free of my clothes, he stood and quickly stripped, too.
“It’s ok, baby, I’m sorry. Let me make love to you, it will feel better then,” he crooned in my ear as he wrapped my broken legs around him, making me groan in agony as he positioned himself at my dry entrance.
Grabbing me roughly by the face, he slammed his mouth against mine at the same time that he slammed his cock inside of me to the hilt, moaning in pleasure. I tried to scream at the intrusion, but my voice was gone. He used the opportunity to shove his tongue down my throat, making me gag. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried and find a place in my mind to hide until he thrust one last time and, with a deep groan, came deep inside me.
He pecked my lips one last time, then pulled himself up and off of me. He walked to the bathroom and showers off the all the blood and his own mess. He got out and walked to the dresser to grab some boxers, threw them on, grabbed his phone, and simply walked out of the bedroom. The door was left wide open and I was still just laying there.
The tears that had long since stopped, started back up again.
He was going to leave me there to bleed to death. I couldn’t even call for help. I was really going to die right there in that bed. As I laid there in pain, I heard him start talking on the phone.
“Hey babe, want to come over? I’m home alone. Yeah, alright, I’ll see you in five.”
I started crying harder; I knew that he was the one cheating. He was even bringing her here and just said that he was home alone! Oh stars, he was going to fuck her after he just finished raping me. I heard the front door open a few minutes later, then the sound of clothes hitting the floor. Moaning and kissing started up as I finally fade to black, sighing with relief from the pain.
I come out of the memory, gasping for breath, and I sit straight up in the bed. I realize that my shirt and face are soaked with my tears that are still freely flowing. My entire body is shaking from residual fear and pain.
I was in the hospital for over two months healing from that.
They only put Nathan in jail for a week, and he posted bail after that. Thankfully, the hospital was adamant about protecting me and they didn’t allow him anywhere near me, no matter how hard he tried. I still can’t believe the police didn’t do anything to him after putting me in the hospital, near death. I’m still unsure of how I even got to the hospital, I blacked out when that asshole started fucking some woman in the living room.
When I asked the nurses about it, they just said someone called the ambulance, they didn’t know who. The police are worthless when it comes to domestic violence and were no help to me; they even made it seem as though the situation was my fault. I shake my head trying to clear the rest of that memory away, pushing it deep in my mind and locking it away so that I don’t have to deal with it. That’s my go to method for all the tormented stuff that tries to flood my mind on a daily basis. I don’t know how to deal with it, so why even try?
I think that a nap is probably a bad idea after that, so I’m going to go take a shower instead, to wash the rest of those memories away. I strip out of the rest of my clothes and walk into the bathroom. I turn the shower on the hottest setting possible and wait for it to heat up. As I wait, I stare at my reflection in the mirror.
What is so special about me?
I have literally no color to my skin. I’m pale from head to toe. With hair so blonde that it’s white, with matching eyebrows and eyelashes. My eyes are the palest crystal- blue that I’ve ever seen- they are nearly clear. I’m not even skinny, like most woman who are desirable. I’ve got large breasts with a slim waist, but my tummy is soft, and my hips flair out wide and a have a full ass.
I’m fat.
I can’t even call myself a plain Jane.
I look alien, unnatural, just…. ugly.
Sighing, I turn away from the mirror and test the water out with my hand. Satisfied with the temperature, I hop into the scalding hot water, letting the pain of the water wash away the pain of those memories. I don’t know how long I end up standing in the shower, but the water is turning cold and stinging my tender flesh. I quickly wash and hop out. I wrap my hair and as I apply my sunscreen-lotion combo all over, I decide to go out and dance now rather than waiting until later.
Sifting through my clothes I find a cute wrap dress that I just purchased. It’s a dark fuchsia that comes down to just above my knees. I grab my black flats to pair with it. I lay that out on my bed, then return to the bathroom to blow dry my long hair and apply a tiny bit of makeup. Just some mascara, eyeliner, a nude blush, and just some Chapstick to finish it off. Satisfied that this is as good as it’s going to get, I grab my dress and undergarments to slip on, then throw on my flats. Time to really let go, lose myself in the moment, and let all my fears slip away. There is no better way than on the dance floor….
Chapter 10
Celia
I check my reflection, then head out the door, locking everything up before I leave. As I turn, I notice a note on the floor right by my hotel room door. I reach down and grab it. I open it to read as I head out to the truck. Right as I reach the edge of the parking lot, I pause and look down at the note, it says three simple words that rock my world on its axis.
I’ve found you.
No signature, just those three words.
I don’t need a signature to know that handwriting. My breath is coming out in short gasps and my eyes are going into tunnel like vision. Fuck, I’m having another panic attack.
Just get in the SUV, Ce; you can do this.
I grab the key fob up in my shaking hands and press the unlock button; it takes four tries before I finally get it. I stumble over to the truck, almost falling flat on my face a few times in my panic-induced haze. Finally reaching the car, I place my hands on the hood and take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself; I can’t drive anywhere like this. I walk to the driver’s side and reach for the door. As I pull it open, I hear gravel crunch not far behind me. I whip my head around, looking for the source, but don’t find anyone or anything there.
Great, now my panic mode is right back up. I scramble into the SUV; I slam the door closed and lock it. Taking some more deep breaths as I grip the wheel, I look at myself in the review mirror, and my eyes widen when I realize that I didn’t check the car to make sure its empty. I turn to look in the back seat and peer into the very back to make sure no one is in here with me. Satisfied that I’m alone, I lean back in the seat and just concentrate on breathing deeply. I have to calm down a little before I drive anywhere.
I close my eyes and take another deep breath. Just as I’m exhaling, there is a knock on my window. What do I do? I scream, of course. I think that I nearly shatter the glass and give the poor hotel manager on the other side a heart attack. Realizing that I’m ok, I clear my throat and put the key in the ignition and turn it over so I can lower the window. I look at him, not really sure what to say after I just screamed my head off like the lunatic that I’m starting to believe I am.
“I was just making sure you were ok, ma’am. I saw you struggling to get to your vehicle. I was yelling, trying to get your attention to check on you, but I guess you didn’t hear me,” he says a bit sheepishly.
“Oh right, um, I’m ok. Sorry about that,” I chuckle a bit nervously.
“Ok, ma’am, as long as you are alright. I’ll just leave you to it. Are sure you that you are ok?” he asks with genuine concern in his voice, warming my heart a bit.
“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks for checking on me,” I say with a warm smile.
He walks off back to the office area as I roll my window back up. Thanks to him, I can head out now. He shocked my system into overdrive, basically settling everything back down for the most part. My hands are still shaking and my heart is racing a bit from it all, but I can drive now.
Turning the key over all the way to crank the truck up, I let it run for a minute so that the air can start blowing cool. Taking one last deep breath, I shake out my body, then throw it in drive to go find a place to hang for the night. As I’m driving around, I realize just how tiny this town is. There is only one place it seems that has what I’m looking for, some type of bar and dance club combo, but I like it.
This is exactly what I need.
Finding a place to park, I head inside and straight over to the bar. It’s not very busy right now since it’s only 7:30pm, but I can grab some dinner and a few drinks first. I grab a spot at the bar where I can still see the door and wait for the bartender to walk over.
“Evening Sug’, what can I get for you?” she asks with a sharp twang in her voice.
“Hey there! Can I just have a Mt. Dew and a menu for now?”
“Sure thing, Sug’. Here’s a menu and I’ll have your drink in just a second.”
I smile at her with a thanks as I look over the menu. Once she comes back with my drink, I place my order and hand her back the menu. Grabbing my drink, I turn on the stool to look around the place as I wait for my food. I’m still shaken from the note. This way I can people watch, but also keep my eyes on the door. I chose a spot that allows the door to stay in my peripheral vision at all times, as I’m still terrified that he will walk through it at any moment and drag me away.
I love people watching, though.
It’s almost as relaxing as dancing is to me. That’s a lie, I don’t think anything is as soothing and relaxing as dancing; it’s so freeing. To be able to just let go and truly be yourself for a moment in time and not care who is looking.
Not sure anything can compare.
It doesn’t take to long for my food to show up, so I turn back around and eat it quietly for a bit until the bartender comes over to refill my drink.
“Hey, does this place pick up much?” I ask her as she’s grabbing my glass.
“Oh Sug, just wait another thirty minutes or so, that’s when most everyone starts showing up. Then it gets crazy; the dance floor will be packed on a Saturday. This is our
busiest night of the week,” she says with a little fluff of her tits and a wink.
Pulling her shirt down a bit more to ensure that she gets plenty of tips makes me laugh.
“You’ll get lots of tips; that’s a great pair you got there,” I giggle and finish eating my food as she heads off to refill my drink and tend to other customers.
As I finish up my food, I notice more people are starting to file in the front door. I wave the bartender over before she gets too busy.
“Hey, love, can I get an amaretto sour with a shot of pineapple juice in it to get me started?” I ask her as I slip her the money for the food and drinks with a very generous tip to go with it.
“Coming right up, Sug,” she says as she heads off to pay out my bill and get my drink. In the background, someone cranks up the music. Oh yes, now things are about to get interesting for me. She brings me back my drink and tries to hand me the change.
Shaking my head, I say, “It’s yours for the fantastic view you gave me while I ate.”
I wink at her and she laughs. I grab my drink and down it quickly. My favorite song just started. There isn’t anyone on the dance floor yet, but fuck it. Liquid courage is a great fix for that. I need to let go of all the shit that I’ve been going through.
I put the glass on the bar and head out to the dance floor as a couple gets up and starts dancing. Good, at least I’m not totally alone. I move to the middle of the floor and start swaying my hips, finding a good rhythm to match to the beat of music. I love this song and throw my arms above my head, closing my eyes to myself to it.
Chapter 11
Celia
I don’t know how long I’ve been dancing, but when I next open my eyes the dance floor is packed around me and quite a few guys are watching me. I’m covered in sweat from all the dancing I’m doing, but I don’t even care. I’ve never felt so free from all the pain and confusion that I’ve been feeling.