by M. Hollis
That was the way my mom saw the world. If it was meant to be yours, it’d be yours. And if it wasn’t…
I didn’t agree with her on this. I believed we needed to fight for it. That if something wasn’t working, we had to try another approach, to find another way to get what we wanted.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said. “So, tell me about the kids.”
Chapter Six
MR. BROWN YELLED at us for the third time this month. Someone had forgotten to clean the dishes from last night, and now we had to bear the brunt of his rage. I kept my expression neutral. On days like this, it was best to say nothing and just let him do his angry act.
“I need this team to do their work. And we can’t do that if we forget small things. Because, yes, I know they seem trivial, but what if we end up forgetting about this all the time? What if we had a visit from the health inspector? Whose money is going to pay the fine? Mine!”
I felt Paige tensing up beside me. She wasn’t the guilty one, but we all felt it when this happened because, in the end, it was a problem for everyone. We knew it was Ellie, a small blonde girl, who started a few weeks ago and worked mostly in the kitchen. Anytime someone nice began working at the café, we did our best to protect them from the boss in moments like this. We couldn’t lose the good ones so fast.
“Now get to work,” Mr. Brown finished his speech, and we ran to do our tasks.
Paige and I walked together to the front door, opening it to the first customer who was already waiting outside. I gave him a smile and a nod. The middle-aged black man came in, walking straight to the counter to talk to Tina.
“Can I get the deck today?” Paige asked. We usually decided who was cleaning each part of the store between us before the day even started.
“Sure. No problem.”
I spent my morning working on keeping my smile on my face. One customer knocked a milkshake all over the floor, and I spent half an hour cleaning the place. I knew I was slower than usual, but I just didn’t have the patience for the typical workplace crap today.
When my coworkers noticed my shitty mood, they decided to leave me alone. The day was not going great. There were times I wanted to give up my work there, go find something better, and get my life together. But I’d gotten used to it. If I was going to be thrown out of the country, what was the point anyway?
I came to Canada with hopes and dreams, thinking I could make my life here. I planned to finish my photography classes and find temporary work in my area, at first. But after graduation, I couldn’t find an actual job. No one wanted to hire people fresh out of school. Everyone told me that it’d happen, and I just needed to keep trying. But now it’s been months, and I’m still stuck in this café with customers yelling at me all day and my boss shouting at us every time something goes wrong.
By the time I managed to get through the door of my apartment, my mood had turned even worse. I took a long shower, letting the warm water relax my tired muscles. Then I found my most comfortable clothes and threw myself onto my bed, skipping dinner altogether.
My stomach complained, but I tried to ignore it. I needed to stay still for a while.
My phone vibrated and I reached for it, frowning at the screen. There was a new message from Abigail.
Busy tonight?
Why?
I was thinking about having another meeting to get to know each other.
What did you have in mind?
Just getting hot dogs across my street right now. If you want to come, I’ll buy you some, and we can talk. My place. You probably need to know where you’ll be living for the next two years, right?
I was tempted by her offer. My mouth watered simply from the thought of hot dogs. And Abby was right about the house. I hadn’t even thought about this part yet.
Send me the address. And can you get extra ketchup?
ABIGAIL LIVED IN an apartment only fifteen minutes from me. The street wasn’t in an area as good as mine, but it wasn’t that bad, so I was counting myself lucky here. She even had a working elevator, which Julie and I missed in ours every time we came home drunk.
As soon as I rang the door, Abby opened it to me with a small smile on her lips. She had her hair up in a ponytail today, and I refrained from thinking about how cute her cheekbones looked.
“Hi, come in!” she said, giving me space to move.
I walked into her apartment to a beautifully furnished living room. My own place with Julie was smaller than this but comfortable for both of us. Abigail’s place looked like a scene out of a movie. All white furniture and large glass windows with a great view of the CN Tower.
“You never told me you’re rich,” I said, eyes large in awe at the room in front of me.
Abby laughed at this. “I’m not rich, but my family is. They help me pay for this, and in exchange, any of my hundred relatives can crash in the guest room whenever they want. And my mom only let me move here if I promised to look after the place.”
As she explained, I walked past a tall bookshelf. There were many titles from different genres, ranging from romance to horror fiction, all neatly organized by author name. In between, I found a large collection of Ben Wyatt’s books occupying almost the entire second shelf. Abby must’ve been a great fan of his mysteries.
“This place used to be my uncle’s until he died a few years ago,” she said.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly, turning away from the bookshelf.
“He isn’t in pain anymore.”
This only raised more questions in my mind. Something serious must have happened, but I wasn’t going to try to force anything out of her unless she chose to share it.
I walked to the couch, wondering if I should sit or not. There were cute purple throw pillows on the yellow upholstery and a fluffy beige carpet underneath. One could get used to living here.
“Let’s go to the kitchen,” Abby said. “We should eat before the hot dogs get cold.”
I followed her through another door, finding myself in a kitchen big enough for a family of ten. I had to remind myself not to let my mouth drop to the floor. Abigail pointed to the bar stools at the counter where the hot dogs were already served. I smiled at seeing a coke waiting for me.
I sat and felt my stomach singing at the delicious smell. “Thanks. This was really nice of you.”
Abigail shrugged, focusing on her own hot dog. She didn’t ask me for the ketchup, and I saved that new information about her. The food tasted like heaven. Sometimes, after a long, awful day at work, all I needed was good food.
“So you mentioned we needed to talk more about ourselves,” I said, trying to make conversation.
Abby stopped eating and cleaned the corner of her mouth with a napkin. “Yeah, so I had an idea.”
She got up and brought a bunch of little flash cards from her backpack, which was on another chair.
“I made these— Okay, don’t laugh! I made cards where we can write questions and answers. This way we can check to see how much we’ve learned about each other. It was my favorite method of studying in school, and I thought it could be a fun idea.”
I bit down on my bottom lip to hold in my laughter. “I have actually never used this method before, so I’m open to it. Tell me how this will work.”
Abby slid half of the cards to me, before placing a few on her side of the counter. “I wrote down these random questions, and you have to answer them. They are not all about real things, as we’re not a real couple, obviously.” She seemed a little flustered at saying that. “We can do this while I finish eating, and then we can discuss it when we’re done.”
“Okay, sounds fun.”
I read the cards with one hand and took little bites of my hot dog with the other. The first question was about my parents’ names. But the next ones were getting more interesting.
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
How did we meet?
What’s your favorite thing about your partner?
I wrote my answ
ers and took my time with my hot dog. Abby was already done, fidgeting with the cards in her hand. She looked at me, saw I was still writing, and decided to go clean the dishes.
“I’m done,” I said after a while.
Abby came back and sat beside me. She brought her cards closer, her hand brushing the counter surface in anxious circles. I felt like I was about to be exposed.
She looked up, and our eyes met. Hers were a dark brown, beautiful, and full of life. They were the kind of eyes I could get lost in for a long time. Usually, when I stared into someone’s face for too long, I’d get uncomfortable, but today I realized Abby’s eyes didn’t make me feel like that. Her expression had an openness, an acceptance new to me.
She trusted me. That’s what this was. Abby trusted me enough that I knew she would accept anything I had to say without passing judgment.
“I can start,” I said.
Abby nodded, looking relieved.
I grabbed one of my cards and smiled at the question. “What did you want to be growing up?”
Abby stared at me for a few seconds before finally making a movement with her head. “So what was it?”
“No, no! I want you to guess what it was. Isn’t that how the game works?”
Abby rolled her eyes. She sat up straighter, looking right into my eyes and frowning adorably. “I’m thinking veterinarian.”
“Nope.”
“Teacher?”
“Not even close.”
Abby groaned. “Just tell me!”
“I wanted to be an actress.” I made a pose, placing my hands under my chin and looking at the wall with my best fake-acting face.
Abby laughed openly. I loved her reaction to my silliness.
“What made you give up?” she asked.
“Phones with cameras,” I said. “My best friend got one when we were in our last year of middle school. We used to take selfies together all the time, and then she’d let me take pictures of her. I asked my mom if she could give me a camera, and she laughed, saying those things were expensive. My brother was already in med school by then and gave me one for Christmas. One of the very few nice things he ever did for me. Me and my best friend would walk around the city, finding places for me to photograph…” I trailed off.
Abby leaned forward, her eyes never leaving my face.
“Then I got into college, got on a plane, and here I am.”
I tried to look for another card, ready to change the topic.
Abby tipped her head, eyes narrowing. “Do you still love her?”
I froze in place, swallowing dry. “She’s getting married, you know. Found the love of her life last year.”
“And then you decided to give up photography because it reminded you of her.”
“It’s a good guess, but no. I broke my camera a few months ago.”
Abby gave me a little smile, nudging my shoulder.
“My turn.” She picked one of her cards. “Did you ever have a pet?”
“I think you had a cat. Probably a gray one that still lives with your parents.”
“Nope, I’m a dog girl. Her name is Jelly Bean.”
“That’s the cutest name.”
“She’s the cutest dog. Maybe you’ll get a chance to know her soon.”
“I’d like that.” I cleared my throat. “Next question.”
“Milk or dark chocolate?”
“Dark, for sure. Favorite movie?”
“Mamma Mia.”
“You’re a musical girl. I should have known.”
Abby laughed her pretty laugh again, a subtle blush blooming on her cheeks.
And just like that, all the troubles of the day didn’t seem so bad anymore.
I WENT HOME that night feeling less annoyed with my life. It was nice to talk to someone new who didn’t know all my secrets and habits yet. Abby was serious, but she could also be interesting and funny and keep up with my little jokes.
When I opened the front door, I saw Julie was still on the couch. She was typing furiously on her laptop, and I tried to run to my bedroom so as not to disturb her hard work. She usually didn’t like when we interrupted her during moments of inspiration.
But as I was about to walk through my bedroom door, Julie raised her arm. I waited for a moment until she finished her paragraph or page.
She turned to me then, and I prepared myself for the worst. There was a glint in her eyes that told me something big was going on inside her head.
“I need a favor,” she said.
I took a step closer. “What kind of favor?”
“We got the green light for the production, but I don’t have a couple yet.”
“A couple?”
“Yes!” Julie shifted, getting more excited by the minute. “We’re telling four stories in the short, and one of them is about a couple involving two women. What do you think about you and Abigail doing this?”
“I’m not sure if that’s her thing…”
“You could use it as practice for the fake marriage. Acting!” Julie raised both arms and spread her hands, making a big scene out of it. She would get like that sometimes.
“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to her.”
“Awesome. Thank you, thank you so much!”
Chapter Seven
IT TOOK ME two days to work up the courage to ask Abby if she wanted to be in the movie. In the meantime, Julie sent me a bunch of details about the project. From what I understood, it was an analysis of how humans see love and relate to each other, being in friendship, romance, family, and ourselves.
But Julie didn’t do things simple. There was no dialogue in the fifteen minutes planned for the short movie. We had to do everything in gestures, meaningful looks, and a lot of introspective shit.
It could be hard, but it was also a really nice story to tell. I liked how much passion Julie and Cam put into their work.
And yet, I didn’t tell Paige anything at work. She smiled at me across the café, while she was talking to another customer. The place was mostly empty, and I decided to take a small break in the storage room. The boss wasn’t around, and we had to take advantage of these quiet days as much as we could.
I sat on the floor, between two large empty cardboard boxes, and took out my phone, turning it around between my fingers.
Would anyone be mad at me if I called Abby right now? I stared at the door with a frown. I could do this quickly. In case Paige or one of the girls came in, I would just pretend my mom was calling about an emergency.
The call rang a few times before Abby answered. “Hi, everything all right?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because you’re supposed to be at work right now. Or did I get your free day wrong?”
I felt my stomach turning, giddy at the fact she knew which days I was in.
“I’m at work,” I said. “But I had to ask you something. Julie needs a favor.”
“Sure, how can I help?”
“It’s about both of us. She’s making a short movie, and she needs two girls to play a couple. We don’t have lines or anything.”
“So what would we have to do if there are no lines?”
“Probably like hold hands, smile, and walk around the park. Something like that. We could use it as practice for…our thing.”
“That would be fun.” I could hear the eagerness in her voice and hated that I was happy about it.
“Are you in, then?”
“Why not?”
“Cool. See you soon then. I’ll be sending you more info later.”
I turned the call off and bit my lip, suppressing the huge grin on my face.
NEXT WEEKEND, JULIE told us to meet them at Queens Park. Though a quick trip, Abby read a book by my side as we rode the subway. She seemed absorbed in the story, frowning from time to time as she flipped the pages. I could never read when I was moving, because it would make me nauseous.
An old woman in front of me was close to falling asleep. It was almost 10
:00 a.m., but on a Sunday, everyone was tired from the long week.
“Come on,” Abby said suddenly, getting up from her seat.
I looked up at the lights, noticing we were in our station already. Even as she read, Abby paid more attention to her surroundings than me.
We walked through the empty station side by side. I was still sluggish from waking up so early on my free day, but having Abby there helped me not to get lost or hit my head on the nearest wall.
“Think she will be there already?” Abby asked as we reached the outside.
“For sure.” Julie was super worried about getting things ready for filming day.
Abby nodded. She had an odd expression, and I wondered if she was nervous about doing this. I stared at the street, trying to guide myself by the directions Cam had given me.
“We are almost there,” I said.
We crossed the street outside the station and headed straight over to the war memorial in front of the Ontario Legislative Building where Julie and Cam said they’d meet us.
Julie was already behind the camera when we found the park, probably lost in her world as she adjusted the lighting and focus. As we approached them, Cam spotted us and gave us a little wave.
“Hi, there,” I said. “This is Abby. Abby, these are Cam and Julie.”
The two girls welcomed Abby with warm hellos.
“We’re only going to do a few shots of you two around here,” Cam said. “Don’t overthink.”
“We want this to look as natural as possible,” Julie said. “How about we start with a scene of you two holding hands as you walk around the park?”
Abby held my hand. After a second of surprise at how cold she was, I smiled at her. We tried to relax and get used to it for a moment.
“Action!” Julie yelled.
Abby and I started to walk, but it couldn’t have been more than twenty seconds before Cam made us stop. She came to us, tight-lipped in a way that told me she wasn’t happy with our performance.
“What did I say about overthinking? Dora, your walking looks weird as fuck. Abigail, relax your back and your face. Let’s try again.”