by M. Hollis
“I’m going to sponsor you for a scholarship in the master’s program if you’re interested. But that means three years without leaving the country, getting better than average grades in your classes, and working with me as my teacher’s assistant for at least two years.” She paused for a second, giving me time to consider her offer. “So, what do you think?”
I didn’t even have to think. “I’m in. Show me where to sign.”
After I finished carrying all my new documents back home, I sent a message to my mom.
I’m staying.
My phone vibrated throughout the rest of the day with countless messages from my family wanting to know how everything had changed so dramatically. I didn’t exactly have a guarantee that I was staying, but I had a good feeling about it. If Professor T was fighting in my corner and giving me a reference letter, I could get in. I just knew I could.
In two months, I’d have the answer. For now, I had to create a more detailed portfolio and proposal for my program. Thankfully, I had a shiny new camera to help me with that. Blessed be Julie and Cam. I doubt I’d get this ready on time if it wasn’t for their great help. I’d never be able to pay them back for their kindness.
Now, I had to unpack all my clothes and make myself at home again. Only time would tell if things would work out the way I wanted.
Chapter Fourteen
6 MONTHS LATER
“Can you watch the till for me? I really need to pee.”
Tina jumped from one leg to the other, looking at me anxiously. I sighed and moved to the other side of the counter. I could take care of it for a few minutes before I had to go to Julie and Cam’s film festival.
Just as I finished talking with the last customer in line, the boss came to my side. He was smiling. The scariest thing on Earth.
“I know I said this before, but I really am glad you stayed in Canada, Isadora,” he said. “When you mentioned that you needed to go home, I got worried. You’re one of our best staff. It’d be a great loss.” He tapped his fingers on the counter twice and left.
I stared at his back, cringing. He thought he was good at lying. But I knew he only wanted me here because it would be too hard to train someone to take my place. Well, he was in for a surprise. I was about to get a nice internship in school in one or two semesters with Professor T, and then I was quitting this job.
“Excuse me?” a familiar voice said.
I turned around, ready to serve the new customer, but as soon as I saw Abby’s smile, I froze. She looked stunning with her hair in a high bun, and she was wearing a green shirt and black tailored pants that hugged her in all the right places. I cleared my throat, trying to regain my composure.
“How can I help you?” I said.
“I want a peanut butter cupcake, please.”
I frowned, deciding to tease her for a moment. “No donuts today?”
“Nope. Not today,” she replied, smiling for the first time.
I got her cupcake and gave her a little plate. “Anything else?”
Before Abby could say anything, Paige grabbed her by the shoulder. “Hey, I’m almost ready to go. Let’s have a quick break first.”
Abby gave me a sad look, and then they were gone to the deck. I spent two minutes there in shock. I knew she would be going with us, but it still felt strange to see her after all this time.
It wasn’t like we had been totally ignoring each other after our breakup. But we definitely weren’t doing great at this friendship thing either. I didn’t know how she explained it to her family or if they hated me at all. But I didn’t feel I was entitled to ask. Our messages were mostly only asking each other how life was going or if we had any news. After a month or two, they started to get more and more scarce.
There was a commotion at the café entrance, and then Julie and Cam came running over to me. The two were extremely excited about the screening of their short movie; I had been hearing their squeals of happiness for days now. Cam was wearing a floor-length, strapless red dress, and Julie had her best suit on. They looked like a glamour couple from Hollywood. I smiled, sharing in their happiness.
“Do you have much longer left?” Julie asked.
“No, just waiting for Tina to come back.” Right as I said that, Tina walked out of the bathroom and rejoined me at the till.
“Sorry about that! I know you have a thing but, I really needed that break,” she said.
“No problem. I’m getting out of here now. See you tomorrow.”
We said goodbye, and I went to the storage room, quickly changed clothes in the bathroom, and then we were ready to go.
Paige and Abby came laughing from the deck and met us at the door.
“Are you nervous for your big night?” Paige asked.
Cam’s smile turned even bigger. “Not at all.”
We all laughed at her confidence. Abby’s eyes met mine, and I felt my face heating up, so I quickly looked away.
Thankfully, we were able to book a spacious Uber, and I called shotgun on the passenger seat. Paige and Abby asked Cam and Julie many questions about their process to get accepted into the festival, and the couple answered them with enthusiasm.
When we arrived, we got to walk on an actual red carpet. It was a bit surreal, even if it was only a small local movie festival. Here I was, taking pictures with my best friends and wearing my ugly backpack containing Abby’s gift. It was constantly poking me in the back, making me feel a little guiltier each time. I brought the pen collection with me tonight, thinking it was time to give it to her after all these months. Before, I thought that would be too silly. But now maybe she would take it as a nice friendly gesture.
We did another bathroom break because Cam didn’t want to go in without being a hundred percent prepared and then took our seats inside the theater. On one side, I had Cam and Julie, and on the other, Paige and Abby.
Eventually, the MC came on stage. After welcoming us all to the theater and cracking some terrible jokes, he introduced the films and filmmakers on the large screen set up for the occasion. When Cam and Julie’s names were announced, they got up and did a little wave. We all cheered for them, to the annoyance of a few other serious-looking audience members, but neither Cam nor Julie got upset. They were living for it.
“You’re like superstars now,” Paige said.
“Maybe one day!” Julie said, leaving a gentle kiss on Cam’s forehead.
The lights dimmed, and we watched the movies in silence. There were three of them before ours. The first was a story about a trans woman, told at different stages of her life. From childhood to teenage years, adulthood, and then senior years. It was apparently based on her real life. I had to admit I cried a little at the last scenes where she and her partner walked together on a beach, holding hands.
The second one was funny. A little comedy like the ones from the old days, black and white, vintage silver screen, and silly music in the background. The movie makers themselves played the clowns, bumping into trashcans, and falling in the middle of traffic. In the end, two of the clown girls reached for the same dirty napkin to clean a mess they made in a fast food store. The music suddenly changed to a romantic song, and they kissed, forgetting about all the mess.
I couldn’t understand the third one. It was tedious and too long, the dialogue kind of creepy and incoherent. But I guess they were trying to go for a gothic gay aesthetic in the forest.
And then, it was our turn.
“This is so exciting,” Paige said in a whisper.
The first scene started with two boys playing ball in an empty soccer field. They played around, had fun, hugged each other, and laughed. After a few minutes, the camera cut to a middle-aged woman looking at herself in the mirror. I recognized her as Cam’s mother. She changed clothes many times, took selfies on her phone, and the scene ended with a close-up of her smile.
Then it was our turn. Abby and I walked hand in hand, the camera panned on our smiles and the shy look in our eyes. We played together on the swi
ng set, and then we were sitting on the bench, heads close to each other. The camera focused on our intertwined hands.
My heart was skyrocketing inside my chest. I thought back to those days, to being close to Abby like this, her warm body, and the comfort of having her around. I barely paid attention to the last scene, where a large family had a birthday party for a little boy. I was extremely aware of Abby sitting only two seats away from me.
The image of our eyes kept coming back to my mind. We looked like a real couple on the screen.
How much did we fake, and how much did we really feel for each other? I was so caught up in my own worries about being deported I didn’t notice Abby and I had been getting closer than we expected. There I was always waiting for my moment to live a love story, and I didn’t notice I was living it all along until it was over.
I zoned out for the rest of the short movies.
Once they were done, the lights came on again, and we slowly made our way outside.
“That was really good. Congratulations, guys!” Paige said.
We all hugged Cam and Julie, telling them what an amazing job they did. I felt proud of them for getting so far with their story. They did deserve all of this. I thought it was the best work they had done so far.
“Now I need to go to the bathroom!” Julie said with a laugh.
As we made our way to the bathroom, Abby lagged behind, seemingly lost in thought. The pens inside my backpack poked me again, and I felt a sudden burst of courage. I tapped Abby on the shoulder and she turned around.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I said.
Abby nodded, and I led her over to a more distant part of the hall. The others didn’t seem to notice we were left behind or else decided to give us space.
I looked at Abby, opening and closing my mouth a few times like a fish out of water. She was so beautiful today. No more beanies; we were in the middle of summer, after all. But she was still just as stunning. When I looked up at her brown eyes, everything else paled in comparison.
I missed her. It was kind of ridiculous how much I did.
“I forgot to give you something,” I said, awkwardly turning my backpack in my arms and taking the pen collection out of it. “Cam and Julie helped me buy it. It’s like a payment for your help and a late Christmas gift that I owe you.”
Abby smiled, taking the box in her hands. Her eyes were shining under the hall lights. “I’ve been looking for this set for ages! It’s really rare. How did you even find it?
I shrugged. “Did a lot of digging.”
“Thank you.”
Abby held the gift against her chest and smiled at me, eyes back on mine. My heart burst inside my chest, relieved she didn’t think it was a silly gesture. She bit her lip, and I realized we were both just as nervous.
“I know this probably sounds like nonsense to you, but I don’t regret the time we had together,” she said. “It wasn’t only me trying to help out because of my silly noble reasons. I liked doing it because I actually liked being around you.”
“It’s not nonsense at all. I never regretted a moment of it either.”
“Really?” Abby sounded so small and unsure. I hated making her feel that way.
“Abby, I like you. I’m not faking this right now,” I said, and there it was. Laid out in simple words. By the way Abby’s eyes widened, I had a feeling she understood the hidden meaning.
We were moving closer together then.
“I like you too, Dora,” Abby said in a serious tone. “I think some days when we were together I even forgot it was supposed to be fake.”
I felt a warm hand on my arm and looked down to see Abby stroking it gently. It was new and scary and different from everything else we had so far. There was no more pressure from an obligation hanging over us or elaborate schemes keeping us together. We were merely two girls getting to know each other. Once I realized that, I could finally see Abby as someone I was genuinely interested in.
When I looked up, Abby’s face was inches from mine. She stared at my lips, and then I was lost.
We moved together, eyes closing and lips meeting in the middle. The kiss was chaste and short but turned my brain into pure fluff. When we moved away, I opened my eyes to see a blushing, smiling Abby gazing back at me.
“Hello, I’m Abby,” she said in a teasing voice.
I bit my lip, getting into her game.
“I’m Dora,” I said.
Abby offered me her hand, and I shook it with mine.
“Want to start this all over again? For real this time?” she asked, eyes shy.
“Yes. What do you suggest?”
“Going slow? No marriage proposals after the second date would be nice.”
“Maybe this time we’ll wait until at least our third date,” I said as a joke.
We laughed at that.
“Let’s get to know each other. This time, just for us,” she said.
“It’ll be a pleasure to finally get to know you, Abigail.”
Acknowledgements
More than a year ago when I wrote this novella, I had no idea I’d be living in Canada and that so much of Dora’s life would be mine. I certainly didn’t fake date anyone, but I’ve been in places she’s been, and I’ve met people who reminded me of the people in this story. It’s always funny to see how my books end up reflecting my own life.
I’m so grateful for my family and friends who always support my writing and who are now supporting my new dreams in this new life I’m leading. I wouldn’t be able to do anything without their love.
Thank you to all my Canadian friends who became my new queer found family in these last months. You make my life so much easier and brighter just by being by my side. Shelby, Cindy, you two are my real angels on this earth. Thank you to my best friends who are cheering me up from miles away now in Brazil.
KT, thank you for being my Canadian girl, my person, my best friend. You are my favorite unexpected gift.
And thank you to all my readers who keep encouraging me to work on my stories and believing in me.
About the Author
M. Hollis is a Brazilian writer working on stories about women who love other women while also running Bibliosapphic, a blog dedicated to sapphic literature. In her free time, you will always find her baking, reading fanfiction and binge-watching too many TV shows. Currently, she is living her best gay life in Canada and writing more than she sleeps.
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @_mhollis
Website: www.mariahollis.wordpress.com
Other books by this author
“The Hunt” within Into the Mystic, Volume Three
Also Available from NineStar Press
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