by Amy Clipston
“Danki.” Mark started pacing as Yonnie’s cruel tirade rang again in his mind. “I just can’t get over the words he used toward her. Priscilla is wunderbaar, and she doesn’t deserve to be spoken to like that.” He stopped pacing and looked at Allen. “She said she wanted to leave me because she’s ruining my life. I don’t understand it. Why would she think that?”
“Did you ask her why?” Allen sat down on a stool.
Mark began to pace again. He felt as if his insides were tied up in knots. He shook his head, and then it hit him like a bolt of lightning. “I’m in love with her. The idea of her leaving me makes me physically ill.”
Allen smiled. “It’s been obvious to all of us that you two are in love. In fact, Laura and I were just discussing that on our way home from Jamie’s haus tonight. I know the truth about why you married her. Laura told me.”
“She did?”
“Ya. She was really upset when we left Jamie’s haus earlier, and she needed someone to talk to. She told me everything during the ride home since Mollie was asleep in the back of the buggy. It really upset her when Priscilla cried while she held Alice. She said she hoped you and Priscilla would realize how much you love each other and work it out. I’m glad you finally realize you love Priscilla.” Allen pointed toward the house. “Now you need to go tell her how you feel, and she’ll realize that she doesn’t need to leave you. In fact, she’ll want to stay.”
“Danki for letting us stay here,” Priscilla said as she closed the door to the sewing room where Ethan was asleep on the sofa. “I appreciate it.”
“Of course.” Laura hugged her. “I’m so sorry your dat was cruel to you.”
“Danki.” Priscilla took a deep breath. “I thought leaving Mark was the best solution, but Mark was the one who saved me. He got me away from mei dat.”
“So that’s why you left when we were eighteen.” Laura shook her head. “Why didn’t you tell Savilla and me what you were going through at home?”
Priscilla shrugged. “I guess I was embarrassed. I didn’t want you to know since you and Savilla both had loving and supportive fathers.”
Laura took Priscilla’s hand and steered her to the spare room. “I set this room up for Cindy. She borrows Roy’s horse and buggy to come visit me, and sometimes we talk late into the night. I ask her to stay instead of going home in the dark. This room will be perfect for you and Mark.”
“Danki.” Priscilla stared at the double bed, and her heart seemed to stutter before dropping to the pit of her stomach. There wasn’t room on Ethan’s sofa for her tonight. She and Mark would have to stay together for the first time since they were married.
Laura squeezed Priscilla’s arm. “We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay? You just get some rest.” She started for the door and then turned and faced her. “Mei bruder loves you. Just give him a chance to tell you how he feels, okay?”
“Okay,” Priscilla said, making a promise. She had to know if her friend was right.
Laura slipped out the door, and Priscilla sank onto the corner of the bed. She was confused but also relieved that Mark had taken her away from her father. Now she had to figure out what would happen next.
Soon after, she heard footsteps on the stairs and muffled voices in the hallway. Then a soft knock sounded on the door.
“Come in,” she said as she stood.
Mark stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. He walked over to her, and his blue eyes glistened in the warm glow of the lantern on the dresser. “Can we talk?”
“Ya.” The muscles in her shoulders tensed.
“Where were you going to go tonight?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I went to see mei mamm to ask if I could borrow money from her. I wanted to find a little apartment to rent for Ethan and me. I thought I could get a job working as a waitress or seamstress and then I’d pay her back.”
“What did I do to push you away?”
“You didn’t push me away. You’ve been nothing but kind and supportive to Ethan and me.” Her voice thinned. “But you deserve so much better than me. I’m damaged.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I am.” Fresh tears formed in her eyes. “And then when I held Alice tonight, I realized I can’t stand to live in a loveless marriage. If I can’t have a true marriage with you, then I’d rather be alone. It’s torture to be with you but not have all of you, not have your whole heart.”
“That’s just it, Priscilla.” He cupped her cheeks with his hands. “You do have my whole heart. I love you. I’ve loved you for months, but I didn’t realize it right away. I didn’t know what love was until I had a chance to get to know you.”
The tears escaped down her cheeks.
“I love you too,” she whispered. “I didn’t know what love could be like before you. When I met Trent, I was looking for someone to love me, but that wasn’t love. You make me feel strong and protected.”
“Please don’t leave me. I can’t stand the idea of losing you and Ethan after all we’ve been through.” His eyes searched hers. “I’ll make things right. We’ll find a haus to rent until I can build you one on mei dat’s farm. I’ll work for mei dat. We’ll make a life somehow. Give me a chance to show you.”
“But what about mei dat‘s land and his business?”
Mark shook his head. “None of that matters without you. I don’t care where we live. I just want to be with you and Ethan. I want to be a family. God chose you for me, and God never makes mistakes. You’re my life. You’re my future.”
He leaned down, and as his lips brushed hers, what felt like an electric current roared through her veins. She closed her eyes, and as she allowed his lips to explore hers, her entire body relaxed. He wrapped his arms around her, and she lost herself in the feel of his touch. This was what true love felt like.
When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes. “I’ve been dying to do that for months.”
“For months?” she asked.
“Ya.” He grinned. “Ever since you said I had eager maed who followed me around.”
They both laughed.
“Will you give me a chance to show you I can be a real husband?” he asked, his eyes pleading with hers.
“Ya,” she said. “I’m so grateful God sent me back here. I’ve been begging him to show me where I belonged, and he led me straight to you. I thought I had to leave this community to find happiness, but now I realize my heart has always been here. I’m supposed to be a member of the church, and I’m supposed to be your fraa. It doesn’t matter where we live. I just want to be with you.”
Mark wrapped his arms around her waist, and Priscilla’s breath hitched in her lungs as his lips met hers again. She looped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer. He deepened the kiss, and it lit a fire inside her, turning her bones to ash. She closed her eyes and savored the feel of his mouth against hers.
Yes. This is where I belong—here with Mark. This is my true home.
THIRTY
THE NEXT MORNING PRISCILLA CARRIED A PLATTER to Laura’s kitchen table and then sat down beside Mark. She smiled at Ethan. He was sitting beside Mollie on the other side of the table.
“I think that’s everything,” Laura said. “Let’s pray.”
They bowed their heads in silent prayer and then began filling their plates with eggs, bacon, home fried potatoes, and rolls.
“Have you given my idea any thought?” Allen asked Mark.
“What idea?” Laura divided a look between them.
“I asked Mark if he wanted to come work for me. You know my business has been growing, and I could use a partner.”
“Really?” Priscilla turned to Mark. “Are you going to do it?”
“I’ll think about it.” Mark picked up a piece of bacon. “I appreciate the offer, but right now I need to find a haus.”
“No, you don’t.” Laura shook her head. “We have plenty of room here. We’ll put a twin-size bed in the sewing roo
m for Ethan. Mollie has her own room, and we have room for the boppli.”
“Mei schweschder.” Mollie sat up straight and lifted her chin. “I know she’s a girl.”
Priscilla grinned as she turned to Laura. “Are you having a girl?”
“I don’t know.” Laura shrugged. “I guess we’ll see.”
A knock sounded on the back door, and Allen rose. “Are you expecting anyone?”
“No.” Laura shook her head.
Allen disappeared into the mudroom while everyone continued to eat. He returned a few moments later with Priscilla’s father walking behind him.
Priscilla swallowed a gasp. She looked at Mark, whose face had transformed into a deep frown.
“Yonnie,” Mark said as he stood. “What are you doing here?”
“I want to talk to you and Priscilla. Please.” Dat held up his hand. “I’m here to apologize.”
Laura gestured toward the family room. “Why don’t you go in there so you have some privacy?”
Mark looked at Priscilla as if asking permission, and she nodded. “Okay.”
Priscilla stood, and Mark threaded his fingers with hers. The simple gesture of affection filled her with strength as she walked with Mark into the family room.
“What do you want to say?” Mark stood in front of her father with his head held high.
“I want to apologize . . . for everything.”
Priscilla blinked and then shook her head. This was too good to be true.
“Why the sudden change in your demeanor?” Mark asked.
Dat’s expression clouded. “After you left last night, I remembered a Scripture verse the bishop gave a sermon on recently. It’s Colossians 3:12. ‘Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.’ I couldn’t get it out of my head last night.”
Priscilla’s eyes watered as Mark gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
“Edna made me realize how terrible I’ve been all these years. She’s been trying to tell me since Priscilla was a little girl, but I never listened.” His dark eyes filled with tears. “Mei dat was tough on mei bruders and me. I always resented how he treated me, but I realize now I’ve become just as terrible as he was—if not worse.”
He turned toward Priscilla. “You told me you thought I was disappointed in you because you weren’t a bu. And now you might think I was hard on you because mei daed was hard on me. But the truth is when we learned your mother and I couldn’t have more kinner, I was hard on you for one reason: to prove I could raise my only kind to be the model community member mei daed never thought I was. In the end, I was wrong, so very wrong.”
He peered into Priscilla’s eyes with a look of contrition she’d never seen.
“I’ve always been too tough on you, Priscilla. I realize now that I wasn’t loving. I never guided you. I only criticized you. I wasn’t the daed you needed or deserved, and I’m so very truly sorry. If only I could go back in time and fix everything, but I know I can’t. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I pushed you away eight years ago, and last night I did it again. I was wrong to call you that cruel name. Please forgive me and come back to the farm. You belong there, and you’ve earned my horse business. I want to give it to family, and you’re my only family.”
“I forgive you,” she said, her voice stronger than she’d hoped. “But it’s too late for you to apologize. I can’t go back there. I’ve moved on, and you should too. Mark and I have decided to find a haus to rent, or we might stay here. He’s thinking about working with Allen.”
With one hand still entwined with Mark ‘s, she placed her other hand on his forearm. Her husband’s strength gave her courage and kept her from breaking apart.
“Please.” Dat looked between them. “I want you to come back. I will do better. I will be the daed you deserve and the daadi Ethan deserves.”
“You say that now,” Mark began, “but how do we know you won’t lose your temper and begin to call Priscilla cruel names again? The name you called her should never be used to describe someone’s dochder. It was inexcusable. Priscilla doesn’t deserve to be treated that way, and you’re not the example I want for Ethan.”
“You’re right.” Dat nodded, his expression forlorn. “But I promise I’ll do better. I will think before I speak.”
Mark turned to Priscilla. “What do you want?”
“I don’t want to go back there, but I want you to be froh,” she said. “Do you want my father’s business? Do you want to live on the farm?”
“I’ve already told you I don’t care where we live as long as I have you and Ethan with me.”
“Let’s stick with our plan.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
“Fine.” Mark looked over at Dat. “I can’t take the chance of your verbally abusing Priscilla any longer. We’re going to stay here.”
Dat’s eyes misted over. “You won’t come back home?”
Mark shook his head and then nodded toward the doorway. “I think you should leave now.”
Dat hesitated and then gave a curt nod before walking out of the house.
Priscilla looked up at Mark as panic stirred in her belly. “What did we just do?”
The look in Mark’s eyes comforted her as he touched her cheek. “We stood up for what was right. When I married you, I promised to protect you and Ethan, and that’s just what I plan to do.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. “Let’s go finish our breakfast, and then I’ll talk to Allen about working for him.”
As Mark steered her back into the kitchen, a calmness settled over Priscilla. She suddenly knew to the very depth of her being that somehow everything would turn out just fine as long as she and Ethan had Mark by their side.
“Mamm!” Priscilla hurried over to her mother a week later as she gathered with the other women in the Bontrager family’s kitchen before the church service. “How are you?”
“I’m fine.” Mamm’s eyes sparkled with tears as she pulled her into her arms for a hug. “How are you?”
“We’re doing okay.” Priscilla nodded. “Mark is working for Allen, and we’ll look for a haus to rent unless we decide to stay at Laura and Allen’s for now.”
“How are things between you and Mark?”
Priscilla tried in vain to suppress a smile. “Really gut. I’ve never been so froh in my life. He loves me, and he’s such a gut father to Ethan.”
“I’m so glad. I knew it would work out between you two. I could see how much he loved you before you realized it.” Mamm dabbed her eyes with a tissue she took from her apron. “How’s Ethan?”
Priscilla shrugged. “He’s doing well. He and Mollie get along great, but he misses you and Dat.”
“We miss all three of you. Our home feels so empty and incomplete without you and your family. I keep expecting Ethan to walk into the kitchen and tell me about his day at school.” Mamm wiped away an errant tear, and an intense sympathy for her mother caught Priscilla off guard. She hadn’t realized just how much the result of Dat’s hateful words had changed her world.
“Your dat feels terrible about what he said. I’ve been telling him for years that he was too critical of you, and that he said things that were cruel. He finally realizes how wrong he was.”
Mamm cleared her throat. “Would you consider coming home? Your dat and I want you and Ethan to come back. We miss you so much.” She folded her hands as if she were praying. “Your dat has promised me that if you come back, he’ll do his best to make you feel welcome. He’ll show you that he regrets all the years he hurt you. He’ll make up for it.”
Priscilla swallowed back a knot of emotion that threatened to choke her. “I appreciate all you said to him and how you finally made him realize how wrong he was. But Mark won’t take the chance that Dat will hurt me again. He also doesn’t want Ethan to hear Dat’s cruel words.”
“I understand.” Mamm paused. “But we also need you. Your dat is getting older, and he can’t handle t
he work on his own. He wants to hire someone, but he’d rather have Mark. He really admires Mark, and he wants to leave the farm to Ethan and the rest of your kinner if you and Mark have more.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Priscilla shook her head. “Mark doesn’t want to come back.”
“Why don’t you think about it?” Mamm touched Priscilla’s arm. “Tell Mark your dat needs his help, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get all of you back home with us on the farm.”
“All right. I’ll talk to Mark tonight,” Priscilla said, willing to make the promise.
Later that evening Priscilla climbed into bed beside Mark. She snuggled down under the covers, and Mark wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.
“Are you going to tell me what’s been on your mind all afternoon? Or do I have to guess?” Mark’s voice in her ear sent a shiver dancing down her back.
“Why don’t you guess?” She grinned.
“Let’s see,” he began. “You’re wondering how you managed to snag yourself such a handsome husband.”
She laughed. “Not even close.”
“Okay. You’re trying to figure out the best gift to get me for Christmas.”
She chuckled. “Nope. That’s not it either.”
“All right. I give up.” He released her, and she turned toward him. The soft yellow glow of the lantern complemented his chiseled face.
“It’s actually serious.”
“Uh-oh.” His smile faded. “What is it?”
“I talked to mei mamm today before church. She wants us to come back to the farm.”
His handsome face clouded. “No.”
“Just listen for a minute.” She sat up, leaning her back against the headboard. “She said mei dat wants us back. He needs your help with the farm. He also wants to leave the farm to Ethan and any kinner we might have in the future.”
Mark propped himself up with a pillow. “What do you want to do?”
She shook her head as confusion filled her. “I don’t know. Part of me wants to go back. Laura is going to have her boppli anytime now, and they don’t need extra people in their haus.”