It began with the booking of Daniel’s family church. It was too late to change the date when it was realized that the funeral of the church founder, Mr. Willie Morri was also scheduled on the same day in the chapel. Mr. Morri was considered by many in the church to be a kind of celebrity. Several Atlanta dignitaries showed up to pay their respect which resulted in security, lots of limos and people needing to be redirected to the funeral upstairs, which was not to be confused with the wedding downstairs.
Iris, Daniel’s oldest sister who truly favored Rasputia Latimore, had made the uncomfortable wedding arrangements. She wasn’t an attractive woman and she had given birth to six equally unattractive daughters that could have been the starting line up to a pro basketball team. Iris had a thick mustache that she groomed, waxed and shaped. Her daughters also carried the same trait.
The pastor, who was working on an addition to the church, was charging a chunk of change which was to be contributed to the building fund, saw no reason to change the date, since Iris had already sent out all of the invitations. With a few adjustments and a call to the party rental store, both events were scheduled at Christ Chapel Baptist Church. The celebration for the end of a life for Mr. Willie Morri’s took place in the chapel upstairs as the merriment of a new life together began downstairs. This is what led to the wedding being held in a tent.
Outside.
In July.
In Georgia.
Fortunately, the reception was held inside of the basement of the church, but the people from Mr. Morri’s funeral kept sneaking in trying to get food and wedding cake. The kids, Darlene was uncertain which children belonged to which sister, maintained a vigilant watch on the stairwell, yelling, Go on git now! each time someone tried to descend the stairwell. A few of the interlopers were even more direct, by being straight forward asking for someone to save them a small slice of cake.
Petunia Daniel’s sister who was the second oldest and suffered from diabetes, made the wedding cake. Darlene learned about Petunia’s diabetes right after the woman passed out on the floor of the church kitchen because she would add a little frosting to the cake then eat a little frosting. Actually she ate a lot of frosting, almost half of the bowl which spiked her blood sugar making her collapse.
Daniel remained cool about all of it as he sat with his arm draped over the back of Darlene’s chair like a king being entertained by his kingdom. His legs were crossed in his white rented tuxedo and white patent leather shoes, as he sat waving to relatives as they walked by him and his beautiful new wife. As his family paraded by in colorful outfits, each would address him as if he was some form of a celebrity.
“What’s up Unc?”
“How you doing nephew?” he would respond.
A cute young teen girl passed by, “Hey Uncle Daniel, you look so handsome.”
“Thank you Cutie Pie Niece Face,” he said to her. He said the same thing to every one of his nieces that came over to speak to him and give him hugs. The man also greeted each nephew the same way.
“You have no idea what their names are do you?” Darlene asked.
“Nope,” he said with a smile. “I lost that ability after the first ten. Now, the older ones are having babies so I don’t even bother.”
“How am I supposed to learn their names if you don’t know who is who?”
He gave her a big grin. “That’s easy.” A small girl, about seven or eight years old walked past them. “Come here little Cutie Pie Niece Face,” he told her.
“Yes Uncle Daniel? You look like a prince in that white suit,” she told him. She was cute as a button in a little pink dress and the start of her very own little mini mustache. The Wilstrom’s were truly a hair clan.
“Would you like to help with me a very special job?”
Her little head bobbed up and down. “Yes, yes, yes!” She told him as she bounced on her tiny toes in her shiny white patent leather shoes.
“I need you to get all of your brothers, sisters and cousins to come over a take a selfie with your brand new aunt,” he told her.
Her little hands were outstretched with the palms up as she shrugged her tiny shoulders, “But I don’t have a camera Uncle Daniel!”
“I am going to let you use my phone,” he told her. For some reason this must have been the key which opened the magic door. The little angel took off running to the left, then she doubled back to the right and finally stopped in the middle of the floor adding a blood curdling scream at the top of her lungs. Everyone in the room turned around. She had garnered the family’s attention.
“We are going to do selfies with Princess Aunt Darlene so she can learn our names!” the little girl screamed.
It worked like a charm. An entire swarm of teens and people she didn’t know lined up to take pictures with her. She also understood perfectly what Daniel was saying; after ten of them, she gave up on the names after the first seven. Some were named after flowers, some plants, there was even a girl named Thistle. While she was distracted, the big named Hollywood actress, Angie Chihuahua walked into the church basement. A cloud of perfume, a mound of hair, and two tons of attitude arrived before the sexy bombshell even made it into the room. Daniel’s son, who was on the other side of the room taking selfies, not with anyone, just of himself in various poses, took a break from admiring the levels of his handsomeness, to greet his mother.
Violet, the sister who was a year younger than Daniel, took offense to Angie’s presence and made of point of telling her so. “Why are you here? To see my brother actually marry a woman with a heart?”
“She may have a heart, but does she have a brain? I know he has sold her on that sappy idea of a country store in the middle of mountain country in the ass crack of Montana or some crap,” Angie said in a huff.
This also offended Violet. “I should knock your teeth out again like I did when we were twelve. Your uppity butt needs to go over in a corner somewhere and google that woman,” she snapped.
“I tell you Daffodil,” Angie told her, intentionally mocking her name, “Every time I come back to Atlanta, I am amazed at how ugly you continue to get each time I see you. Did the man who knocked you up with his wolf cub ever marry you?” This was said with a toss of the mane of weave that sat upon her head.
“Why are you even here? He didn’t invite you and I know no one in this family wants you at this wedding,” Violet yelled again.
Violet’s son, who did in fact look like a darker version of Eddie Munster, ran to her side. “Everythang okay Momma?”
Angie burst into laughter at the sight of the hairy young man which made Violet charge at her, only to be caught midair by Daniel Jr. “Calm down Auntie V, you and my mama aren’t going to solve anything today.”
This tiff was brought to an abrupt halt as Daniel began to cough. Darlene ran to his side as his right eye began to twitch and his top lip began to quiver involuntarily.
“Daniel, my God, what is wrong,” she asked as she bent to his side.
“Nuts,” he said as he pointed at the cake on the plate in front of him.
Violet, eyes wide, stormed over, pink taffeta rustling as she walked to the table, belted over the gathering crowd, “Petunia, did you put nuts in the wedding cake?”
“No,” Petunia yelled back. “I used almonds.”
Gardenia hearing this ran from the back of the room. “I will get my medical bag,” she called. No one was certain why she kept a medical bag since she wasn’t a doctor or even in the medical field. She kept it with her at all times and it was always fully stocked with the perfect medicine for any occasion.
“Petunia you numbskull, almonds are nuts and he is allergic to nuts!” Violet yelled back.
Daniel’s eyes were closing, his tongue was swelling and Angie bolted forward putting on her best acting skills. She kicked off her shoes like she was about to dive into the Chattahoochee River and swim to his rescue.
“He needs mouth to mouth,” she yelled as she ran towards him. This, Daniel wanted no part of as h
e raised his leg and caught her in the mid-section bringing her to an abrupt stop. This did not slow her efforts as she pushed against his leg like she was a doing an airplane ride on his foot.
“No...top...top...make ther top,” he tried to say. His tongue was swelling fast and he was losing the ability to speak. This was followed by an involuntary twitching as Angie tried to climb on top of him and give him mouth to mouth. Again.
“Thombody get her off o’ me,” he mumbled.
Gardenia had returned with a black medical bag and pulled out an EpiPen. “Stand back everyone,” she screamed. She peeled back the wrapper, opened the cap and jammed the needle into his leg.
“Thear Gawwwd,” he cried out.
Darlene, in a $2,000 white Vera Wang gown, pushed everyone aside, especially Angie, and dropped to the floor. She held her husband’s head in her lap, looking down at him with loving eyes and whispering encouraging words. “It’s going to be okay baby, just relax, relax,” she said with soft words.
He was whispering something as she lowered her head, with her ear to his mouth. Darlene asked, “What are you saying sweetie, I can’t hear you.”
Daniel swallowed hard, “I tink I teed on mytelf.”
That did it for Darlene. It was officially the worse and most hilarious disaster of a wedding she had ever been to and it was her own. She started to laugh. She tried sadly, to use the train of her gown to cover his lap which was obviously wet in the white pants and showing way too much of his assets. She laughed so hard that she leaned forward and whispered in his ear. She told him, “I laughed so hard until I just peed on myself too!”
James and Roosevelt had been in the corner watching the whole thing. Neither moved from their spots as plates of fatty foods were placed before them with too sweet iced tea to wash it down. Several of Daniel’s relatives snapped photos with them and both men agreed that those were some of the hairiest women they had ever seen in their lives. This was also the reason Krysten had not made the wedding. She opened a file on his sisters and relatives. After seeing many of their photos she called Darlene three weeks prior to the wedding to tell her the news.
“Gurl, even I ain’t that horny! Those are some hairy, unattractive women,” she told her friend. True to her word, she sent a gift but did not show up.
Her brothers would have lots of stories to share with Krysten. Their heads moved slowly as their eyes scanned from one end of the room to the next as they watched the scores of children, the bevy of cousins, over to the crazy ex slash movie actress and back to their brother-in-law peeing on himself in the middle the floor as he was rescued from anaphylactic shock.
Roosevelt asked James, “Can you imagine what Thanksgiving will be like?”
“I sure as hell plan to find out. This is like watching a bad movie scene,” James said.
“Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Heck yeah! It is whole lot more entertaining than her first wedding,” James added. “The only thing that happened at the one was some dude dropped a shrimp on his necktie!” He looked at Roosevelt. “What about you. You having fun?”
He chuckled, showing a perfect set of white teeth. “This is hilarious! It’s so funny, I can’t even laugh. I am just sitting here with my mouth open.”
One thing was certain, if this was how the marriage was going to start, their sister was bound to have a very different life with Daniel Wilstrom than she ever had with George Patterson. Her cheeks were rosy and her face was aglow as she sat in the middle of the floor holding his head. They were laughing and looked happy although the man was in the throes of a medical emergency.
Darlene deserved a different life.
She deserved a chance at something different.
Daniel Wilstrom was going to give it to her.
Chapter Sixteen – Day Break
The one thing Daniel was unable to give Darlene was a wedding night. He was too sick to really do much of anything. Since Krysten had been unwilling to attend the wedding, as a gift to the couple she booked a suite for their wedding night at the Ritz Carlton. A hot shower and two antihistamine tablets later, her six foot tall groom was out for the count. His face was rather peaceful as he rested in the bed. The covers haphazardly thrown across his abdomen showing off his hairy chest. One muscled leg was uncovered and she could not help herself, she had to take a peek. She moved closer to the bed and gently tugged at the covers until she was able to see his feet.
Thank God!
His feet were neatly groomed. His toe nails were clipped and there wasn’t a year’s worth of boot callouses with layers of dry crusted skin around his ankles or heels. A sly smiled crept to the corners of her mouth as she covered his foot and went into the other room to undress. Had he possessed bear claws for feet, she was going to make an appointment for him in the spa before they hit the road in the morning. There were many things she could tolerate, but having her legs scratched up by Yeti feet wasn’t one of them. Another was having to vacuum dead cells and flaky skin out of the bed each morning. She shuddered at the thought.
A slight shiver ran down her back as she grabbed a room key and headed to the business center. In her vehicle she had maps, a GPS, and other things she wanted to see as they made the 23 hour drive to Wyoming. One thing she definitely wanted was to stop and shop was in Paducah, Kentucky. The vehicle was lightly loaded with a small suitcase for each of them so plenty of room was available in the vehicle for what she intended to buy. After she emptied the house, she really didn’t want anything from it other than the little bowl Daniel had spotted in the living room. It took nearly a month and a half to get rid of all the stuff, but her brothers had taken a good amount of the furniture and art work. Other pieces she put on loan to the local museum in George’s name. She made a point of returning anything that belonged to George’s family to his brother and sister. Both of whom were very happy to see her out but shocked, if not dismayed that she was remarrying and moving so far away.
“Are you sure about this?” Caroline Patterson Mulroney, George’s sister wanted to know.
“Very sure,” she told her as she handed her the silver platters which belonged Grandmother Patterson. His brother, Thomas asked the same question when she took him all of George’s tools. Yet as she returned from the business center of the hotel with maps and points of interest in her hands, she wasn’t very sure if she was really ready to share Daniel’s bed. This became evident when she put on her wedding night gown and pulled back the covers to slide into the bed with him. He slept soundly, didn’t snore or snort from what she had seen.
Gently, she placed her right hip on the mattress, her eyes on him, afraid to poke the sleeping bear because it would wake up and want to poke her back. Her palms were sweaty as she slipped her right leg onto the bed laying back staring at the dark ceiling. Daniel exhaled loudly as he turned over, she could feel the warmth of his breath on her as she pulled the covers up over her body until they rested under her chin.
This is silly. He is my husband.
Lying next to him a bout of fear ran through her.
What was I thinking? This giant man will split me into.
She flung back the covers and ran into the living room, grabbing the extra blanket and pillow from the cabinet. Darlene rolled her body in the light weight covering and in time, with some effort, she fell asleep.
In the other room, Daniel had awakened the moment she came back into the hotel room. His body craved the warmth of his wife, but her movements were too tentative for him to reach for her. A simple satisfaction of holding her while she slept would have worked for him as well, but she wasn’t ready to be intimate with him.
I will wait for a little while; give her a chance to get moved in and get settled. Let her come to me...when she thinks she is ready.
I just hope it isn’t too long.
At 7:15 sharp, a knock was heard at the hotel door. Daniel was up and dressed making his way to the door, glancing over to ensure she was covered. He peered through the peephole to see a roo
m service attendant.
“Good morning,” the attendant said. “I have your breakfast order.”
“Come on in and put it on the table,” he told the young man as he located his wallet to give him a tip. “Thank you,” he said to the bellhop who tapped the brim of his hat and left quietly.
Darlene had struggled to sit up on the couch, her hair plastered to the side of her face. “Morning Mrs. Wilstrom,” he said as he walked past her into the bedroom. He returned seconds later with the robe that matched her night gown.
“Would you care for some coffee?” he asked with his back to her to give her some privacy as she covered the revealing gown.
“Good morning Daniel,” she said as she donned the robe.
“We have to make tracks today. It is every bit of 22 or 23 hours of drive time to get home. I am going to roll it hard all the way through St. Louis, and maybe on the outskirts we grab a room to slap about some shut eye, then I thunder it into Laramie so we can make it to the house by Sunday night,” he told her.
She sipped at the orange juice as she stood by the table eyeing the breakfast spread; she was famished. He pulled out her seat and adjusted it once she was seated. “Thank you,” she said as she made eye contact with him. Dang he is handsome. Rugged. Manly. She crossed her legs as she thought about what she missed with him last night.
“I was kind of hoping, we could roll it in real soft and gentle like, maybe stop in Paducah so I can pick up a few things, have a sumptuous dinner in St. Louis, rest peacefully at a sweet bed & breakfast, then playfully ease our way into Laramie, pick up Sheila D, then mosey it on home,” she said with eyebrows arched.
He was looking at her with an intensity that made her swallow hard. “You will find Darlene, that I am pretty flexible. It doesn’t matter if we go hard, soft or approach it playfully, either way, I am going to get you there,” said to her.
“Okay, watch yourself there park ranger,” she said as she licked her bottom lip.
Wyoming Nights Page 9