“How did you and David meet? Luke told me it was online.”
“Well, I kept going to church and started going to Sunday school, you know it’s for adults too, and they were teaching from the bible about how the husband is the head of his wife and it’s his duty to care for her and cherish her in all things. And the wife is to submit to her husband. It’s more poetic than that but I’m giving you the gist right?” Lila nodded.
“Anyway, I was very attracted to the idea of a man that wanted to care for his wife and family in that way. I was so head strong. I just knew I needed Jesus in my heart and a strong man by my side.” Lila smiled, remembering that classic Heather quote that Luke had shared with her. “And I needed a man that loved Jesus as much as I did. A lot of men say they love Jesus just to get into your panties. But I was looking for the real deal. I joined an internet dating site, and that’s where I found David. And let me tell you, he’s the real deal. Legit.”
“What about the spanking thing?” Lila’s cheeks were burning. She couldn’t believe that she was asking Heather such personal questions, but Heather was being so open and Lila knew she may not get a chance for another talk like this anytime soon.
“The spanking thing? Well, I guess my will is a little extra strong, and David just gives me a little encouragement in the right direction. You know, on my backside. What we do actually goes a lot more in depth than that. What we practice is called Domestic Discipline, but you definitely don’t need that element to have a healthy, balanced marriage.”
“Domestic Discipline. What is that?” Lila had never heard that term before.
“Girl, I would love to share that with you, but that is a topic for another day. I don’t want to scare you away just yet. Listen, if it feels good to let Luke be in charge, just follow your gut for a while. That’s a good place to start. And if he is spanking you,” she paused, looking knowingly at Lila, “and you like it, just know you aren’t a wacko and that its more common that you think. And if you ever want to know more about Jesus, you just ask me. Now let’s get back to that poor, invalid husband of yours.” And with that, Heather dumped her trash into the can and started talking a mile a minute about the latest fashions, not leaving any room for Lila to be embarrassed.
Lila peeked in the doorway to their bedroom. Luke was sleeping peacefully. She quietly pulled the door shut and headed downstairs to the kitchen to see if Grace needed help with making dinner. When she entered the kitchen, Lila was shocked to see Grace sobbing quietly over the sink.
“Grace, are you okay?” Lila went to her side and wrapped an arm around her, the gesture coming to her naturally, without thinking.
“Oh yes, sweetheart. I’m just a little overwhelmed by the circumstances and I guess it hit me when I was washing this corn. Silly, I know, but I was making Luke’s favorite meal. Which was also my husband’s favorite meal. I just miss him so much.” Grace dried her eyes on her apron.
“Grace, I’m so sorry. The pain never does go away, does it?” Lila thought of her parents who had died years ago in a tragic car crash. She was an only child, without a lot of extended family. She had an aunt that she was close with, but other than that, no other family members that she kept in touch with.
“That’s right honey, you are so tough I forget about your tragedy sometimes. But enough about that, how was your away time with Heather? Did you girls behave yourselves? Heather can get pretty rowdy.” Grace smiled as she wiped her hands on her apron and continued her work.
Lila knew that Grace was joking about them behaving, but she wanted to change the subject very quickly. There was no way she wanted to go anywhere near the topic of her and Heather’s talk at lunch with Grace.
“Great, thanks. Um, I need to tell you something,” Lila said nervously.
“What is it sweetheart?”
“When I was coming upstairs to talk to Luke this afternoon, I accidently overheard some of your conversation.” Grace’s eyes opened wide, looking alarmed. Lila quickly added, “about the house, and my job.”
“Oh,” Grace went back to peeling the leaves away from the golden corn, her hands shaking slightly. “Oh. Well, I just want to be sure that you know we have everything covered here. Luke is not going to be up for traveling for a while, and once he’s home, he would still need someone to help him until he’s fully recovered. Since I’m home all day, and his family is here, we thought you should go back to your job and let us get Luke back up and running.” She put down the corn and looked at Lila lovingly. “We’ve missed him, Lila, both of you. Let us help.”
Grace’s words were sweet and genuine but somehow, stung. Lila knew that Luke would be happier here with his whole family around, then to be sitting alone at their house while he recovered and she worked her long hours. Somehow, though, Grace saying that his family was here left Lila feeling unsettled.
Grace read the hurt on Lila’s face and quickly added, “You are his most important person Lila, we know that, but we want to do this for you. Please think about it. And as far as the house goes, my friend has offered to sign a month to month lease, if you both decide you want that. So, no worries there. Okay?”
Lila was feeling possessive about the little blue house and even jealous of the thought of someone else living in it first. And, although she couldn’t imagine leaving Luke, she did need to get back to work. She was so awash in different emotions; she was beginning to feel like she didn’t even know who she was anymore. Maybe it would be good to go back. Just for a few days, then head back to Grace’s for the weekend. “I’ll think about it.” Lila gave Grace a big hug, then went upstairs to see Luke.
“Hi, beautiful.” Lila was relieved to hear Luke’s voice as she quietly peeked around the door. She needed to have a conversation with him, and connect without any visitors or interruptions.
“Hi, handsome.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead, then carefully crawled into the bed next to him, on his good side.
“So, I talked to Heather. She told me that you gave her a little call, huh?” Lila said, smiling up at Luke.
Luke chuckled. “Yes, I should have given you a head’s up on that one. She’s like my big sister. I just wanted you to have a woman you could talk to out here. I know it must be overwhelming being surrounded by my family all of the time. Her and David have a strong marriage. I thought she might have some good advice for us.”
Lila rehashed her entire conversation with Heather, for Luke, not even leaving out the part about spanking and Domestic Discipline. Ever since those hours waiting by his hospital bed for him to speak, she had a strong desire to be more honest with her husband, and after the change in their marriage she felt even closer to him. It was like Luke had opened up another level of intimacy in their relationship. Luke listened intently, asking Lila questions about how different things made her feel, and she answered his questions openly.
“Honestly, Luke, I’m just so confused right now. I talked to your Mom and I think it would be good for me to go home, just for a week. I hate to leave you, but if you are really okay with it, I think it would be healthy for me to have some time to think.”
“I want you to get back to your job, Lila. I’ll miss you, but it’s been so hectic here and with everything going on I’ve been really worried about you. And I hate that you are missing an extra week of work because of me.”
“Oh, Luke, I don’t care about that. I haven’t wanted to leave your side for a minute, you know that.”
“Haven’t you missed your job?” Luke asked gently, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Lila thought for a moment, worrying a corner of the quilt back and forth between her fingers. “Surprisingly, not like I thought I would. I mean, it crosses my mind, and if Cecelia wasn’t so great at it, I’m sure I would go crazy with worry. But on the whole, no.”
Luke tightened his arm around her. “Lila, ever since I was trapped in that hospital, I have been wanting to apologize. I wanted to be the Head of the Household, and I bought a house without
even asking you. Then I try to turn my daydream of living here and having kids into some kind of reality without even stopping to think if it was something you wanted. I got carried away. I’ll get a renter in place and as soon as I am better, I am coming home and things are going back to the way they were. Can you forgive me?”
Whoa. Back to the way they were? Lila definitely didn’t want that. She loved their new dynamic. Before Luke got hurt, she had never felt happier. She loved the change she had seen in Luke, since he had “taken the reins.” And, as far as the house, Lila would have told him to buy it if he had asked her, even if it was just as an investment. He had always supported her dreams and she would do the same for him.
“Lila?” Luke’s worried tone jarred her out of her tornado of thoughts.
She looked up at him, “Luke, there is nothing to forgive. We just need to give everything some time to settle down. I love that you bought your parents first house. I just don’t know if I’m ready to live in it. And, I like you as the, you know, Head of the Household.” Lila leaned up and kissed Luke, and he passionately reciprocated.
“Me too, Lila, me too,” he said as he playfully patted her on the bottom.
Chapter 9
The next week flew by. Lila barely ate any meals with all of the work that she was catching up on. Cecelia brought her sandwiches and salads but they remained half eaten on her desk. She drank pots of black coffee throughout the day to keep her awake for the late nights she was pulling in the office. There was a big deadline and she was enjoying getting back into the fast pace.
She hated to admit it but her beautiful house felt stark and lonely after being in the warm embrace of Grace’s cabin and family. She was working more hours than she needed to, partly to avoid the dark, quiet house. She would pull into her driveway well after midnight, rising at six am and grabbing coffee on the way back in to work. It was barely a home without Luke there, working on cars during the day and cooking with her in the evening.
By the time Friday evening came, Lila was too exhausted to make the drive. Luke completely understood, wishing her sweet dreams before they hung up.
Lila set her alarm for five am the next morning, to get an early start, and be at Grace’s before lunch. She was shocked when her ringing phone woke her up instead. “Oh, no.” Lila picked up the phone.
“Hello?” she answered, her voice scratchy with sleep.
“Hi, beautiful. Just seeing what time you’ll be getting in today.” Luke’s voice sounded bright on the other end.
Lila bolted up in the bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, “Oh my gosh, Luke, I slept right through my alarm. I am so sorry. I must have been more tired than I thought. I’ll get going in a few minutes. What time is it?”
Luke chuckled. “It’s ten am, sleepy head. No way, Lila, if you are that tired you need to rest. Besides, by the time you finished packing, you wouldn’t even be here until dinner, then you’d have to leave tomorrow afternoon. I’ll miss you, but you need to stay put.”
“Are you sure, Luke?” She was tired and hated to not see Luke, but actually had some work to do on her computer that afternoon anyway. They agreed Lila would take off early next Friday afternoon, after her deadline and head down to visit.
Lila worked through the weekend. She tried to distract herself from her loneliness and missing Luke but couldn’t do it. She ended up going into the office Saturday just to escape the house.
She was startled to find that she wasn’t the only one in the office. Cecelia and Lila’s boss were bent over some documents, murmuring to one another. Lila felt awkward interrupting them. “Hi,” she said hesitantly.
They looked up and smiled warmly. “Hi, Lila. I’m surprised to see you here on a Saturday. Everything okay with Luke?” her boss asked.
“Oh yes, I just had some extra work to do and stayed in town. I’m going to take off early this Friday and head up. What are you guys up to?”
Cecelia looked uncomfortable and waited for Lila’s boss to speak. “Lila, Cecelia really enjoyed running things while you were away. Now that your back, she has a lot of spare time on her hands. She’s asked me for an extra assignment…a challenge.”
Cecelia chimed in quickly, “You’ve had so much on your plate and with Luke’s injury and all, I didn’t want to add one more thing. I’m sorry if I went over your head but I am really ready to do more.”
They excitedly told Lila about the new project. Lila saw how much energy Cecelia was already getting from meeting the new challenge. It reminded her of herself when she had first started.
Lila crossed the room and hugged Cecelia. “I’m happy for you, Cecelia. Truly. You are so talented, and I couldn’t have relaxed at all taking off that extra week without you here.”
Cecelia’s face beamed, “Thanks. And thanks for the hug, Lila. That was surprising.” They spent the rest of the day oohing and ahhing over the latest designs and going over the details of Cecelia’s new assignment, brightening Lila’s spirits.
Another week went by and Lila met her deadline. Friday morning, she got up extra early and packed the car. She zipped herself into her white dress, which was fitting her much looser than the night when Luke had first spanked her. She must have eaten less than she thought over the last two weeks. Oh well, she was sure Luke would still love it on her.
Lila finished up work early, hugged Cecelia good bye and made the long drive to Grace’s house.
Luke was waiting for her on the porch. It was so good to see him standing, the color returned to his face.
“Hi.” Lila ran up the front steps and grabbed Luke into a huge hug.
“Whoa, Lila, go easy, I’m still a little sore,” Luke laughed. He leaned down and kissed her, returning the embrace.
Lila looked him up and down, “Luke, you look great. So much better than two weeks ago.”
“You look beautiful as always, but Lila, you are skin and bones. Did you eat anything the past two weeks?” Luke held her at arm’s length, looking her over.
“Maybe not enough. I don’t know,” Lila shrugged.
“Lila you have to eat. I can’t let you go back by yourself if you aren’t taking care of yourself.”
“Luke, I’m fine, you are the one who needs taking care of.” She leaned up and kissed him.
Luke gave her a reproachful look. “That’s debatable,” he said as he slapped her on the bottom, then took her hand and led her into the house.
“Lila, so good to see you.” Grace wrapped Lila in a warm embrace. The kitchen smelled amazing. Grace was preparing a quiet dinner for the three of them. Heather and David couldn’t make it this weekend, but Elizabeth and Cole were coming over to cook out the following day.
After a delicious dinner, Grace retired early, giving Luke and Lila privacy and time to catch up. She kissed Lila on the cheek as she left. Lila thought Grace looked a little pale. “You feeling okay, Grace?”
“Just tired, sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re here. Someone’s been missing you.” She looked over her shoulder at Luke, who was leaning casually against the banister of the stairs.
“Yeah, I guess I’m pretty worthless without you.” Luke smiled his slow, adorable smile and Lila’s heart melted. She felt so bad having been away from him for two weeks. Was she doing the right thing by going back to work? Lila looked forward to the day when Luke came back to their house and things could go back to normal.
She walked over to Luke and leaned in for a deep kiss. He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “God, I’ve missed you.” He breathed in her scent and hugged her tighter. “Let’s go to bed.”
Lila lay on Luke’s chest, her leg wrapped around his. His arm was wrapped around her, his fingers gently stroking her upper arm. Lila felt so content. The stress and loneliness of the last two weeks melted away as she lay in Luke’s arms.
“Lila,” Luke said
“Hmmm?” Lila stretched out like a cat and then, practically purring, curled back up again.
“The doctor cleared me to return to al
l normal activities.”
Lila sat up quickly, “Luke that’s great! When did you find out? Yesterday? Were you waiting to surprise me?”
Luke paused before answering, “Lila, I found out Wednesday, last week.”
Lila mentally calculated that Luke had been cleared to come home over ten days ago. “Luke, what’s going on?”
“My mom is sick, Lila, really sick. And she wasn’t ready to tell anyone, but now she is having a hard time hiding it. She’s been going to Sarah weekly for months, as well as specialists.”
“Oh my gosh, Luke, I’m so sorry. How long has she known?”
“We don’t know when she got sick, exactly, because she was trying to be tough and not tell anyone. I’ve known for months, though. I even came home a couple of times without telling you. I didn’t want to lie, but I had to respect her privacy, so I just kind of scheduled it around some of your conferences and whenever you were coming up on a deadline.”
Lila felt terrible. How had she been so wrapped up in herself that she didn’t even notice her husband was carrying around this weight? Fancy clothes in a magazine suddenly didn’t seem so important.
Luke continued, “I thought the visit would be a good time to come clean, but she still wasn’t ready. Then when I got hurt, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to stay behind, spend some time with her, keep an eye on her…”
“Luke, what does she have?”
“It’s bad, Lila.” Luke buried his face in her hair, “Cancer. Stage four.”
Chapter 10
It was after ten the next morning, before Grace emerged from the bedroom. Lila had been keeping post in the breakfast nook, leaning on the solid wood farmhouse table for support. Luke stayed with her till nine, but then went to the workshop to tinker with cars. He kissed her head as he left, knowing that she had to see Grace before she could do anything else.
Lila had prepared herself to stay composed, but when Grace entered the room, she completely broke down. She was shocked by how emotional she was. Grace had become a second mother to her when her and Luke had started dating, but the recent time in her home had really brought them together.
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