by SM Reine
Eventually, though, I met one woman’s gaze in particular. Her eyes were predatory, but beneath that, I felt a lot of anger.
Great. This woman actually felt dangerous.
“Should we call his owner?” a girl asked from another part of the room. She sounded worried...and sane, at least. “He’ll be in trouble, won’t he?”
“What is the point?” The predatory woman’s eyes remained on me. Her accent was thick, and sounded Slavic. Russian, maybe. “His owners will have declared him rogue by now...cut a deal with SCARB to avoid attention.”
“But I thought his job was classified. Even among the humans, don’t they—”
“Well, they may not tell the human news crews what he did for them,” the Russian said, rolling her eyes at the other’s words. “But that does not mean they will not shoot him down like a dog now.” Her eyes returned to mine. “What do you think, little girl? You were raised human.”
Her full lips curled, but it wasn’t really a smile.
“Would you kill him?” she taunted. “...Or play with him awhile first?”
A few of the other seers snickered.
I tried looking from face to face openly, the way Cass would have done.
When the other seers only avoided my eyes, I focused back on the Russian. The woman had her hair piled in braids around an angular but striking face with caramel-colored skin. Her brown eyes shone with so much light that I found myself fighting a kind of fear reaction just trying to hold her gaze.
Her full lips curved higher, so I knew she was reading my mind, too.
She stood beside a short Asian with a wide face and dark hair hanging down the center of her back. So not all seers were tall—good to know. Both of them wore silk robes that covered only the top of their thighs.
“Does it bother you, that we are whores?” the Russian asked me, folding her arms. “Would it bother you to know he sells it, too? But then, we seers are all ‘big sex,’ yes?” Anger colored her voice again, but once she saw my face, her predatory smile returned.
“Ah, you do not like what I say. But Revi’ is a whore...of many kinds. Offer him money. See what he says.” She grinned around at the others. “We seers always need money!”
More laughter rose. A few other seers held my stare that time, too, and smirked at me knowingly. Their expressions and bodies seemed to shift around me, a sea of hair and skin and glowing eyes, and they looked like animals to me, I couldn’t help it. They gestured to one another and their voices echoed in my head, seeming to come from all sides.
Has she tasted him yet?
No. I do not see him in her.
No wonder she is so angry...
Laughter rings, in my mind and outside. My head pounds, but my body feels far away, like a shank of meat on a hook. I close my eyes, trying to block them out.
Do you think it was she who beat him half dead?
Knowing Revi', he liked it...
A few more of them laughed.
He was hungry...even under all that. Do you think she refused him?
Not this one. She is hungry too.
Maybe he is forbidden? By the elders, I mean. Maybe he is not allowed, with his penance.
Did he ask you for it, little girl?
This last is directed at me, and comes from the Russian with that angular face and light-filled eyes and long, brown legs. The rest of the prostitutes fall silent, waiting for my answer.
I look around at them, knowing there is no good answer, no good not-answer.
Finally, I just fold my arms, sinking deeper in the plush chair.
They all laugh again. The room is half in darkness now. Their faces flicker, in and out, negative to positive. The Russian smiles nearest to me.
You don't know what you're missing, little sister...
I struggle to work my tongue. I am too angry, tired and in pain to care anymore if they hurt me. “Look,” I say. “We're not related, Miss...?”
Kat. I am Kat, and I have tasted him. Would you like to know how often? In what ways?
Images swirl briefly, a taste of the flavor of him, and my body reacts involuntarily, a thick surge of that nausea bringing heat to my face.
Kat laughs, and the images recede.
Yes...she is hungry for brother Revik. Kat looks around at the room. But is it him in particular, I wonder? She is new to our kind, after all. Maybe she would like one of her other brothers just as much? Who will break her in for the rest of us?
My fists curl. I don’t turn my head towards any of the males I now feel looking at me with interest. The tiredness is debilitating; if they’re not just having fun with me, there’s no way for me to know. I see a wine bottle, half full on the table.
I let my hand wander closer—
Stop! A voice breaks through the others. You are going too far...she thinks you mean it! The short, Asian female steps closer, and I realize it is her voice. She looks at me with curiosity, but also sympathy. She can’t help what she’s been taught. She’s scared, Kat. You’re being mean.
Mika is right, says a warm voice, chiding the Russian. And the girl does like him. You should not tell her of his trade. It is not your place.
Kat snorts. I am educating her. What does she think he's doing with Ullysa right now?
Don’t be silly, says another. He’s wounded.
He is never that wounded!
Another roll of laughter twangs strings of light, this one warmer, more genuine. I blink, try to focus my eyes.
The mature-sounding voice returns. My head turns; I can almost distinguish them now. An African-looking woman stands in the back, smiling at me with dark eyes.
Retract your claws, Kat. She’s only a cub.
She wants to know...look at her!
She doesn’t want to know. You are angering her, Kat...and you are jealous.
Jealous? Of what? Why would he play with a half worm, when there is no money in it?
He wants anything with a pulse, a male voice laughs. And her soul may look like an old man, but she is beautiful...her light pulls. Of course he wants her...I want her. The paradox alone is intriguing, even without those eyes...
I am exhausted. I’m fighting to stay awake when another presence enters the room. The others fall silent, and it is a schoolyard silence, children caught tormenting a wounded animal.
Even Kat steps back, looking defensive.
“What is going on in here?” Ullysa says.
I am standing. When had I gotten to my feet?
Just having a little fun, big sis, Kat sends.
I look at Kat, and the woman’s eyes pulse, more schoolyard politics, this time a warning from the head bully to remain silent. But I don’t even care anymore. I feel sick, more tired than I can remember feeling. I want to go home, make sure my mother’s all right, and Jon...and Cass. To hell with these people.
Now that Revik is okay maybe they’ll just let me leave.
“You cannot leave, sister.” Ullysa’s eyes reflect alarm, maybe at my thoughts, or maybe at something she sees in my face. “There is no home to which you could return. I am sorry. Did you not watch the feeds?”
I shake my head, but I can’t let myself think about her words. Putting out a hand like a zombie, I lean my weight on a chair.
Fuck it. If they wanted to screw with my head, or rape me or whatever, there wasn’t a hell of a lot I could do about it. Maybe I wouldn’t even remember.
When I glanced up, Ullysa was staring at me again. Then her eyes turned to glass, reminding me of Revik’s before they swiveled to face the rest of the room.
Her anger flared, a red streak in the dark.
She was begging for it! Kat said, before Ullysa could speak. Her sad, human eyes on our brother's ass...
Ullysa fury pulsed higher. “Do you know who this is? Do you have any idea what you are doing right now?”
Stepping towards me, she ignored my flinch and took my arm.
I stood there, feeling like some kind of poster child, and not liking that mu
ch, either. She spoke quietly though, warmly, and at each word, I felt a little less strung out.
“I am very sorry to have left you alone, Esteemed sister,” she said. She glared around at the seers filling the rest of the room. “...I would never have done so, if I knew my own people would shame me in such a way.”
Her eyes returned to mine, and softened.
“I wanted only to look at the nature of his wounds. Right now, more than anything he requires sleep, and that is better done in pairs.” She glanced at Kat. “...He asked for you,” she added pointedly.
I didn’t know which of us she meant, and at that point I didn’t much care.
When she looked at me that time, Ullysa smiled. A flicker of relief shone in her violet-tinged eyes as they met mine. “He is very weak. Did you feed him at all, sister?”
I had to think about this. I shook my head. “No. I stole some stuff. He wouldn’t eat it...” I trailed, hearing the prostitutes snicker.
Ullysa’s voice remained gentle. “Sister...I meant light. Did you give him any of your light?”
I blinked, trying again to think.
Finally, I could only shake my head.
“I don’t understand.”
Kat broke out, “You see? She acts like one of them. Thinks like one of them!”
Ullysa’s eyes flashed fire. “She is only recently awakened, and you should know why that is! You are embarrassing me, Kat!” She turned to me, her fire dimming back to that warm ember. “I will show you, sister. Please come with me.”
I followed her, giving a last glance at Kat, who was staring at me, her brown eyes glowing in anger. I turned away from her once I saw the fury reflected there, and pushed it from my mind a second later, focusing on the hallway itself.
Plush, dark-green carpet cushioned my bare feet, feeling heavenly after walking over and around sharp stones, trash and glass on the cement sidewalks. Hanging on the corridor walls, tapestries depicted colorful dragons belching fire, people in Asian-looking costumes floating or riding on clouds, fantastical-looking animals that may have been lions with curling blue and green hair. I touched the face of a giant white dog with bared teeth.
Ullysa smiled. “They are Chinese. Given to me before the Cultural Revolution.”
I nodded, but didn’t speak, or even look away from the walls.
We turned down a few more forks in the long hallway, and I realized the apartment must be huge, not really an apartment at all but more like a flat, or perhaps they owned the entire building. Eventually, after what felt like the length of a football field, I followed Ullysa into a square room with a white door.
The building must be set in a hill, I thought.
The side I was on now faced the downward slope, as windows showed us to be aboveground, rather than on the first floor, like before. In front of those same windows, rust-colored drapes hung from rods below a low, red ceiling. An even thicker, gold-white carpet sank under my bare feet. I glanced towards the bed, and over the headboard saw another painting, this time of a round-eyed god riding a lion. He spat fire below an elaborate headdress of looping tongues of flame. Next to him, I saw an image of what might be a buddha, only with a stack of heads rising like a cone from his torso.
“She likes the paintings, Revi’,” Ullysa said. “Especially the thankahs.”
I glanced down, and saw him looking at me from the bed. The sweatshirt was gone, but he didn’t look like he’d been doing the big sex, like Kat had said. He gestured delicately to the woman who sat next to him in a chair, stitching up his shoulder.
As soon as he had, she pressed a palm to his forehead.
When she took her fingers away, his eyes were closed. Seeing him lying there so still and pale, I stepped closer to the bed, my hands shoved deep in my pockets.
“He will sleep now.” The woman stitching his shoulder...or girl really, I realized, now that I stood closer...smiled. Her bleached, platinum hair stuck up in curled tufts around an elfin face. “I let him stay awake until he saw you...but no more. I am sorry.”
I hesitated, not sure I was ready for more bad news.
“Is he all right?” I said.
“The shot was clean,” she assured me, tugging the thread up by the needle, pulling his skin taut. “Physically, he will recover well. He has lost a lot in structure, though,” she said more somberly. “...That will take longer.” The elfin face turned to mine. “Will you hold for him?”
My mind puzzled over this for a few beats. I glanced at Ullysa.
“We will all provide light,” Ullysa explained to me. “But one person serves as a conduit. Ivy is asking if you will take that role.”
I still didn’t get it. I nodded anyway.
Ullysa’s smile warmed. “As in many things, the best way to learn is by doing.”
My jaw tightened. “I’d rather not use a dying guy as my test case. You’re his friends...why don’t one of you do it?”
Ivy glanced up at me in surprise. “He asked for you.”
My cheeks warmed. “Fine. But I’m not exactly qualified. And I’m pretty damned tired myself, if you want the truth.”
Ullysa took my arm, guiding me gently towards the bed. “You must be very, very tired, sister,” she said, her voice a near purr. “This requires no strength or effort, I assure you...merely structure, and you have that in abundance. We will do the rest.”
I stared at Revik’s body sprawled on the dark orange comforter. Ivy was knotting the stitching on his shoulder. I watched until she glanced up, smiling as she bit off the excess thread. A pulse of warmth reached me from the girl’s light as she did it, like what Revik had done to me in the other room. It seemed to be a form of affection...or reassurance maybe...like a hand on the arm at hello. The simple gesture brought my emotion surging to the surface.
“Is my family all right?” I said. “Has there been anything on the feeds about them?”
The warmth from Ivy increased.
She nodded. “Interviews were released by SCARB. They have all said you are innocent...that you would not hurt anyone.” Ivy clicked softly. “No avatars, of course, but we will protect them. We believe the Rooks were behind that, the showing of their real faces...”
“No avatars?” I said. “What did they look like?”
Ivy rolled her eyes up in thought. “A very sad and worried woman with dark curly hair and large eyes who they say is your mother. A handsome man with streaked hair, Chinese writing on his arms, and broad shoulders who is your brother. A Thai girl with hair like Ullysa’s and who wears dark lipstick...” Ivy held her hands out to approximate Cass’s generous chest, and I laughed in spite of myself. Ivy smiled. “They seemed very nice.”
I felt myself take a breath. “Then they’re okay.”
Ivy smiled. “They are fine, Esteemed Bridge.”
I hesitated, staring at her.
Esteemed Bridge. Those were the exact words the other woman had used...and the same ones Revik called me whenever he didn’t forget and call me Allie instead. Or when he was stressed out and wanted me to do something, like when he’d been dragging me across Golden Gate Park by the wrist, trying to get us out of San Francisco.
Before I could ask, Ullysa pushed gently at my back until I sat on the edge of the bed.
She very efficiently removed the jeans I’d stolen off the clothesline earlier that day, leaving me with the long-sleeved T-shirt and nothing else. I slid my legs under the quilt, not caring. Lying down was followed by unspeakable relief as I sank between clean sheets. I watched Ivy continue to work over Revik, bandaging his shoulder. If I’d known him even a little better, I might have curled up on his other side, maybe even wrapped my arm around him.
I was tempted to do it anyway.
I turned to Ullysa, but she held up a hand.
“Shhh, Esteemed sister. Do not talk. I apologize profoundly for the lack of warmth in your greeting here. Revi’ has already told us that you saved his life several times...”
I was about to argue, then decide
d she probably didn’t care.
“What do I do?” I said. “The holding thing, I mean?”
“Relax,” Ullysa said.
This time it was a command.
My eyelids immediately closed.
11
VOW
I stand in a field.
Grasses pool at my feet, flooding down the hill below me like ocean waves. The wind stirs them into rippling patterns, woven wildflowers creating a mosaic of dusty pinks and purples in the cold, clean air, and I am awake, more awake than I can ever remember being. Snow-covered mountains loom above where I stand, jagged and coarse, and incredibly still. Those mountains have their own presence, even apart from the sky and towering clouds, and I look up at them, drinking in their beauty until...
He pulls on me, turning my head.
He stands there, alone, staring up at those same mountains, his long form utterly still.
He doesn't seem to see me, but I feel him all around me, as if I’m looking at him through him...as if I am inside him, too.
This place, it is a part of him, somehow.
...I walk a corridor now, barefoot.
It is carpeted, with high-walled, dark wood paneling, oiled to a lustrous shine. Lamps hang down the center of the ceiling at regular intervals, made of crystal and iron. They flicker as I walk past, but I am a ghost here, invisible. Brightly-colored paintings garnish muted wallpaper, as different from the paintings on Ullysa’s wall as they can be. I trace them with my eyes—white men on muscled steeds, Wagner-esque with a hint of Valhalla. The riders’ expressions mirror one another, stern but wise, unintentionally cartoonish.
Through an open doorway, a harsh, emotional voice speaks over the crackle of an ancient radio.
Servants stand over it, listening. They don’t notice me, but I recognize the voice, even understand the words, although in the real world I don’t understand German.