by Addison Cole
“Field work isn’t for everyone, but if you ever change your mind, the door is always open for you.” David knew the score with field work. Depending on the location, volunteers might stay in huts or in tents, or if the clinic was near a major city, they could get lucky enough to stay in the homes of host families.
“I spoke to my father this morning,” Andre said. “I’m heading into Boston next weekend to have lunch with them. I’ll tell him to stop bugging you about it. Or,” he said with a teasing lilt to his voice, “I could ask him to give you some field tips.”
“Yeah, you do that.” David laughed.
“How’s Mary doing? Is she still quilting?”
“My wife will be quilting until the day she dies. She’s well. Thanks for asking. You know, my youngest daughter, Alicia, is still single.” He waggled his brows.
Andre held up his hands and said, “I’m officially off the market.”
“Son, you’ve never been on the market. So, you have a special little lady?”
“If she heard you call her that she might end your life,” he said with a smile, thinking of the death glare Violet would probably give David.
“Good for her. She’s got to be strong to put up with a mongrel like you.” He chuckled and said, “I’m glad to hear you’re happy. Maybe you can give your parents some grandbabies so they’ll stop spoiling mine.”
“I’m in no rush for babies, but I’ll keep that in mind.”
They had a nice visit, and David was pleased that Andre was volunteering at Outer Cape Health Services while he was in town. Andre promised to give his father grief about losing to David in their last golf match.
“Let me walk you out,” David said as he came around the desk. “I almost forgot to tell you, we’ve instituted a new addition to our therapy program for our long-term peds patients. We’re using art therapy to help reduce anxiety, and we’re seeing remarkable results.” He pointed to a child’s drawing framed on his bookshelf. “A little boy gave me this when he left the hospital. That’s me.” He pointed to a stick figure with an oversized head. “Gotta love kids.”
“That’s wonderful.” Andre’s gaze drifted to the shelf below, where a little clay giraffe was peering out from between a book and a larger clay elephant. The giraffe was painted yellow with purple spots, and the elephant was made of green Play-Doh. He thought of Violet making animals for the children when they’d been together. He was tempted to ask if they were hers, but he imagined every art therapist had Play-Doh and clay in their bag of tricks. “Are those from the program, too?”
“Yes,” he said as a knock sounded at his door.
He opened the door and his assistant, Shelley, said, “I’m sorry to bother you. I just wanted to remind you that you have a meeting with oncology in fifteen minutes.”
“I’ll be there right after I walk Andre out. Thank you, Shelley.”
They followed her out of the office, and Andre said, “I can walk myself out.”
David put a hand on his shoulder and said, “I only see you once or twice a year. I can make time to walk you to the door.”
They took the elevator down to the lobby, and Andre was surprised to see Violet coming down the hall. She looked up just as David said, “There’s one of our art-therapy volunteers now.” A flash of surprise crossed Violet’s face as they stepped into her path.
“Hello, Violet,” David said.
“Dr. Posillico, hi.” She glanced at Andre with a curious expression.
“I was just telling my friend Andre about you and the art therapy you’re doing with our patients. Violet helps the children decorate their gowns, and she worked with the little girl who made the animals you saw in my office. The children adore her. Andre is an old family friend. He’s a pediatrician and he studied art under some very talented artists.”
Andre held out his hand and said, “Andre Shaw, nice to meet you.”
“Dr. Shaw, it’s a pleasure,” she said, playing right along with his ruse.
“I was just on my way out,” Andre said. “Maybe we can grab some coffee and you can show me where all that ink peeking out of your sleeve leads.”
David’s face blanched. “Andre…Um…” he stammered. “My goodness, you can’t…I’m sorry, Violet—”
Andre chuckled and patted David’s back. “David, Violet is my girlfriend. I’m sorry. I had to get you back for the prank you played on me with Mr. Patterson when I was an intern.”
David exhaled loudly. “I think you might have just taken ten years off my life, you little bugger.”
“I’m truly sorry.” Andre extended his hand.
David bypassed his hand and pulled him into an embrace, smacking him hard on the back. “You’re a jackass, but I love you.” He turned a playful expression to Violet and said, “I should tell you what a great guy Andre is, but if dating him means we’re going to lose you as a volunteer to chase him overseas, then for the first time in my adult life I’ll lie like a rug.”
They said their goodbyes, and as they walked out the doors Violet said, “Mr. Patterson? What was the prank?”
“He was a patient, this old guy who liked to drop his drawers. David finagled it so I did his intake physical, and when I walked into the room, the guy was wearing the gown open in the front, and he was buck naked beneath.” Andre chuckled. “More importantly, why didn’t you tell me you volunteered here?”
“I didn’t?”
“No. You said you still worked with kids, and you were working on a sculpture, and working with Joni, but you never mentioned the hospital.”
“Oh, well, that’s all true. What were you doing there?”
He took her hand as they crossed the parking lot toward her bike. “Visiting with David. He’s a family friend. I’ve known him forever. By the way, you’re having lunch with me and my parents next weekend. Don’t you know how proud I am to have you as my girlfriend? Had I known you were volunteering here, I would have invited you to come along to meet him.”
“Wait…what? I’m meeting your parents?”
“Yeah, next weekend for lunch. We’ll take the ferry into Boston and—”
“Maybe you should ask me to meet them?”
“Why? So you can make up an excuse not to? It’s easier this way, babe. Trust me. But can I ask you something else?”
“Apparently it’s easier not to ask me anything.” She smiled and said, “Go for it.”
“This morning when the girls said something about your mysterious outings, why didn’t you just say you were coming here to volunteer?” He had a feeling she was keeping this a secret like she kept the coffeehouse, her other group of friends, and her sculpting secret.
“It’s none of their business.”
“Do they know you volunteer at the hospital?”
She stopped by her bike and crossed her arms. “Why so many questions? Does it bother you that I volunteer, or are you so possessive that you need to know where I am twenty-four-seven?”
“That’s hardly fair. You know I don’t need that. I’m thrilled you’re still working with kids, but I’m curious whether your friends know. Does Desiree? Justin?”
Her jaw tightened. After a long stretch of tense silence, she said, “I don’t volunteer so I can go out and brag about it. I do it because I enjoy it, and I like helping children. What’s the big deal?”
“I’m just trying to understand why you have to appear so mysterious to everyone. You’re doing something wonderful, and it sounded like you’re doing good things with Joni, too. But you have friends who love you and who don’t know about either of those things.”
She looked away.
“Babe, sharing what you do with the people who love you most, sharing the good and the bad parts of your life, is what relationships are all about. It isn’t bragging; it’s letting them in.” He stepped closer, unfolded her arms, and held her hands. “You deserve to shine, babe. To be proud of what you do and let others be proud of you, too.”
“I am proud of it, but I don’t n
eed them to be.”
His heart hurt for her, because he had a feeling he knew why she was doing it. What he was going to say next might upset her, but he didn’t know how else to get his point across. “Babe, we all do what we’re taught, what we know. I think you might have learned from Lizza to hide the best parts of yourself. This might sound harsh, but in Lizza’s case, I think she’d rather let you and Desiree believe she’s selfish when maybe she’s not. I don’t know, babe. Maybe you like your sister and friends thinking you’re up to rebellious things? It just seems like you might be patterning yourself after Lizza, which isn’t necessarily bad.”
She yanked her hands free and said, “No way. I am not like her.”
“Vi, please hear me out. I could be way off base, but just listen to why I’m asking. Lizza told you she was leaving early so Desiree could go on her honeymoon. But she told Desiree it was so you and I could finally find the answers we’ve been searching for.”
Violet blinked several times, shaking her head. “What…?”
“I know it sounds bizarre, but it’s true. And think about it. You and Desiree hadn’t had a real relationship until she tricked you both into coming here—and gave you reasons to stay.”
“Lizza hurts people,” she said angrily. “I don’t ever try to hurt people unless they deserve it.”
“I know you don’t. I don’t think Lizza tries to hurt you or Desiree, either. It seems like she’s trying to make amends the only way she knows how. Or maybe the only way she’s able to handle doing it, by taking the goodness out of the equation. She takes the focus off what she’s offering, or trying to facilitate, and in doing so, she hurts yours and Desiree’s feelings. But the end result is that she opened doors for you two to be happy even without her.”
“What are you saying? We should be thankful to her after she dragged me halfway around the world, away from the only family I’d ever known?”
“No, babe. I’m showing you the way she does things and saying that maybe by keeping your sister, and your friends, in the dark about these other parts of your life, good parts, happy parts, you might be unintentionally hurting them. They know you have other things you do, but it’s all a big secret, which might make them feel like they’re not worthy of being included.”
Her lips parted as if she might say something, and then she closed her mouth and sadness rose in her eyes.
“Babe, I’m not trying to hurt you. I worry that you’re hurting yourself by going to great lengths to keep so many sides of yourself, of your life, from intersecting. You don’t allow yourself to take credit for the good things you do, and that doesn’t let anyone fully know or appreciate you.”
“I don’t need to be appreciated.”
“But you deserve to be,” he said strongly. “It feels good to be happy for someone you love. Desiree adores you, and she doesn’t even know the generous things you do. When we first met, you told me you’d worked with children for as long as you could remember. Desiree was a preschool teacher, and Rick told me she teaches art to kids during the school year. Does she have any idea that you two have that in common?”
Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away again. He reached for her and she stepped back and said, “I know what opening yourself up like that does. I did it when I was a kid, and look how far that got me.”
He gathered her in his arms, despite her initial struggle, wanting to take away the hurt and fear in her voice. “They’re not going to abandon you. Haven’t they proven that to you already? You’ve only shown them about a third of who you really are, and it was enough for them to love you unconditionally.”
Tears slipped from her eyes. He kissed them away and said, “Babe, imagine if they got to know all of you.”
Chapter Eleven
VIOLET’S HAND MOVED over empty sheets Saturday morning. She opened her eyes and found a daisy on Andre’s pillow. She picked it up and twirled it between her finger and thumb, thinking about yesterday. They’d walked down to Wellfleet Pier for lunch and watched the boats in the harbor. Later they’d gone for a drive and stopped at Drake’s music shop. Andre wanted to see where her other friends worked, and as they drove from place to place, she realized she’d never even been to Serena and Gavin’s new office, or the assisted living facility where Chloe worked. They drove down to Ben and Jerry’s for ice cream and then headed to the Earth House, one of her favorite stores, where they scoured music paraphernalia and hemp clothing. It was a beautiful fall day, and after tooling around several of the small towns, they’d ended up at the coffeehouse. It had been the most carefree, exhilarating day she’d ever had, full of kissing, holding hands, and doing all the sappy things she’d thought she’d never want—or have—again, and she wanted more of it.
Cosmos hopped up on the bed and crawled on his belly to her. She reached out to pet him and brushed over a mop of sandy, wet hair. Ugh. Andre had gone running with the guys again, and she guessed Cosmos had, too. Cosmos licked her arm.
“Guess I’ll be washing the sheets and you, huh?”
He licked her again. He’d been awfully needy lately, following them around and sleeping in their room. “You miss Desiree, don’t you?”
The pup tilted his head and whimpered.
“Yeah, I do, too,” she said, surprising herself. “She’ll be back after her honeymoon, and then you can spread sand on her bed.”
She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about everything Andre had said Thursday afternoon at the hospital. The thought that she could have been inadvertently hurting Desiree was killing her. She didn’t want to bother Desiree on her honeymoon, but she was anxious to hear from her. Last night, as if Violet had willed it to happen, Desiree had texted to say Rick had surprised her with the trip to Portugal. She’d sent pictures of the inn where they were staying and of a friend she’d made there, Paige Bentley, whose family owned the inn. Desiree had invited Paige to visit Summer House and had learned that she knew Daphne and Chloe from their online book club. Desiree’s openness with strangers had underscored the differences between her and Violet and had driven home Andre’s point.
Violet had never considered herself to be someone who hid from anything. She approached situations head-on and never hesitated to say what was on her mind. But she was starting to see herself through Andre’s eyes, and she wondered if he was right and she was going to great lengths to hide certain parts of herself. Maybe she wasn’t just trying to keep her groups of friends separate because of the emotions they triggered, even if it had started out that way.
Cosmos leaped from the bed and scampered toward the sounds coming from the kitchen. Violet was glad she’d told their friends to fend for themselves this morning so she and Andre could have a quiet morning alone before heading up to Herring Cove for the volunteer appreciation day to see Rowan and Joni.
Violet pulled on one of Andre’s soft shirts, brushed her teeth, and carried the daisy into the kitchen to put it in water.
“Hey, beautiful.” Andre reached for her, looking deliciously sexy in his boxer briefs.
“Mm.” She nuzzled against his neck. “You smell good.”
He pressed his lips to hers, caressing her bare butt as he said, “You were fast asleep when I got back, so I used the outdoor shower on the patio.”
“And I missed it? I just might have to get you dirty again.”
“I like the sound of that.” He pressed several shivery kisses along her neck, causing goose bumps to rise all over her. “I was about to bring you breakfast in bed.”
She followed his gaze to a tray on the counter filled with a plate of French toast, a bowl of fruit, and a cup of coffee. When she set the daisy on the tray, it looked like a scene from a romantic postcard. She wasn’t a postcard-romance girl, but she was starting to wonder if she didn’t know herself as well as she thought she did. “Thank you. That looks amazing. Did you eat?”
“No.” He brushed his scruff over her cheek. He nipped at her jaw and said, “How could I eat without you?”
; He lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her deeply. He was so good to her, so patient, and unwilling to let her mess them up, that he’d unshackled something deep inside her, allowing her to release her inner vixen and accept the softer, submissive side that existed only when she was with him. Their kisses went on and on, and when his mouth blazed a path down her neck, she couldn’t hold on to a single thought.
“Forget breakfast in bed.” She stripped off her shirt.
LATER THAT MORNING, as they climbed off Andre’s bike at Herring Cove, the sounds of children playing and adults mingling carried in the salty sea air.
“That’s Rowan’s pickup truck, with the breast cancer magnets all over it.” Violet pointed to a truck parked a few spots away. “He’s got them all over the food truck, too.”
Andre had thought he’d known pain when Violet had left him in Ghana. But after falling even deeper in love with her, the idea of being separated not by distance, but by death, brought a whole new meaning to the word. He wasn’t sure he could survive that.
He locked up the helmets and reached for her hand, feeling so full of love he was sure no one in the world had ever loved a person as much as he did right at that moment. But when Violet’s eyes caught his, he knew he was wrong.
“Have you volunteered at the soup kitchen?” he asked.
“A few times.”
“Would you have come to this appreciation day if you didn’t need to catch up with Rowan?”
She was quiet for a moment before shaking her head.
“Because you don’t want to be appreciated by others?”
“Yes is on the tip of my tongue,” she said sharply. “But you make me want to figure out why my first instinct is to say yes. I think it’s because when I was a kid there was no better feeling than having Ted tell me how much he appreciated things I did, like watching out for Desiree or helping set the table. I loved the positive reinforcement, and I wanted to earn his praise. But when Lizza took me away, it felt like all that stuff he said wasn’t real. Because how can you love and appreciate someone but let them go?” She inhaled a ragged breath and blew it out slowly. “But I loved and appreciated you, and then I left. My feelings for you weren’t fake. I’m beginning to understand that nothing is black-and-white and what I’ve always believed may not necessarily be true.”