LARRY: No.
MARSHALL: Me neither, but it sure as shit ain’t a fucking dumpling house.
THE TRANSLATOR: Dallas, 2015.
JULIE: Mr McLaren, back in 2006, were you aware of the existence of an online forum known as Zhuangzi?
MARSHALL: You’d have to be pretty fu—you’d have to be pretty clueless to work in China, in my line of business, and not know about Zhuangzi. I’m not clueless.
JULIE: Could you answer / the—
MARSHALL: Yeah, I knew about Zhuangzi.
JULIE: What did you know about it?
MARSHALL: I knew it was an underground, sorta, online community, forum, people voicing their dissatisfaction about the government. Frequented by dissidents. (beat) Not that—I don’t have a stance on—I’m just using the terminology.
JULIE: Of course.
MARSHALL: That’s just, that’s a fact, they’re, they’re deemed by, to be dissidents.
JULIE: Of course. (beat) Your contract with the Ministry was renewed in 2006?
MARSHALL: As I’ve said.
JULIE: Why did your geographical total increase?
MARSHALL: Sorry?
JULIE: In 2005, you reported that China made up 11% of your gross revenue. In 2006, that number jumps to a whopping 34%. Why’d you make more money in 2006?
Beat.
MARSHALL: I guess they liked us.
THE TRANSLATOR: Beijing, 2006.
MARSHALL: The fucking weasels.
LARRY: Marsh.
MARSHALL: Now they want a fucking office meeting, the fucking weasels.
LARRY: I know it looks bad.
MARSHALL: Wine and dine us for fifteen fucking months, then the day after we submit our fucking proposal suddenly it’s fucking crumbling office brutalism in the fucking outskirts.
LARRY: It could be circumstantial, I mean, uh, I dunno, maybe they ran outta the food budget.
MARSHALL: You ever been dumped, Larry?
LARRY: I don’t, uh—
MARSHALL: I’ve been dumped. I’ve been dumped a couple of times. That surprise you?
LARRY: Uh.
MARSHALL: Every time I got dumped, Larry, you know where the bitch took me? To a neutral zone. That’s what’s happening here, Larry. This is a Dear John letter. This is a ‘it’s not you, it’s me and my latent daddy trauma.’
LARRY: I’m just saying, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, it could be unrelated.
MARSHALL: Oh, get your head of your fucking ass, Larry, I’ll tell you exactly what is going on here, we delivered a fucking weak-ass fucking parse-list filter for motherfucking porn—on your fucking instruction I might add—and now, okay, we’re getting dumped, we’re gonna lose the consultancy to some goddamn Chinese monkeys who can adequately copy my fucking IP.
LARRY: There was no guarantee—
MARSHALL: It’s our fucking IP, Larry. It’s ours.
LARRY: That’s interesting.
MARSHALL: What is?
LARRY: Well, a second ago, you’re all ‘my IP’ this, ‘my IP’ that, now you’re saying ‘our IP’, it’s just interesting. It’s an interesting thing I observed.
MARSHALL: What is this, Larry? Is this an attempt at, at passive aggression? Is my outsized ego hampering your—you can get fucked, Larry. You told me to withhold my revolutionary fucking schematic, and you’re the one getting butthurt? You can get fucked, Larry. You can get brutally sodomized. You can get ass-fucked with a rusted fucking—
(DEPUTY MINISTER GAO enters.)
LARRY: Minister Gao, so good to see you! And …
(He notices the Translator.)
THE TRANSLATOR: Don’t mind me, I’m just the translator.
LARRY: Right. (to the Minister) Thank you for the wonderful dinner. I’m still full.
THE TRANSLATOR: He thanks you for dinner and jokes that he is still full.
他感谢您的晚餐，还开玩笑地说他现在还饱着呢。
Tā gǎnxiè nín de wǎncān, hái kāiwánxiàode shuō tā xiànzài hái bǎozhe ne.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: Tell him the restaurant we will eat at next time is even better.
告诉他，我们下次去一个更好的餐厅。
Gàosùtā, wǒmén xìacì qù yígè gènghǎo de cāntīng.
THE TRANSLATOR: The Minister says the restaurant you will eat at next time is even better.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: Better century eggs!
那家的松花蛋更好吃。
Nǎ jiāde sōnghuādàn gènghǎo chī.
THE TRANSLATOR: More culinary delights. (to the audience) What the Minister actually said was ‘better century eggs’ but given Marshall’s aversion to them, I thought this was more appropriate.
MARSHALL: (to Larry) See if you can get anything out of this / fuckin’ weasel.
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the Minister) He is saying ‘see if you—’
他在说：看你能不能--
Tā zài shuō: kàn nǐ néngbùnéng.
MARSHALL: Uh—don’t translate that.
LARRY: Marsh. Come on.
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the audience) This is a good moment to mention that there are two kinds of translators.
MARSHALL: What, like she knows the word ‘weasel’.
THE TRANSLATOR: Those who believe in normative ethics—
MARSHALL: Go on, ask her.
THE TRANSLATOR:—and those who don’t.
MARSHALL: Ask her if she knows the word ‘weasel’.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: Is there a problem?
出问题了吗？
Chūwèntí le ma？
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the audience) I, for one, am something of a … chaotic neutral. That is why I’m about to inform the Minister that these men are conspiring to extract information from her. (to the Minister) They’re discussing their strategy for this meeting.
他们正在讨论这个会议的策略。
Tāmen zhèngzài tǎolùn zhège huìyì de cèlüè.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: What are they saying?
讨论什么？
Tǎolùn shénme？
THE TRANSLATOR: They intend to ask you about something.
他们准备问您一件事。
Tāmen zhǔnbèi wèn nín yíjiàn shì.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: About what?
什么事？
Shénme shi?
THE TRANSLATOR: They didn’t say.
他们没说。
Tāmen méi shuō.
LARRY: Is there a problem?
THE TRANSLATOR: Not at all. The Minister invites you to take a seat. (to the Minister) They’re asking you to take a seat.
他们请您就坐。
Tāmen qǐng nín jiùzuò.
LARRY: Thank you, xie xie.
MARSHALL: We tread carefully.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: (to the Translator) We should tread carefully.
我们应该谨慎行事。
Wǒmen yīnggāi jǐnshèn xíngshì.
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the audience) We’re currently witnessing something I call ‘philological parallelism’.
MARSHALL: Don’t show our hand.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: (to the Translator) Don’t disclose anything.
不要透露任何东西。
Búyào tòulù rènhé dōngxī.
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the audience) They’re saying the same thing.
MARSHALL: (to the Translator) We’re ready.
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the audience) They’re ready. (to the Minister) They’re ready.
他们准备好了。
Tāmen zhǔnbèi hǎole.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: Tell him we’re ready.
告诉他我们准备好了。
Gàosu tā wǒmen zhǔnbèi hǎole.
THE TRANSLATOR: (to the guys) She’s ready. (to the audience) We’re ready.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: First, / we would like to say we are very impressed with your work.
首先，/我们想要说，我们对你的工作印象十分深刻。
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) First, we would like to say we are very impressed with your work so far.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: The Ministry / feels that the Comprehensive Exhibition on Targeting Harmful and Obscene Materials in Chinese Information System was a great success.
我部/认为，针对中国信息系统里有害淫秽内容的综合展览很 成功。
Wǒ bú rènwéi, zhēnduì Zhōngguó xìnxīxìtoňglǐ yǒuhài yínhuì nèiróng de zōnghé zhǎnlǎn hěn chénggōng.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) The ministry feels that the Comprehensive Exhibition on Targeting Harmful and Obscene Materials in Chinese Information System was a great success.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: Our purpose for calling this meeting / today is to start a dialog about the possibility of contract extension between the Ministry of Public Security and ONYS Systems.
我们今天开会的目的/是讨论公安部和ONYS系统是否能延续 合同。
Wǒmen jīntiān kāihuì de mùdì shì tǎolùn Gōngānbù hé ONYS xìtoňg shìfǒu néng yánxù hétong.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) Our purpose for calling this meeting today is to discuss the possibility of contract extension between the Ministry of Public Security and ONYS Systems.
MARSHALL: (to Larry) That’s it. That’s the Dear John.
THE TRANSLATOR: He / said—
他/说—
Tā shuō—
MARSHALL: Don’t translate that. It’s the Dear John, Larry.
LARRY: It doesn’t sound like a Dear John, it sounds like an offer on the table.
MARSHALL: We wouldn’t be here if there was a genuine offer, Larry, we’d be eating fucking dim sum, signing the dotted line. They’ve sent a mid-level bureaucrat to keep us haggling over the fine print for a couple of months, so they can get us to do some unpaid labor training their guys to implement our fucking schematics, and then they’re gonna dump us.
LARRY: That is completely paranoid.
MARSHALL: No, no. We tried it your way. The only thing these people understand is a good deal. Time to sell them something. (to the Minister) Respectfully, uh, Minister, we weren’t entirely happy with the outcome of the Exhibition.
LARRY: (warning) Marsh.
MARSHALL: (to the Translator) Translate that.
THE TRANSLATOR: They’re saying they weren’t happy with the outcome of the Exhibition.
他们在说他们对展览取得的收入不是很满意。
Tāmen zài shuō tāmen duì zhǎnlǎn qǔdéde shōurù búshi heň mǎnyì.
LARRY: What are you doing?
MARSHALL: (to the Minister) We feel the limited scope of this consultation, has limited us in terms of, uh, our ability to address some of the more global issues with your system.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) They feel that the limited scope of this consultation has limited their work, they want to address bigger issues with your system.
他们认为这次咨询的范围限制了他们的工作。他们想指出你 们系统里更主要的问题。
Tāmen rènwéi zhècì zīxún de fànwéi xiànzhì le tāmende gōngzuò. Tāmen xiǎng zhǐchū nǐmen xìtǒnglǐ gèng zhǔyào de wèntí.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: (smiling) The insolence.
傲慢。
Àomàn.
THE TRANSLATOR: (out) She thinks he’s insolent.
Gabrielle Chan.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: What sort of issues?
什么样的问题？
Shénmeyàng de wèntí?
THE TRANSLATOR: What sort of issues?
MARSHALL: We believe that efficiency is a much larger issue than we were able to fully address with our parse-list system for, uh, ‘harmful and obscene materials’, and, again respectfully, we think—if we were to become involved in Golden Shield, more thoroughly, in the lead-up to the Olympics—we could outline a new network topology, that would be much more efficient.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) He believes efficiency is a much larger issue. If their contract were to be renewed during the Olympics, they could design a system that would be much more efficient.
他认为效率是最大的问题。如果合同在奥运会期间续签， 他们应该能设计一个更有效率的系统。
Tā rènwéi xiàolǜ shì zuì dàde wèntí. Rúguǒ hétong zài Aòyùnhuì qījiān xùqiān, tāmen yīnggāi néng shèjì yígè gèngyǒuxiàolü de xìtoňg.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: (smiling, muttered to the Translator) This is the first time I’m hearing any of this.
他们从来没有说过。
Tāmen cónglái méiyoǔ shuōguò.
THE TRANSLATOR: (out) This is the first time she’s hearing any of this.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: Perhaps there is some confusion about the goals of our project. The Ministry wants to increase efficiency through the refinement and modernization of our existing system. We value your expertise but we are not soliciting an American version of the Chinese internet.
或许我们项目的目标有些模糊，但是我们想完善我们现有的 系统，使其现代化，从而提高效率。虽然你们的专业知识值 得肯定，但是我们并不需要一个美国版本的中国网络。
Huòxǔ wǒmen xiàngmù de mùbiāo yǒuxiē móhu, dànshì wǒmen xiǎng wánshàn wǒmen xiànyǒude xìtǒng. Shǐ qí xiàndàihuà cóngér tígāo xiàolǜ. Suīrán nǐmende zhuānyèzhīshi zhídékěndìng，dànshì wǒmen bìng bù xūyào yígè Měiguó bǎnběn de Zhōngguó wǎngluò.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) Perhaps there is some confusion on the part of your company about the goals of the Scientific Development policy. The Ministry seeks to increase efficiency through the refinement and modernization of our existing system. We value your expertise but we are not soliciting an American version of the Chinese internet.
MARSHALL: Respectfully, Minister, that’s the thing, I’m having some difficulty working under the auspices of a development policy I’ve been given next to no information about.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) We are working under a policy we have been given no information about.
关于我们遵守的政策，我们什么都不知道。
Guānyú wǒmen zūnshǒu de zhèngcè, wǒmen shénme doū bùzhīdaò.
LARRY: (hissed) Marsh.
MARSHALL: If there was some transparency around your goals for this project, for Golden Shield, other than, you know, to ‘make efficient’, then maybe we could provide some actionable solutions.
THE TRANSLATOR: (out) This isn’t going well. I’ll just say he wants to know the goals. (beat) He’d like some clarification on the goals for the project.
他希望知道项目的明确目标。
Tā xīwàng zhīdào xiàngmù de míngquè mùbiāo.
Beat.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: (to the Translator) Put up the slide.
打开幻灯片。
Dǎkāi huàndēngpiàn.
THE TRANSLATOR: (to Larry, Marshall) She’s asked me to put up the slide.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: The primary goals / of the Golden Shield Project are as follows:
金顿工程的主要目标如下:
Jīndùn gōngchéng de zhǔyào mùbiāo rúxià:
THE TRANSLATOR: The primary goals of the Golden Shield Project are as follows:
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: To increase China’s digital security.
加强中国的数据安全。
Jiāqiáng Zhōngguó de shùjù ānquán.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) To increase China’s digital security.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: To target superstitious, pornographic, violent and other harmful information.
针对迷信，淫秽，暴力还有其它的有害信息。
Zhēnduì míxìn, yínhuì, bàolì háiyǒu qítāde yǒuhài xìnxī.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) To target superstitious, pornographic, violent and other harmful information.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: And to combat internet crime by terrorist organizations like Zhuangzi and other hostile actors.
另外还要严打由恐怖组织比如说庄子和其他反华分子造成的 网络犯罪。
Lìng wài há yào yán dǎ yóu koňg bù zǔ zhī bǐ rú shuō Zhuāngzǐ hé qí tā fǎn húa fèn zǐ zào chéng de wǎng luò fàn zuì.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) And to combat internet crime by terrorist organizations like Zhuangzi and other hostile actors.
DEPUTY MINISTER GAO: We can make this document available to their board.
我们可以给他们董事会提供这个文件。
Wǒmen kěyǐ gěi tāmen doňgshìhuì tígōng zhège wénjiàn.
THE TRANSLATOR: She says they are happy to make this document available to your board before you continue with these meetings.
LARRY: Thank you, for all of this, we will—we will definitely pass this document on.
THE TRANSLATOR: He says he would like to take this document with him.
他说他想把这份文件带走。
Tāshuō tā xiǎng bǎ zhèfèn wénjiàn dàizoǔ.
LARRY: (to Marshall) You happy? They’re sharing their Orwellian goals.
MARSHALL: She’s stalling. (to the Translator) Don’t translate that.
THE TRANSLATOR: Of course. (to the Minister) They think you’re stalling. (to the audience) I translated it.
他们认为您正在拖延时间。
Tāmen rènwéi nín zhèngzài tuōyán shíjiān.
MARSHALL: Look. Minister. I’m gonna level with you.
LARRY: (noise)
MARSHALL: You want a heavy-duty firewall. That’s a fact. Right now, it’s real slow. That’s the second fact. Now here’s the third fact: during the Olympics, it’s gonna get a helluvalot slower. And what I’m saying is, eventually you’re gonna have to confront the fact that the problem with the system—is the system itself. So to solve that problem, you have to change the system.
THE TRANSLATOR: (staggered) You want a heavy-duty firewall. That’s a fact. At the moment, it’s slow. That’s the second fact. Third fact: during the Olympics, it’s going to get slower. You have to understand that the problem with your system is the system itself. To solve that problem, you have to change the system.
Golden Shield Page 3