by Lara Wynter
“So, let's get as much of this album finished while we wait for Jasper to find a lead,” Jase says. “If you need to go again, then we cover for you as best we can.” He holds out a hand between us. “Agreed?”
We all place our hands over his. “Agreed,” we chant in unison.
“We can keep our ears to the ground as well,” Harrison adds. “If the other staff here know anything, I’m sure we can find out.”
Will nods. “I’ve become quite friendly with a certain maid who cleans my room. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to tell me anything she knows.”
I frown. “Just make sure you don’t let on that you're pumping her for information.”
Will raises his blond eyebrows. “I can be subtle.”
“As a sledgehammer,” Jase replies with a smirk. “I’ll do a much better job with Chloe.”
“Wanna bet?” Will replies.
“Guys,” Harrison interjects, “There will be no competing and no bets. A young woman's life is at stake here.”
Will and Jase hang their heads, looking suitably chastised.
As much as I appreciate their support, I don’t think I can talk about this anymore right now. “I’m going for a ride.”
“What about archery?” Will asks. “You can’t bow out now. We haven’t finished.”
“Sorry, guys. I need to be alone for a while.”
I feel their concerned stares on my back as they watch me leave, but at least they don’t try to stop me.
Chapter Three
Willow
I kick at the door to my bedroom in frustration. Hopping on one foot, I clutch at my throbbing toe. Rudy ordered his goons to lock me in my bedroom when we got back to the mansion three days ago. Guess he doesn't trust me like he used to. And he’s not wrong. I’ll rat him out in a heartbeat given even the slightest chance.
I put on some music and limp over to the barre against the mirrored wall and ease into a warmup. Never have I been more glad that my oversized room has polished timber floors and a dance barre. If I can’t leave, at least I still have my first love of dance to turn to.
Having finished warming up, I begin work on some choreography. My head drifts to the side, and my eyes close as I take a moment to listen. The melody is haunting — yet there is a touch of hope… or am I just imagining that, given my current situation? Will Rudy ever trust me enough to let me out of his sight? Will I be allowed outside unaccompanied? If not, I’ll never get away, and I’ll be at the mercy of his whims and fancies that can change in the blink of an eye.
I let my body move to the music. Not concentrating on the individual steps, my body flows with moves perfected over years of tutoring. Now appearing effortless. Those turns and leaps once so painful and exacting are now simply a part of who I am and who I long to be. It’s through dance that I obtain the freedom that is denied me. The music runs through my veins, the power, an addictive and unstoppable force that can’t be denied. Sweat drips into my eyes and beads of perspiration gather like those on a chilled glass in a warm room before collecting together and running in tiny rivulets down my spine. I dance on and on until the music ends and my weary limbs collapse to the floor.
I remain in a prone position, having no desire to move. Deep down, I know it’s bad to not walk and stretch my overused muscles and ligaments, but I just can’t find the will to care. A shiver runs through me as my limbs grow cold and stiff. A groan escapes my parched lips.
“Mea. Mea Culpa! What do you think you’re doing?” Rudy's large, rough hands grab me and lift me up. He carries me over to the bed and lays me down gently, pulling a blue blanket over me. But I don’t want gentle; not from him. He is torture and pain. Not beauty and grace.
He holds a glass to my lips, and I drink. He keeps it there until the water is all gone. “This is not what I expect from you, Mea. You need to take care of yourself.”
I nod my head. “I just overdid it a little. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”
He frowns and pins me to the bed with his penetrating stare. “You’re home now. It is my fervent hope that things can return to normal. Haven’t I always treated you like a daughter? I have given you every desire of your heart.”
It’s been a while since I’ve seen Rudy in such a wistful state. Occasionally, he likes to pretend he is the perfect father and I am his child. As if I could ever forget that he took me from my rightful parents. It’s easier when he’s his normal cold self. This Rudy is even more dangerous and unpredictable.
I need to watch my every word and expression. “I’ve been lonely since I returned home.” I drop my gaze to my hands. “I want things to return to normal too.”
“Good.” He nods. “I have some special visitors coming tomorrow night. I need you to be your best.”
Looks like I’m finally going to be allowed out of this room. I allow myself to smile. “I will be. What is it you need me to do?”
I try to keep my expression neutral as he speaks, and dread runs down my spine.
I do up the zipper on my red, thigh-length, empire waist dress. The gauzy chiffon floats softly around me as I move. Rudy likes to dress me in childlike attire with a bold color that hints at the depravities he and his friends enjoy. I slip on my half sole dance shoes that allow me to turn with ease while still giving the appearance of being barefoot.
My thoughts turn briefly to Joss. Where is he now? Is he still at Cedar Valley Ranch? Has he made a full recovery from being drugged by Rudy? Does he think of me as often as I do of him? I push those thoughts away. I can’t be thinking of Joss if I’m going to be able to do what Rudy wants me to do tonight. And if I don’t do what Rudy wants, I’ll never regain his trust, and he’ll never let me leave here alone again. Will Joss ever forgive me? Does he even care?
Stop it, Willow. Of course he cares. You are Willow. You are NOT Mea. Not any more.
I walk slowly toward the ballroom. The room is set up just how I remember it. A group of comfortable chairs cluster to one side with a large open area in the middle of the room. A baby grand piano sits in the far corner, reminding me of Joss. I look away and instead focus on taking slow, steady steps into the center of the room.
I know well what is expected of me now. I stop in the middle of the room, head down, one foot extended slightly behind me, hands by my sides. Perhaps I’ll stand like this for five minutes, perhaps an hour. It’s all part of the mind games. Instead of worrying about it, I let my mind drift.
In my mind, I’m back at the ranch. My memory takes over. I see Joss with his chiseled jaw and dark, silky locks. He leans in closer and a shiver runs through me.
“I’m going to kiss you now. Unless you don’t want me to?”
I bite my lip. “I want you to.” My heart thumps into overdrive as Joss bends down and his lips crush against my own. His hands move around to cup the back of my head. My arms slide around his back and I grab a fistful of his shirt. My eyes drift closed as the kiss intensifies. We’re all tangled together in the most delightful way as we continue to kiss. If this never ends, I won’t complain. I just want to get closer to him. I want to forget where I end and he begins.
Soft music starts playing and I’m pulled unwillingly from my memories. Tonight I may be dancing in front of Rudy and his guests, but I’m not dancing for him. Instead, in my mind, I picture stormy blue eyes and mussed dark hair as my body glides effortlessly to the music. Years of training make my movements flow seamlessly from one form to the next. My feelings for Joss are something that Rudy can’t take from me. He can make me jump through his hoops, but I will not be his plaything any more. Inside, where it matters, I belong to myself, and only I can decide what to think and feel.
I leap through the air and it feels like I’m flying. My body is captive once again, but my mind is free. I’m no longer Mea, the insecure young girl too afraid to leave. I am Willow, and I will bide my time and leave this place. Alive and free if possible, but no matter what, I will not remain to do the bidding of a monster.
The music en
ds, and my heart pounds as my breath pushes in and out. Beads of sweat glisten on my skin. Staccato clapping punctuates the silence. I raise my eyes to the group of men. Rudy beckons me over from where he sits, surrounded by his business associates.
Head held high, I walk over and come to a stop before him. Rudy turns to a man who sits on his right.
“Didn’t I tell you she was something else?” Rudy smiles like a doting parent except the light doesn’t reach his eyes. They remain cold and black, as always.
They say eyes are the windows to the soul and they’re right. Rudy’s soul is as black as tar.
The man nods. “You were right. She is exquisite.”
I take a moment to examine him more fully. His hair is mid-brown, just starting to gray around the temples. His nose is large and curved, offsetting a square jaw. His eyes are flat and indiscernible, but the company he keeps tells me all I need to know about him.
“Mea, this is my new business partner, Vance. I want you to make him feel welcome.”
We exchange fake pleasantries as if this were a normal social setting, and I was not here against my will.
Vance stands and offers me his hand. “Would you care to dance?”
Out of habit, my gaze flicks to Rudy’s. He nods his approval. I place my hand in Vance’s, and he clutches it tightly and leads me back to the empty space in the middle of the room. The music starts up again, and I’m not surprised to find Vance is only a mediocre partner. Hopefully, I won't be getting my toes trampled on tonight in my dance shoes that offer little protection.
He leads me around the floor in the steps of the waltz, an elegant dance when performed well. If only it was Joss’s arms I was in. If only it was anywhere but here.
Chapter Four
Willow
I straighten the soft folds of the long, midnight-blue gown and make a final inspection in the mirror. My hair and make-up look flawless. At least I’m allowed out of my room for meals now, but only accompanied. I still haven’t had a moment to find out anything — let alone a chance to leave the mansion.
My shadow, Leo, waits outside my door to escort me to dinner. Resisting the urge to rub my sweaty palms on my dress, I hold my head high and walk to the dining room. I enter the room and inhale sharply. Only three places have been set at the long table. Rudy and Vance are already seated. They both smile at me as I take my seat opposite Vance. Rudy has his usual place at the head of the highly polished table. A jackal ruling over his kingdom of death and decay.
I make polite conversation while my head whirls. This is the fourth time Vance has been here for a meal in the past ten days. And now it’s just the three of us. I’m scared of what this might mean. What does Rudy plan to do? Why have I been included in this dinner? If he’s just a business associate, I shouldn’t have been included. The urge to run back to my room is growing by the second.
I pick up my glass and take a sip of water. “How have you been enjoying your time in Seattle, Vance?”
“It’s been very.” Vance pauses to give me a smarmy smile. “Profitable. Let's just say business has never been so enjoyable.”
Edith comes in with the entrees and places a plate of something that looks more like a tiny, slimy sculpture than anything I want to put in my mouth. My mind slips back to my visit to “Ma ’n’ Pop’s Diner with Joss on our drive to his ranch.
I sit down at the old-fashioned booth and pick up the menu. My eyes keep drifting to peek at Joss over the top of the laminated cardboard. My stomach flutters as I take in his chiseled jaw and stormy-blue eyes. I force my eyes back down.
“Mmm, cherry pie,” I say, not sure if my murmured appreciation is all for the thought of pie.
“You like cherry pie, huh?”
I bite my lip, suddenly feeling nervous. “Well, I’m not sure actually, but I saw this movie where they were eating cherry pie and saying how amazing it was, and seeing as how it’s on the menu, I think I’m going to have to try a slice.”
“Before or after your salad?”
I look up in surprise. “Doesn't pie come after the main meal?”
Joss reaches out and runs his thumb along the top of my hand. “Only if you want to be traditional.” His eyes sparkle with mischief.
My breath catches in my throat. “Let's be nontraditional, then.” Our gazes lock, and I can’t look away. “I think I like the sound of that.”
Joss smiles again.
“Mmm.” My eyes drift closed as I place a forkful of food into my mouth, but as soon as it hits my tongue, my eyes pop open and I struggle not to spit it out. In my mind, I was eating cherry pie with Joss. The jolt back to reality is jarring.
“It’s good, right?” Vance asks me from across the table. “I had them make it up especially for you.”
I try not to gag and force myself to swallow the slimy concoction. “So thoughtful. What dish is it?”
Vance answers around a mouthful of food. “Peruvian fish ceviche.” He swallows and takes a sip of wine. “It’s made by marinating raw fish in acid.”
“Fascinating.” I push the remaining raw-fish slush around on my plate. I wonder if I can get away with excusing myself and throwing up the mouthful I’ve already eaten?
Vance grins enthusiastically. “I know, right? The acids combine with the fish, giving it the appearance of having been cooked.”
At least I notice Rudy hasn’t finished his entrée either, so hopefully I won't need to.
I nod and smile. “When do you plan to head back to Alaska?” Rudy’s being unusually quiet. It’s disturbing. I’ve never known him to be so reticent. Normally, he’s not happy unless he's monopolizing the conversation.
Vance glances at Rudy and back to me. “I may be making the move here a permanent one. Rudy and I are still ironing out the final details of our,” he coughs, “arrangement.”
I nod. Relieved as the fish is removed and a plate of much more appetizing beef bourguignon is placed in front of me. I know better than to ask for more information about their business dealings.
“Do you have any free time tomorrow, Mea?” Vance surprises me by asking.
I look to Rudy for help.
Rudy smiles coldly. “Yes, Mea, what are your plans tomorrow?”
I pick up my napkin and dab my lips to stall. Obviously, I can’t say that I’ll be spending the day locked in my room again. “I think I have some time free.” I answer vaguely.
Vance looks at me boldly. “Wonderful. How do you feel about oysters?”
What is this guy's obsession with smelly, slimy fish? “I can’t say I’ve given it a lot of thought.” I reply noncommittally to avoid lying.
Rudy shoots me a dangerous look. Oops, guess that wasn't the right answer.
Vance covers my hand on the table with his own. “I have a friend who owns an oyster and sashimi bar. I was thinking about taking a drive out there and I thought you might like to accompany me.”
I pause trying to think of a way I can avoid his request. Suddenly, being locked in my room doesn’t sound so unappealing anymore.
“She’d be delighted,” Rudy replies for me. “Of course, Leo will have to accompany her. I can’t be too careful with my beautiful Mea.”
“Wonderful,” Vance replies, as if I’ve accepted his proposal myself. “I shall pick you up at 11 a.m. Mea.”
I smile while my stomach churns. I don’t like my chances of escaping with Leo coming with us. But at least he might stop Vance from getting too handsy.
Who am I kidding, if Rudy has approved this, no one will care what Vance does to me.
Chapter Five
Joss
I stare at the text from Jasper, my head of security. “Are we finished for the day?” I ask my bandmates, eager to go and find Jasper.
Edgar gives me the thumbs up from the control room to signal that he’s okay with what we’ve got.
Jase looks up from his drum kit. “I’m happy with what we’ve done today. Why, what’s up?”
“Nothing important.” I glance
meaningfully to the control room where our sound engineer, Edgar, and a few others sit. “Just thought I might head to the gym.”
Jase nods. “Good idea. You want company?”
“Nah, I’m good.” I place my guitar back on the stand. “You want to all meet up for a swim later tonight?”
Will grins. “Excellent idea. I’ll see if Chloe and Amber can sneak in.”
Harrison clears his throat meaningfully. “I think Joss wants us to have a band meeting later. That means no extras allowed.”
“Oh!” Will says as if a lightbulb has just gone off in his brain. “Right, a band meeting.”
I shake my head slowly. As much as the guys want to help, they would never make good spies. Subtle is not really in their wheelhouse. I text a quick reply to Jasper as I exit the studio. At least I’m genuinely happy with what we’ve accomplished today. After a week of trouble focusing with my mind in turmoil over Willow, I finally managed to focus on the music for a few hours at least.
The rest of the band really deserves a medal for putting up with me. I know I’ve been mopey and lacking the focus that usually comes so easily in the studio. But Willow’s safety means so much more than any album ever could. It’d be the same if anything happened to anyone in the band. My inner circle is small, but I’d move heaven and earth to protect them.
I make a quick detour to get changed before heading to the gym. I made the mistake last time of heading straight there when Jasper wanted to meet up, still in my jeans. Jasper gave me a tongue lashing I won’t soon forget about always keeping up appearances. He’s right, of course. We still don’t know who might be watching. Hopefully, today he has some more news on that front.
Jasper is the only one in the room. He’s lying on the weight bench, pressing more weight than most people could ever hope to achieve. I position myself on the rowing machine beside him and begin to warm up. Even though he’s checked this room for listening devices, the swish of the machine will help cover our conversation.