by Lola Glass
Why did I find his hesitation so damn sexy?
I opened my mouth to lay into him when I noticed the device in his hand, a phone the same model as the one he’d had earlier but with a hot pink case. Much fancier than the crappy phone I’d bought to maintain contact with Bodhi and rarely took out of my apartment. Had I even remembered to bring it?
Shit. No. It was still plugged in on the side of my mattress.
“I noticed you didn’t have a phone. Thought it might come in handy.” Roman held it out.
“Thanks.” I nodded but made no move to go grab it. Roman leaned up against the doorway, his uncertainty seemingly gone now that I’d thanked him for the phone.
“What do you think of the apartment?” He nodded toward the couch.
“It’s beautiful.”
He waited for me to say more, but I didn’t open my mouth.
“But…” He trailed off, prompting me to keep talking. I knew I should keep my trap shut and tell him to go home, but I wanted to talk to him. It had been a long time since I actually wanted to talk to someone. So I talked.
“It’s too perfect. I’ll ruin it.”
“Ah.” Roman took a step in and paused like he was waiting for me to kick him out. I wouldn’t do that, though. Not when I still wanted to talk to him. He took another few steps in and shut the door behind him. “Change bothers most people.”
“I should be used to it by now.” I’d definitely been through enough of it.
“You can’t get used to things changing. Everyone wants stability, at least to an extent.” Roman countered.
“Even if that’s true, it’s useless.” I leaned against the table and folded my arms.
“Not useless. Accepting that change is going to suck allows you to prevent it from screwing with you.”
“Then what does a big, bad Alpha like yourself do to deal with change?” I challenged. Roman’s eyes glinted and he moved further into the apartment, covering some of the distance between us.
“I’ll do something unexpected. Like tonight, I’m thinking I’ll spend the whole evening naked just to take the focus off the fact I won’t be shifting for the first time in my life.”
I bit back a grin. The corners of his lips tilted upward like he’d noticed the expression I held back. Which was impossible, because I was a master at concealing my emotions.
Roman looked around the room. “If everything seems too perfect, why don’t we just screw it up?” He grabbed a pillow and tossed it across the room. My eyes followed it across the floor, stopping when it hit the window-wall.
When I didn’t respond, he grabbed another pillow and threw it at me. I caught it instinctively and then threw it right back. He dodged. Rapid-fire, he shot three more pillows my way. I spun behind the countertop and the pillows thudded into the cabinets behind my head.
“Come on Henley, it’s just a house full of stuff. Stuff is meant to be used.” Roman tossed another pillow just as I stepped out of the kitchen. It hit me square in the face.
“This is war.” I grabbed the pillow off the floor and threw it back, aiming for his face. He ducked and launched another pillow my way.
I grabbed another one from the ground and used it as a shield, blocking the one flying at me. Another pair of pillows sailed my direction, and I shielded against them too.
“Surrender or die.” Roman’s rumble made me laugh. The sound surprised me. It had been ages since I laughed.
“Hell no,” I yelled back
The pillows collided with my shield rapidly, harder and faster than before. I stumbled backward with a shout after a particularly powerful hit and barely managed to catch myself. When I righted, I found Roman stalking toward me. He’d run out of pillows.
If I was going to win, it was time for action.
I charged toward him, throwing all my weight behind my shoulder and ramming him hard. Because I caught him off guard, he lost his balance and fell backward. Roman grabbed my hip and ass and held my body against his, Roman crashing into the floor while I crashed into him.
“You’re heavier than you look.” He grunted.
I held the pillow to his throat and said, “I win.”
His eyes gleamed, and he had me on my back in an instant, pinning me to the floor with his body. Every part of me flushed.
“Now I win.”
“It ended when I won.” I countered. “You already lost.”
“I never lose.”
“You do now.”
Our faces were inches apart, bodies tight against each other. I’d never felt so alive.
“If this is what losing to you feels like, next time I’ll surrender.” His low growl practically caught me on fire.
“Who says there’ll be a next time?” My voice was breathier than intended. Shit.
Instead of answering, Roman caught a strand of my hair and lifted it to his nose, maintaining eye contact as he inhaled deeply. His eyes shifted, fangs elongating as he took in the scent of me. “Mine.” The low growl gave me goosebumps all over, but the possessiveness was a red flag I sure as hell wasn’t ready to deal with.
“Get off.” I pushed at his arm and he lifted his weight from me instantly.
Why did that turn me on so much?
“It’s getting late. You should go.” I stood abruptly. Roman looked like he was going to argue. “Now.” The word came out sharper than intended.
He nodded once and left the apartment, shutting the door tightly behind himself. The apartment suddenly felt far too big and far too empty.
FOUR
I was up late messing up my apartment after calling in sick to work. While I wasn’t physically ill, my interaction with my new Alpha had me feeling all out of whack.
By the time I was done my sheets and blankets were wrinkled, pillows strewn everywhere like they’d been caught up in Hurricane Henley. Throw blankets were spread at random, kitchen chairs deposited without pattern. Clean dishes sat in the sink and on the counters, and bathroom towels in the shower and on the floor.
I knew it was silly, but Roman was right. Messing up the perfection made me feel better. I’d clean it up in a few days when I didn’t feel so out of place.
Sleep didn’t come to me easily that night. I dreamt of being chained and trapped and entirely helpless. It was the one feeling I hadn’t managed to get past; the feeling of being completely and utterly out of control.
By the time I finally pulled my exhausted ass out of bed, it was 3 PM and I was somehow even more tired than I’d been when I fell asleep. After showering in that fancy, glorious shower, I called Bodhi at the nightclub to let him know I was feeling better and would be at my shift that evening. Kyler had already told him I might be in and out for a few weeks, so that was sort of cool.
Also sort of weird.
But what wasn’t weird about my life at the moment?
My shift started at five, so I texted Arla the time I was leaving so an enforcer would be ready and then got dressed.
Two girls and a guy waited for me outside my apartment. One was a petite brunette with olive skin who looked so perfect she resembled a marble statue, the other a tall blonde with giant blue eyes. The girls chatted while the guy—tall with light hair, like the girl—was on his phone. A quick sniff of the air told me the statue and the guy were mated; they smelled the same.
“I’m Lilac. Ready?” the blonde girl chirped.
“I thought I only had to take one person with me.” I told the three of them. Three people wasn’t anywhere near one; it was like having a set of bodyguards with me instead of an unwanted friend.
“The Alphas disagreed about how to keep you safe. This is their compromise.” The statue explained. “I’m Jamie.” She held out her hand. I shook it awkwardly. “My mate’s name is Oliver.” She gestured to the guy on his phone. He hadn’t looked up when I came out of my room. Most mated couples would touch as they met new people, marking one another as their territory. Jamie and Oliver didn’t touch.
Odd.
Not o
dd enough to distract me from the obvious contradiction to the deal I’d made with the Alphas.
We headed to the elevator together.
“It was amazing not having to shift last night, Henley. Thank you.” Jamie gave me a small but genuine smile, and I nodded. What was I supposed to say to that?
We stepped inside when it arrived and I hit the button for the forty-fifth floor.
“What are you doing?” The blonde chick asked.
Lilac. Her name was Lilac.
“Having a word with the male Alpha.”
The elevator rose a bit and opened up to the hallway. I strode right into the Alpha’s office with hell on my heels. He was in the middle of a meeting with a couple other guys, and they all paused to look at me when I threw the door open and stalked inside.
“Who do you think you are?” I crossed the room to slam my hands down on his desk. He didn’t flinch, meeting my eyes head-on. “I gave you an out. I told you I expected you to force me to join your pack and treat me the same way all the other Alphas did. Instead of taking me up on it, you lied to me. You told me I’d still be free, you offered me money, you conned me into feeling just the tiniest bit of hope. You’re not the same as the other Alphas; you’re worse.”
With that, I spun around and blazed out of the room. The enforcers stood just outside the elevator, eyes big and round.
“We’re not done.” Roman stepped between me and the enforcers, his gigantic frame blocking me from their view. His eyes were dark and angry, fists clenched at his sides.
“Yeah, we are.” I tried to step around him and he blocked me again.
“Give me one minute.” He stared me down, daring me to disagree. For that reason alone, I nearly did.
“One.” I snapped.
He strode into his office, growling for everyone to get out. I followed him in, glowering at him as he slammed the door behind the guys.
“I got a call from the Alpha of Colorado. Ledger King.”
My body went rigid.
“That name means something to you.”
I swallowed hard but said nothing. Whatever anger I’d been feeling? Gone. Long gone. Replaced solely with fear.
“According to Ledger, the two of you were moments away from mating when another Alpha stole you away six months ago.”
I folded my arms over my chest. It could’ve been an attempt to make myself look bigger and tougher, but I folded inward and it made me feel smaller and weaker.
“He lied.”
“What did he do to you?” Roman’s gaze was gentle. Too gentle. It made me want to spill the truth, which was dangerous.
“Nothing.” Lie. “You should’ve told me the second he called.”
“I handled it.”
“What if you hadn’t? Don’t you think I deserve to know when I’m in danger?”
“I think you deserve to feel safe.”
“I feel safe when I know what’s going on.” I shot back.
“What did Ledger do to you?” Roman brought us back to that topic.
“If it were your business, you’d already know.”
He grabbed my wrist as I went to leave again. The gesture could’ve been threatening, but his fingers were gentle on my skin. Turning me around, he lifted my hand between us and gestured to my ugly knuckles.
“Is he the one you punched?”
I pulled myself from his grip and stepped back, away from the Alpha and his barrage of questions I wasn’t ready or willing to answer.
“Why does he think you’re his?” Roman prodded. I wanted to punch him in the face at that point.
“The question you should be asking yourself is why you think I’m yours.”
“He’s the one you came here hiding from.” Roman gave up on the questions. “He hurt you.”
“Drop it.” My voice was sharp. Roman ran a hand over his head. He was hatless now, so I could see he wore his dark hair buzzed close to his scalp. Not a look many men could pull off, but he wore it well. “The enforcers can come with me, but you call me if you even think he’s considering coming to New York.”
I walked out of the door, heart thumping wildly in my chest.
“Why?” Roman’s breath tickled my neck. I hadn’t heard him following me, but he was a predator.
So I can run again.
“None of your damn business, Alpha.”
That tag on the end was to remind me exactly who he was.
An Alpha. Someone I couldn’t trust.
The trip down the elevator and walk to the nightclub was a bit awkward, but it could’ve been worse. When we made it there, the bouncer let us in ahead of the waiting crowds. My babysitters split up, Jamie (the statue) taking the only open seat at the bar while Oliver, her mate, found a spot leaning against the wall. Lilac, the tall blonde, hit the dance floor.
It was a weekend and the place was packed. It was always packed, but weekends were the worst.
I mixed and served drinks, ignoring the strobe lights flashing over the dance floor to my right and only making conversation when it was required. Last call wouldn’t be until 4, but typically the crowd thinned significantly between 2 and 3.
The guy sitting next to Jamie left his seat, and Lilac hurried to claim it after hours and hours of dancing. Her hair was up in a ponytail, her face flushed and chest rising and falling quickly.
“This place is awesome. I can’t believe we haven’t been here before.” She exclaimed.
Considering she’d shifted every night until I joined the pack the day before, I believed it.
Jamie yawned and nodded, leaning forward in her chair. She’d sipped one drink for ages, and I think she’d only done it to fit in with the crowds. At some point Oliver had moved to a small booth, his forehead wrinkling as he focused on his phone. He had yet to look up for more than half a second. From what I’d seen, he seemed like a fairly boring guy.
Someone flagged me down and I refilled his drink, grabbing the cash he slid across the bar.
“Did you smell the way Roman’s scent changed?” I heard Lilac laughing. Jamie’s eyes drifted over to me, and I walked back to them. I wouldn’t admit it out loud, but I wanted to know more about the Alpha. Lilac giggled like a maniac.
She’d had an impressive number of drinks. At least, impressive for a rich girl who clearly didn’t drink often. She’d have one hell of a headache when she stopped. “He smells so good.”
“He smells like he’s chasing someone.” Jamie agreed.
I swallowed, hard.
I’d heard a man’s scent changed when he was pursuing a woman; it got earthier, more animalistic as he tuned into the hunter within. I’d never spent enough time around a guy before and during that time of his life to smell the change for myself.
Lilac leaned forward on the bar, her arms resting on the cool countertops. “He’s finally ready. I’ve waited ten years for this day.” She wore an almost-creepy smile. Chick seriously needed to stop drinking. “I’d give my left boob to mate with that man.”
Trading an entire boob for a mate seemed a bit drastic to me, but hey. To each their own.
Jamie gently bit down on her bottom lip, shooting me a glance I couldn’t read. I’d never been great at reading people.
“Why the left one?” I wondered.
Someone else waved at me before Lilac could answer, and I stepped away from the enforcers to mix a quick drink before going back to the girls.
“What could have set off his beasty bits?” Lilac mused. I choked on a laugh at her description of his wolf side. “Because we know there’s no woman in his life. Other than me. Maybe the last time I was waiting naked and ready for him on his desk triggered him. That was what, three days ago? He’s totally going to show up with flowers at my door.”
Jamie shot me another look I couldn’t read.
“What do you think?” Lilac looked up at me.
“Me?” I checked. Because I sure as hell didn’t want to get anywhere near that question. Roman’s scent hadn’t changed since the moment
I met him, which meant he’d either wanted me before I scented him or he was already chasing some other girl. Seemed like Lilac might be a good candidate.
“Yeah.” She nodded at least six more times than necessary.
Crazy-ass drunk.
“Well, it’s possible. I’ve heard men respond well to nudity.” I offered. Part of me was hurt by the idea of Roman chasing after another girl, but I shunned the emotion.
Jamie’s eyebrows lifted.
“Well, he didn’t before. I’ve made sure he catches me naked and horny at least once a week for the past year and a half. But last time, I wore red nail polish. That could’ve been it.”
I choked. Hard. That laugh wasn’t easy to swallow.
“Whatever you say.” It wasn’t worth arguing over or even upsetting her.
A few customers pulled me away, and it was twenty minutes before I was beside the girls again. Lilac had moved from exhilarated and giggly to tired and forlorn, her head resting on her arms as she stared moodily at one of the chandeliers over the bar.
“You should probably get her home before she starts crying.” I told Jamie, who grimaced and shook her head.
“We have to stay with you.”
“Sucks to be you.” I glanced up at the clock on the wall. It was 2:45, so I still had an hour and fifteen minutes until last call came around and I could go home.
“I kind of like it here.” Jamie admitted. “It’s so loud I can’t really think.” She paused for a second. “That probably makes me sound insane.
“I get it.” I told her. And I did. Bars and clubs hadn’t been my happy place since I lost my mom, but I could understand why they were some people’s thing. To me, it was just my workplace.
“I’m going to tell Roman I’m in love with him.” Lilac announced, sitting up straight and determined. The alcohol was speaking through her, so I didn’t put much credit into what she said.
“You did that three days ago.” Jamie met my gaze and rolled her eyes. The corner of my lips quirked upward. “Roman made it clear he’s not interested in a future as your mate.”
Ouch. I mean, this chick seriously needed a dose of reality but still… Ouch.
“He’s coming around.” Lilac insisted. “He asked me to go buy a phone for Henley yesterday when his assistant could’ve done it. He’s realizing how perfect we’d be together.”