I took two deep breaths, exhaled, smiled.
- When you come near me, I just turn into a sex machine. Is that how you do it with all the women or in one?
Mecislav was watching me with a smile.
- Only you, Fluffy, can tell me the truth in a way that's unpleasant.
I innocently slammed my eyelashes.
- Were you hoping I'd throw myself on your neck? Hurry and let the sun go out!
- You shouldn't say a word, Curly.
I shrugged my shoulders.
- It's possible. After all, who prevents you from just raping me? You already did it once.
- Julia! I don't rape women!
- I'm not telling the truth? Yes, there was no physical intimacy between us, but even that which was...
I unwittingly shuddered at the memories. We didn't have physical sex, but it was something metaphysical. That sex was one of my nightmares. I had dreams about everything that happened back then, I was going through that orgasm over and over again, and then... The end of those dreams is always the same. My total submission to a vampire. By dissolving. The disappearance of the personality. And it scared me so much that even the excitement went away. I was screaming and waking up in a cold sweat. These nightmares...
A vampire followed me through the eyes of a beast of prey.
- It was great for you and for me, Curly. But it wasn't violence. That's not the kind of thing I get into.
- Than mind violence is better than body violence? - I asked the whitewash on the ceiling. - Probably because there's no sign of it left for forensics. It's easy to say you're not into violence, but you know very well that everything that happened back then was against my will. If I'd known it was going to be like this, I'd have said no.
- Would you?
I think I managed to piss off the vampire. His voice sounded cold, like a draught through the room.
- The intimacy that was between us, Curly, is only possible by mutual consent. If you desire me, and I desire you. You may not admit it to yourself, you may deny the obvious from morning to night, but you do.
I put my eyes down. Yeah, that's what I really wanted. But I would never let you. There was a little logical contradiction. And I used it to say another disgusting thing.
- Yes, with my body, I wanted you. But with the mind, Danielle! Lust sex is much less than love sex. I know that for a fact, and I know it from experience. That's why you're right. I shouldn't accuse you of rape. You shouldn't give any weight to this little episode of my biography.
And the best part is the truth. Vampires can't lie? Some, anyway. But I'm not lying! I'm just not lying. I did try to make out with a boy at the institute. And I didn't feel anything. None of what I felt with Daniel. And not even with Mecislav. He doesn't count, though. Lust sex is really less than love sex. But the thing is, I don't know what kind of sex the two of us had. A simple wish wouldn't give such proximity to bodies and souls. I don't give a shit about that, though!
- You're just a little cheeky, Curly.
Now you can hear warm notes in his voice. He was sitting on the table, so incredibly handsome, so sexy, attracting me like a magnet, and so dangerous. I couldn't help but know that if I did, I would lose control of myself forever. As long as my body, my soul and my mind had only one mistress. And that's me. But as soon as I let the Prince of the city into my bed, in a week he would be deep in my soul - and I would not be able to resist him. And I won't. I'm still weak.
Danielle, darling, you've painted me different, but I'm far from that. I'm not like that at all. And that's why I can't let Mecislav near me. Yes, we may have delightful sex, but for me it's always been little! It's not all in life. With Daniel, I could have sunsets and sunrises. But not with Mieczysław. I'd rather imagine life with a jaguar. Or with his submissive tigers. I looked the vampire right in the eye.
- Am I the only one who's telling you the truth?
- You're the only woman around me who's so resistant to her desire.
I laughed sincerely.
- Have you slept with everyone else yet?
Mecislav didn't even think to unlock.
- I need sex. It's part of my vampire powers, if you will. Someday I'll explain in more detail and by example. Does that upset you, Curly?
- Why would it upset you? - I tried to look as indifferent as possible. I wonder what he meant by an example? Not me, I hope? - I have no rights to you, so I don't care who you spend time with. At least with three dinosaurs in front of the whole town, I don't care!
A gentle, diffuse smile was sliding down the face of a vampire.
- You're lying so cocky, my love, looking me right in the eye.
- Not yours and not love!
- Okay, baby. But you're not telling the truth.
I shrugged my shoulders.
- Well, just a little. But! - I was pretty scared. - If you think the behavior of a March cat will help you get me into bed, you're gravely mistaken!
A vampire slipped off the table and came up to me. He was standing so close that if I sighed full chest, my nipples would touch his shirt. I wouldn't back down. It was a sign of weakness.
- It's a necessity, Julia. It's just noblesse oblige. If you came into my life and bed, I would only give my love to you.
I didn't dare to develop a dangerous subject any further. Although my tongue itched to say that in that case one of us would have stayed in bed forever. With a aspen stake up his ass. But it wasn't worth it anymore. So I moved on to the most important thing.
- I almost let mine out today.
power
out of control.
The vampire's face instantly became serious. He pulled away from me and walked away to the table. I took a deep breath. Thank God! To be honest, a few more minutes of intimacy like that, and I couldn't stand it. And I don't need sex with the Prince of the city. I've got enough problems!
The vampire's green eyes were looking right at me. And now they weren't invited to have sex.
- Tell me everything that happened today, Curly. I could feel yours.
power
even in my dreams. And if you hadn't called, I would have come myself.
- I wouldn't have invited you home.
- But I wouldn't have left you standing under the door. Can you not poop me out?
- I can't. You're a hell of a lot older than me.
- What if I tried? I was only twenty-eight when I became a vampire, so I'm not that old.
I took a breath.
- A good upbringing has always poisoned my life. I can't do it any other way. Either you're patient, or we'll stop talking.
Bright green eyes were dancing with funny sparks.
- Tell me everything that happened, Curly. And we'll decide what we do.
I really didn't like the "we" and "we." But I didn't have a choice. Mechislav could twitch his cards from morning to evening, but in one thing he was absolutely right: I came to him for help. And demanding it, without sharing information, was simply stupid. So I took a look around the office.
- May I sit down?
- Of course you can, a leg. Everything I have belongs to you, too.
- Does that mean I belong to you, too? - I accepted the challenge.
The green eyes have become impenetrable. The face is like a perfect gold mask.
- You're my family name, Yulenka. My eternal companion. As long as we're alive. Whether you like it or not.
I'm down in my chair, away from stunning revelations.
- Let's just say that you did. I'm a surname. But I'm not your property!
- No, Curly, you're not my property. You're much more than that. You're my other half. You're part of me, just like I'm part of your soul and your mind.
The vampire suddenly found himself right in front of me. He was on his knees in front of my chair. His thin hands were on the armrests next to my palms. There was very little distance between our bodies. He only had to stretch out his hand to attract me to him. A quiet whisper made his head go craz
y.
- You and I are more than one. It's not affection. It's more than love, easier - and immeasurably more complicated than any human relationship. Incredibly difficult - and at the same time very simple and understandable. Together, we, the vampire and the surname, make up a single whole that is higher than both a human and a vampire. Together. You and me, my girl, we are inextricably linked. Accept it and do not resist the inevitable. It'll be a lot simpler and more pleasant when you realize it, believe me.
Heart often beats somewhere in the throat, dizzy. I could smell his perfume - a strange mixture of honey and exotic flowers. This fragrance enveloped me, taking away my will to resist. I knew for a few more minutes that I couldn't stop him. I wouldn't want to. I sprayed my lips and slowly, as if each letter weighed a ton, exhaled:
- No!
I didn't even notice when he got up from his knees - and now he was standing nearby, still as delightful and sensual. My fingers were soaked in the upholstery of the chair. It took a few minutes to regain consciousness and more or less begin to think. And the first protest came out of me.
- I'm not your other half! You're nothing to me, and I can't call you anything! There!
The vampire looked at me with pity.
- You don't want intimacy between us, Curly, but I've already entered your life and I won't disappear. What are you accusing me of? And why don't you want to see me? Then, after Daniel died, I didn't want you to answer. You were on the verge of madness, I could feel it. But now you're feeling better. You're not going to lose it. You're not gonna go crazy. And you're gonna be able to answer my questions. I'm sure you've accused me more than once in six months, but of what?! Why do you feel that way about me?! Look, I can't even say anything in my defense. This isn't fair.
Oh, are we talking about justice, too? But I have to hand it to Mieczysław: I could really go crazy then. He removed himself from my life - just enough to be invisibly present and remind me of myself, but not to be seen. And yet... His fault? Does he want to know? Does he have a right? Well, he'll regret his rights! I accepted the fight.
- Your fault is Daniel's death. No more and no less. I do not wish to see you for the same reason. He is dead, and you are alive. That's enough for me.
- And I'm not.
Mecislav turned around and walked into the room trying to get his thoughts together.
- Stop rushing around," I asked. - Let's talk about everything and break up, shall we?
- Oh, no. We have not yet closed the previous topic, Fluffy. It's really not my fault Daniel died, no matter how you want to blame me. Yes, he did, and I'm still alive. But a lot of people died, and you're still alive. And you don't think it's your fault that they died. Same André...
- He got what he deserved.
- Do you have to determine? Don't judge...
- Does the vampire quote the Bible? They wanted me dead, I was just defending myself. An eye for an eye, a jaw for a tooth!
- And the werewolves?
- It's the same thing.
- An impenetrable position.
- Yes, it is. Danielle's dead.
Pain has rinsed through her heart again with a clawed foot. Oh, Danielle, why did you leave me... How will I be all these years without you... Dusty years, gray days...
- And how could I have prevented his death?
- You promised him your protection - and you did not!
- I couldn't do it, Curly. At that moment, I needed protection myself.
- But you could have warned Ramirez! - I was clinging to a straw. - You could have told everyone that Danielle was under your protection! You could have talked to Elizabeth as soon as you arrived! Couldn't they?
- My girl, you know how ridiculous your claims are. Who would listen to me if it was not known whether I would live or not? Ramirez and Danielle are separate conversations, but it was harder to hate each other than they are. I won't go into that story now, but they had their reasons. There was a role and a personal dislike. Could I have prevented it? I don't think so. I didn't have time, and I didn't know about Elizabeth's orders.
- But you could have thought of it!
- I'm a vampire, not a prophet! You haven't thought about it, have you?
- No! Oh, if I had known then...
- Elizabeth hates me. I could have bought Daniel back from her, but not right away and for a lot of money. Or I could get the Council involved. She wouldn't listen to me until after the fight. Only the Prince of the city has weight in her eyes. And as for all the others to whom I could tell that Danielle was under my protection, did they decide anything? And don't tell me about Elizabeth's show! She would have thought of something to destroy a vampire she didn't want. Yes, she would. And that little fool who voted for his death is just a victim of circumstance. The only reason Anna survived was because her fault for my friend's death was almost gone. Someone else would have. Absolutely. So I just punished her, not killed her. At least I could have.
- What if I killed her?
- I don't think so. You're too decent for that.
- That's a shame.
- Sometimes I'm sorry, too. Any other charges against me?
There were no accusations. But it didn't make it any easier.
- We said I would only belong to you if Danielle stayed alive. He's dead.
- Yes, Curly. But you're alive. And it's stupid to bury yourself alive. Besides, you're not paying attention. The last name is not vampire property. And you're not my property. On the contrary, I belong to you more than you belong to me. And you want me to be there for you. You want everything you get from your new position. It's not me you're afraid of. You're afraid of yourself.
He was totally right.
- I hate you.
The vampire had a pretty smile.
- We've been through this before. Isn't it time we said something new? What brings you here despite all the hate?
- My brother.
- Your brother, Yulechka? I assume that's the young man who's sitting downstairs right now?
- Yes. He and his friend came to our town today...
I've been very brief about everything that's happened to me since 10:00 in the morning. True, while I was silent about the fact that my brother and his girlfriend had already killed two wolves. We'll talk about the details later when we start bidding on the price. The vampire listened carefully, without taking his eyes off my face. I think he realized there was something I wasn't telling him, but he was quiet. Bye? Or... In the end, I couldn't take it.
- Do I have a stain on my nose?!
- I'm sorry, Curly?
- You can't take your eyes off me. Soon you'll wipe the hole!
The vampire smiled charmingly. Of course, without showing his fangs, it's almost indecent at his age.
- I'm just trying to determine exactly what happened to you today. And I can't.
- What happened? My brother's apparition knocked me out. That's all.
- You haven't been in it lately. But it's not your psychological state I'm worried about, it's your spontaneous outburst. That's not what you're worried about, is it?
- But it isn't spontaneous. It's just that this fool has provoked me.
- Has it ever happened before?
- It's never happened before. But no one's ever done this to me. I lived in isolation, and then everything came back. And then it all came back. The power that was building up inside me spilled out. Suddenness, coincidence...
- And yet I want to know what it is: the loss of control or the transition of your abilities to a qualitatively new level. Will you let me?
- What should I allow? - I sat there and looked at him. What's the catch? The vampire understood everything from my perplexed face and smiled briefly.
- In order to feel you, I have to touch you.
I put my palms out in front of me.
- All your touches end in the same thing! In February, when I agreed to be your surname, I made a condition: you will receive only mine.
strength.
- Of course, Curly. I don't want to force you, so I haven't come all this time. You should have rested and calmed down.
I was screaming.
- You must have been told by now how I rested and calmed down.
- Everything about you is reported to me as soon as I wake up.
- I'm flattered," I snapped. - Didn't your employees plant bugs in my apartment?
- I ordered you not to do that.
- That's very kind of you.
- I know it's nice of you.
This time there wasn't a shadow of irony in his words. It seems the vampire really thought I should be grateful. I'm sorry. I'm going to have to disappoint him.
- You really think that I... I just didn't have the strength to say it out loud.
The vampire knew exactly what I meant, and he smiled.
- You, sweetie, are my last name. And you're wearing my mind seal. Whatever you do, you can't erase it. We can live with it as long as fate gives us. For a long time, I hope. That's why it's vital that we find common ground. And I suggest you start by dropping the excess...
strength.
- Excuse me?
- Girl, did it ever occur to you that your disgusting state is caused not so much by emotional distress as by an excess
strengths
? In the few days we spent together, you got used to giving away the surplus, and then when you decided to distance yourself from me,
power
started to accumulate inside your aura. You're really at your limit, Curly, but not out of sadness. It's just .
power
overflows you like helium is a balloon. If you don't get rid of it soon, it'll only get worse. And I offer my help. It's up to you, though.
I've been watching the vampire closely. The pretty face was still cold and nonchalant. It's as if everything that's going on has nothing to do with him. Can I believe him? No! But who, or what, then can I believe him? I don't have a crowd of teachers under my door with certified papers from the president.
- Do you think it'll be easier for us to talk to each other afterwards?
Ring of Madness Page 80