"Of course not. Aaron is like no other man.”
"Then why walk away from him?”
"Because . . .” Because what? Because she was deathly afraid that he'd walk away from her first. And then where would she be?
"Amani, you need to call him. I won't let you mess this up.”
"I can't.”
"Yes you can.” Suzette took Amani's hands in hers. “I know your relationship with Carl messed you up. But honestly, Carl being a dog had nothing to do with you. It had to do with his own insecurities.”
"Then why is he still happily married to Karen?”
"You don't know that he's happy.”
"I'm sure they are. It was me he couldn't live with.”
Suzette sighed as she let go of Amani's hands. She reached for the carafe of hot coffee. “Oh, no. I'm not going to let you start with this depressive talk. You know better than that.” She poured two mugs. “Thank God there's no one here. We're gonna sit down and have a nice long chat.”
Amani made her way around the counter. “I don't want to talk.”
"Amani—”
"No, Suzette. I'm serious. At least ... at least not right now. I need to think.”
A moment passed, then Suzette said, “All right. But I'm here if you need me.”
"I know.”
Days later, Suzette said to Amani, “I'm worried about you. The last time you were sick was when you and Carl split.”
Amani sniffled. “I'm fine. It's just a cold.”
"You never get colds.”
Amani pulled a Kleenex out of her pocket and blew her nose loudly. “It's that time of year.”
"You should go home. Get some rest. Call Aaron.”
Amani cut her eyes at her friend. “Please, don't start that again.”
Amani hadn't heard from Aaron since she'd left his place in the wee hours of Saturday morning. The last four days of her life had been utterly miserable, but at least now she knew the truth. She and Aaron had enjoyed a night of hot sex, but that was all they would ever share. He hadn't called to check up on her. She hadn't called him.
And while part of her yearned to phone him just to hear his voice, she knew that if she did, she'd look like a moron. He had to be thinking the worst about her as it was.
So she couldn't have been more surprised when, not more than an hour later, Aaron walked into the cafe. She'd recognize him anywhere, even bundled under a hat and scarf, wearing sunglasses and a long tweed coat.
"Oh my Lord.” Amani's heart thundered in her chest as a surge of warmth shot through her body.
But right after that initial reaction, self-doubt crept over her. Why was he here? To try and convince her to go to tomorrow night's class?
He was looking around, but hadn't yet seen her. That's because she was sitting on a chair in a far corner behind the counter. Suzette was among the customers, offering help, refilling coffee.
Amani watched as Aaron approached Suzette. Then cringed when she saw Suzette point in her direction.
Knowing she could no longer avoid Aaron, Amani stood. Feeling like a fool, she gave him a little wave.
Pulling his knit hat off his head, Aaron sauntered toward her. “Amani.”
Not hi, just Amani. This was bad.
She wiped her nose with the tissue. “Hello, Aaron.”
A beat, then, “My bed was cold after you left. I was hoping to hear from you.”
Amani opened her mouth to speak. But the words didn't come, and she cast her gaze to the ground.
"Don't do that, Amani. Don't hide.”
She lifted her eyes to his. “I . . . I'm sorry.”
"Sorry isn't what I want to hear.”
Amani drew in a deep breath. “I don't know what to say to you.”
"Really?” Aaron asked, disappointment in his tone. “We shared our bodies in the most intimate way, and you don't know what to say to me?”
"I just thought. . . thought it was best to leave.”
"Don't you like me?”
Amani's eyes bulged at the question. “Like you? I lo—” She caught herself, stopping short of blurting out her true feelings for him.
Aaron didn't seem to notice, thank God. He opened his coat. “Can we sit somewhere and talk?”
Talking was exactly what she didn't want to do. In the early years with Carl, she'd tried talking about how she felt with him. He'd made her feel so nervous that she tripped over her words. Carl would then belittle her, tell her she sounded like a fool and that her feelings were insignificant.
Funny, she hadn't remembered that until just now.
"I'm not good at talking,” she told Aaron.
"Then can we sit somewhere and you write your feelings down? I don't care how you express them to me, as long as you tell me what's going through your mind. Don't you think you owe me that much?”
He wasn't raising his voice. Wasn't telling her she was acting like an immature idiot. Instead, she saw a mix of warmth and fear in his eyes.
Fear? Fear that he'd lost her?
Inhaling a shaky breath, Amani walked toward a table near the window. The fireplace was a preferable location, but there were a few people there, and she wanted privacy.
"Let me take your coat,” she said to Aaron.
"I'm fine.”
He sat at the table, and Amani sat opposite him. She didn't speak though, just avoided his gaze.
"Did I do something wrong?” Aaron finally asked.
Amani looked at him in disbelief. “No. Why would you think that?”
"What else am I supposed to think? You told me you were coming back to bed, then you took off. Since then, I've waited for your call, not wanting to pressure you. I finally had to come here and see you.”
"I don't know why I left. I was just... I kinda thought . . .” She could barely get her words out. Frustrated, she slapped a hand against her forehead. “God, I sound like a moron.”
"Hey.” Aaron's tone was soft, gentle. He reached for her hand. “Why are you acting like this? What are you afraid of?”
"I don't even know how old you are.”
Aaron's face twisted with an expression of defeat. “You think I'm too old for you.”
He spoke as though he finally understood, but he didn't. “No,” Amani said. “That's not what I mean.”
"Then what do you mean?”
"We don't really know each other.”
"I'm thirty-eight, ten years older than you. Been married once, and that marriage ended in an ugly divorce. I'm an English teacher. I lead a pretty normal life. What else do you want to know?”
"I'm trying to be serious.”
"So am I. We got to know each other for a year, Amani. As teacher-student, but also as friends. What's this really about?”
"I'm afraid,” Amani whispered.
"Afraid of getting hurt?”
She nodded.
"How do you think I feel right about now?”
"I—” Was he saying that he was afraid of getting hurt? “I don't know.”
"No? I thought I wore my heart on my sleeve.”
"Every relationship I've had with a man has ended badly, starting with my own father. My mother told me that he came to see me after I was born, but you know what? He walked away and never came back. I was his own flesh and blood, yet he didn't want me.”
Aaron stroked his thumb across the top of Amani's hand. How had he not realized that she'd been carrying so much pain? “That's not your fault. It wasn't about you.”
"Carl said it was.”
"What? Your ex-husband?”
"Uh huh. He told me there was a reason my father didn't want me. Because he looked at me and saw that I was worthless.”
"Carl said that? “
A tear fell down Amani's face. She brushed it away. “Yes.”
"My God.”
"I didn't really remember that until now. I realize, there are a lot of things I don't remember where Carl's concerned. I've had to block them from my mind. He's said so many hurtful things.
”
"And you internalized them.”
"I ... I didn't think I had.”
Aaron gritted his teeth. “You know what? Maybe I can't go to this wedding with you.” Amani's eyes widened in alarm. “Because if I see Carl, I'll want to pummel him. And that's no word of a lie.” He reached for Amani's face, softly stroked it. “Did he ever hit you?”
"No. Never.”
"But he abused you nonetheless. In a more hurtful way. With words.”
"I guess. Yes.”
"Amani, I would never hurt you.”
In her heart, she knew that Aaron was telling the truth. The differences between him and Carl were like night and day. “I know. But. . .”
"But you're beautiful. Smart. Completely desirable. Any man would be lucky to have you in his life.”
"When I was out with Carl, he'd walk two steps ahead of me, like he was embarrassed to be with me. If I reached for his hand, he'd pull it away. And forget about me trying to kiss him. He said he didn't believe in showing affection in public, but I always came away with the feeling that I wasn't desirable.”
” You not desirable?”
"It didn't take long before I started shutting down emotionally. If I didn't feel, I couldn't get hurt. I don't know, Aaron. Maybe I'm just not cut out for long-term intimacy.”
"You really believe that?”
"I don't want to. You have no clue—I am so totally hot for you. But there's a part of me, a part that's completely afraid. Afraid to love, afraid to trust.”
"Because of your ex. Do you really want to go to this wedding?”
Amani didn't hesitate. “No.”
"Then why are you going?”
"Because my cousin is family. I don't want to disappoint her.”
"I can understand that, but you need to take care of yourself first. I'll go with you, if you really want to go, but if being in the same room with your ex is going to be too painful, then don't go. It's not like you and he simply broke up and you're taking the coward's way out. This is a guy who manipulated you, abused you. You have a reason to stay away from him.”
Aaron made a lot of sense. This wasn't about avoiding Carl. It was about protecting herself.
Everything she'd known on a subconscious level she was filtering into her conscious thoughts. She had felt huge anxiety when her cousin had told her that Carl would be at the wedding. The anxiety had been because of her stark fear over seeing him, over the fear that by seeing him again, she'd take ten steps backward. She had made strides after her marriage, strides toward independence and success. Secretly she feared that seeing Carl again could erode the self-esteem she'd built back up.
"I want you in my life, Amani. And I'm willing to wait for you. Prove to you that you can trust me completely.” He paused. “You're deserving of love. And I want to be the one to love you.”
"You really . . .” She detected no hint of insincerity in his tone. He was being completely honest. “You really mean that.”
"Of course I do.”
Joy swelled in Amani's heart, and she didn't try to tamp it down. “I was afraid you'd be too angry with me to even want to talk to me again.”
"You can't push me away, sweetheart.”
"Oh, God.” Amani slapped her hands against her cheeks. “That is what I was trying to do, wasn't it?”
"We'll work through this together.”
Amani took a wad of napkins from the napkin holder. She blew her nose. How utterly unromantic. “Sorry.” Aaron waved a hand, letting her know there was no need to apologize. After a moment passed, Amani asked, “How do you know me so well?”
Aaron shrugged. “I don't know. Your soul connects with mine in a way I can't understand.”
"I feel that, too.”
Aaron took her hands again, linking his fingers with hers, and Amani's heart melted. She already felt a hundred times better,
even with this annoying cold, now that she'd gotten her feelings out. Carl had stolen too much of her and her life. She wouldn't let him take anything more from her.
"I'm going to call my cousin,” she said. “If anyone shouldn't go to the wedding, it's Carl, not me. He's the bad guy.”
"Hey, that's a great idea.”
Amani pulled one of Aaron's hands toward her mouth and kissed it. Would she ever meet a more understanding man than him?
She doubted it.
She had known he was a man of honor and compassion from the time he'd comforted her after her mother's death. That's why she'd fallen in love with him.
The look of kindness in Aaron's eyes made her suddenly feel brave. “Can I tell you something else?”
"Anything.”
"I . . .” She took a deep breath. “I've always been in love with you.
Aaron's lips lifted in a radiant smile, one that lit up his eyes and touched her heart. “You have?”
"Oh, yeah. Helplessly.”
"That's good. Because I'm in love with you, too, Amani.” He nodded when her eyes expressed doubt. “I don't know when it started, but I know that's where I'm at now. What I feel for you, I've never felt for anyone before. Not even my ex-wife.”
Long ago, she had envisioned Aaron as her knight in shining armor, and now here he was, being exactly that.
"I think this can work.”
"I know it can.”
Her eyes bulged. “Did I say that out loud?”
"Uh-huh. And it's okay. I want you to know that you can always talk to me.”
Amani leaned across the table. “I do love you.”
"I love you, too.”
"Will you kiss me? Right here, in front of everyone?”
"I'll kiss you on top of the CN Tower, if that's what you want.”
Amani couldn't help smiling as she edged her mouth closer to his. “Oh,” she suddenly said. “I shouldn't. I don't want to give you my cold.”
"As if a little cold could stop me from kissing those luscious lips.”
"Luscious?”
"Oh, yeah. Just like your other lips.”
White-hot heat zapped her nub. “Aaron!”
"They are luscious. I can't wait to nibble on them again.”
Amani had to shut him up—before she jumped his bones right here. “Come here.”
Just before her eyelids fluttered shut, Amani saw Suzette grinning like a fool at her, giving her two enthusiastic thumbs up.
And as her lips finally touched Aaron's, Amani couldn't help thinking that at last she'd snagged Mr. Right.
FANTASY MAN
.
Tamara Sneed
1
.
Olivia Hawkins watched the small jet taxi to the end of the runway at the private Los Angeles airport. She crossed her arms over her chest and barely resisted the urge to tap her foot in impatience. He was late—of course. It must have been written in the handbook every Hollywood actor secretly received when he hit box office gold—be late at every opportunity. The plane rolled to a stop and the oval-shaped door slowly opened. Olivia held her breath as a sudden wave of uncertainty, nerves, and plain ole lust overwhelmed her.
Olivia could delude herself into thinking that she didn't like Clark Stone, Hollywood's newest action hero and People magazine's current Sexiest Man Alive, but she couldn't delude her body into accepting that she wasn't affected by him. He was the original bad boy that mothers told their daughters to stay away from. In his movies—which always opened number one at the box of-
fice—he was the cop who barely remained on the right side of the law while hunting down the criminal, and the demanding lover, who expected everything from the women in his bed and gave everything in return. He was every woman's fantasy, and if Olivia's brother, Jack, hadn't brought Clark to the Hawkins' Sunday family dinners for the last five months, Clark would have been her fantasy, too.
Heat and desire flooded Olivia's stomach like a lead ball, when Clark filled the airplane's oval door. It never ceased to amaze Olivia how big he was. His height and broad shoulders also never ceased to arous
e her. He stood over six feet three inches, uncommonly tall for an actor. Every rippling muscle on the screen was the result of God-given good genes and a stringent workout regimen. Even the expensive, loose-fitting black outfit he wore couldn't hide his marvelous physique, the broad shoulders, defined chest, or long legs.
Clark lifted the dark, expensive sunglasses he wore, then glanced around the tarmac, his gaze automatically skipping pass Olivia and the black limousine next to her. No surprise. She laughed in disbelief and shook her head. Clark may have been gorgeous and he may have been the star of her nightly fantasies, but as he had proven with his dismissive and disdainful behavior toward her during the dinners at her parents' house, he was also a predictable, arrogant jerk.
Since Jack had first introduced Clark to her and her parents five months ago, Clark had made it obvious that Olivia wasn't worth his time or trouble. While Olivia's parents adored Clark, Olivia saw the truth He was as bad as all the tabloids reported him to be.
Olivia debated on getting back into the limousine and having the driver leave, but then she thought of her brother. She sighed in exasperation then half-heartedly waved at Clark. He looked at her, and even across the tarmac, goose bumps flirted across her skin. She gasped softly as her center pulsated and swelled to life. Just from one look. The ability to produce that much of a reaction in a helpless woman should have been outlawed.
Clark pushed back on his sunglasses then walked down the steps and started toward her. The world went into slow motion and music—Luther or, more like, 50 Cent—pounded in the background. Even if he wasn't hers, he was walking toward her and her body didn't care about the difference. Her nipples tingled under her suit jacket, and Olivia momentarily braced herself against the limousine until she could stand on her own.
Clark stopped in front of her, and she immediately straightened. He didn't smile or take off his sunglasses, he just posed in front of her, as if waiting for her to snap a picture.
Olivia kept her voice neutral as she said, “Good morning, Mr. Stone.”
His voice was as deep and sexy as reporters gushed, as he demanded, “Where's Jack?”
Olivia gritted her teeth, then responded calmly, “His wife, Melissa, went into labor this morning, and Jack asked me to accompany you on your appearances this afternoon so that he could be present for the birth of his first child.”
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