Kendra closed the door behind her. Her hand appeared unsteady, but he couldn’t be sure in the dim light. Reluctance was evident in her body language, yet there she stood in his bedroom.
“Sorry if I woke you,” she said softly.
“You didn’t.” He pushed up, leaning back against the headboard as she approached.
“Good.” She bit her bottom lip before taking a deep breath. “Colton—”
“Are you—”
They broke off at the same time and he couldn’t help a smile. She smiled, too, then urged him to go first. Instead, he reached for the light on the nightstand. Not seeing her face clearly was really frustrating.
She grabbed his arm. “No—don’t.”
His muscles tensed under her fingers. He sat back, and she let her hand fall onto her thigh. She took a sudden interest in her nails, leaving him at even more of a loss. She’d come to him. Twice she looked like she was ready to speak, but twice she didn’t.
“You look tired,” he said.
She lifted a shoulder. “Same as always, I don’t sleep well.”
“What do you dream about?” he asked abruptly.
Her gaze lifted to his. “Same as anyone, I guess.”
He leaned forward, shaking his head from side to side. Her breath hitched when he laid a hand on her knee. His chest tightened. “What keeps you up at night, Kendra? Is it Robert? Is he the reason for your nightmares?”
Her eyes widened with dismay. “You’ve heard me.”
He nodded.
Realization dawned in her moonlit eyes. “I wasn’t dreaming that night, was I?”
“No.”
He expected her to be upset that he’d invaded her privacy without her permission, but all she said was, “It’s not Robert.”
“Is it the cop?” he asked, his voice low and tight.
She nodded. He started to slide his hand up to cover hers, worried for a moment about stirring up bad memories of her past, then decided to risk it. He wouldn’t push her any further than that. At his touch, her gaze lifted and locked with his.
Indefinable emotion shifted in her brown, fathomless depths the longer they held eye contact. She turned her hand over, laced her fingers with his, and tugged him closer. His heart lodged in his throat when she pressed her lips to his. God, what was happening?
She opened her mouth under his, inviting him in. He held onto his control by a thread; only the thought of her past violent experience kept him from giving in to the passion raging through his blood. He wanted her so bad it scared him. Her soft sound of frustration nearly undid him and he pulled back before the thin thread snapped.
Confusion in her gaze gave way for shame. Damn. In trying to protect her, he saw he’d hurt her. His fingers tightened on her shoulders. “It’s not that I don’t want to…”
His strained voice brought her head up quick, her gaze searching. “Then what’s the problem?”
What was the problem? He didn’t exactly know, but something felt off. First she’d avoided him all evening, now she was in his room, seemingly bent on seduction. He didn’t want to be suspicious of her actions, but when she leaned forward again, he summoned a shred of wavering willpower and pressed back against the headboard.
“Kendra, no. I won’t take advantage of you. You need to leave.” The words fell short of the command he meant them to be.
She shook her head and smiled slowly, shifting her position until she straddled him where he sat on the bed. In desperation, he removed his hands and fisted them in the bedspread. “God, you have no idea what you’re doing,” he rasped.
“I have a fair idea.” She slid across his lap until her thighs rode his hips. His arousal throbbed and, as she settled her weight onto him, the pleasure-pain was unbearable.
“Kendra, I’m serious,” he pleaded, grasping her arms with the intent of pushing her away.
“Colton, I need this.” Her brown eyes pleaded as much as her whispered words. She pushed against his weak hold, stopping only when her lips brushed his. “Please. I need you. Now.”
And with that, he couldn’t have denied her even if he’d wanted to. He surged forward to embrace her full against his chest. The kiss spun on a dangerous tilt until he rolled her beneath him on the small bed. Poised above her, he smoothed her hair back and drank in the beauty of her face in the moonlight. The complete trust in her shadowed eyes brought an ache to his chest. He silently vowed to do everything he could to erase the nightmare of her rape.
With every kiss, every touch, every whisper, he cherished the woman who’d snuck into his heart when he wasn’t looking. He gave her everything he had and made sure she experienced the joy and wonder of making love more than once before even considering his own release. Afterward, he hugged her back to his chest, the only way they could fit on the small mattress. She sighed a soft, heart-tugging sound of contentment before drifting off to sleep.
Colton lay wide awake, staring toward the window as the moon climbed higher. Shadows lengthened, changing the landscape and messing with his head. While he enjoyed the sensation of her small body against his, insistent doubts hounded him with the reminder of their opposite lives.
The worst of it was, he’d gone and fallen for her. Love was never supposed to be an option for him. Panic fluttered in his chest with the silent admission, but her warm curves soothed the emotion to a manageable level. Even went so far as to inspire tentative optimism. After what they’d shared tonight, he wondered if he dared hope what their future held in store. Was it possible they could have one together?
****
He woke to the soft rustle of fabric. Without moving, he watched Kendra slide her jeans up her slim legs and over her hips. She fastened them, adjusted her shirt, then sat on a nearby chair to pull her socks on. He remembered kissing her foot; she was ticklish. There and other places. A satisfied smile curved his lips as desire flared in his gut, making him wish she’d stayed in bed. His gaze went to her face, wanting to see her in the light of early morning after what they’d shared in the moonlight.
Her lush lips were pressed in a thin line and a frown marred her delicate brow. A painful vice squeezed his chest as he wondered if she already regretted what’d happened. And then something else hit him like five tons of bricks.
He’d completely forgotten protection. What if she got pregnant?
Unexpectedly, a thrill shot through him. He could be a father.
Focus, you ass, this isn’t about you.
Obviously, something had her upset—and whether or not it was regret for what they’d shared, he should reassure her she wouldn’t be alone if the end result should be a baby. Again, excitement rose up. Tempering it, he braced upright on one elbow and spoke her name. Her head snapped up at his sleep-raspy voice and her jumpiness made him feel like a jerk.
“You’re awake.” The unnecessary statement further revealed her unease.
Colton sat up the rest of the way and scooped his shorts off the floor. He noticed with a bit of misplaced irritation and more guilt that she turned her back when he stood to pull them on. He moved across the room and extended a hand to her shoulder. She flinched under his touch. His hand fisted and he dropped his arm to his side.
“I want you to know that if…well, if anything should result from last night, you won’t be alone.” Much as he hated it, he couldn’t control the hurt that roughened his tone.
She turned with another frown. Damn, it was hard to face the woman he loved with all her regrets reflected in her eyes. So he looked out the window as he ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe I was so stupid.”
Her indrawn breath drew his attention back to her face. Oh, man, wrong thing to say. Now, besides the regret, he’d wounded her. “I mean, I always use something,” he clarified. “I should’ve thought about it. What about you?”
“What are you talking about?”
The confusion in her expression made him pause. She couldn’t be that innocent, could she? Looking at her face, though, he gues
sed he had his answer even before he asked. “Protection…are you on the pill or any type of birth control?”
Her eyes widened, and she dropped her gaze while shaking her head.
“I’m sorry,” he told her.
A sharp jerk raised her face back to his. “What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault.”
“I should’ve been more responsible.”
“You don’t have to worry, Colton. I’ll take care of it.”
The anger in her voice surprised him. The answering surge inside him didn’t. “I don’t believe in abortion,” he stated.
Resentment flared in her eyes. “Neither do I—that’s not what I meant.”
Good. But then he realized what, “I’ll take care of it,” meant, and he was pissed off all over again. His gaze narrowed. “So, what exactly did you mean then?” he demanded. “Are you saying that just because you have money, I won’t be part of its life?”
“No—I—”
“Because that’s not the way it works with me. I will be a father to this baby. You can’t keep me from being a part of its life.”
She made an exasperated noise and fixed him with a narrowed glare. “Why don’t we have this conversation in about a month—if we even need to.”
That took the wind right out of his sails, though his tone still held a note of resentment as he muttered, “Fine.”
“Fine,” she tossed back. “God, nothing is going the way it was supposed to.”
Tell me about it!
Kendra spun on her heel and abruptly stalked from the room.
The finality of the slamming door reverberated through Colton’s entire body. He backed up and dropped down onto the edge of the bed. How had everything gone so completely to hell?
Because he’d let his guard down, that’s why.
He didn’t deserve happiness. Looked like he wasn’t about to get it, either. Elbows braced on his knees, he buried his face in his hands.
The soft click of the door brought his head up. He fought to mask his emotions as Kendra stood all the way across the room from him, hands clasped together so hard her knuckles were white. Nervous as she appeared, determination still sharpened her features.
“Will you marry me?”
Chapter Eighteen
Colton stared, realized his jaw hung slack, and snapped it shut. He shook his head to clear the fog, or cobwebs, or whatever it was that made him imagine a marriage proposal, and suddenly understood the rhetorical question.
“You mean if you’re pregnant?” He hesitated a beat. “Yes.”
“I mean now.”
“You don’t even know yet,” he said, more confused than ever.
She rolled her eyes with an exasperated huff. “Would you get off the pregnancy thing?” The moment the words were out, she cast a quick glance at the door and took a step closer to him. “I’m asking you to marry me.” This came out just above a whisper.
Now you could’ve knocked him over with a feather. She wanted him to marry her before she even knew about a baby? This was a strange chain of events.
She’d avoided him all last evening, then came to his room. He’d experienced the most incredible night of his life with her—which at first glance she’d appeared to regret—and now she was proposing. Was it possible? Against all odds, could they have the future he’d hoped for in the early dawn hours?
He wanted to say yes, but acknowledged underlying threads of apprehension and confusion. Thoughts of his mom and dad rushed forward, the life they’d lost, and he turned away—only to face the bed still torn up from the passion of last night.
God, he wanted to say yes.
She cleared her throat behind him. “I’ll pay you.”
Colton swung around. “What?”
She squared her shoulders. “A million dollars.”
Disbelief struck him dumb. “To marry you?”
She nodded. “You can pay off your father’s medical bills, go to school, buy your ranch—whatever you want.”
“I don’t understand.”
Her gaze met his. She may have appeared nervous a moment ago, but now she spoke calmly, her tone devoid of all emotion. “My lawyer called last night because he finally obtained the full copy of the provisions of my father’s Will and my trust. I need to get married or it all reverts back to Robert. It’s not logical, but when it came to love and money, my father was the most illogical person there ever was. In his mind, the only way a woman can successfully manage finances or her life is to turn them over to a husband.”
Colton ran a hand through his hair, then massaged the back of his neck as he tried to make sense of it all. “Why would Robert even bother trying to kill you then?”
“His lawyers would’ve told him I started asking about the Will. He knew he couldn’t let me find out about the marriage clause.”
Colton considered all she’d told him and didn’t like the conclusion he came to. “So, it’s all about the money.” Please say no.
“Yes, but not—”
A realization struck him and the stab of pain in his chest left him breathless. His eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. “That’s what last night was about, wasn’t it?”
Her eyes rounded. “No. It wasn’t like that.”
“You practically begged me to sleep with you when I tried to be considerate of your feelings, and this morning you offer me a million dollars to marry you—and there’s still the possibility of a baby. What the hell does it look like to you?”
She stood rigid, her jaw clenched. “I know what it looks like, but—”
“You sure covered all your bets, didn’t you? Hell, you even played the ace with my dad on it.”
She took a step toward him. “Colton…please—”
He held up a hand. If she came too close he’d want to pull her into his arms and lay her back on the bed. Only a fool would want to do that after being manipulated and used. Only a fool would still want to say yes.
And, damn. He was that fool.
Facing the window, he asked in a clipped, savage tone, “When?”
“Today.”
His gaze sliced to her.
“I have to be married by my twenty-fifth birthday otherwise—”
“Where?” Just give me the necessary damn details and get out.
“The courthouse in Boulder—Michael made an appointment for one o’clock.”
Colton clenched his fist at the mention of her lawyer. Another reminder of the money and what she was willing to do to get it. “You were that sure I’d say yes.”
Her chin raised a notch. “Is that a yes?”
Her haughty tone pissed him off even more. “It’s as close to one as you’re going to get.” He brushed past her to the door. Holding it open, he said, “Take it or leave it.”
He guessed by her silence that she’d take it, but she paused on the threshold. Before she could speak, he snapped, “Don’t worry. You’ve given me a million reasons to show up.”
She’d never know he only needed one.
****
Kendra placed a hand against her abdomen to quell the butterflies before she opened the door to the registry office. The absence of Colton’s tall figure should not have eased her nervousness, but she found she could breathe easier without his presence. And since she was early, worrying about him not showing wouldn’t officially start until closer to the one o’clock hour. Yeah, right.
Inside the office, her brief moment of calm flew out the window when the secretary started typing up the marriage license and asked for their full names.
“Kendra Kay Zelner.” She spelled her middle name because most people assumed it was an initial.
“And his?”
“Colton J. Lawe, with an E at the end.” She still remembered that from his license…how pathetic was that?
The woman paused in her typing. “And the J?”
“Spell it out,” Colton’s deep voice instructed from the doorway. “Same as hers.”
Kendra swung around in surprise
. Wow. He looked great in a black suit and crisp white dress shirt. No tie, but somehow it made the outfit classier. A classy Colton—definitely not what she’d expected.
She couldn’t look away as he approached the counter, not until the secretary cleared her throat and asked them to sign the application.
Moments later, Michael came in from parking the car. “Oh, good, he’s here. How’s the paperwork coming along?”
Colton made a noise and Kendra slid her gaze sideways without turning her head. She saw him take a controlled breath as a muscle ticked along his jaw. He was still pissed, something she didn’t understand. Casual Colton had nothing to be angry about—“Marriage doesn’t figure into my plans. Ever.”
Yeah, well, you could’ve said no. Besides, he was making out pretty well for a marriage in name only. It wasn’t like she’d demand he fulfill the role of husband and give her a happily ever after—no matter how much she wanted one.
“Almost done,” she finally told Michael. He nodded before heading out toward the courtroom.
With the license in hand, Colton held the door for her a few minutes later. Kendra risked another glance and nervously commented, “You look nice.”
He inclined his head, guiding her through the doorway with a hand on the small of her back. The warmth of his touch through the silk of her dress sent a frisson of awareness racing along her nerve endings. Shocked by the intensity of it, multiplied by intimate memories of last night, she stiffened, unconsciously pulling away in the process. His hand dropped to his side and his expression hardened even more.
“Appropriate color you’ve chosen.”
She glanced down. It’d taken her over an hour to find just the right dress. Simple but elegant, the scoop neckline hinted at cleavage without being improper. The silk fabric outlined her body without being too clingy, and she’d fallen in love with the light rum color the moment she’d seen it.
When she looked back up, he added, “Given the events of last night, white would’ve been hypocritical.”
Even though she flushed at his reminder, anger was her first reaction to his vindictive remark. But when she would’ve challenged his conduct, she realized she had no defense. Well, none she would voice, anyway. Because, besides the reason he thought she’d slept with him, the only other one to justify her actions was that she loved him.
TrustintheLawe_w4282 Page 23