He tapped the check rhythmically against his thigh. “Don’t need one.”
Joel chuckled. “You’ve been in a mood lately, something wrong?”
“Nope.”
“Marty said they’d handle things if you want to take few days off…in case there’s anything you need to take care of?”
Colton’s hand stilled. “What’s that mean?” he asked suspiciously.
His friend held up a placating hand. “Nothing. Just thought you’d like some time away.”
Colton resumed tapping. “I’m fine.”
“I wouldn’t mind if you took a few days…”
Oh, so that’s how it is. Colton finally smiled, ruefully. “Okay, fine, so I’ve been a bear.”
“Understatement,” Joel muttered under his breath.
“Sorry.”
Joel took a drink as he shrugged. “No big deal, I’ve been there myself.”
Colton gave him a sideways, measuring glance, then shifted his attention back to the top of the coffee table. The only noise for almost a full minute was the faint tick of the clock, the occasional swallow of beer, and Colton’s absent tap, tap, tap of the check.
“What’s that?” Joel asked.
He stopped abruptly. Narrowed his eyes in consideration. Why the hell not? So what if she hadn’t told them—she hadn’t told him not to tell them. Joel’s “…in case there’s anything you need to take care of?” echoed in his head. Maybe she had told them?
No better time than the present to put his secretive wife to the test. He handed the check to Joel and watched his reaction.
Joel’s eyes widened. “That’s a lot of zeros. What is this?”
“That’s what your sister paid me to marry her,” he revealed evenly.
Joel’s jaw dropped and Colton had his answer. At least she was consistent.
“Care to repeat that?”
Colton held up his left hand and wiggled his finger so the gold ring winked in the afternoon light. Joel sat back for a moment, then up-ended his beer and swallowed to the last drop. Resting the empty bottle on his thigh, he regarded the check in his other hand. “She didn’t take your name?”
He’d noticed her signature, too, the moment he’d looked at the check, before he’d counted the zeros. Now, he gave a short laugh. “Seeing as how she’s in New York, and I’m here, that’s not such a shocker, is it?”
Bitterness crept into his words at the end, and Colton cringed. Damn it, he swore he wasn’t going to let it get to him.
“I don’t know what to say.” Joel handed the check over and stood up.
Tucking it back into his pocket, Colton said, “Nothing to say. She needed to be married to inherit her money, I happened to be conven—available.”
“Well, on the bright side, the money will come in handy for your dad…or a ranch of your own.”
Colton frowned up at Joel. “How’d you know about that?”
“Britt told me you’d mentioned it to Gina a few years back, when she lived here for those couple months.”
“Oh.”
Joel headed for the door, then paused. “Much as I’d hate to lose you, Colton, do what you need to do. You’re family to us and we wish you only the best, no matter what you decide.”
“Thanks.” Colton’s chest constricted. “That means a lot.”
After a moment of silence, Joel cleared his throat. “All right then. How about you lighten up? Because, you do know, if Marty and Neil quit, you have to stay.”
Colton smiled briefly. “Aye-aye, Sir.”
Joel left, and Colton thought about their conversation. Yeah, he did need to lighten up. Two things stood in the way of that happening. One, he could do something about.
****
Colton rose from the table with a sigh. “No, Mom, please, no cookies.”
He’d known this was going to be difficult. She was such a nurturer, always trying to take care of him. Hands on her shoulders, he steered her back to a chair. He was tired of living with conflicting emotions that seemed to be at constant war with each other and could only think of one way to relieve the pressure. “I need to talk to you about Dad.”
His mother looked at him with concern. “It sounds serious.”
“It is.” He took a deep breath. “It’s about that night…I…all these years…I’ve never asked you to forgive me.”
“Forgive you? Good heavens, Colton, what are you talking about?”
He dropped his gaze, unable to meet her eyes. “It was my fault.”
“No,” she denied immediately. “Of course it wasn’t. Why—”
“If I hadn’t called for a ride home, he never would’ve been out on the road.”
His mother shook her head. “You can’t look at it that way.”
“You don’t have to protect me, Mom. I know he didn’t want me to go to that party—”
She covered his hand with hers, shaking her head, halting his words. He stared at her face as he turned his hand over to clasp her fingers. She looked sad—and older suddenly. When had she developed those deep wrinkles around her eyes?
And why did her eyes shimmer with unshed tears?
She held his gaze, regret mingling with sadness. “I asked your father to go to the store earlier that night, but he said he’d do it later. When you called, he decided to stop there first.”
The accident had happened a block from the store.
Colton stared with dawning comprehension. “Mom—”
“No, it’s okay. But you see? I’ve been there, too,” she said softly. “Lonely, isn’t it?”
He nodded and swallowed hard.
“If I’d had any idea you felt this way…it’s not your fault, Colton. You must believe that. And it wasn’t my fault, either.” She gripped his hands tighter, blinking the moisture from her eyes. “Things happen that we can’t control or explain. It took me a long time to realize that. All we can do is trust in God and live life each day. We have to cherish what we have in the here and now.”
But what do you do if she doesn’t want you?
Colton closed his eyes for a moment, willing the voice inside to shut up. This wasn’t about her.
“Are you lonely?” he finally asked his mom.
She smiled, a hint of sadness remaining in her eyes. “Sure, I miss what I had with your Dad. But he’s still there, you know, I see it in his eyes.”
The lump in his throat refused to budge. “I know. I see it sometimes, too.”
“We can’t change the past, and there’s no sense wasting time wishing we could. I do the best with what I have, and I’m content spending time each day with him, doing what I can to make him comfortable. We had twenty good years together, as a family, I’m thankful for that.”
Colton didn’t quite know what to say. He still felt bad for all his parents had lost, but the guilt wasn’t so heavy anymore. As his mom said, there was no way to change the past, only the future.
“You know, there is one thing I wish for,” his mom said with a hopeful smile.
“What’s that?” he asked, still contemplating how he felt about all he’d just learned.
“Grandchildren.”
Her tone was light, but just like that, Colton felt like he’d had the wind knocked out of him. He certainly hadn’t seen that coming.
And as with any slip of his guard, thoughts of Kendra immediately rushed forward. More specifically, memories of their conversation the morning after they’d made love.
It’d been three weeks—and she hadn’t called. Did she know yet? Would she call or would she just ‘take care of it?’
He sat up straighter.
His mom laughed and rose to hug him. “Don’t look so alarmed, I’m only teasing.”
He smiled weakly, wondering what she’d say if he told her she might already have her wish.
****
Joel listened to the phone ring on the other end, his free hand resting on Britt’s belly as she sat next to him on the couch. A faint kick from the baby made him grin. Th
ough he hadn’t known they were talking about the exact same thing, he’d meant it when he told Colton he’d been there himself.
Now, every single day, he counted the blessings in his life. In fact…he leaned over to kiss his wife just as Kendra picked up the phone in New York.
“Hey, Joel, I was going to call you tonight,” she said.
Something in her voice caught his attention. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. It’s just, well, I got some news today.” She took a deep breath. “The DNA tests results came back. Jack is my father.”
Joel closed his eyes at the emotion in her short statement. He didn’t realize he’d sought Britt’s hand until her warm fingers squeezed his. He opened his eyes to the concern in hers and gave her a brief smile as he asked Kendra, “That’s the result you hoped for, right?”
“Yeah.” Her voice wavered.
“Did you talk to him yet?” he asked gently.
“No, not just yet.”
He thought he heard her sniffle, but then she gave a short laugh.
“I had weeks to get used to this possibility,” she began. “But it’s still a shock. It’s good news, really it is, but I’m angry, too—at Mom. I’ve missed twenty-five years with my father and my brother.” He heard her blow her nose, then she added, “Maybe you’ve been able to forgive her, Joel, but it’s going to take me some time.”
“That’s completely understandable. Hey, it took me over sixteen years—I had a head start.” He smiled at Britt and lifted the back of her hand to his lips. “A loving wife helped, too.”
“Yeah. That would help.” Longing colored her voice, especially when she added, “Speaking of which, how is…everyone?”
Ah ha. Now that he knew about Colton, Joel caught the telltale pause. She wasn’t asking about everyone, she was asking about someone.
“Well, the boys are running wild, Brittany’s getting fat and sassy, and—ouch—” Joel broke off with a laugh as Britt smacked his arm. Kendra scolded him on the other end, too, saving him from mentioning Colton. He wanted her to keep wondering.
“Listen, I was thinking,” he segued. “Instead of putting Noah on a plane home, what if he rides with me to Pennsylvania day after tomorrow to deliver a couple mares. I can drive him home from there and then I’d get to see my little sis again, too.”
“Really? Oh, that’d be great, Joel. If you’re sure you don’t mind, I much prefer the thought of him with you than alone on a plane.”
“I don’t mind at all,” he assured her with a wide grin.
****
Colton sat on the top rail of the outdoor arena with Britt as Joel led a new arrival inside for the maiden ride. Since talking to Joel yesterday, he hadn’t bothered to hide his left hand anymore. He noticed Britt’s gaze touch on the ring, but thankfully she didn’t say a word. He wasn’t in the mood to fend off a heart-to-heart.
In the middle of the arena, the large chestnut Quarter Horse stood stock still as Joel did a final check of the bridle and tack. At first glance, the gelding appeared to be perfectly calm, head drooping as if ready to fall asleep even. A few flicks of its right ear were the animal’s only movements. But those twitches, coupled with the tensed, bunched hindquarters, told a whole different story.
“Rough ride coming up,” Colton predicted.
“Yeah, I see that,” Britt agreed. The lack of concern in her voice conveyed her confidence in her husband’s abilities.
He watched Joel gather the reins, grasp the pommel and plant his boot into the stirrup, then pull himself up into the saddle. The horse remained still. Colton no more than wondered if he’d called it wrong when the gelding exploded.
It all happened so fast; whipping tail, twisting body, flash of hooves. One second Joel sat securely in the saddle, the next he was laid flat out on the ground. The gelding stopped a few feet away as if nothing unusual had happened. Colton’s brows rose in surprise. He’d never witnessed Joel unseated before.
Calls of encouragement sounded off to Colton’s right, from Cody, Dustin and Noah’s safe viewpoint behind the fence.
Colton experienced a jolt of concern when his friend didn’t move to get up right away. He leapt from the fence a split-second after Britt, and the both of them rushed to his side. A noise from the fence jerked Colton’s head up to see Cody climbing through the rails.
“Stay there,” he ordered. If Joel was seriously injured, the boys didn’t need to see it up close. Cody hesitated and Colton gave him a firm look. When he was sure they weren’t coming any closer, he turned back and dropped to his knees next to his friend. Joel struggled for air and Colton’s alarm doubled. The whole scene brought back unwelcome memories of Kendra’s fragile body curled in the dust after Lucky had reared up.
Britt leaned over Joel’s chest, her voice high and scared. “Joel? Are you okay?”
He finally managed to suck in a lungful of oxygen. “I’m fine…I think,” Joel rasped. “Just had the wind…knocked out of me, that’s all.”
Colton sagged with relief. Britt smothered her husband with a kiss before helping him sit up. He waved a hand at the boys and they erupted in cheers.
Wow. The guy’s butt is planted in the dirt and he’s still a hero. He smothered a chuckle and stood to dust off his knees before offering a hand. Joel’s strong grip allowed the rest of his worry to fade.
Once on his feet, Joel gave Britt a one armed hug and a grin. “See? I’m fine.” Color began to return to her pale cheeks until Joel said, “Time to get back on.”
No one said a word. They all knew the cardinal rule. Never end a session with the horse thinking it’d won.
Colton gave a grim nod and turned toward the gelding. A hoarse cry of pain spun him back around on his boot heel at the same time Joel’s hand clamped on his shoulder in a death grip.
“What’s wrong?” Britt demanded with alarm.
“I think my damn ankle might be broken,” Joel gritted between clenched teeth, leaning heavily on Colton.
“Let’s get you into the house.” He wedged his shoulder under Joel’s armpit for better support.
Joel hesitated. “What about Barney?”
He glanced at the gelding standing a few feet away and saw one of its back feet cocked in a position of rest. “He’ll be just fine until I come back out.” And ride the S.O.B.
Britt took Joel’s other side, and they acted as crutches to get him through the gate, across the yard, and inside the house. The three subdued boys completed the procession. After Joel was settled on the couch, Britt gently propped his leg on a stool with a pillow. “Do you need something for the pain?”
“I can handle it.”
But Colton didn’t like the look of Joel’s twisted grimace. “Shouldn’t we cut his boot off?” he asked Britt. “See if there’s swelling?”
“No!” Joel glared a warning at him. “This is my favorite pair of boots. Nobody’s cutting nothing.”
Britt’s teeth worried her bottom lip as she stared at Joel’s foot. “Maybe we should let the doctor do it, they’ll need to do x-rays anyway. I’ll make a quick call, and we’ll be on our way.”
He wouldn’t have waited, but clearly, Joel wasn’t letting him near his boots. Britt returned with confirmation their family doctor said to come in immediately. Colton helped him back outside to the truck, but when Britt would’ve climbed up into the driver’s seat, Joel suggested, “Let Colton drive me.”
He and Britt both paused in surprise. Joel’s gaze shifted between them. “The boys saw it all and I think it might be better if you stayed here with them. We can’t all go, and if you come with me, they’ll be here worrying, all by themselves.”
She glanced over her shoulder to where the kids watched silently from the porch. With a final, searching look at his face, she nodded, kissed him and stepped back. He grabbed her hand. “And promise me you won’t try to get up on Barney.”
Colton watched Britt rub her free hand over her small baby bump and instantly thought of Kendra…again.
&nb
sp; “I’ll just put him back in his stall,” Britt promised before giving Joel another kiss to send them on their way.
Two long hours later, Colton met Joel at the emergency room exit with the truck. He hurried around to open the door and pointed out the bright side in the face of Joel’s frown. “At least it’s not broken.”
Joel’s scowl deepened. The moment Colton stepped back to give him room to climb into the cab, he threw his mangled, sliced-up boot onto the floor with disgust. “It should’ve been for what they did to my boots,” he groused.
Colton had to do a quick turn for the driver’s side to hide his smile. As he settled behind the driver’s side, he felt Joel’s sullen glare.
“It’s not funny.”
“Sorry.” And still he had to fight a grin on their way out of the parking lot. Joel’s sulky reaction was reminiscent of Noah’s reaction to being grounded. And just like that, his humor faded. Thoughts of Noah ultimately led to thoughts of Kendra. His foot pressed the accelerator as he jolted onto the highway.
Joel cursed under his breath.
“Sorry,” Colton said again, letting up on the gas pedal. “I’ll slow down.”
“It’s not that. I just remembered I’m supposed to leave for Pennsylvania tomorrow to deliver the Kalhoffers’ mares.”
A quick glance caught Joel’s glower down at his right foot.
“I can’t drive with this damn thing.”
Colton opened his mouth, then clamped his jaw tight and didn’t say a single word.
Silence reigned until Joel swore again. “I’ll have to call them and reschedule in a couple weeks.” After mumbling under his breath, he heaved a sigh and added, “I hope they’re not too upset. Their daughter has a show next weekend. Damn.”
Colton’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. No. Keep your mouth shut. His knuckles turned white.
“I’ll have to knock some money off their bill,” Joel continued. “To make up for the entrance fees they’ll have to forfeit, not to mention their inconvenience. And Brittany—”
“I’ll do it.”
From the corner of his eye, Colton saw Joel’s head turn toward him. He kept his furious gaze focused on the road straight ahead.
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