by Kaira Rouda
“Asshole,” Josh said, flipping the guy off as he heard Madison laugh.
“Text me when you’re finished dining at Alana,” the driver said, hurrying to get away from the angry tourist still honking.
“Alana, of course,” she said, smiling.
“I hope it’s ok,” he said, reaching to take her hand in his, grateful she didn’t pull away. “I have so many great memories of you and me here.”
The host showed them to a corner table in the back of the narrow, crowded restaurant. Josh could feel eyes on him, questioning, wondering if they should know him. Yes, you should, he thought, as they settled into their table, you all should by now. He missed those days of being hounded for autographs, of posing for photos with die-hard fans. He wondered if those days would ever happen for him again. He wasn’t going to give up, no matter what.
“Did you feel all the stares when we walked back here?” Madison said, holding her menu up to cover her face. “It reminded me of those days. Awful.”
“Yeah, me, too,” Josh said, but he was smiling. “I want that again. I loved every minute of it, you know? That’s why I went along with that story line senior year, Madison. I would have done whatever the producers said to be a star and they told me it was a test of my acting skills.”
“Cheating on me with Laura, on-camera, was a test of your acting skills?” she said. She had placed her menu on the table and her blue eyes were flat and dark. “You loved every minute of it because you were screwing every girl in the cast.”
“That’s not true,” Josh said quietly, kicking himself for bringing the subject up so soon, at all. “We never…”
“Ha, that’s the irony isn’t it,” she said. “You’d almost convinced me I was the one. I didn’t know that’s the same line you were using on everyone else.”
The waiter appeared and Josh, with relief, ordered a bottle of wine.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m truly sorry,” Josh said, dropping his head. He shouldn’t have suggested dinner. She hated him and he just needed to accept that. He had, he’d gone about his life just fine until he’d seen her again. He knew coming back here would be a disaster and it was. “Do you want to leave?”
“No, look, I’m sorry. I’m over-reacting. It was a long time ago. Let’s just try to start over, be friends. You’re going to be in town for a week, staying at the resort, and I don’t want to add to the tension,” Madison said, as the waiter poured their wine and took their order.
Josh reached for her hand where it rested on the table. “Yes, thank you, let’s start over. I shouldn’t have brought up the show. It won’t happen again,” Josh said, raising his glass. “To new beginnings, for both of us. I only hope I can be as successful as you.”
“The secret is hard work,” she said, smiling as the antipasto plate appeared on their table. “You never liked that too much.”
Josh thought she was teasing, but he knew she was right. The whole notion of menial summer jobs was just something he couldn’t handle, even as his older brother had been a lifeguard and Madison had worked at her mom’s nail salon, summers and during school. In fact, most everybody on the cast had a job, but Josh didn’t and nobody at home suggested it. Once the appearance fees started rolling in, he thought he’d be set for life. Just show up and party and get paid. He could’ve done that gig forever. Problem was, by the end of his second loosely scripted reality show, Hollywood Nights, appearance offers had dried up. The clubs had a new batch of young celebrities to draw in the crowd. Josh had dropped to a B level celebrity, and then a C level, and then, well, now he would be a travel show host.
“Did I upset you?” Madison said, touching his hand. A soft, friendly gesture that made a lump form in his throat.
“No, of course not, just a little trip down memory lane. I think the problem was I knew early on I wanted to be an actor,” he said, as the waiter cleared the appetizer platter and replaced the bread plates. “Once you know that, and you get the chance we got, well…”
“Well,” Madison said, pulling her hand away. “It was great for most of you.”
Suddenly a shadow crossed their table and a woman, about their age, appeared. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry to interrupt, but you’re Josh and you’re Holly and I’m so excited you’re back together again! I’m such a fan, and well, poor thing the way he left you like that. But you aren’t fat anymore. I’m just so happy for you!”
Madison looked at the woman in shock and disgust, a mask of disdain and maybe even fear crossed her face. Josh jumped to his feet. “Thank you so much for saying so, but we’re trying to have a private, quiet dinner and you’re bringing attention to us,” he said, walking her towards the bar. “Holly is shy, she doesn’t like the attention. But me, I love it. Thanks for watching and be sure to check out my new show, Journeys with Josh.”
“Oh my god, I will,” she said, her voice quiet now with their shared secret. “You’re even more gorgeous in person.”
Josh smiled, flashing his dimple, he knew, and turned back to the table. Madison’s jaw was clenched tight, and the light had drained from her beautiful eyes. “Sorry about that. She’s gone.”
“Does this happen to you all the time?” Madison said as their risottos were served.
“Not enough. My recognition level has dropped to an all-time low, according to my team. Thus this stupid travel show,” Josh said.
“Thank goodness my recognition level is nonexistent,” Madison said, and he watched her take a deep breath and try to relax.
“That was a fluke, for sure,” he said, hoping he was telling the truth. “The travel show is, you know, a vehicle to keep my brand awareness up. I’m still auditioning like crazy, but they tell me I need something else.”
“Well, travel is fun. I love it. Loved my time in Europe,” Madison said and he was relieved she seemed to be relaxing. “Will you shoot internationally?”
Josh laughed. The pilot would be shot in Laguna Beach and with the production’s bare bones budget, he’d be lucky if the next location wasn’t Dana Point or someplace in LA. “Who knows, maybe if the show gets picked up. Depends on who picks it up. It’s not the end game. But it’s work.”
After dinner, Josh suggested a walk to Main Beach, just a short stroll down to the end of the street where Laguna Beach’s famous lifeguard tower stood proudly heralding the town’s pristine oceanfront heart. The crowds had thinned and he was certain they’d be left alone. He couldn’t shake the memories of the two of them at that very beach, walking at the edge of the cold ocean, hand-in-hand, and in love.
“I’ve really got to get home,” Madison said, as they stood together outside the restaurant. The air was chilly and smelled of the ocean just a block away. “I know Mom’s waiting up, and that’s terrible for her. Plus, I have a demanding group in-house.”
“I’m not demanding,” Josh said, wrapping an arm casually around her waist. He felt Madison tense at the gesture, and dropped his arm, using his other hand instead to summon the limo once they’d stepped outside.
As they stood on the sidewalk, Josh felt like he had so much to say, so much to explain, but knew she didn’t want to hear it. She’d made it clear the past was behind them. They had a shot at being friends, acquaintances again, but nothing more. The limo arrived and Josh held the door open for Madison.
During the short drive to her cottage, he said, “I’ve missed this, us.”
He saw her smile and hoped she felt the same emotions, the undeniable chemistry and connection they shared.
“Josh, that was high school. We’ve both moved on. But thank you for dinner.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, as the limo stopped in front of her cottage, she opened the door and hurried up her walkway, leaving him alone in the backseat, his heart heavy with loss and longing.
Saturday
The workday had flown by and she hadn’t seen Josh around the resort once, which was just as well because she was completely distracted by thoughts of him. All through the day, sh
e had remembered dinner the night before. It had been a great reunion, for the most part, aside from the tourist/fan drop by. That was nothing, though, compared to Madison’s own rogue and uncontrollable emotions that had her wanting to touch him at almost every moment.
As she sat now in her office, alone and trying to focus on her computer, she reminded herself he wasn’t to be trusted, that Josh was an actor – which said it all. She was a grown up, with responsibilities, something he’d never understand, let alone be. She needed to let him go, once and for all. But unfortunately, he still haunted her dreams at night, and at the moment, he was walking the halls of her resort.
Last night, her mom had been waiting up when she arrived home from dinner, as predicted, lights ablaze in the back cottage. She’d smiled when Madison appeared alone, and, presumably, no worse for having dined with the ego monster, as Francine called him.
“You survived,” she had said as Madison walked into her cottage.
“Yes, as did you,” Madison teased, kissing her mom on the cheek. “Time for bed. All is well.”
“Details?” her mom had said.
“I’ve got nothing, but I do have work tomorrow, so good night,” she had said, helping her mom to her room, tucking her in.
“Good girls don’t like ego monsters, remember,” Francine had said as Madison had turned out the light last night.
Madison shook her head as she walked out of her office, making her way outside to the lawn where tonight’s reception would be held for Josh’s group. As she walked, she thought back to her mom’s comments of last night and tried to agree. But the fact was, some good girls do like ego monsters, no matter how hard they try not to, Madison knew, and she now realized after last night she was one of them. He was still lodged in her heart.
Focus on work, she told herself, as she reached the lawn where Josh’s group would be enjoying cocktails at sunset, just an hour from now. Everything looked perfect, as always, the catering staff were pros. Simple white linen tablecloths covered the five round cocktail tables. The tables were decorated with white orchids in crystal vases and votive candles were ready to be lit. But the real beauty of the spot was the oceanfront view of the cliffs and coves of Laguna Beach, framed by a garden of native plants exploding with colors of the spring.
“Is everything ready, Ms. Alcott,” said one of Josh’s handlers, appearing next to her like a snake crossing the rich green grass. This was Mr. Flexible, she’d figured out, and couldn’t remember anything like his actual name.
“Ready,” she answered, opening her arms to encompass the bar set up, the cocktail tables and the perfect setting surrounding them.
“I only wish we wouldn’t be so visible from the resort or the pool,” Mr. Flexible said, shoving his hand through his dark hair and pulling on his tie.
“We could tent the area, but it detracts from the overall feel of the view,” Madison said, knowing ninety nine percent of her celebrity guests turned down the tent for the view. And Josh wasn’t that famous, she felt like adding, but didn’t.
“Do it. Tent this,” Mr. Flexible said before slithering off across the grass. No thank you, no smile even. Jerk, Madison thought, before pulling out her radio and calling catering. They’d be bummed, she knew, but they were all professionals and the guests’ wishes, even reptilian ones, were their first priority.
An hour later, Madison stood admiring the privacy tent and the trays of finger food being delivered, including a huge silver platter with shrimp and seven different cocktail sauces, puffed pastry wrapped baby leeks, toasted walnuts and smoked bacon, a fresh baby quiche and more, perfectly plated and garnished. The wait staff was attempting to pass champagne flutes of what was very expensive champagne, Madison knew, but the men gathered so far under the tent appeared to be more interested in the bar’s offerings.
“Hey, Madison,” Josh said, coming up behind her at the same moment that she had felt his presence. A chill washed down her spine. Stop it, she thought, pinching her own arm. “Beautiful as always.”
He kissed her on the cheek and made her feel light-headed. Truth be told, she had taken extra time getting ready this morning, wearing her favorite black pencil skirt, a crisp white blouse and a bold gold necklace. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and her favorite diamond studs glistened in her earlobes. She felt pretty, pulled together. And, as usual, Josh looked hot.
“You cleaned up nicely yourself,” she said, feeling her cheeks flush as he flashed her the dimpled smile. “Now if you could lose the sunglasses, you could be almost perfect.”
“It’s part of my mysterious persona. The formerly famous actor and his Ray Bans. Gotta keep them on. Come on inside with me and I’ll take them off,” he said motioning toward the tent.
“Oh, thanks but I’m working,” Madison said, though they both knew the set up was finished, her job done.
“Come on, I want you to meet the guys. I actually like one of the producers and well, you know my manager, Marty,” Josh said, nodding toward Mr. Flexible. “Besides, we’re better together.”
“Better at what,” Madison said, feeling the electricity pulsing between them.
“Everything,” Josh said, his voice low.
She swallowed. “I can only stay for a minute,” she said and led him inside, entering the tent first so he wouldn’t see her flushed cheeks. They used to be better together, the perfect complement, yin and yang. That was true, she thought.
“Roger, come here,” Josh said, pulling on the arm of a rather short, rather stout bald-headed man wearing funky orange-framed glasses and a dark black suit, no tie, who was standing next to Mr. Flexible. “Meet Madison. Roger is the one who is going to resurrect my career. All of this was his idea.”
“I can’t take full credit, but I do believe in the kid,” Roger said. Madison liked him instantly and realized, from the two men’s tones and interactions, that they were close. She wondered if Josh had found the father figure he’d needed for so long. “You, my dear, are gorgeous. Have you been in anything?”
“No,” Madison said quickly.
At the same time, Josh said, “Yes. We were in Laguna Nights together. She went by Holly, her middle name, back then.”
Roger pulled his glasses to the tip of his nose and stared at Madison. “Of course you are. Lovely. You’ve grown up well, my dear. In fact, we’re going to host a reunion of sorts, on the new show, and you must appear,” Roger said. His enthusiasm and compliments seemed sincere, even as Madison took a step back.
“My days on TV are over, Roger, but thank you,” she said. Just then, she noticed Mr. Flexible, otherwise known as Marty, staring at her across the room. Probably wondering why she was acting like a guest instead of an employee, she realized. “I need to go check on things for your upcoming dinner. Please excuse me.”
Madison smiled and hurried out of the tent, avoiding Josh’s sad eyes. She needed to protect herself from these people, she knew. Especially Josh. She’d grown up, gotten smart. She was successful and her life was on track. The last thing she needed was her first love, her true love, messing it all up. And she was very aware that Hollywood could mess people up better than almost anything, anyplace, any business in the world.
She pulled out her cell phone and called Dolby, getting his voice mail. She knew he probably was surfing, working at the surf shop or hanging out with his surfing friends. He was a great guy, with an uncomplicated life. The most low-key man she’d ever dated. He was good for Madison, trying to teach her by his example about going with the flow, like the tides. It hadn’t rubbed off, and most likely wouldn’t, but she appreciated his efforts and his easy smile. She realized he probably wasn’t even mad about the Laguna Nights episode any more, if he ever was.
He was so laid back he probably didn’t even notice they hadn’t talked since Josh came into town. He was so laid back he probably had plans with a bikini-clad tourist tonight. Madison shook her head and walked toward the resort’s famous restaurant, Mosaic. She stopped to admire
the chef’s herb garden – four above ground planters bursting with fresh thyme, mint, parsley, sage and every other mouth-watering, fresh ingredient he could need. She pulled a leaf of Italian parsley and popped it into her mouth, enjoying the spicy and refreshing taste.
“Hey,” Josh said, appearing in the herb garden. “It’s going to be a great sunset tonight.”
“Josh, really, go back to your group. You’ve got me as a friend, carry on with your life,” Madison said. She was being as firm as she could, telling him the things she knew she should say, even as her heart was breaking.
“Thanks. That means a lot, but I don’t know if it will work,” Josh said, leaning against the herb planter, smiling his damn smile. “Roger wants you to test for the show. And that works for me because we’d be together. Perfect.”
Madison was certain she hadn’t heard him correctly, so she ignored him. “Look I do need to pop in and check on your private room. Do you think there will still be twelve for dinner? There are only five or six folks at the tent. I can check with Mr. Flexible, never mind,” she said and saw Josh looking at her like she was having a stroke.
“Madison, you are joining us for dinner, so there will be thirteen. Roger insisted. He’s even called the resort president to clear it,” Josh said. He pulled a sprig of rosemary and carried it towards her. “I’ve always loved rosemary. And so do you. I remember that.”
“I’m not coming to dinner,” Madison said, pushing the rosemary away from her face and putting her hands on her hips.
“I think you have to,” Josh said, leaning his face close to hers, as Madison imagined another kiss, wanting to feel his lips on hers, his strong arms around her waist. She was dizzy with desire. “I’ll make it fun. Promise,” he said as she swallowed. His hand touched her cheek, and they locked eyes.
Madison’s radio crackled to life, breaking the trance.
“You’ll dine with the in-house group.” It was Bob, her boss, his voice booming through the radio. “It’s what they want. You’re a local, they want local color. And hell, it’s a free meal. Enjoy.” He’d ended the transmission without giving her a chance to speak.