I'm rendered completely and utterly speechless. What have I done?
“I'm sorry,” I tell her, feeling simultaneously elated and disgusted with myself. I stand up straight and set Robbie back, dropping down to retrieve my pants. After tucking myself away, I hand her her shorts. “I shouldn't have done that.”
“But you did,” Robbie says, sliding off the counter with a small wince and dropping her sweater to cover her bare ass. “And I'm glad. It hurt, but it still felt good … ” She trails off as a knock comes at the door. My heart starts to pound a fierce and heavy rhythm. Fear. The beast responds with a snarl of rage that makes Robbie blink in surprise.
“Who the fuck is that?” I growl, glancing over my shoulder. I wave my hand dismissively. I'm not expecting anyone, so why bother to answer it? Because it could be Audra Holiday. Hmm.
“Listen, Luke, don't beat yourself up about this. If I didn't want it, I would've said something.” She tries to smile at me, but the look is tinged with a shy curiosity that I don't know what to do with. “There's a reason I didn't wear panties today.”
“Jesus, Robbie,” I whisper because my blood gets hot and my dick stiffens at her statement. I run a hand through my dark hair, well aware that the knocking at my door has increased in fervor.
“I hope that's not my dad,” Robbie says absently. My gaze locks on hers as she raises her hands and tries to smile again. “I mean, it's probably not. Nobody knows I came over here. I walked out into the street and around the radius of the security cameras.”
“Listen,” I start, but the rest of the words die in my mouth. I should tell Robbie I've had my fill of her, that she wasn't as good as I thought she'd be. That'd be sure to send her running for good. But I can't do it. I'm a selfish fucking man. Selfish. I don't want Robbie Carrell to leave. Goddamn it. “Let me check the peephole.” It's the only thing I can think of to break up the moment, to grab a second to gather myself. The darkness is inside of me still, no doubt. But pushing it back and ignoring it seems too easy at this moment, like I could forever push it aside with little or no relapse. Is this Robbie's doing? But how? Because I fucked her? That's ridiculous. Sex isn't a cure all. It can be a powerful tool, but one fuck isn't going to fix me overnight.
I scowl as I lean forward and check the peephole. It's Audra Holiday. Obviously. Because one of the last people I need here right now is her. I feel trapped between light and darkness, between Robbie and Audra, and I just need a goddamn moment to think. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I fish it out to find a text message.
I know you're fucking in there. Answer the goddamn door.
“Where the hell were you yesterday?” I growl out, turning away from the door to find Robbie standing in the entrance to the living room. Her shorts are draped over her arm and her legs are pressed firmly together.
“Is that your fiancée?” she asks tentatively, but not like she's upset, almost as if she's already accepted the fact that I was telling the truth. For the first time in almost a decade, I feel badly about something.
“It's not,” I say, leaning my back against the door. “It's just an overzealous client.” Robbie nods and glances nervously down my hallway.
“I was wondering if it might be okay if I took a quick shower?” She takes in a massive breath, as if she needs to interrupt the no she was certain I was going to throw out there. “There's some blood and – ”
“Of course,” I say, hearing a warmness in my voice that I don't understand. The sound only serves to infuriate me further. I hide the emotion from Robbie behind a fake smile, letting the rage simmer in Audra's direction. She's a tough woman; she can handle it. Robbie, I'm not so sure of. “Take your time. Towels are in the cabinet opposite the sink.” Robbie nods at me and disappears into the bathroom. I wait until I hear the fan and the shower going before I bother opening the front door.
“Are you fucking stupid? I could hear you in here, you know.” Audra steps into my house wearing white patent heels – I do my best not to gag – and a blue dress bedazzled to within an inch of its life. She's still beautiful, of course, and her red hair really does look nice against the blue, but the whole outfit is a disaster. I curl my lip at her. “Are you with a client?” she asks, pointing at the bathroom door.
“I don't bring clients back to my house,” I state. “Ever.” And then I realize that a woman is showering in my bathroom while another raises her left brow at me and pops out a hip, resting her hand on the rounded curve of her body. “Where the fuck have you been?” I ask before she starts taking in the little details and putting together a bigger picture. Audra Holiday is too perceptive for my liking. “Your car's been sitting in my driveway for three days.”
“Uh, yeah, because I was trying to help your ass out.”
“Help me?” I ask, glancing nervously at the bathroom door. The last thing I want right now is to have to introduce these two women. And why's that, Lucas? Have you lost your touch in the arms of a virgin goddess? I frown and cross my arms over my chest.
“Yes, help you.” Audra pulls the curtains aside a few inches and peers out, cringing when she catches sight of something across the street. I can't take it. I move forward and grab her arm, dragging her out of the way and wrenching the curtains apart. Parked directly across from my house is a red Mercedes. And I only know one person who drives one. “This bitch was following me around. I thought if I just ignored her, she'd go away, you know? Pretty sure you're the one she's looking for anyway.”
“This is ridiculous.”
I shove past Audra and storm out the front door and down the steps. My carefully compartmentalized personal and business lives are clashing, mixing together in the most unappetizing of ways. Clarice Braxton at my house? That is not fucking happening. Audra Holiday isn't quite a client, and Robbie Carrell is my … neighbor. Clarice Braxton is nothing.
As soon as my shoes hit the street, Clarice is tearing away with a screech, the sound echoing around the quiet neighborhood like a gunshot. Fuck. I watch her go apathetically, well aware that a situation is building. Clarice is high profile, not like Mark the Nobody. She can't be made to disappear, and if she wants to make my life a living a hell, she certainly has the resources to do it. I turn around and head back inside.
“See? This started after I left the Farmer's Market and kept on until this morning. Lucas, when I got out of the shower that bitch was waiting in my living room.”
“And so you decided to lead her over here?” I ask, my voice calm. Audra plays with her dangling earring for a moment before shaking her head.
“She offered me a small fortune to tell me where you lived.” She holds up a finger before I can object. “But I didn't accept. I didn't like her attitude.” Audra shrugs and turns back toward the window, eyes scanning the neighborhood. “When she left, I looked around the block for her and didn't see anyone, so I decided to walk over here and get my car. When I got here, she was already parked across the street. I don't know how she found your address … the bitch is freaking me the fuck out.”
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. I don't need to wonder how she found me. If you have enough money, nothing's impossible in this world. In my line of work, I expect these things to happen. Creatures of darkness, like Clarice Braxton, sometimes revert back to their baser natures. What I wasn't prepared for was dragging someone else into the mix.
“Don't engage with her,” I tell Audra, wondering if this is my fault or if Clarice was already on her way to snapping. Did I cut her off because I truly believed she was cured? Or did I do it because I was just plain sick of her? It's hard to say. “I'll deal with this.”
“How?” Audra asks, moving towards the kitchen like she owns the place. When she picks up Robbie's glass and takes a sip of wine, I see red.
“That'll be all, Miss Holiday,” I tell her, storming across the living room and through the dining room to extract the glass from her hand. When our fingers brush, my pulse picks up speed and my dick stiffens unbearably, drawing me against
Audra's round body. When her hands touch my shoulders and her mouth flutters against my throat, I'm struck with memories of Robbie and the fact that I've just devirginized a teenager. I may be a heartless bastard, a devil in disguise, but I have composure as well as an inordinate amount of tact. Pushing Audra away is difficult – though it rightfully shouldn't be – but I manage to put some space between us and step back. “When you've decided to become my client, you can – ”
“Oh, but I've already decided,” she tells me with a smug smile, walking in a circle around me like she's the predator and I'm the prey. I don't like it. Not one bit. My eyes follow Audra's movements, narrowing in on her green eyes and the way the stray shafts of sunlight reflect back at me. Like a cat. I've always liked cats, but I have no intention of being the mouse.
“Then you'll need to – ” Audra interrupts me again and sends my blood pressure skyrocketing.
“I've decided not to become one.” When she reaches for me again, I slap her hand away. Audra pouts her lips at me, but doesn't make any move to leave. What the hell is she playing at? “But I do have a proposition of my own for you.”
“If you're not becoming my client, I have no interest in what you have to say. Now, take your hideously unfashionable car and leave.” Audra laughs at me, drawing me to a point of ire that's so dark, so deep that I actually become calmer. I settle into the black depths of my darkness and let it bubble up and out, filling me back up and taking up all those little spaces that Robbie cleared away.
“But you don't really want me to leave, do you, Lucas?” Audra smirks at my erection and then reaches up under her dress, dropping her panties to the floor and leaving them tangled up around her ankles. My own mouth turns up into a smirk.
“Is this supposed to entice me? Because I've seen better.” Her laughter is bright and sharp, tinged with a terribly dark edge that worries me. Audra needs my guidance. I think about Mark and wonder what will happen next time because believe me, there will be a next time for this woman. I'm not helping her dispose of another botched murder, especially not if it's someone of a higher profile, someone that society will actually miss. She's a liability to me, this Audra Holiday, this woman who was referred to me by her own fucking mother. Pamela, you are one disturbed little bitch, aren't you?
“Yeah? Your cock seems pretty happy to see me.” Audra steps out of her panties and cups my crotch. I let her, digging my fingernails into my palms so she can't see how much her touch really does affect me. I'm better than this. I won't let anyone take advantage of or control me. It's not going to happen.
“I'm just thinking about the little tart in my shower.” I run my tongue across my lips and watch as Audra's pupils dilate in response. Her mouth is swollen and covered in bright red lipstick, emphasizing the gentle part of her lips. Delicious. “Not fifteen minutes ago we had a real good time right here in my kitchen.” I snap the last word off, make it sharp. “A place I'd never even dream of inviting you.”
“Oh, so I'm relegated to sucking dick in the living room then?” Audra bends down and retrieves her panties, tucking them into my pocket with a sultry smile. As she turns to walk away, her dress rides up and flashes me the most perfect ass I've ever seen. Damn her to hell. But I can't and won't fuck Audra while Robbie is here. I hate that the only reason I'm winning this game is because of my neighbor, but there it is. If Robbie wasn't here, I'd ram Audra over my dining room table. Even though she's not my client, doesn't want to be my fucking client.
I cross my arms and rest my chin in my hand. What to do … what to do …
The sound of the shower shutting off sends another spike of fear up my spine. What is it with Robbie and this emotion I thought was long gone and buried forever? Fear would imply I had something to lose. My friendship with Robbie perhaps?
I drop my arms and move towards the front door, passing by Audra and wrenching it open before she gets the chance to saunter over.
“If you change your mind, please give me a call,” I say, my voice even and my expression stoic. I can see the surprise register on her face a split second before the bathroom door opens. Fuck.
“Luke?” Robbie asks, appearing with her chocolate hair black with moisture, hanging gently around her face. Her blue eyes cut into me for a split second before flashing to Audra with abject fear and a touch of embarrassment. She's wearing nothing but a crimson towel, wrapped tight around her athlete's body, kissing her pale skin like blood. I suck in a small breath between my teeth. Audra glances at me briefly before turning back to Robbie. The bitch notices everything.
“One moment. Audra here was just leaving.”
“Oh, was I?” Audra asks, crossing her arms over her breasts, appraising Robbie with a curious eye. “But we're engaged. Why should I leave? What I want to know is who the hell this is?” She gives me a false glare over her shoulder. “And why she's in your – no, no, no our – house.” Audra spins and gives me a gentle slap on the cheek. “Lucas Carter, explain yourself!” I grind my teeth together gently to gain some semblance of control and step aside with a hand out the open door.
“Audra,” I warn, wondering how the hell she knew about my engagement story. Or even if she's just come up with that one on her own to piss me off. I have no idea, and that's not commonplace for me. I'm out of my element, but I'm bound and determined to get back into it. Nobody bests Lucas Carter, not for long. “You were on your way out, so go.” I keep my gaze on Audra to stop myself from looking at Robbie. Audra simply rolls her eyes at me and gives Robbie a once over, shaking her head like she can't quite believe what she's seeing.
“A little young, don't you think?” The fact that Audra's question echoes what's in my own head only serves to make me angrier. I snatch her by her upper arm and growl into her ear.
“What'll it take to get you to leave now?” She grins and turns into me, capturing my mouth with hers. I don't return the kiss, but I don't fight either. I have to let Robbie believe Audra is my fiancée or getting rid of her will be a hell of a lot harder than it already is. The fact that I actually don't want her to go is gnawing at me. If the beast had access to someone like Robbie, it'd only be a matter of time before I'd snap, before my claws would really start to show and either she'd get hurt or go running. Just like Isadora. And to be quite frank, Isadora was no virgin when I met her. Robbie makes the former Mrs. Lucas look like a fucking whore with a soul as black as tar.
“Make me dinner. Obviously you know how to cook.” I drag Audra out onto the porch and give her my darkest look, the one that says I'm not playing around anymore. She retaliates with a scowl, wrenching her arm from my grasp and getting up in my face – right where Robbie can see. I refuse to look back and capture her expression. I'm sure it would haunt me for years to come. “I just want to talk, Lucas. That's it. Give me a chance.” Audra's entire stance spells violence, but she softens her voice just enough that I'm able to give in without feeling like I'm losing this battle.
“Fine. I'll send you a text tomorrow. Don't bother contacting me again before then.” I pause as she turns away. Lucky for her, Audra keeps her expression neutral. If I'd seen even a hint of victory … We're too dangerous together, dragging around these demons. If she were a client, I could handle it, but as … friends? It isn't going to happen. I have no idea what she wants, but I may as well hear her out. If that's what it takes to get a few more moments of alone time with Robbie, I'll take it. I have to clean up the mess I just made, and I'd prefer not to have any spectators.
“Tomorrow,” Audra whispers, just loud enough for me to hear her. I wait until she's climbed into her car and pulled out of the driveway before I retreat back inside and close the front door behind me.
Robbie's nowhere to be seen, and I get another dose of that precious emotion. Fear. Did she run out the back door when I was talking to Audra? Should that even bother me if she did? I'm not particularly worried about her parents, about the security cameras … I can deal with any of that. I growl and shove both hands through my hair, notici
ng that the bathroom light is still on. I decide to drop my hands by my sides and wait to see if she'll come out. After only a few moments, Robbie appears dressed in her sweater and shorts. Her wet hair is back in a bun, her face beautifully devoid of makeup. I don't get to see women this raw, this perfect, very often. My throat tightens and I find it hard to breathe.
“Luke, you didn't use a condom,” Robbie says, surprising me with her frankness. When her blue eyes raise up and find mine, I take an unintentional step forward.
“I've had a vasectomy,” I say without bothering to explain. She nods her head for a moment and then nibbles at her lower lip. Before she can speak, I add, “And I've been tested recently. If it helps, I'll be going in again this week. I'd be happy to produce the results.” Robbie laughs, but it isn't the happy, carefree sound it should be. I'm already tainting her, drawing her down into the depths of hell with me.
“This wasn't about results, Luke,” Robbie says softly, moving back into the kitchen and reaching for the wine glass. When she finds that it's empty, she sets it down with a sigh. Glancing over her shoulder, Robbie tries to smile at me. “That's not your fiancée, is it?” I purse my lips, but I don't speak, not yet. If I let Robbie talk herself out, I'll get more information on how she's feeling. I cross my arms gently over my chest, pretending I don't even notice the throbbing erection in my slacks. “But you like her, don't you?”
“Audra Holiday is a pain in my ass,” I state and Robbie chuckles, grabbing the wine bottle from the counter. She stares at the red liquid for a moment before pouring herself another glass – this time using my wine glass. I notice she pointedly avoids looking at Audra's red lipstick stains on the other.
“She was helping you carry the body. I mean … I guess she would be since she was the one that brought it in here?” I struggle to keep my composure as Robbie sips the wine and sighs, glancing down at a small red splotch on the floor with a rising blush climbing up the back of her swan like neck. Blood, I imagine.
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