“Okay, Lucas,” Audra says, her voice full of desperation and violence. “Okay, let's make this thing happen.”
If I didn't know any better, I might say her words were inspirational.
I move outside and bum a cigarette off a group of strippers on break. As soon as one of them offers me a blow job in the alley around back, I know that there are no cameras there. Call it a trick of the trade.
“Is that even safe?” I scoff, looking up and surveying the roofline around the club. No cameras here either. Nowadays, it's getting harder and harder to find a place without any, but I suppose if you want to attract criminals and lowlives, you have to take risks. Nobody in this crowd wants their face on camera.
“You're a man, ain't ya?” one of them asks me, and I swear to God she isn't a day over eighteen. I want to hit her across the face, knock some sense into her and tell her to run, far, far away from this miserable hell hole.
I say nothing.
“I'm a man, but it don't mean I wanna be shanked. Fucking bitch.” I snatch the stripper's lighter and fire up my borrowed cigarette, the one I have no intention of smoking. Apparently, my act is believable and the girls all giggle. I swear, they can smell money.
“It ain't a nursery back there, baby, but I'll make it worth your while. Time I'm finished with your ass, you won't care if you was shanked or robbed blind.” The blonde girl flicks my crotch and tosses a wink at the teenager. I brush them both off and disappear back inside, signaling Audra from the doorway with a smile. I wave Clarice over next and the two of us walk out arm in arm.
“I'm bored, Lucas. I mean, the strip club idea was nice, but I'm already fired up for you. Let's get to the intercourse.”
“The intercourse?” My lip curls. “You mean the fucking, don't you?” Clarice blanches and looks away, but I don't press the issue. At this point, I could give a shit less about her. I almost don't want to share my kill, my revenge, with a stupid waste of breath and blood like this.
“Where are we going? The car's the other way.” I drag Clarice along, letting her totter on her heels along the bumpy sidewalk. Audra's assured me that she can get Lloyd into the alley and keep him occupied until I get there. The thing is, I don't want to know exactly how she plans to keep him occupied. If he lays a fucking finger on her …
I growl and Clarice jumps.
“You never used to make those sounds before,” Clarice says, her shiny burgundy lips reflecting back the neon signs like a pool of blood. “I like it, though. So animalistic, very sexy.”
“Shut your mouth, Clarice. I don't care whether you like them or not. Listen to me when I say that tonight, nothing I do is for your benefit.”
She slips her arm from mine and tries to smack me, but it doesn't work. I just keep walking. All around us the night comes to life in this part of town and it is not a beautiful sight to behold. No stars glitter in the light polluted sky, no frogs or crickets sing, no trees sway in the breeze. Here we have drug dealers and hookers, lowlives and hardcore felons, bars, strip clubs, smoke shops, and a horde of mangy stray dogs who – as far as I'm concerned – are the saddest victims in this section of the concrete jungle.
“If it's not for my benefit, then why am I even here?”
“Stop it, Clarice,” I snap, looking ahead and searching for possible hot spots along our short trip around the block. As much as I want to head back, hide behind the Dumpster and wait for Lloyd, I have to cover my tracks. Leaving the bar and circling around to the mechanic's shop on the other side is the smartest option here, provided, of course, they are also bereft of security cameras. We can hop the fence and be back there as soon as Audra lets us know the coast is clear.
“No,” she snarls back at me, practically foaming at the mouth. If I didn't know better, I'd say the woman had rabies. As Clarice turns her darkness full force on me, all I can think is how much time this is taking up. I don't want Audra left alone with that scumbag, not for a single minute. Since Aliyah's parents were out of the country at her time of death, I was the one who had to identify the body. I know what the man is capable of. If I felt it were possible, or safe, I would lure him away from the club, somewhere we could have more private time, a little more space, a chance for creativity. As things stand, I'm going to have to take this ultimate chance at revenge and make it happen quick. “You need me, Lucas. We need each other. I told you, you'll do what I say or I'll call the cops.”
I spin back around and storm towards Clarice like a rain cloud, spilling drops of rage across the sidewalk. I snatch her chin in my fingers at the same moment I block a knife strike from the side. Clarice has a three inch naked blade in her hand, some silver piece of work that's probably more adept at carving pot roast than committing crimes, but it'll cut and it will hurt.
“You have darkness in you, Clarice. Audra does. I do. The three of us, we have cravings. Like Mark. Like your sister. Blood, pain, misery. We drink it up like wine. There's no resisting the urge, no fighting it. We've been wronged by the world, so we wrong it in turn.”
She spits at me, but I don't let go and nobody interrupts us. On this side of town, this is the norm for a street corner at this time of night.
“Do you want to feel it again, that sense of power and pain?”
“I want to get fucked,” Clarice gasps, dropping the knife onto the sidewalk and letting her eyes fill with false tears. “There, I said it. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I want your dick, Lucas. Your mouth. I want you.” I smile at her. It's as false as her breasts, but she doesn't have to know that.
“Then show me, prove it to me. There's a man here tonight, a man I want dead. His suffering means more to me than life itself. Follow your demons, embrace your darkness, and let's end him here. Together. If you can prove yourself to me, I'll consider bringing you into the fold.”
“Are you really engaged to Audra?” Clarice asks, cocking her head to the side. “I had a private investigator look her up, you know. She's nothing special. Some nobody from Illinois who moved here when she was eight years old. Her dad was a fucking child molester.”
I feel my insides curl at Clarice's words. At least I know Audra was telling me the truth, although I wish she were lying, that she hadn't suffered at the hands of a monster ten times worse than my worst client.
“Of course not,” I tell Clarice, trying to soothe her ruffled feathers. Goddamn it. I need to get to Audra before she spends too much alone time with Lloyd. I don't want him to touch her, to feel that perfectly smooth skin, those ripe breasts, that silken mane of hair. I grit my teeth and release Clarice, cupping my crotch tight with my right hand. “Look what you do to me,” I lie, letting Clarice see the massive bulge in my slacks. “Of course I'd rather have you than Audra, but she saw me kill Mark. I'm indebted to her. I have to do what she asks.”
I allow Clarice to feel me up, but just for a moment. I take her hands in mine and pretend to caress them. In reality, I'm imagining what it would feel like to snap the bones inside to pieces.
“If we can get her to go through with this, it'll all be evened out. You, me, Audra. We'll all have dirt on one another.”
It's a lame lie, but it's all I can come up with on such short notice. My brain has been electrified and my heart is beating so loud I can barely hear the rush of traffic from the nearby highway. Such finesse, Lucas Carter. You used to have such finesse. I allow my demons to mock me. Why not? I'm making a fool of myself in my frenzy. Somehow, I get the feeling this isn't going to turn out well for anyone.
Clarice stares at me for a moment, but I can't decide if she's bought the lie or not. When she leans in towards me, kissing my frozen lips with desire and darkness, I feel a spark of strange, macabre, blood tinged hope.
“Let's go.” I try to pull her along, but she remains still, locked in a single spot on the dirty sidewalk. My anxiety climbs up a notch. If this keeps up, I'm going to lose my patience. In the state I'm in now, that would mean a very, very nasty ending for Clarice.
“Why do I have to go?” she asks
, tilting her head to the side. Her pupils are dilated, her lips slightly parted. “Why can't Audra and you do this together? Then, once you're free, we can do whatever we want. Mr. Braxton doesn't give a shit about me. As long as I fuck him every now and again, hang off of his arm at cocktail parties, that's all that matters.”
“Clarice,” I say, and I let the truth bleed into my words. “I can't do this without you.”
“You mean, you can't escape me if I don't do it with you. Is that it?”
My head begins to spin, the world shifting and shaking around me. So many things are happening to me right now that it's hard to think. The weak pledges I made to myself not an hour ago? Gone. I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't have time for this. I tell myself it's just my worry for Audra that's egging me on, but I know that isn't entirely true. Lloyd. Having him so close is making me sick to my stomach, stealing away my resolve. Once again, Audra Holiday has figured out how to surprise and disarm me.
I snap from my thoughts in time to see Clarice pulling her cellphone out of the white, glittery clutch she's been carrying around. I don't know who she intends to dial, and I don't give a shit. It doesn't matter. In this moment, it doesn't fucking matter.
“I have to go, Clarice,” I tell her, backing up with my hands raised in surrender. “You do what you need to do, okay? You fucking call the cops if you want. Or … ” I reach down in a last ditch effort and unzip my pants, flashing my bare, erect cock to Clarice. “You can come with me and see for yourself.”
Clarice holds her phone in one hand, the light from the screen highlighting her surgically altered nose and cheekbones. She stares at my dick for a moment and then snaps a picture.
“You'll never be rid of me, Lucas, not until I want you to be.” She smiles as I zip up my slacks. “But here's what I'll do.” Clarice steps back, putting her body against a nearby fence, ass out. “Fuck me here. Now. Do it and I'll walk away, give you some time to think things through.”
I panic then. I don't know how it happens because, for nearly a decade, I haven't had the ability to panic, to let fear overtake me. Not since I met Robbie – or Audra maybe. My knife comes up, the blunt end out and I clutch it tight, swinging at the side of Clarice's head hard. When she collapses, I scoop her up in my arms and let her body sway with the movement of my sudden jog. To anyone watching, it might look as if the blonde is simply drunk. If the trickle of blood on the side of her head is a give away, well, good luck catching up.
I'm running as fast as I can, sprinting around the block and dropping Clarice to the ground next to the fence. It's only after I fling her comatose form into the dirt that I think to check for cameras. Fortunately, I don't see any. The shop is closed and boarded up and yes, while there is a possibility I might be missing a camera, I highly doubt it.
I take a breath, smooth my hands down my cheap tie, and reach up to grab the top of the rickety wooden fence.
Audra Holiday is standing there, her back to Lloyd, a strange smile on her face. His grimy hand is wrapped around her breast, caressing and teasing with knobby fingers that don't look as if they've ever managed to please a woman. His movements are rough, his expression rougher. Oh, and there's a fucking gun in his hand.
He doesn't see me – yet – but he is looking around the alley, turning the pair of them in slow circles as his brown eyes flicker this way and that.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” I slide slowly back down to the hard packed dirt on my side of the fence. “Lucas. Fucking. Carter. I mean, wow. Just wow. It's been years, hasn't it?”
What the fuck now, Lucas? What are you going to do now?
“When this little bitch called me up and offered you to me on a silver platter, well, how the fuck was I going to resist that? Smart, little cookie. Tasty little cookie.”
Audra Holiday grunts in pain or frustration, I'm not sure which, but I don't climb the fence again, instead keeping the element of surprise on my side. I get the feeling Lloyd's been talking to himself since they came out here. He doesn't know when I'll show up or from which direction. I finger my father's pocketknife and try to think up a solution that'll get Audra and me out of here without getting hurt.
“Lucas Carter, my God. It's been years since I've heard that fucking name. White trash piece of shit. Should've stayed in that housing project where you belonged. My sister had everything until you showed up. You defiled her, ruined her, dragged her down to your level. After what you done, there was no saving her ass. Not in this life anyway.”
Lloyd sighs, not like he's upset or regretful, but more like he's just frustrated. With his sister, with me. I close my eyes and allow myself to envision his pasty white skin coated in red blood. My fingers curl into fists and the demons black out my vision, taking over.
I don't fight the transformation.
Tonight, no matter what else happens, Lloyd Owens is going to die.
“I'm gettin' tired of talking here, bitch. Where in the hell is he?”
“I told you,” Audra gripes, sounding more exasperated than afraid, “he's on his way. I told him to circle the block and hop the fence. He'll be here.”
“He better fucking be, you stupid ass cunt.”
As I lean against the fencing and weave my demons through my soul, let them bind my pain back, so I can think with a clear head, so I can think as Lucas fucking Carter, I hear Audra grunt. The sound of her heels stumbling across the dirty ground is unmistakable.
“Might as well get something out of this,” Lloyd grunts. Three breaths later, I hear a struggle on the opposite side of the fence. The Luke in me wants to kick the fence in and shove my blade down Lloyd's throat, but that could get me killed. That could very well get all of us killed – or worse. Lloyd has a gun, as most back alley wandering pieces of shit do. I, of course, never carry a gun because why on earth would a normal, average, everyday man like myself need one? I could never afford to be caught with a firearm in my possession, not with the cops and especially not with my clients. Margarite Simmons with a revolver? Huh. Well, that certainly wouldn't end well for me. Besides, my darkness doesn't want to pull a trigger and drop a man. He wants to savor their end, taste their blood, feel the heat of their last dying breath.
I smile.
I can do this, waste Lloyd here and now, wipe my feet of the man and rest happy knowing he died like the scum he is. As far as I'm concerned, the dirty alley behind The Wild Tuna is a fairly honorable place for a man of his status.
Clarice Braxton chooses the perfect moment to wake up, moaning like a drunk at a fraternity party. I step away from her and blend into the shadows behind a rusted up truck. My father's knife is in my hand, bleeding evil through my veins. I can't help myself – I lick the blade.
“The fuck is that?” Lloyd snarls a split second before his foot smashes apart some of the rotting boards. Audra Holiday is shoved through the opening first, her heels catching on the splintered wood. She stumbles to the ground next to Clarice, her black thong exposed. Never have I seen a woman look more capable of protecting herself however. The fall, the panties, all of it is part of an act. When Audra lifts her face from the dirt, it's blood and bruise free, and she's smiling.
Whatever happened behind that fence went more her way than his. Thank the Gods of darkness.
Audra tilts her gaze towards me, and I know she sees me lounging in the shadows like a demon.
“Who the hell is this little bunny?” Lloyd asks, rolling Clarice over with his foot. He has a massive erection straining against his grimy pants. I want nothing more than to slice it right off. “A drunk little rabbit waiting for ol' Lloyd, huh?” The man looks around, peering right at me but not seeing me. It's a special skill, I'll admit.
Lloyd examines his surroundings, leaving the barrel of his gun pointing straight at Audra's head as he combs the mechanic's parking lot for me.
“Lucas,” he coos, leaning up on his toes like the few inches of clearance will help him spot me. “Here kitty, kitty, kitty.”
I grin and flip the knife around, keeping the blade at my side.
“I'm getting tired of waiting, pussycat. Either Lucas shows his face in the next two minutes or I'm taking you two beauties home with me.”
Luke tries to push my feet forward, to get me to rush out and play the hero I'll never be, but I let the darkness overwhelm me until all I can hear is the strangled breath of his dying cries. I can't be Luke. When Aliyah died, Luke died with her. There's no such thing as resurrection in this world, just pain and darkness and blood.
In my front right pocket, my phone buzzes, alerting me to an incoming call. Fortunately it's not enough to grab Lloyd's attention. He's too busy using the toe of his boot to tug down the top of Clarice's dress. The phone goes still and a second later, it starts up again. As my lip curls in disgust at Lloyd's actions, I snatch it out and turn it to silent. As I'm going through the motion, well aware that if the man looks my way, the light from the screen will give me away, I see an unfamiliar number on the screen. It's labeled The Carrells because, of course, when I moved into the neighborhood I gave all the neighbors my number and asked for theirs in case of an emergency. Because that's what good neighbors go. Because that's what Lucas Carter knew he had to do to keep the world at bay.
I hate how badly I want to answer that fucking phone and how horrible it feels to know that I can't. Even if I wasn't lurking in the shadows with a knife in my hand and murder in my heart, I couldn't answer it. Robbie. Heh. What the fuck would Robbie think of me if she could see me now? No, she didn't act disturbed about Mark, but that was only because she hadn't seen my rage, my pain, my violence, firsthand.
I finish switching the phone to silent and shove it back in my pocket.
“You got nice tits, little rabbit,” Lloyd says, running his tongue over his thin lips. Clarice is still moaning, the blood on the side of her face drying to a dark rust color while Audra looks on without much interest. At her sides, I see her fists clutched and shaking with the need for violence, but she's waiting for me and she knows I'm here. It's time for me to act. Half of me whispers get this over with while the other half howls with unrestrained joy. But it doesn't matter. Whether I like it or not, I'm doing this. Right here. Right now.
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