He chuckled, smoothing down her skirt and softly kissing her neck, tickling her and making her giggle.
“I try to have the woman’s best interests at heart,” he whispered in her ear.
“And who has yours?” she asked suddenly, realizing in a flash that all his years of sacrificing for Katie, of doing what he did without a wife or a partner, meant he was alone. No one was looking out for Ty.
He pulled back, looking at her with questions swirling in his eyes.
“Maybe it’s time someone put your interests first,” she murmured, dropping to her knees and tugging at his jeans that were already unbuttoned and unzipped.
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” she said clearly, looking up at him as she pulled his cock free from his boxer briefs. She breathed deeply of the scent of him—salty, earthy, so good. Then she held his shaft firmly in her hand and stroked her tongue from base to tip, eliciting a rough groan from deep in his throat. As she wrapped her lips around the width of him, and slowly, ever so slowly slid his cock into her mouth until it touched the back of her throat, his fingers found their way into her hair. He massaged her scalp, his breath becoming harsh and uneven, his hips thrusting ever so slightly in response to her suction.
Jodi was on her knees, and yet completely in control of the situation. She wrapped an arm around Ty’s slim hips and began to pump him in and out of her mouth, swirling his tip with her tongue, scraping gently with her teeth.
“Jesus,” he gasped as his hips jerked rhythmically. “That’s fucking amazing.”
She smiled, because it felt good to give him something, anything, after he’d given her everything she’d ever wanted today.
“God, Jodi, you need to stop—”
She shook her head and took him even deeper, and he groaned again but thrust harder, faster, his hands tightening in her hair, squeezing her skull with the perfect amount of pressure. Her core clenched, and she knew that if she touched herself, she’d explode again. But this wasn’t about her, it was about Ty, the man who’d taken the biggest mistake of her life—leaving her child—and turned it into something so perfect and beautiful, Jodi wasn’t sure Katie was really part of this world.
Then he gritted out a string of profanity, and she took him deep, swallowing around him as he came, taking everything he had and loving every second of it. Someone had to put Ty first. She thought maybe she wanted to be that someone.
9
Panic welled up in Ty as he stood and watched Jodi tuck his dick back in his jeans. He was so spent, so dazed and confused, he couldn’t even manage to get himself in order. He’d just experienced an orgasm that would live on as the orgasm forever. The orgasm that showed him how fucking dangerous his life had just gotten.
Because he’d just had almost-sex with the woman who could take away the thing he loved most in the entire world. And he’d known that before he shoved his tongue and then his cock in her mouth, but he hadn’t cared. He’d been so swept away with her beautiful blue eyes and her soft blonde locks, the strong curves of her ass and breasts, the way she gazed at him when he talked, the tone her voice took on when she spoke of Katie—that he’d intentionally put Katie at risk.
If Jodi couldn’t be trusted, if she wanted more of Katie than he could give, then he’d just given her the opening. He might as well have shouted, Manipulate me with sex. He could just imagine the testimony in court: Why yes, Your Honor, I did have sex with her. And yes, Your Honor, she does come to dinner, and spend time with Katie, and give her gifts. But no, Your Honor, I don’t think she should be able to legally.
He’d look like a complete asshole, and he knew it. And maybe Jodi knew it too, and that was why she didn’t seem to mind that what had started off as a talk about their daughter had ended up with a blow job on the beach.
He stepped back from her and put a hand out to help her stand because the gentlemanly thing was so damn ingrained in him he simply couldn’t help himself. She brushed sand off her knees, and he felt a little sick to his stomach. He had to turn slightly away then, unable to look her in the eye, realizing he’d made such a grave error and done it so willingly.
His gaze dropped to the sand below them, and he could just make out the sparkle of the little charm bracelet they’d dropped. He quickly zipped his jeans, then bent to retrieve the jewelry. He ran it through his fingers once, then turned to Jodi and did what he had to.
“I’d like to wait a bit before we start in on gifts,” he said quietly, pretending he didn’t hear the little intake of breath as Jodi’s whole body stiffened. “Let’s take it one day at a time. Tomorrow, she can show you her dog and her room. Maybe the next time, you can watch her dance class or her favorite movie.”
He avoided Jodi’s gaze. He knew what he’d find there, and he couldn’t face it. He was being a dick, but on the off chance she did have an ulterior motive, he couldn’t risk being anything else.
“Um, okay, of course,” she answered in a soft voice, disappointment soaking every word. “Whatever you think is best.”
He dropped the bracelet into her outstretched palm and cleared his throat.
“I’m not sure what to say now,” he admitted. “We probably shouldn’t have—”
“It’s fine.” Her voice was stronger, neutral, all emotion masked. He’d done that. He’d had to do that. “Just pretend it never happened.” She gave him a bloodless smile and clutched the bracelet hard in her fist.
Yeah, like he could pretend an orgasm like that had never happened. Hell, that was the orgasm by which all other orgasms would be measured for the rest of his damn life.
“I should get going,” she continued as he stood there like an idiot and tried to get his head together—or whatever that was shaking around inside him. “I’ll be there tomorrow. No gifts. Well, not for Katie, anyway. I might bring something for Lynn.”
Then she plastered on one last, tight smile and turned to walk back up the beach toward the parking lot.
“Here, let me walk you to your—”
She whipped around. “No. Thank you. I think we’ve done enough damage for tonight. Let’s stop while we’re ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Then she marched away in the dark, and Ty stood there wondering how in the hell he’d managed to make such a mess so fast.
They were a godless bunch, the Jenkinses. His mother had been the one who went to church, but Ty and his brothers and dad had spent Sundays surfing, and Lynn wasn’t much for organized religion either. Sundays at the ranch were generally for big breakfasts, catching up on a few chores, and then whatever the hell made you happy. But right now, Ty was questioning whether he should perhaps have brought God into Katie’s rearing, because the Lord might be the only one who could save him at this point.
“I don’t wanna!” Katie stamped her small foot, arms crossed, brow creased in frustration.
“Katie,” Ty warned, scowling down at the small hellion. “You know the rules. If you’re going to own a pony, then you have to take care of it. Beau needs his stall mucked out, and as his owner, it’s your job to do it. If he lives with all that poop and dirty hay in there, it’ll make him sick, and I know you don’t want him to get sick.”
Katie scowled, then something akin to a lightbulb going on crossed her face, and her eyes narrowed.
“I want my mommy!” she declared.
Ty’s whole chest seized. What the ever-loving fuck?
“Your mother has nothing to do with this, Katherine Sophia,” he growled.
Credit to his daughter, she didn’t even flinch. The kid was entirely fearless.
“My mommy’s pretty and nice, and she would never make me do somethin’ I didn’t wanna. I want her right now!” Then her lower lip quivered, and tears began to track down her face.
Ty sighed, the stern father going out of him like air from a leaking balloon. He knelt down and pulled the little demon into his arms.
“Aw, bug. You feeling a little off-center this morning?” he asked, strok
ing her back.
Her head nodded against his shoulder as she sniffed.
“Me too,” he whispered softly into her hair. “I know it’s a lot to understand. Having a mom show up all the sudden like this. And if you don’t want to see her for a bit, maybe take a break, that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad girl, and it won’t mean she goes away. Your mother and I agreed that this is all up to you. However much you want to do. You can see her quite a bit, or not at all for a while. She’ll understand, and she won’t go anywhere. She’s here for you. She’ll stay right here for you.” In his mind, Ty crossed his fingers that it was true, and prayed to his newfound friend above he hadn’t done anything to send Jodi packing last night.
Katie pulled back to look him in the eye, her gaze tearful and serious. “I want everything to be like it always is, but with Mommy here too—like she’s always been here so it’s not hard. I don’t wanna have to ask to see her or wonder if she’s coming.”
Ty smiled gently and wiped away her tears with his thumb. “Would it be easier if the grown-ups just made the decisions for you so you don’t have to worry about it all?”
She nodded. “As long as you don’t send Mommy away.”
“I won’t send Mommy away, baby. I promise. You just let me worry about it, and you enjoy her when she’s around. How’s that?”
She nodded again, her face clearing and a smile setting in finally. “But, Daddy?”
“Yes, bug,” Ty said, standing but keeping ahold of her hand.
“I still don’t want to muck out the stall.”
Ty chuckled. “I know, bug, but it has to be done.”
Katie sighed heavily, then picked up the child-sized shovel Ty had bought for her and headed toward the barn. Ty shook his head as he watched her go.
“There will be some moments like this,” Lynn’s voice carried across the porch as she walked out of the kitchen.
“I think it’s maybe more responsibility than she can handle right now,” he answered, turning to lean his ass against the railing so he could face Lynn. “She wants everything to be like it always is, but with a mother inserted smoothly into the empty spot.”
Lynn chuckled. “Of course she does. Wouldn’t you prefer it that way?”
He shrugged. “I suppose so. Although I don’t really know what that would look like. I mean, would it have been Jodi here from the beginning? Because that’d mean I wouldn’t have been the primary parent, and that breaks my heart.”
Lynn watched him warily, but he continued, spilling some of the thoughts that spiraled through his mind.
“Would it have meant Jodi showing up two or three years ago, before Katie was really old enough to be cognizant of it all?” He sighed. “Would it have been me and Jodi married, even though we hardly knew each other and undoubtedly would have ended up divorced?”
“You don’t know that,” Lynn said softly.
“I also don’t know what I want or would have wanted. I can’t say I don’t want it to have happened, because I got Katie out of it, but I don’t know what I would have chosen—how I would have wanted this all to look—us to look.”
“And it doesn’t really matter,” Lynn said, “because you can’t change what’s happened. Katie can wish to remake the past, but you’re an adult, and you know that’s not possible. You know the only thing you can affect is what comes next.”
Ty nodded. His logical part knew all that. But the part that had been inside Jodi last night was anything but rational. And what was that part, anyway? Lust? Anger? Desire? Something more? He had no idea. No clue what his traitorous body and befuddled head were doing.
“We were going to let Katie decide how all this played out, but I’m not sure that’s what she wants.”
“Then by taking over, you’re letting her decide,” Lynn said. “She’s leading by saying she doesn’t want to lead.”
Right. That made sense. “I don’t know what to do either, though. A week ago, I’d have said I didn’t want Jodi here at all, but it’s too late for that now. And I’m not sure that’s what I really wanted anyway.”
Lynn smiled patiently. “Maybe it’s not Katie who needs to decide what should happen here, but you. Maybe it’s just as important for you to get to know Jodi as for Katie to.”
Ty thought about that. About the woman he’d dated, the woman who’d given birth to his daughter. And he thought about what he knew of her. It wasn’t actually all that much. The time they’d spent together had been sweet but brief. Nights at the Shark Tooth, days on the beach. A lot of flirting when he came to get coffee from her at Lynn’s café, a lot of sex when she’d come to the ranch after work.
Ty knew that Jodi was raised by a single mother who struggled with everything. He knew she’d graduated from college in Oregon and then traveled south with her friend Darcy for a year of adventure wherever the wind blew them. He knew she had a nursing degree and intended to get a job as a surgical nurse after her gap year—until she got pregnant. He knew she loved coconut anything and her crystal-blue eyes turned dark and liquid when she watched him while she orgasmed. He knew her laugh was quiet, kind of like her, but her smiles were big, and her fears were as well. And he knew she’d been unable to be a mother when she was twenty-two.
Beyond that? He didn’t know a hell of a lot. Maybe Lynn was right. Maybe he needed to get to know the woman who was such a big part of his child, yet had been no part of their lives until now.
Lynn patted him on the cheek like she’d done his whole life, and he was reminded how much he loved her, how crucial she’d become to him and his brothers. How much she’d sacrificed to take care of them all, and especially Katie. Yet she’d never once complained, never resented any of them or asked for a single thing in return.
“You’ll figure this out, Ty,” she told him. “I can see it happening already. The three of you are going to be just fine. Don’t let the rough patches along the way keep you from what you really want.”
“I don’t know what I really want,” he said. “That’s the point.”
“Sure you do,” she answered as she strode away. “You just haven’t admitted it to yourself yet.”
10
“Daddy! Mommy’s here! She’s here!” Katie careened off the top step of the porch, landing with a thud in the gravel driveway before she sprinted toward Jodi.
At the last minute, though, she slowed, suddenly shy and uncertain. “Hi,” Jodi said as Katie approached, a finger in her mouth, her eyes big. Jodi knelt down. “I’m really happy to see you.”
Katie stepped closer, then whispered, “Can I hug you?”
“Anytime you want. The more the better.”
And that was all it took. Katie fell into her arms, and Jodi had that sensation again, as though she was finally complete in a way she’d never been before. A missing puzzle piece of her put back into place.
She inhaled the damp, country smell of her daughter, felt the soft brush of her white-blonde hair, and the velvet touch of her tender cheek. She almost couldn’t bear the joy she felt, it was so enormous, so overwhelming.
Katie pulled back. “Now we have to go see Beauregard. I washed him today so he would look pretty for you.”
Jodi grinned. “I can’t wait,” she said, standing and holding on to Katie’s hand. “Show me the way.”
A throat clearing told her they weren’t alone, and she looked up to see Ty approaching. Her chest clenched, and she reminded herself of the humiliation the night before. Of the look on his face when he dropped the charm bracelet back in her hand, that cold mask that slid over his face and carved a trench between them, a valley she doubted could ever be crossed again. But she couldn’t think about it, couldn’t be hurt. Bad feelings about Ty were something she couldn’t afford to have, so she pasted on a polite smile and waited until he reached them.
“Hi. Sorry if she accosted you. I told her to wait for you to get to the door, but she was a little bit excited.” He ruffled Katie’s hair. “Weren’t you, bug?”
�
�It’s fine,” Jodi answered, her gaze everywhere but on his. It simply hurt too much to look into those eyes again.
“I want to show Mama Beau. He’s so clean!”
“Well, lead the way, then.” Ty gestured toward the barn.
Jodi hadn’t thought that after five years, her memories of the two of them together would be so strong. But when his lips had touched hers the night before, it had all come flooding back. The sensations, the tastes, the smell of him, of them. The way his hands caressed her skin, the heft of his cock in her hand. Jodi remembered Ty in ways she hadn’t even realized.
And apparently, she also remembered every place they’d fooled around, because when they entered the barn, her gaze shot straight to the fourth stall on the left, where Ty had once laid her down on a scratchy blanket, rucked her flimsy skirt up, and worked her over with his mouth until she cried out so loud, it scared the horses.
Katie was extolling Beau the pony’s every virtue, and Jodi was struggling to catch up as the memories assaulted her, when she felt a touch on her elbow. “That’s always been my favorite stall,” Ty whispered in her ear as his chin tipped toward number four on the left. “Do you remember why that might be?”
She felt a flush work its way up her cheeks. He chuckled softly as Katie lifted one of Beau’s hooves and described exactly how she’d cleaned it, digging mud and manure out from around the horseshoe.
The tour continued, and Jodi met the dogs, got reintroduced to the ranch’s oldest, most valuable hand, Dirk, and saw the garden Katie had planted with Aunt Lynn.
But through it all, she couldn’t keep her focus on anything except Ty. The man wasn’t making it easy to ignore him either. He stayed pretty much glued to her side, his deep voice sending little waves of excitement through her every time he spoke or laughed.
It was as though the end of last night hadn’t happened and he was back to being the man who kissed her on the beach, consequences be damned. By the time dinner was served, her head was spinning, and she was growing to resent him immensely for sucking her energy and enjoyment away from Katie.
Ty's Heart: California Cowboys 3 Page 8