by Agatha Frost
Julia sat up and looked at him. “But what about the Wellington family fortune?”
Brian let out a dry laugh similar to Katie’s. “Fortune? That was old money. It was always going to run out eventually, especially given how badly Vincent invested it. I went back through the records. He halved the fortune with every recession. We lost a lot when Katie tried to turn this place into a spa, and then even more on the failed fake tan business. They were our last hopes, and we could only get so far with interest payments. The pot ran dry a long time ago.”
“Does Katie know?”
Brian shook his head. “Why do you think I got my old job back at the antiques barn? We’ve been living hand to mouth from that for the past year, trying to keep the debt collectors away. We still owe money from the failed ventures. On top of that, the household bills are astronomical, and the place is falling to pieces around us. I’ve been secretly selling off the most valuable stuff for months to keep us afloat, but this is it. It’s over. I’ve ruined everything.”
Julia could count on one hand how many times she had seen her father cry, and surprisingly, her mother’s funeral hadn’t been one of them. At the time, she had thought he was a mean, cold, heartless man, but looking back as an adult, she now knew he had been too shell-shocked to process losing his wife to cancer. It stunned her to see him cry now. He pulled away from her and followed Hilary up the stairs without another word.
Julia stood up, unseen by the officers rushing around her. She thought back to the question Christie had asked her in the kitchen before Hilary interrupted them.
Why had she been out of bed?
She had spent the last hour blocking the pregnancy test out of her mind, unsure if she could handle the result in such a fragile state.
Whether it was the tea, the police presence, or having her father and Katie back, the shock of the nightmare began melting away. Like she had done in her ignorant state, tiptoeing through the darkness, she set off towards the downstairs bathroom once again.
The officers in the sitting room didn’t notice her slip through the open door. She wanted to pull it shut and lock it, but the electricity was still off, and the grey daylight could not reach inside the windowless room. She couldn’t just pick up the test and go somewhere well-lit to look at it; she needed to be alone.
Leaving the door open enough to see, she spotted the test untouched in the corner. She picked it up and straightened it without turning it over right away. She faced the mirror and stared at herself as she had done after the scent of the nail polish had driven her to the bathroom in the first place.
Staring into her own eyes, she gave herself a tight smile and summoned every ounce of her courage.
“No matter the result,” she said to herself, “you’ll be okay.”
But when she spun the test around, she was greeted by the answer she hadn’t expected. Tears clouded her vision as she read the one word that was going to change the course of her life forever.
Pregnant.
4
Julia snuck upstairs and quickly changed from the borrowed pyjamas and dressing gown back into the dress she had arrived in. She slipped on her shoes by the front door and left the manor before anyone could say otherwise. It took some fiddly three-point turns to squeeze out between the messily parked police cars cluttering the front of the manor, but before long, she was speeding down the long driveway back towards the village.
She considered going home, but she wasn’t sure being alone with such news would be the best idea, especially with Barker not due back for hours. She missed the turning that would take her up to Peridale Farm and down to her cottage and continued on to the village.
Given the above-average age of Peridale’s population, most were unusually early risers, but few ventured out of their cottages until the first shops started to open. Though Julia knew many people were already awake, at only a little after 7am, the village felt abandoned. Aside from one man walking a dog, she didn’t see another soul – and yet, she didn’t feel alone; she wasn’t alone anymore.
Julia parked in her usual spot in the shadowy alley between her café and the post office, and for the first time since reading the results of the test, she allowed herself to smile. She rested a hand on her tummy, her smile growing wider still.
It would be awhile until she physically showed, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t feel the change in her soul. She almost couldn’t believe she had spent so many sleepless hours tossing and turning while dismissing the idea – although if she had done a test when she first found them, she doubted she would have slept. Doubtless, the rest of the night still would have played out as it had.
Julia glanced at herself in the rear-view mirror. She looked a fright, but she didn’t care. She dug around in the glove compartment and found a twisted bobble. Pulling her curls off her face didn’t stop her looking tired, but at least she no longer looked like she had been evading a hairbrush at all costs. Compared to the monumental miracle of life already growing within her, she doubted anything so trivial would ever matter again.
After leaving her car, she walked to the front of her café, its exterior still fresh and shiny after the previous month’s total refurbishment. She glanced up at the flat above the post office next door, but the curtains were drawn. Living so close to the café, Jessie typically waited until the last possible minute to wake up, and Julia didn’t want to be the one to wake an eighteen-year-old prematurely from her sleep.
Instead, she set off to her gran’s cottage, bypassing the village green. Though the storm had passed, the green looked like it had turned into a grass-filled swimming pool. Given what Christie had said about the storm knocking out power across the village, she wondered if she would even be able to open her café today. She looked around for signs of electricity, but nothing jumped out at her.
Despite the lack of power, she caught a glimmer of light through the net curtains of her gran’s sitting-room window. Dot’s face poked through the curtains when Julia knocked on the front door.
“Julia?” Dot exclaimed as she pulled her floral dressing gown together after answering the door. “Bit early, isn’t it?”
“Can I come in?”
Dot hesitated before glancing over her shoulder into the hallway, giving Julia the impression there was something her gran didn’t want her to see. Julia immediately thought about Dot’s octogenarian fiancé, Percy Cropper, and suddenly wished she had knocked on Jessie’s door instead.
“Yes, yes,” Dot said finally, pulling Julia inside. “I was just in the middle of something.”
Once inside the dark sitting room, Julia realised the light she had seen was coming from candles – and that wasn’t the most surprising thing. A deep, booming voice chanted bass-filled, throaty sounds on a continuous loop.
“Gran,” Julia said as she looked around for the source of the chanting, “please tell me you haven’t taken a sudden interest in satanism.”
“Satanism?” Dot cried. “No, dear! It’s meditation!”
Julia forced back a laugh. “Meditation?”
“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”
“Well, you’re usually so energetic, I wasn’t sure you could sit in once place long enough to meditate.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Dot pulled her gown tighter. “Mock me!”
“I’m not mocking. I’m just surprised, that’s all.” Julia found the source of the chanting when she spotted a portable CD player balancing on the mantlepiece amongst Dot’s collection of ceramic cats.
The chanting was a repetition of ‘ommmm’ by what sounded like a group of monks – not that the realisation soothed her.
“How did you find meditation?”
“It’s more like, how did meditation find me,” Dot said, her mood chirping up as she hurried to the side table next to an armchair. She pulled out a book and handed it to Julia. “I tried to order a magic book for Percy’s birthday, but this came instead.”
“Meditate Your Way to a Longer Life.”
“I dismissed it at first,” Dot said, fluffing up her tight curls at the back of her neck, “but I sat down to have a little flick through, and I read the whole thing! It’s opened my mind, Julia. I’ve been meditating for three days, and I’m a changed woman. I feel calm and at peace with the world for the first time in my life. You must try it.”
“I’m not sure I—”
Before Julia could protest, Dot took back the book and pulled Julia down onto the rug in front of the fireplace where the coffee table usually sat.
“Now, it’s quite easy,” Dot instructed as she crossed her legs, motioning for Julia to do the same. “It’s all about your breathing. Breathe in for three seconds, hold for three seconds, and exhale for three seconds, and in the meantime, clear your mind. Think about nothing. If thoughts come, acknowledge them and send them on their way. Focus on the chanting. The frequency will help reset your energy.”
Julia watched as Dot closed her eyes and clasped her hands together before breathing in the technique she had just described. Julia was used to her gran jumping from poker clubs to book clubs to fitness clubs to climate change protesting, but meditation wasn’t the hobby Julia would have guessed would come next. Dot had always dismissed anything vaguely spiritual, especially when it came to mystics like Evelyn, the owner of the local bed and breakfast.
Still, Julia was willing to give it a try. She closed her eyes and synced up with her gran’s breathing. The chanting washed over her, and she was surprised to feel a slight change. The buzzing in her mind all but vanished, and she felt the weight of her body against the carpet. She tried to bat away any thoughts that entered her mind, but the reason behind her early morning visit wouldn’t go away. She opened her eyes and turned to Dot.
“Gran?”
Dot’s face scrunched up.
“Shush. No talking.”
“Gran, I—”
“Be in the moment, Julia.”
“Gran, there’s—”
“Rid your mind of thoughts, Julia.”
“Gran, I’m—”
Dot sighed and opened her eyes. “What is it? What could be so important that you’re not allowing yourself to relax and enjoy this?”
Julia inhaled deeply, unsure if she could say the words aloud, even though she had been saying the reverse for months.
“I’m—”
“You’re pregnant!” Dot cried, her hands clasping her mouth. “You are, aren’t you?”
Julia nodded. Dot shrieked, all calm and peace leaving the room in a flash. She jumped up, dragging Julia up with her. Dot’s arms wrapped tightly around her, yanking her into a hug.
“How did you know?” Julia asked over Dot’s excited, wordless cries.
“Oh, dear, it’s obvious!” Dot held Julia at arm’s length and looked her up and down. “Look at you. You look dreadful! I should have known the moment I saw your face.”
Julia’s smile melted away, and much to her surprise gave way to tears.
“Oh, not that dreadful, dear,” Dot said quickly as she pulled Julia down onto the sofa. “Aren’t you happy? You’ve wanted this for so long.”
“I’m so happy.” Julia wiped away the tears, feeling foolish. “Everything has just started so badly.”
“What do you mean?” Dot rushed over to the CD player to turn off the monks. “Tell your gran everything. No, hold it there for a second! Whatever is it, it’ll be easier to talk about over tea!”
Dot hurried into the kitchen, returning minutes later with two cups. After the awful tea Christie had made her, Julia was happy to smell the unmistakable scent of peppermint.
“It’s just ordinary peppermint,” Dot said. “I don’t have that peppermint and liquorice stuff you like so much.”
“I’ve switched to normal peppermint for now,” Julia explained as she blew on the hot surface. “Large amounts of liquorice aren’t recommended for pregnant women, so I swapped over last month to make it easier.”
“You learn something new every day.” Dot sipped her own milky tea as she settled into the couch. “Okay, now you can tell your gran everything.”
Julia inhaled, unsure where to start. She sipped her minty tea and set the cup down on the side table.
“I was babysitting Vinnie at the manor,” Julia started. “I threw up out of nowhere when I smelled nail varnish.”
“How far along are you?”
“I don’t know,” Julia replied, the question taking her off-guard. “It has to be early. I had a negative result this time last month.”
“Morning sickness.” Dot gave a certain nod. “I was throwing up from the first day! I couldn’t stomach the smell of oxtail soup, which just happened to be your grandfather’s favourite. He’d eat the stuff by the bucket load, and every time he did, I threw up. It’ll pass though. You’ll get strange cravings soon, too. Mine was pickled eggs, but I couldn’t eat one now if you paid me.”
“It’s not the throwing up,” Julia said. “I couldn’t sleep, so I went downstairs, but then this man showed up, and he had a gun, and—”
Dot’s hands rose to cover her mouth.
“What man?” Dot cried.
“I don’t know,” Julia continued. “He was robbing the manor. There were two of them. They emptied the whole ground floor of every valuable. The man with the gun made me lie face down in the sitting room with my hands on my head. He didn’t lay a finger on me, but I couldn’t do anything to stop it.”
“Stop it?” Dot cried. “Why would you have wanted to stop it? They didn’t take your stuff, dear. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time! Surely their insurance will take care of it?”
“Dad cancelled the insurance.” Julia breathed deeply. “They’re in real money trouble, and he’s been keeping it a secret.”
“That son of mine!” Dot huffed with a wave of her hand. “That’s just typical him! Always wanting to live above his station! He never could handle money. Honestly, I don’t know where I went wrong. Does Katie know about the money trouble?”
“She knows about the insurance, but not the full extent of the problems.”
“Then it sounds like Lady Muck has the shock of her life coming at her.” Dot sighed before taking Julia’s hands in hers. “Listen to me right now, Julia. Whatever happened at the manor wasn’t down to you and would have happened if you were there or not.”
“That’s what DI Christie said.”
“And the man is right.” Dot nodded. “We take many things with us through life, but this isn’t something for you to bear. This isn’t your burden. Don’t let this become one of those traumas that will come out in a £200 an hour therapy session fifteen years down the line. This is the Wellingtons’ mess, not yours. You have something more important to focus on now. You let this go right now, do you hear me?”
Julia nodded that she understood – and she did – but it didn’t stop her feeling some responsibility. Things could have gone so differently, and even though Dot was right about it being a Wellington problem, her baby brother was half Wellington in name and blood, and if things were as bad as her father claimed, she couldn’t bear to see anything bad happen to Vinnie.
“I know you, Julia,” Dot said with a soft smile. “You’re probably already thinking of a way you can go after these men, but you can’t. Gun or not, you have to protect yourself because you’re carrying my third great-grandchild, and I’ll be damned if anything happens to the little thing.”
Dot’s words hit deeper this time. Julia had grown too used to throwing herself into solving things left, right, and centre, but she couldn’t intentionally put herself into harm’s way anymore, no matter what she wanted to prove.
“I suggest you take this.” Dot handed Julia the meditation book. “You need to bring your stress levels down. Read it, absorb it, and promise me you’ll try to stay away from the mess at that manor?”
“I promise.”
“Good girl.” Dot reached out and tucked a fallen strand of Julia’s hair behind her ear. “Now, you need to
figure out how far along you are properly, and I suggest you book a doctor’s appointment to start your antenatal care as soon as possible.”
“It’s really happening, isn’t it?”
“It is.” Dot’s grin returned. “And it will be over before you know it, so enjoy every second of it. I was only pregnant the once, a long time ago, and I think I’ll always regret not having more than one. Although looking at how your father turned out, maybe it’s best I didn’t.”
“He’s not that bad.”
“Hmmm.” Dot pursed her lips.
At that moment, the lights and television suddenly turned on, and as though she could sense the whole village around her, Julia felt the electricity ripple through Peridale.
“Hallelujah!” Dot jumped up. “All these candles were starting to suck the air out of the room.” She ran around and blew them all out. “Does your father know about your condition?”
Julia grabbed her cup and took a sip before shaking her head and saying, “You’re the first person I’ve told.”
Dot’s hand rested on her chest; it was now her time to cry.
“Bless you.” Dot pulled Julia into another hug. “When are you going to tell Barker?”
“Today,” Julia said firmly. “He’s coming back from his book meetings in London this afternoon. I don’t want to tell him over the phone.”
“Wise.” Dot gave Julia one last squeeze before letting go. “Right, you stay there. I’m going to make you some breakfast. You need to keep your strength up.”
Julia knew there was no point protesting, so she let her gran feed her two slices of wholegrain toast and another cup of peppermint tea. By the time she had finished, it was time to get started on the café’s baking for the day.
“Thank you, Gran.” Julia kissed her on the cheek when they were at the front door. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’d be fine.” Dot winked. “You might go by Julia South-Brown these days, but you’re still a South woman. We’re built of tough stuff. If you want, Alfie’s bedroom is free for you to get your head down. I can have the sheets changed in seconds. It was once your room, after all.”