by Karen Anders
The hostess led them past an adobe-brick kiva fireplace to a table, but Maxie protested. “Do you think we could eat outside?” The hostess smiled and turned away from the booth. They went through an arched doorway stenciled with red and green chiles that opened onto a patio. The support beams of the restaurant extended out to form a makeshift roof without the thatching. Twinkling white lights intertwined with the rough and ready beams called vigas, which lent a romantic air to the already enchanted night.
The hostess placed the menus on the table and said, “Your server will be with you in a moment.” Then the woman walked through the door that led into the restaurant.
Maxie picked up and opened the menu full of Hispanic and Pueblo cuisine. There was the regular fare of enchiladas, burritos and tacos served with bean or frijoles refritos, beans mashed and refried in oil. But there were also other dishes not usually found in traditional Hispanic food, like empanada, a fried pie with nuts and currants and posole, a corn soup or stew prepared with pork and chile. For dessert she wanted a sopaipillas, a lightly fried puff pastry served with honey.
Moving her eyes from the menu, she gazed up to the heavens. “This is perfect,” Maxie breathed.
Austin followed her gaze up to the night sky, carpeted with brilliant stars. There was a sad look on his face.
“Why do you look so sad?”
He picked up the menu and opened it, shrugging his shoulders as if trying to ward off a chill. But Maxie could sense that her question struck at something that went much deeper than a chill on the skin.
She looked up at the stars. “What is it, Austin?”
“Just something I remembered about my dad.” Austin looked at her with an odd kind of hesitancy. It seemed as if he would speak and then the moment passed and he closed down.
“What?” she prompted, knowing now that she must hear what he had to say. “Tell me.”
He closed his eyes, clenching his hands into fists on the table. He drew in a long, shuddery breath. “We used to go out on nights like this, drive to a remote area where there was very little light, and lie on the hood of his car.”
“To look at the stars?”
“Yeah.” He broke off as if he was searching for the words or they were too painful to remember. He cleared his voice. “They fascinated me. One of those nights I mentioned to him that it would be cool to look through a telescope so I could see them better.”
He drew a long, rough breath. “That Christmas, guess what was under the tree.”
“A telescope.”
“A telescope. I couldn’t wait for night to fall. It was cold, but he took me back to our lookout place and we set up the telescope. It was…amazing, seeing the stars through the lens, and it made it more…special because he was there.”
Maxie reached out and squeezed his forearm. “How old were you?”
“Ten. It was the year he died.”
For a moment, the silence stretched between them. Her chest felt full to bursting. “Do you still have the telescope?”
“No. I still remember what he said to me, though.”
“What?”
Austin stared at Maxie for a moment, then looked down at his menu, his expression fixed and sober. “The sky’s the limit and I should reach for the stars,” he answered, his tone subdued.
“Like the FBI?”
Austin turned his gaze from the menu he was reading and looked at her. Shutters snapped shut over yearnings and remorse. “Water under the bridge. I don’t brood over what was lost, Maxie. I do what needs to be done regardless of the consequences.”
“Or the sacrifices you have to make?” Her voice was rough with emotion, her tone soft with kindness.
Austin’s jaw clenched. “That’s right.”
“Am I a sacrifice?”
He swallowed and looked away from her, then back up to the stars as if they could save him.
“Yes,” he softly answered but like a shout it broke Maxie’s heart.
“I thought so. It’s flattering.”
He laughed but it held no mirth. “That’s something she would have said.”
“Who?”
“Shelly. The other skip that got into my jeans so that I would let her go.”
“Did you?”
Austin gave her a long, level look and a menacing smile. “No. I tracked her down and brought her back. At the time, I thought she really cared for me, but she didn’t. She was tricking me the whole time.”
Guilt grabbed her, clawing at her gut for the way she planned to trick Austin. The server interrupted her thoughts and Maxie ordered a margarita, telling the server that she wanted a bowl of posole with pan dulce, a Native American sweet bread along with the sopaipillas. Austin ordered Carne adovada, tender pork marinated in red chili sauce, herbs and spices and then baked. He also ordered a margarita.
She had to escape Austin, and tricking him was the only way she could do it, because he wasn’t going to voluntarily let her go. The thought of letting Dorrie down brought tears to her eyes. The choice wasn’t one anyone should have to make. Betray this man who had come to mean everything to her or the sister of her blood and her heart, a sister who had taken the brunt of all Maxie’s shenanigans and pulled her out of the fire time and time again. This was her chance to save her sister. She had to make that choice and give up what she now realized would be an incredible life with a man she understood in every way. But she could not fail her sister, not this time. Not again. “I’m sorry that she hurt you, Austin.”
She saw something flicker in his eyes, a darkness skimming that honey brown like the shadow of a passing crow. “I believe that you are,” he said softly, looking away.
She flashed him a scowl. “Are you trying to change the subject?”
“What subject would that be?”
Maxie was interrupted when the waitress brought them two huge, frothing glasses of margaritas. She took a sip to gather her strength and to cool her parched throat. The salt burst on her tongue mixing with the hot, tantalizing taste of tequila and tang of lime.
Austin followed suit and Maxie was fascinated at the way his throat moved, the muscles contracting as he swallowed. Even though she’d shaved him this morning, the dark stubble was back and only enhanced his dangerous, renegade look.
“You’re not off the hook, Taggart.”
For a minute there she thought he was going to address her question, but his eyes darkened. “What hook would that be?”
“The one where you tell me all about how you sacrificed your dreams for your family.”
Austin sighed. “So, I gave up the FBI for my fifteen-year-old sister and my mother. So what?”
“So what? They were more important than your dreams. That’s what. Not many men would have done that.”
Austin looked at her silently.
“What happened?”
“I told you I joined the army right out of high school.”
“You said you were an MP. Did you see any combat? You’re too young to have been in the Gulf War.”
“I did a few stints overseas, but I didn’t see any combat.”
“How did you get out of the service?”
“I asked for a hardship discharge and it was granted.” He took another sip of his drink.
“Then what happened?” she asked, wondering at the light stain on his cheeks. He was embarrassed about what he had done for his family.
“I told you what happened. I became a bounty hunter.”
“What happened with the FBI?”
“What do you mean?”
Maxie stiffened at his don’t-go-there tone.
“How close were you to joining?” she persisted as she watched his eyes darken even more.
“You are like a hurricane. Can’t fly around it, can’t avoid it. You have to meet it dead on.” He looked up at the sky again, his eyes lingering as if caressing a lover. “The call from the training department came on the heels of the call from my grandmother.”
Maxie felt his answer at t
he center of her chest, a gentle throb that flickered and flared like a candle. He’d been so close. She ached at the pain in his eyes, the hard contest in his expression. She heard the faint echo of need in his voice and felt herself slipping even more between that rock and hard place. “That must have been so painful.”
He closed his eyes and said, “Leave it alone, Maxie. It’s over. I made my choice and I haven’t regretted it.”
“You sacrificed everything for your family,” she whispered on a ragged sigh. How could she do any less for her sister? But damn the man. Damn him for walking into her life. She thought about what he had done. It humbled her. It was enough to make a person cry. It was enough to make a woman fall in love.
And she would just have to be that woman.
Damn him.
AFTER THE DELICIOUS dinner was over, Austin and Maxie walked down the dusty streets coming once again to the edge of the Kit Carson Park. She grinned at him, a full, tantalizing, sucker-punch-to-the-gut kind of smile. The same kind Austin was sure Delilah used right before she showed Samson the shears.
“Look familiar?”
“It’s the place where we lost ourselves in the rain last night.” The memory of her soft flesh against his fingertips did crazy things to his insides.
“It’s a good thing the cops couldn’t see us through all this foliage.” Wheeler Peak was a dusky outline in the dark northern sky.
She turned to him and picked up his hand, kissing the backs of his fingers.
“Where do we go from here?
He cupped her face. “I wish I knew.”
“You really don’t see any way around it, Austin.”
“I really wish I could, but it’s more than just taking you in. I think you know that now.” He paused, and staring into her face, he could see that she understood and it made his insides clench because no one, not even his mother had ever understood why he would give up so much.
“It’s all tied up in your need to make your father proud.”
It was. He’d already acknowledged that to himself.
She folded her arms and with quick, brisk movement rubbed at the goose bumps pebbling her skin.
“Cold?” He took off his shirt, leaving him only in a black T-shirt. He arranged the material around her shoulders, coaxing her arms into the sleeves.
“It’s so warm. Warm from your skin and it smells like you, so good. But won’t you be cold?”
Her voice was soft and subdued mingling with the sigh of the wind and the hard beat of his heart.
He was so preoccupied with his own pain-filled memories that he had to take a deep breath before he could speak. “No.”
Starting at the bottom, he gathered the shirttails together and began to button it. The back of his hands brushed against her stomach in a game of silent torture that made his body tighten. When he reached her breastbone, she made a soft gasp as he accidentally caught the tip of her breast with his forefinger.
He knew that sound, had heard her express her excitement, her desire for him. His fingers twisted in the cotton as more than desire settled in the pit of his stomach, so much more it made his heart burn.
“I had such a beautiful day with you, Austin.”
Austin concentrated on getting the last few buttons done. He raised his head and looked into her eyes. They were so blue and deep. “I did, too.” She cupped his face, her hand sliding along his skin. Austin thought, this is it. What he wanted. This woman.
Her hair shone in the moonlight, like a shiny star fallen to earth. Austin’s hands went to the silky mass and slid through the strands of hair.
Enslaved by the silkiness of her hair and the caressing feel of her hot palm against his cheek, he knew he had to share with her what he had never told another living soul.
“Do you know,” he said, “my ancestors believed that it was taboo to say a dead person’s name. That by doing so you conjure up a ghost.” Knowing his words would release a dreaded and horrible pain he’d harbored for years, he felt safe in her presence. “Maybe all this time he’s been haunting me and I should put him to rest. Let go of my anger and resentment because he died.”
She shifted closer to him, pressing her face against his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck as if she sensed this was hurting him.
“That’s not easy.”
Her voice was indistinct as if she spoke through water. “No, it’s not.” He took a deep breath and asked, “Remember, at dinner I told you I didn’t have the telescope anymore.”
“Yes.”
“I was so angry at him. I smashed it until it was unusable. Afterwards, I was ashamed and felt even worse.”
“Oh God, Austin.” She pulled away from him to look up into his face, but he looked straight ahead, the memories dark and chaotic. She tightened her hold on him, her skin so warm against him. So comforting, an oasis in a vast, empty wasteland.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice ragged and raw against him. “I feel…” She tried to shake her head as if it could break the words free. It only tormented Austin with the silken soft whisper of her hair against his skin. “But this isn’t real. Any of it. We’re the only two people in the world, right now. I can’t want you without paying the consequences.”
Austin straightened, reached down to lift her face to him, gathering his composure. Surprised that he had told her about the telescope, he’d somehow healed. “The consequences?”
He would have rather died than cause the pain he found in those eyes. He hated himself, knowing that he couldn’t take it away. Knowing now, that he couldn’t shirk his responsibilities to his family or to his job. He’d take her in no matter what. He wanted more time with her, but it seemed that their time had run out.
“The consequences would be one of us has to lose and it’s not fair, but that’s the truth. One of us has to lose.”
“I know.”
“This day is just an interlude…a break in the battle.”
“That’s not a bad thing.”
She smiled and held his face, her hands soft as she traced his cheekbone with her thumb. “Now you’re getting it, Taggart.” A twinkle appeared in her eyes. She broke away from him and led him towards his car.
“Where are we going?” He put on the breaks and stopped her in the middle of the street.
“Now it’s time to lose that responsible nature of yours, Austin, and do something reckless.” She tugged on him again and drew him forward.
“I think I’ve been reckless enough for one day.”
“The day’s not over.”
Austin laughed. He couldn’t help it. She was irresistible. “Just a moment. Before I run recklessly toward whatever you have in store for me…” He stopped and kissed her sweet, enticing mouth. “Now will you tell me where we’re going?”
“You’ll see. Just stop when I say so.”
It was minutes later when she asked him to pull over and he did. With a smile, she got out of the car and Austin followed her. Then he saw the storefront and groaned. “Maxie, a tattoo?”
“Sure.”
She left the sidewalk and pushed the door open. Austin shut the door to his car and followed her. Inside, the lights were very bright. Colorful pictures of possible tattoos were all over the wall. Maxie was already talking to the woman behind the counter who had many a body part pierced.
She turned and gave him a wink. “So which one would you like?”
Austin looked at the tattoos as the woman took his arm and sat him in a chair. “How about an eagle?”
“An eagle? That’s boring,” Maxie said, her eyes lit up. Before he could stop her, she was out the door. He tried to get past the woman in front of him, but she blocked his way. It was only seconds later that Maxie came back into the shop. In her hands was his grandmother’s hand-wrought shield.
“Can you do this?” Maxie asked.
The woman studied the shield and smiled. “Sure can.”
Something tight and hot settled in Austin’s chest. He barely felt th
e first prick of the tattoo tool as it injected ink into the skin of his upper arm. He was looking at Maxie and the shield wishing that he could protect both his family and her.
But he knew that the choice had already been made.
His grandmother’s words came back to him in a rush. “I dreamed that you were chasing the sun.”
His response came back to him. “Is there danger in this, Grandmother?”
“Yes, of a kind, but one you will battle and overcome because you have the soul of a great warrior.” The soul of a great warrior? He didn’t know about that, but he knew what he had to do. Knowing it didn’t make it any easier.
Maxie chose a red-gold blazing sun and asked the pierced woman to tattoo the symbol around her naval.
It was then that he remembered his grandmother’s caution.
“You cannot catch the sun without getting burned.”
10
HE LAY NEXT TO MAXIE and tried to pretend. He tried really, really hard to pretend that she didn’t mean a thing to him, that if he were only minutes from Sedona, he’d take her right to the jail and drop her off, collect his bounty and go home. He’d go home and get a cold beer and thank his lucky stars that she—that this bounty—was behind him.
The soft chime of his cell phone made him reach out and flip open the phone. He glanced over at Maxie, but she was still asleep.
“Hello?” His voice came out hoarse from disuse.
“Austin.”
“Mom.” He sat up higher in bed. “What’s wrong?” His mother never called him on the job unless it was serious.
“Austin, I haven’t heard from you in a few days. Are you all right? Is everything okay?”
“Don’t worry, Mom. I’m fine. I’m taking care of everything.”
His mother’s voice was subdued when she responded. “Take care. You’re always on my mind.”
He turned away so that Maxie wouldn’t hear. “I love you all. I’ll be home soon.”