by Jade, Ashley
“So what should we do?” Jace asks. “How do we help her get better?”
“Time and patience. Lots of it. Her memories—if she gets them back—might be distorted, but it’s important not to argue or correct her.” He clears his throat. “In the meantime, I’ve taken the liberty of contacting Dr. Wilson. He’s a top-notch psychologist who has a lot of experience working with patients who have brain injuries and amnesia. Given the severity of Bianca’s mental state and what’s happened, I think it’s important she talks to someone. Fortunately, he’s agreed to come up to the hospital to meet with her this week.”
My eyes flutter open as Dr. Jones ambles inside the room and walks over to my bed. “Hello, Bianca. How are you feeling?”
Like I’ve been run over by a bus.
“Tired.”
He nods. “That’s the sedative.”
“Sedative? Why—”
I stop talking as images of me ripping out my IV and then punching Jace and Cole flash through my head.
A stabbing pain infiltrates my heart. “My mom…she’s—”
I can’t say the words.
Saying the words out loud will only give them credence.
Instead, I lunge for the doctor.
Not because I want to hurt him.
I just want him to give me something to make me go numb.
Something to help me forget the truth burrowing through my veins.
Not only is my mom dead…
She killed Liam.
Chapter 3
Past…
“I m-m-miss her,” Liam whispers.
Ever since the accident, he developed a horrible stutter.
According to Dr. Young—our mother’s therapist—it’s due to the trauma of not only the accident but losing Mom.
Tilting my head, I turn to look at my brother. “Me too.”
It’s been almost a month since Mom passed away and every day feels harder than the last.
Liam sighs. “D-d-do you think s-s-she’s happy in Heaven?”
“I hope so.”
A tear rolls down his cheek. “W-w-why’d s-s-she leave us? W-w-why w-w-weren’t we g-g-good enough?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, wiping his tears away with my sleeve.
He sniffles. “I w-w-want to t-t-tell Dad.”
Panic zips up my spine. “You can’t.”
His face scrunches. “W-w-why?”
“Stop being dumb. You know why.”
Mom loved us. She doesn’t deserve to be remembered by her mistakes.
However, if people found out the truth, that’s all they’d remember her for.
They’ll blame her and say mean things about her.
Plus, my family is already so sad over losing Mom and knowing what really happened that day will only make everyone’s pain worse.
Liam and I made a pact to protect her and he wasn’t allowed to break it.
“Sometimes you have to lie to protect the people you love, Liam.”
It was something I heard on TV one day, but it never really made sense to me until the accident.
Until after she was gone.
“I know. It j-j-just gets s-s-so hard s-s-sometimes.” His lower lip trembles. “And p-p-people at s-s-school…they…” He shakes his head. “Never m-m-mind.”
Liam was known for being sensitive, but there was something more happening here.
“What’s going on?”
He turns away, like he’s trying to avoid my gaze, but I don’t let him. “You can tell me anything, Liam. You know that.”
Now that Mom was gone, he was officially my bestest friend in the whole wide world.
I’d always keep his secrets.
He points to his face. “They k-k-keep c-c-calling me a m-m-monster.”
My heart folds in on itself. Not only did Liam develop a stutter from the accident, he also has a few facial scars from the glass.
It made the kidney I lost seem like a walk in the park because at least I could hide my injury.
Liam wasn’t so lucky.
I trace the large pink scar over his cheekbone, wishing I could make it disappear. “You’re not a monster.”
He was the farthest thing from one. He was kind and compassionate…and sad.
Just like Mom.
“Y-y-yes I am.” He scowls. “No one l-l-likes m-m-me.”
I’m about to remind him that his family likes him, but then he whispers, “E-e-except her.”
“Who?”
He grins. “Dylan.”
Oh, boy. I walked right into that one.
About a week ago Jace brought home some girl he met at school.
The two have been inseparable ever since.
Cole teased him about liking his new friend, but Jace claims she’s just really good at video games.
Given he beats Dylan every time they play though, I’m starting to have my doubts.
Then again, if he liked her, he’d probably let her win. I think.
I’m not really sure how it works. I think all boys are gross and have cooties.
“S-s-she’s s-s-so pretty,” Liam says. “And s-s-so s-s-smart and c-c-cool. And s-s-she doesn’t m-m-make fun of m-m-me.” His grin grows. “S-s-she’s perfect.”
I want to remind him how Mom always told us that no one is perfect, but it’s no use. He’s so far gone there’s no talking any sense into him.
I roll my eyes. “You’ve got it bad, dude.”
Worse than bad. He’s practically obsessed with her.
He doesn’t argue. “I’m g-g-gonna m-m-marry her one day. You’ll s-s-see.”
Oh boy. If I don’t stop him now, he’ll go on and on about her until sunrise.
“Here’s an idea. How about you don’t force me to listen to you talk about Dylan for the rest of the night.”
“Whatever.” He studies my face. “W-w-why don’t w-w-we t-t-talk about how you’re s-s-still too s-s-scared to g-g-go in the c-c-car?”
Nope. Not happening.
I cup my hand over my ear as I get off the bed. “What’s that, Jace? You need help doing laundry?”
I’d rather do a lifetime of chores than talk about my newfound fear of cars.
Liam frowns. “Bianca—”
I don’t hear the rest of his statement because I run out the door.
Chapter 4
“Liam didn’t die,” I yell as my eyes flutter open. “He couldn’t have. I talked to him after the accident.”
He’s still alive.
It’s a small ray of hope in a mountain of grief, but it feels so good.
Like a rainbow after a storm.
Standing at the foot of my bed, Jace and Cole exchange a glance.
“What do you mean you talked to him?” Cole questions.
“In my dream…I think.” I shake my head. “I don’t know but it felt real.”
Too real.
Jace plops down in the chair beside me. “What did you two talk about?”
Given I can’t tell them what happened to Mom because of our pact, I tell them the next best thing.
“Dylan. He has a crush on her.”
Jace winces. “Oh.”
Cole sucks in a sharp breath. “Yeah, that wasn’t a dream.”
“I know,” I exclaim, excitement rushing through me. “He’s alive.” For the first time in three days, I smile. “Where is he?”
It’s weird he hasn’t come up to see me. Then again, maybe he did, and I didn’t notice because of all the sedatives.
Jace and Cole exchange another glance before Jace speaks.
“Liam didn’t die during the accident, but—”
“He’s away at school,” Cole interjects. “He’s been busy with his exams and shit, but he’ll be up to see you soon.”
I’m so happy I could cry. “Really?”
Jace shoots Cole a murderous glare. “Outside. Now.”
I have no idea what that’s about, but it doesn’t matter.
Liam’s alive.
“H
ey,” Sawyer—who’s apparently not a nurse, but Cole’s fiancée—greets me from the door. “Can I come in?”
Truth be told, I can’t believe he managed to snag someone as awesome as Sawyer, but I’m happy for him.
Given I can use the company, I wave her in. “Of course.”
Evidently, she’s not alone though because the girl who’s always hanging around Jace is right behind her.
I’m not sure what to make of Jace’s friend because she’s super quiet and standoffish.
Then again, I’ve been flipping out and attacking everyone for the last five days, so I can’t really blame her.
“How are you feeling?” Sawyer asks, taking a tentative step in my direction.
“Better.” Annoyance colors my tone. “But I’m getting really sick of Jell-O, pudding, apples, and vegetable soup.”
I’m beginning to think it’s the only shit they serve in this freaking hospital.
She hikes a thumb behind her. “I can go get you something—”
“No,” I say in a rush. “Please don’t leave. I love my brothers and all, but they can be a little—”
“Protective?” Sawyer supplies.
“Overbearing?” the other girl chimes in.
I can’t help but laugh because it’s obvious they both know them well. “Exactly.” Embarrassed, I decide to bring up the elephant in the room. “I’m sorry I’ve been acting crazy. I just—”
“No need to apologize. It’s totally understandable,” Sawyer says as she takes a seat on the chair beside my bed.
I can’t help but notice how pretty she is. Maybe not in the conventional sense like a model, but in the way that really counts.
On the inside.
She looks like she wants to give me a hug but thinks better of it. “You’ve been through a lot.”
There’s a kindness that emanates from her and I can’t help but feel at ease in her presence.
I’m not sure why or where it’s coming from, but something tells me she’s a good person and I can trust her.
“No wonder my brother’s in love with you.” I rise up on my elbows, attempting to stretch a little because being bedridden sucks. “Not only are you gorgeous, but you seem really easy to talk to.”
Knowing I have to make an effort with Jace’s girl too, I turn my focus on her.
Unlike Sawyer, who’s wearing a cardigan and long skirt, this girl is wearing tight jeans, boots, and what looks like an old black t-shirt with some faded decal on it.
Her outfit would look weird on anyone else, but somehow, she makes it work.
“You have great style.” I give her a genuine smile so she doesn’t think I’m bullshitting. “Maybe when they let me out of here, we can go shopping sometime.”
The girl and Sawyer exchange a wide-eyed glance that seems to last forever.
That’s…unnerving. “Did I say something wrong?”
I was just trying to make a good impression and get to know them a little.
“No,” Sawyer assures me. “You didn’t say anything wrong.”
Sawyer gives her a look, prompting her to speak.
The girl crosses her arms. “I’m gonna go check on Jace.”
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out this girl isn’t my biggest fan.
I don’t understand why though because we hardly even know each other.
Maybe it’s time to change that.
I decide to start with the basics. “I’m sorry, I never caught your name before.”
The girl stops to look at me. “Dylan.”
I study her features for what feels like an eternity and that’s when it dawns on me.
Well, shit.
She’s the Dylan.
“You’re Jace’s girlfriend?” I clarify as she bolts for the door.
She stops short. “Yup.”
“They live together,” Sawyer adds.
If that’s the case, she must make Jace happy. I just hope it wasn’t at the expense of Liam’s happiness.
A peculiar thought hits me.
Maybe it’s why he hasn’t shown up.
Maybe it hurts too much to see them together.
“How does my brother feel about this?”
Dylan raises an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure Jace—”
“Not Jace,” I clarify. “How does Liam feel about you and Jace being together?”
She has to know he’s in love with her. It’s obvious to anyone with a pulse.
The girl turns ashen, like she’s just seen a ghost, and then quick as lightning…she’s gone.
My eyes flick to Sawyer. “I don’t—”
“Hey,” Jace says, entering the room. He gestures to the tray he’s holding. “Lunch is here.”
“What is it?”
I really hope it’s not vegetable soup or another apple.
He inspects the tray. “Well, there’s chocolate pudding.” He places the tray on the table beside me. “And your favorite—vegetable soup and an apple.”
Ugh. Pretty soon I’m going to turn into apples and vegetable soup.
“Thanks.” Reaching over, I pick up the spoon, opting for the chocolate pudding instead. “I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to come here anymore.”
She ran away like a bat out of hell when I brought up Liam which can only mean one thing.
She hurt Liam.
Jace’s eyebrows pinch. “Who?”
“Dylan.”
His jaw tics. “Why?”
“Because she’s the reason Liam hasn’t shown up. He doesn’t want to see you two together, Jace, and I can’t blame him. It can’t be easy watching your own brother be with the girl you love.”
His face falls. There’s so much agony in his eyes it makes me want to take the words back.
But I won’t. Because someone has to stick up for Liam.
Be his voice when he doesn’t have one.
“Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, okay. If that’s what you want, I’ll tell her not to come up here anymore.”
“Jace.” Sawyer glares at him. “I really don’t think that’s—”
He holds up a hand, cutting her off. “I’m gonna go check…” His sentence trails off as he backs out of the room.
Chapter 5
“I wasn’t trying to upset him. I love Jace and I want him to be happy. I just don’t want Liam to feel like he can’t be around his family, you know?”
Dr. Wilson—or Walter as he told me to call him—jots something down in his notebook. “Let me get this straight. You think if Dylan keeps her distance, Liam will come visit you.”
“I hope so.” A pang of sadness shoots through my heart. “Jace and Liam weren’t just brothers, they were friends. It can’t be easy for Liam to see him with Dylan.”
“Just to make sure I understand—in your mind, keeping Dylan away from Jace protects Liam.”
Eureka. Finally, he’s starting to get it.
“And Jace,” I clarify. “Given she hurt Liam, who’s to say she won’t hurt Jace one day, too?”
He folds his hands. “I see.” He clears his throat. “Now that we’ve got that squared away for now, I think it’s important we talk about your mother.”
And just like that, pain wraps around my heart, squeezing me so tight I can barely breathe.
“You said I didn’t have to talk about anything I didn’t want to,” I remind him.
“That’s correct.”
“Well, I don’t want to talk about her. Not today.”
Not ever.
It hurts too much.
“Have you figured out why she’s not eating yet, doc?” Cole interjects from the doorway of my room.
Dr. Wilson looks at me. “You aren’t eating?”
As if on cue, Jace pops up behind Cole. “Not since yesterday morning.”
Tattletales.
The psychiatrist adjusts his glasses. “Why aren’t you eating, Bianca?”
“I’m just not hungry, Walter.”
And sure, Jace and Cole have brought me outside food, but it isn’t any better.
Just a bunch of fruit, veggies, and other gross, bland, healthy stuff.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think they were subliminally trying to get me to lose weight, but according to my nurse I’ve never been overweight, and I’ve lost seven pounds since I’ve been here.
Therefore, I’m really not sure why they’re shoving all this healthy crap down my throat every day, but I wish it would stop.
Walter strokes his chin as if pondering something. “If you could have anything in the world to eat right now, what would it be?”
It takes me less than two seconds to answer. “A big, greasy, bacon cheeseburger with ketchup and mayonnaise.” I drum my nails on the railing of my bed. “And a big side of fries and pickles.”
My stomach roars to life, growling its approval.
“I see,” Walter says, jotting something else in his notebook.
Jace and Cole’s mouths drop open.
“You want a burger?” Cole exclaims. “Like a real one?”
Well, I certainly don’t want a fake one.
“Are you sure?” Jace questions.
“Positive.” A pang of guilt hits me. “I know you guys want me to eat super healthy and stuff but—”
Cole starts laughing. “No, we don’t.”
Color me confused. “You don’t?”
Jace shakes his head. “Bianca, you’re a vegetarian and a devout health food nut.” Jace’s lips twitch. “I can’t even recall the last time you ate a potato chip.”
This is news to me. “Really?”
“Yeah…or at least you were.” He looks at Walter. “Is this normal?”
He nods. “It’s not uncommon for those with head injuries to have personality and other changes.”
Jace and Cole exchange a glance.
“Makes sense,” Cole mutters.
Jace nods in agreement. “Definitely.”
I hate feeling like I’m the butt of an inside joke that I have absolutely no recollection of. “Care to share with the class?”
Shrugging, Jace shoves his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. “It’s nothing bad. You’ve just been a little…you know…different.”