Prologue
I’m way too tipsy.
I stumble down a long corridor and use the wall for support. Okay, so maybe I’m drunk. But it’s my nineteenth birthday and as demanded by the youth of today, I must be disastrously drunk. I giggle when I remember the first time, I got drunk. Back in Augusta where I grew up, my best friend Selena and I stole a bottle of wine from my parents’ wine cellar. We were seventeen and drank a quarter of the bottle to see what all the fuss was about. Suffice to say, we hated it and passed out on my bed right afterward.
I remember Selena complaining. “That’s what we have to look forward to? I am never drinking again! My head just hurts. Isa! Your room is spinning.” Of course, we drank again and many times after. But right now, it doesn’t feel good. Like Selena said at seventeen, the room is spinning.
God, I miss her. I’m praying every day she gets a scholarship so that she joins me next year at one of the world’s most elite colleges, Sawson’s Royal College. It’s not the same without her here. We’ve been best friends since the day we met at sixteen years old, and she still doesn’t know the profound impact she had on me. I really need her to come here next year.
I walk into the first bedroom I see, and yessss it’s empty!!! There’s an adjoining toilet and I go there. Looking at the mirror, I see sadness reflected back at me.
Why am I not enough? The thought forces its way through my head.
It’s my birthday. I’m at a party. I should be happy!
But all I can think about is that for the fifth year in a row, my parents have forgotten my birthday. At least I think they’ve forgotten. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if I knew they remembered, but just didn’t care, even if all the signs from my upbringing indicated so. I think about it all, how I grew up, the loneliness I always felt and all the lies I told everyone so they wouldn’t know what really happened in the Talen household.
“Yeah, my parents are really private Sel, that’s why no one sees them much! You know how they are, unbelievably rich and lived a life full of drama, they just want to lay low for a while, live our life like a family!” Lie number one.
Yes, we are rich, yes we lived in a small town. But my parents didn’t live there, not really. My dad had to capture the attention of a philanthropist and decided the best way to do that is to pretend we lived in a small town and are the perfect humble family. When I was eleven, we moved to Augusta and I was enrolled in a new school. I was a confused child, always wondering how to make my parents happy, trying so hard to be the perfect child. The move didn’t affect my parents. My father spent maybe a total of four days a month in Augusta, whereas my mother flew out to him, playing the doting wife, every weekend. By the time I turned fifteen, my mother spent as much time away as my father. I guess it wasn’t so bad, I mean I did have a live-in-nanny who took care of me.
“I lost my virginity at seventeen to Javier Matias.” Lie number two.
I was fourteen. My parents told me we were going to Cancun for a holiday, and silly young me got excited. I thought this trip was their way of reaching out to me. I remember how much I prepared. I watched YouTube videos providing etiquette lessons. I brushed my hair and straightened it so that there’s no kink in it - my mother hated it when my hair wasn’t perfect. I also covered every blemish on my face with foundation. I wanted to look perfect just like my mother.
I was so naive.
I flew to Mexico with my nanny and smiled big when I rushed out of baggage claim towards the arrival area. My smile disappeared when I saw a man holding up a sign with my name on it. ‘Isabel Talen.’ My heart dropped. My parents didn’t pick me up. But whatever, I was still excited for this family holiday.
I got to the hotel and rushed to my parents’ room. My mother opened the door and I frowned when she barely looked at me. She was on the phone and gestured for me to come in. I did. Looking around, I spot my father reading a newspaper.
“Hi daddy.” I say, approaching him. I knew better than to interrupt my mother’s phone calls.
“Hey darling, how was your flight?” He responds, smiling at me.
“Good.”
“That’s good.” He looks down at the newspaper, back up at me then ruffles my hair with a sad smile before looking down again.
I sat there silently for an hour while my mother spoke on the phone with her friends. And once she hung up…
“Come here Isabel, you look messy! What did I tell you about always looking presentable?” These are the first words out of my mother’s mouth. I haven’t seen her in two months.
“Sorry, mom.”
“Doesn’t matter, come let me show you your room.”
“My room?”
“Yes honey, you’ll like it.”
“Aren’t I staying here with you?” It’s a penthouse suite. There is a spare bedroom, a living room and a small kitchen. Fuck, I would’ve slept on the floor if I had to.
“Don’t be silly.”
That night, I defied my parents’ rules and went out after dinner. I was walking up and down the beautiful shore before a guy approached me. I wasn’t afraid, there were many people on the beach, even security. I looked up at him and he smiled down at me.
“Hey pretty girl, what’s your name?” I remember blushing fiercely. Someone thought I was pretty? Hell, someone was giving me and just me attention?
“I-Isabel.”
“Isabel, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” He said and caressed my face.
I instinctively leaned into his touch. It felt so good. Now, I know better than to be so easy. But back then, it felt like he was giving me everything I’ve been begging for but was denied.
“You think I’m beautiful?” I swear my eyes welled up in tears, that’s how desperate I was for attention.
“Oh yes, I do. Who wouldn’t? How old are you Isabel?”
“F-fourteen.”
“What? Shit.” He cursed looking upwards. “I don’t think I should hang out with you then, you’re a little young. You really don’t look fourteen.” I know I don’t. My mother constantly complained about how fat I am, that I inherited my father’s genes instead of hers. I don’t get it though, I’m slimmer than most of the girls in my year. I even cut calories to lose eight pounds. Regardless of the weight loss, nothing could make my size C breasts smaller. And my mother hated them. She said they made me look like a whore.
“No!” I clutched his hand to my cheek when he began pulling away. Nothing’s ever felt so good. I didn’t want him to go, I needed him to stay.
“I’m seventeen, little girl, do you hang out with anyone else who’s seventeen?”
“N-no. But I want to hang out with you.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes!”
That night, Damian, that was his name, spoke sweet words to me, words I’ve been dying to hear. We had sex. We hardly kissed. It lasted maybe four minutes. It hurt, it hurt really bad. Then, he left me there on the beach with no parting words. In hindsight, it was a horrible experience. But back then, I didn’t regret it. His words lasted me many lonely nights. And so, for two years, I thrived on the attention I received from boys. I flirted with them, learned how to use my feminine assets to garner their attention and I even kissed many of them. I didn’t have sex with them, the pain of my first time still prevalent in my memories.
Then I met Daniel when I was fifteen. He used the right words, made me feel special, and so we began a sexual relationship. For two years, we would have sex. We weren’t together, I didn’t think a guy like Daniel would ever want to be in a relationship with me. So, I let him have sex with me whenever he wanted. For two years, every time h
e sought me out, we had sex. I even enjoyed it. I never came, but it still felt good. What I lived for, was the intimacy. How every time he wanted me, he’d seek me out, call me beautiful, kiss me softly. How he’d hold me for a few minutes after we had sex, and how sometimes and only rarely, he’d fall asleep right afterward. Those were my favorite nights, I would snuggle up next to him and pretend that he loved me, that he wanted me and would never let me go. It was never about Daniel, it could have been any other boy in my bed, and I would have felt the same way. I was starving for attention, for intimacy, for someone to look at me and really see me.
It wasn’t until I met Selena when I was seventeen that I realized my mistake. I discovered what family really means. I saw how loving, attentive and supportive Selena’s parents, Sonya and Trevor, were. I saw how passionate their relationship was. The love they had for one another was profound. Selena told me that she planned to lose her virginity to the man she loves only, and I was shocked. She asked me if I was a virgin then and I said yes. I was too ashamed to admit that I let two men, who didn’t care about me, into my body. One of them repeatedly. I had an epiphany, I decided to change, to be better.
I never spoke to Daniel again, he didn’t bother trying after the third time I turned him down. I read self-help books and stories about women who went through similar internal struggles. I got stronger and stopped letting men dictate my self-worth. I became a better person. I started focusing on others, those who needed help more than I did. I didn’t let men talk down to me anymore. I was the new and improved Isabel and I would hold on to her.
It was during my senior year in high school when I met Javier. He asked me out and I said yes. We connected on a deep level. He sensed my insecurities and told me over and over how beautiful I am, inside and out, and for the first time, it was said genuinely. We had a good relationship and dated until graduation. He helped me overcome some of my insecurities and showed me how a woman should be treated. We had sex and I liked it, a lot. We were good together, but we both knew we weren’t each other’s forever by graduation.
But then why? If I changed so much, why do these insecure painful moments still happen? It always comes back to this, to the question of my life. Why am I never enough?
My phone vibrates and there’s a text from my mother.
Mom: I booked you an appointment at the hair salon at 12pm tomorrow. They know what to do. Your hair’s gotten too long. We have dinner with the Archibalts on Monday. Your clothes will be delivered to you. Please try to look presentable, we don’t want a repeat of last time.
Tears well up in my eyes. Of course, she wasn’t wishing me a happy birthday. I unlock my phone to text back.
Isabel: Yes, Mother.
That's enough! Today is my birthday. I am better than this. I have been better than this.
I walk out of the room and join a few girls I came here with. After drinking and dancing for an hour, I go outside for some fresh air. I look around and gasp when I see him.
Sebastian Carter. The blond, charming, billionaire player who slept with so many girls, he’s been titled the “Manwhore of Sawson’s Royal College.” I noticed him in freshman year. He’s starred in my dirtiest fantasies, and he also has no clue who I am. Every time we get within five meters of each other, I bolt.
He looks magnificent, with his head tilted back laughing at something one of the girls on either side of him said. He wraps his arms around their waist and pulls them close. He’s always with different girls and yet he’s not an asshole. He’s kind to them and from the rumors I heard, he’s a beast in bed. He’s the opposite of his best friend Jackson Reiss. Jax is kind of terrifying and I don’t get how someone as carefree as Sebastian can be friends with Jax.
But I don’t care for Jax, oh no. Not when every time I see Sebastian, my body reacts with a force so strong, it takes everything in me not to run to him. I lose focus of everything when he’s around. My body burns and begs me to close the distance between us. But I can’t, I won’t. I can’t get caught up in another guy who would use then disregard me. I refuse to feel inferior to anyone else ever again.
Little did I know, that Sebastian Carter would infiltrate my body and soul more than I thought was humanly possible. Little did I know that the depth of our obsession would reach insurmountable levels. And little did I know, he would break my heart and disregard me more than those before him.
Chapter 1
1 year later…
I’m sitting in bed watching Game of Thrones from the beginning for the third time.
Damn you Khal Drogo. I will be your princess any day, any time. Seriously, how can someone be this hot?!
I hear footsteps outside my door and click pause. I hear Selena pour a glass of water then head back to her room. I hope she’s okay. She got the scholarship to Sawson’s and I was ecstatic when I found out. We’ve had an incredible time so far. She started dating Jax and let me tell you … the boy is obsessed. Or at least I thought he was. Now – I hate him for hurting Selena.
My thoughts are interrupted when I hear banging on our door.
What the hell?
Who is that? I just came back from a club thirty minutes ago. I didn’t drink in case Selena needed me. She’s been going through a hard time since she found out Jax bet on her virginity. Not that I’m buying it. That guy looks at her like she’s the reason he exists. I’m just wondering why he hurt her on purpose.
I head to the living room in my silk black robe. I’d cover up more, but I highly doubt I’m going to open the door. It’s probably some drunk idiots knocking on the wrong door. Looking into the peephole, rage overpowers me when I see that it’s Jax. He looks murderous but that doesn’t scare me. He hurt my best friend, which means he hurt me too. I yank the door open and glare at him.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” I whisper yell so that I don’t wake Selena up. She doesn’t need this right now. I don’t even care about what I’m wearing. Trust me, I could be naked in front of him and he wouldn’t notice. He only sees Selena.
“I need to see her.” Like hell he will.
“Are you crazy? Do you know what you’ve done to her? No! Go home!”
“Sebastian?” He says and I freeze. Why would he say that? I can’t help the irrational thought that he knows Sebastian is the star player in my filthiest dreams.
That theory is ruined when Sebastian moves forward from behind Jax. I gulp in nervousness when I see him. I’ve never seen him up close, and wow, he’s even better looking than I thought. He’s wearing a black cap backwards, which just makes my perusal of his looks longer, because really, how hot do guys look in baseball caps? He’s tall, towering over me. His dark blonde hair reaches just below his ears. His eyes, a stunning green and … staring at my very bare legs.
He bites his lip, tilting his head to the side as he blatantly checks me out. I suck in a deep breath as his eyes trail over me. He looks at me like he’s slowly undressing me with his eyes. A shiver goes through my body and my breathing picks up when his eyes finally reach mine. Oh god, the reaction I have towards Sebastian is not normal. I wonder if he feels it too? He clenches his fist as he frees his lip and grins at me. But it’s not a friendly grin, oh no … it’s one which holds dirty thoughts and dirtier promises.
I shake my thoughts away immediately when I remember why he’s in front of me, to begin with. This is about Selena. I stand taller, clear my throat and stare him in the eye – still blocking the entrance to our dorm. There is no way I’m letting them inside.
“Wow, I’d say sorry sweetheart but right now, you looking like that in that silk robe? Not so much.”
“What are you talking ab-AH!” I don’t even finish the sentence when I’m hauled over his shoulder.
“Are you serious right now?! This is breaking and entering! Put me down!” I thrash around, but it’s useless. He has both hands on my upper thighs holding me down, and I curse my body for heating up under his touch.
“Listen angel, I know you th
ink you struggling right now will help your cause, but I got to tell you it’s just turning me on.” I stop my attack at his words. Is he being serious? Surely not, right?
“Angel?” I question instead.
“Do you have any idea…” He says sharply before taking in a deep breath. “You opened the door looking like a fucking dream with blonde hair and a tight, small body. Your face is bare of make-up and fuck me do you look like an innocent angel sent to tempt me. Pure and innocent, but not so innocent, are you? Your cheeks blushed and your nipples went hard when you looked at me. Do you like what you see angel?” His hands caress higher towards my ass and I start thrashing again to stop him.
“I’ll call the cops!” I squeal.
He seems to find my statement hilarious and bursts our laughing. “Do you know who I am? I’m Sebastian fucking Carter baby.” I know who he is … and I know the cops won’t do anything to him.
He carries me to my room, knowing where it is considering Jax is headed towards the other one.
Taming Sebastian (Sawson's Royal College Book 2) Page 1