by Jay Bell
Hail Caesar.
* * * * *
“Are you sure?” Caesar asked again, shutting Jason’s locker door. “For your first time it wasn’t exactly… sweet.”
“It was awesome,” Jason raved. “I wasn’t expecting rose petals and champagne. Last night was…” He glanced around a hallway swarming with students. “Uh, are we really talking about this in the middle of school?”
Caesar grinned shamelessly. “I’ve got nothing to hide.”
“Anyway, it wasn’t emotionless.” Jason swallowed, feeling vulnerable. “I felt things. Did you?”
“Of course,” Caesar said. “Come on. I’ll walk you to class.”
“You aren’t going to carry my books for me?”
“Uh-uh. You seem to be one of those newfangled independent women. Dinner’s on you next time, by the way.”
Jason beamed at him as they walked down the hall, nearly bumping into a few people because of it. “So when is the next time?”
Caesar looked surprised. “Well, if you’re leaving it up to me, how does every single night sound?”
“That would get expensive,” Jason said.
“You’re charging me?”
Jason glanced over at Caesar, then elbowed him. “I meant the next date, asshole! Not… you know.”
Caesar chuckled. “I know, I know!”
“Anyway, it’s Friday night, so I figured we’d catch a movie or something.”
“That might be tricky.”
Jason led them to a door and stopped. “This is my class. What do you mean tricky?”
“You need to lay low tonight, be the perfect foster son so we don’t arouse suspicion.”
A tea party with Amy, making peace with Peter, and putting in an appearance for Mr. and Mrs. Hubbard. He knew Caesar was right, but he still didn’t like it. “So basically I hang out with your family until our nightly hookup? That’s how it is from now on?”
“No. Tomorrow night I’m going to tell Mom about the big party everyone is going to, and how you found out about it and want to tag along. I’ll pout about how you’ll ruin my fun and complain that you need to make friends of your own.”
Jason grinned. “I’m such a nuisance!”
Caesar rolled his eyes dramatically. “Tell me about it! Unfortunately, my mom will insist that a good place to make new friends is at a party, or maybe she’ll lecture me about the family bond. Regardless, in the end I’ll grudgingly agree, and she’ll pat me on the head for being a good big br— Well, a good role model to you.”
“Are you serious?” Jason asked. “There’s really a party tomorrow?”
Caesar nodded. “All you have to do until then is play a few video games, brush some Barbie doll hair, and kill some brain cells with reality television.”
“And chore rewards tomorrow morning, no doubt.” Jason sighed. “Why must my life be so hard?”
“I’ll make it up to you.” Caesar ruffled his hair and turned away, saying one more word over his shoulder as he went. “Tonight.”
Jason could deal with that—could deal with anything, if it meant spending more time together.
Chapter Eight
Jason had always assumed that wanting was the problem, and that getting would cure him. His infatuation for guys usually manifested as sexual desire. Sure he experienced all sorts of crazy feelings inside, but these would culminate into lust. Before Caesar, he’d never had a chance to satisfy those sexual cravings and soothe his heart. Now he was discovering that sex only strengthened the bond. He snuck back into Caesar’s room on Friday night, too hungry to talk. Afterwards he felt a little calmer. They murmured words to each other, drifting in and out of sleep until Jason forced himself to return to his room. Then it began all over again. He didn’t want to be separated. The hunger remained, and sex was only a side dish to his appetite, not a meal. Jason wanted to be near Caesar, to hear the sound of his voice, to bask in his presence. Or at the very very least, he wanted to be able to watch him from across the room, like he was doing now.
The party was exactly what Jason had expected. Someone’s parents were out of town—a girl he didn’t recognize—and everything had been fairly civilized until her older brother showed up with the kegs. A couple rounds of “Happy Birthday” were sung, so presumably this was all one big present for her. Jason hoped she was turning eighteen because her parents were going to disown her when they discovered this mess.
Still, he was willing to reap the benefits, albeit in a different manner from everyone else here. He wasn’t interested in the beer. Jason held a full plastic cup without sipping from it. Getting to hang around with Caesar, that was awesome. At first, anyway. Jason had been introduced to countless people, Caesar’s arm around his neck the whole time. As the music got louder and the first keg ran dry, Caesar was pulled away from him. So many people knew him, all of them wanting a piece. Jason could relate, but this left him on the sidelines.
Kurt provided some companionship. The guy still intimidated Jason, despite being civil enough, and they didn’t have much in common. When conversation ran dry, Jason found a place on the couch. Occasionally the crowds would part just right, like clouds moving aside to reveal the sun, and he would see Caesar.
“That’s the same face you make during his wrestling meets,” said a familiar voice as the weight on the couch shifted. “Surprising, because he’s not nearly as naked right now.”
Jason glanced over at Steph and smiled. “I have a very good imagination.”
She crinkled her nose at this before nodding to the room. “Enjoying the party?”
“Eh.”
“Same here. This is supposed to be my big night too.”
“Oh?”
Steph nodded. “I’m back on the prowl, interviewing potential candidates.”
“Any luck?”
“I met a pretty college boy, and things were going well until he opened his mouth.”
“Dumb as a rock?” Jason asked.
Steph shook her head. “Breath. Smelled like he’d eaten roadkill.”
“You could always buy him a pack of gum.”
“Trust me, this guy needed a sand blaster. I don’t think he’d brushed his teeth for weeks.” She raised her cup to her lips, thin metal loops tumbling down her forearm as she took a sip. “So how about you two?”
“Good,” Jason said. “Great. I just wish I could get him alone.”
“I know the feeling.” Steph smiled at private memories. Then she glanced across the crowd in Caesar’s direction, Jason doing the same. Some sort of drinking game was going on involving cups balancing on foreheads. Steph sighed. “Don’t let him drive home like that. No matter what he says. He can handle a few beers. After that it’s—” She pantomimed yanking a steering wheel back and forth, causing Jason to laugh.
“I’ll make sure he doesn’t drive. I promise.”
“Good.” Steph’s features grew serious. “Take care of him, okay? I love him, but I know he isn’t meant for me. I’m hoping maybe you can help him find his way.”
“What, is he lost or something?”
She fixed him with a stare, making him wish he hadn’t responded so flippantly. Then she took another sip of her beer. “Does he ever talk about his grandma?”
“No. What about her?”
Steph seemed about to respond. Then her eyes widened slightly at something farther away. “Put your hand on my leg.”
“What?”
“Please!”
Jason put his hand on her knee, Steph moving it up to her thigh. He was about to pull away when someone spoke.
“Hi, Stephanie. I wondered where you went.”
Jason glanced up. The guy was huge, hulking, and handsome in a world’s-hottest-caveman sort of way. But man, that breath was rancid! Jason moved his hand away and put an arm around Steph. “Who’s this?” he asked, trying to make his voice sound deep. “Steph, you haven’t been flirting with other guys again, have you? We talked about this!”
“I can’t help my
self!” she cried.
“This can’t keep happening,” Jason said. “Either you’re mine completely, or you’re not mine at all.”
“I’m all yours,” Steph said, sounding like a daytime soap. “I promise I’ll never stray again!” Then she leaned close, pressing her lips against Jason’s neck.
He glared up at the caveman while she kissed him, trying not to laugh when she nipped at his neck. Finally the guy huffed and stomped off. Then Jason very gently pushed Steph away.
“No offense,” he said, wiping his neck, “but now I’m one hundred percent certain that I’m gay.”
“All the good ones are,” Steph said. “I think Caesar enjoyed our little show.”
Jason glanced across the room to see Caesar giving him a thumbs up. The guy was so drunk that he swayed in place. Jason rolled his eyes at him and turned his attention back to Steph.
“Shame about his breath,” Jason said. “He was hot.”
“I know.” Steph sighed. “Normally I have nothing against a fixer-upper. You should have seen Caesar’s hair when we first met. Can you picture him with a pony tail?”
“Seriously?”
“Mm-hm. Very nineties.”
Jason laughed. “So what were you saying about his grandma?”
Steph shook her head. “It’s nothing important. Honestly.”
She changed the subject, and as they continued chatting, Jason decided not to worry about it. He’d rather hear whatever it was from the source. Besides, how interesting could a story about Caesar’s grandmother really be?
As the night wore thin, Steph said goodbye and left. After she had gone, Jason felt puzzled. That she loved Caesar and always would was obvious, but she also behaved as if she’d made peace with them not being together. And yet, those text messages still came in torrents. Did she feel differently when at home and alone? Is that when being apart from Caesar hurt too much?
“There’s my man!”
Before he knew what has happening, Jason was pulled to his feet and kissing a bottle of rubbing alcohol. That’s what Caesar tasted like anyway. Still, a kiss was a kiss, so Jason made the best of it. When Caesar stumbled back a few steps, Jason noticed how many stares they were attracting.
“Let’s get out of here,” he suggested.
“Yes.” Caesar raised an index finger. “The kegs have been sucked dry. So, yes.”
Jason got him outside so the inevitable “No, no, I can drive” conversation could take place. Thankfully, Caesar didn’t need much convincing that he was too trashed.
“You can drive,” he said, pressing the keys to Jason’s chest. “I trust you with my baby. I trust my baby with my baby.”
“Uh, I don’t have my license.”
Caesar swiped a hand through the air like a cat batting at a fly. “No problem. Learner’s permit.”
“I don’t have that either. I’ve never driven before.”
This seemed to sober Caesar up somewhat. “Never?”
“Never.”
“Well, shit.” Caesar considered the night around them. “Okay. Shit. It’s going to be a long walk. You sure we can’t drive?”
“I’m up for a hike,” Jason said. “We can handle it, right? We’re tough!”
“Yeah!” Caesar said, throwing an arm around him. “Tougher than beef jerky. Come on.”
They made their way down the driveway to the sidewalk… and occasionally onto lawns or out into the street, thanks to Caesar’s weaving and winding. This mostly happened when he was ranting about topics Jason struggled to follow, but over the next hour, Caesar slowly became more coherent.
“Are we almost there?” Jason asked.
Caesar stopped, looking up and down the street. “I don’t even know where we are.”
“What?”
“I was following you!”
Jason covered his face with his palm, leaving it there until Caesar pulled his arm away.
“I think I can get us home.”
Jason didn’t hide his disbelief. “Really?”
“Yup. Check it out!”
Caesar ran off across a lawn, a security light blinking on as he reached a driveway. There, leaning against the garage door, was a BMX bike. Caesar got on the bike, laughing as he coasted down the driveway. Then he pulled up to Jason on the sidewalk.
“Hop on!”
“Are you kidding me?” But of course he wasn’t. “You can’t take some poor kid’s bike!”
“I’ll bring it back tomorrow,” Caesar said, glancing at the street corner. “Wandering Oak and Locust. That’s easy to remember, because we’re wandering around like a couple of locusts.”
Jason shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
“This will save us so much time,” Caesar said unabashed. “Do you really want to walk two more hours?”
“Is that how far away we are?”
“I don’t know, but with this we can find our way home quicker.” Caesar flashed him a smile. “Hop on. I’ll even give you the seat.”
Jason glanced back at the house to make sure no one was coming after them. Then he got on the bike, struggling to find a place to put his feet until he rested them on the rear wheel wingnuts. Caesar stood on the pedals to get them moving, and with Jason hogging the seat, he had to remain standing. This left Jason blind as to where they were going, but they were picking up enough speed that he needed to grab Caesar’s hips.
“If you’re too drunk to drive,” Jason shouted over the wind, “should you really be riding a bike?”
“They never warned us against it in school,” Caesar shouted back. “Must be perfectly safe!”
The bike wobbled dangerously as they left the sidewalk, went over a curb, and took a sharp left.
“I totally know where we are now,” Caesar shouted. “Hold on!”
The lights grew brighter as the neighborhood gave way to a large street. Before Jason could complain, they wobbled back to the parallel sidewalk. The night was late enough to keep traffic thin, but cars still zoomed by. One, trying to pull out of a gas station, screeched to a halt and honked as they cut it off. Jason kept craning his neck to see around Caesar, always regretting doing so. For the next fifteen minutes, he simply pressed his cheek against Caesar’s back and closed his eyes. Then the bike brakes squeaked, bringing them to a halt.
“Uh,” Caesar said.
Jason put his feet down to help provide balance and looked around. They were stopped on a high overpass, one with an entrance ramp that veered down to the right and joined with the highway. “We’re not going to—”
“We have to,” Caesar said. “Just one exit and we’re nearly there.”
“Isn’t there a frontage road or something?”
“Uh-uh. Not here.”
Jason saw he was right. This portion of the freeway was raised above the ground. The land running parallel consisted of a cracked, weed-covered parking lot, beyond it a field full of rubble where a building had once stood. The bike might have been built for rocketing over dirt mounds, but it wouldn’t be able to handle piles of stone.
“Just one exit,” Caesar said. “It’ll take us five minutes, tops.”
“You’re going to get us killed.”
“I won’t let anything happens to you,” Caesar slurred. Then he tried to correct himself. “Happen to yous.”
“We’re doomed,” Jason moaned.
“Nah. Well, maybe. Can I sit on your lap?”
“Is that a last request?”
Caesar sat instead of answering. He was heavier than he looked, but at least Jason would be pinned down. He wrapped his arms around Caesar’s sweaty torso, his eyes just able to peek over the shoulder in front of him. Already the bike was moving forward, picking up speed as it coasted down the ramp.
“Ready?”
“No,” Jason said. Then he started yelling because they were going really fast now.
A car sped past them to their left, then another. A third one swerved away from them as they reached the end of the ram
p and rocketed onto the shoulder. There wasn’t much room between the rail on their right and the freeway to their left. The late hour made little difference to the traffic here. Cars zipped by them every other second, wind buffeting them each time. Jason imagined them being blown over the side where they would fall who knew how far, or perhaps worse, Caesar would overcompensate and steer them directly into traffic.
“We’re going to die!” Jason screamed, grabbing tighter to Caesar.
“We’ll be fine!” Caesar shouted. “I’m as sober as a fucking nun right now. Holy shit!”
That last exclamation was prompted by a semi-truck hauling two trailers that barreled past them, honking its horn. As it passed, the world to their left became a dark wall of steel, whirling tires, and the loud hum of rubber racing across concrete. They saw the dimmed brake lights just before the aftershock of air hit them. Now the bicycle really started wobbling, the tips of the right handlebar going over the rail, a pedal skidding against it once, twice, three times before the bike swung to the left toward the road. Jason reached out and grabbed the handlebar, yanking it in the other direction, but way too much. The bike veered toward the rail and seemed certain to collide with it until, miraculously, the rail moved to the right as if wanting to get out of their way.
They had made it to the next exit ramp. Barely! The road angled upward, Caesar letting them coast to a stop so he could hop off. Jason did the same. They looked at each other wide-eyed, dizzy with adrenaline and fear.
“I’ll never drink again,” Caesar said.
“Funny, I was just thinking of starting!”
Caesar laughed first, Jason soon joining him. Then they pushed the bike to the top of the ramp. Jason recognized where they were now.
“I’m taking us the rest of the way home,” he said.
“Fine with me,” Caesar said, hopping on the bike and patting his lap. “This is how we should have done it from the beginning,” he said as Jason took a seat on him. “Much more natural this way.”
“Ha ha.”
Caesar wrapped his arms around him, which felt oddly comforting, especially considering how he’d endangered both their lives a few short moments ago. With this in mind, Jason took it slow, pulling into the neighborhood at an earlier turn than usual to avoid traffic. The darkness and silence were welcome after the hectic nightmare they’d barely escaped. Jason leisurely pedaled down the street, coasting as they neared home.